Street Cred; or, how to treat women well assuming you're already not a douche

[demotu]

Notes: I wrote this essay for to post to my RL circle of friends, despite reasons explained within as to why that's probably a bad idea, and I probably will when I find the guts to. In the meantime, I thought my journal friends might (a) find it interesting and (b) be willing to tell me if I said something utterly stupid. In other words, concrit

Comments

[cathedral_junki]

This is a very interesting essay. Thank you for posting it. Because it has helped bring some things into perspective. I do what you're talking about, in fact i don't even wait to be asked to prove my street cred, i generally assume that the onus is on me and that i always start off in the negative until i prove otherwise. I think part of my reasoning for this is that i have accepted the idea that as a rule women are (insert typical stereotype here) but /i'm/ not. So in a way your rant applies to women as well as men, because i do it to, not only to i offer up my own proof of street cred unasked, i expect it of other women as well. I'm sure there is my father, who doesn't really care for women or think much of us and the ever present fall back "society." which, while undoubtedly culpable, is also rather trite. Additionally, i am awed and impressed by your physics skills. I'm working on my second MA in the humanities I'll be heading for a PhD next, but, for the moment, anyway, i feel that my own work isn't as impressive or difficult as physics, engendering or any other math based subject. Again echos of my father who is an engineer.

Finally I'm very sorry to hear about what happened to you in Europe, and i hope it hasn't put you off travel.

[demotu]

You're welcome, and thanks for the comment! I definitely do the same sort of thing, where I immediately go about proving my street cred a lot of the time, rather than waiting to see if I'll need to, and censoring my words so I don't talk about feminist or even just female things too soon in a friendship, lest i jeopardize it. In fact I'd say I do it so blatantly that I get accepted into male circles fairly quickly, but not fairly naturally, if that makes any sense. Practice makes perfect, right!

That really sucks about your dad - I think these attitudes get more and more prevalent (and move past street cred and right into blatant sexism) as you go up the generations. And holy, there are plenty of humanities degrees I'd love to be doing! That's the thing with math based stuff - either you love it or you hate it, either you get it or you don't, and there are many complex and worthwhile things to be thinking about that don't involve much or any math. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise! And my physics skills are fairly n00bish, I'm only just starting a masters in the fall and have much left to learn. :)

Nah, the experiences in Europe were mostly eye-opening, and definitely not permanently traumatizing. It made me realize how awesome Canada is in this regard, how "well-behaved" our men are.