Conversation observation
I was so excited to blog this about 3 minutes ago. The time it took me to get out my laptop and set up seems to have killed my desire. Maybe I can bring this entry to life. I'll probably delete it.
I was realizing how the tone of a persons answer can mirror the tone of the question that was asked, thus dictating the entire conversation. Consequently, a person who wants to ask a stranger a simple question, like "How is your semester going?" can either find themselves in a boring conversation that the other person wants to get out of, or the two of them can have an easy, lively conversation that they can both enjoy.
If person A asks in a neutral, slightly bored tone "So, how's your semester going?" and it is obvious he is just being polite, person B will recognize this and answer with the same bored tone- "Oh, fine thanks." And where does the conversation go from there? Neither of them seems very interested in talking to the other, and they both might end up thinking the other person is just boring.
However if person A tries this in a cheerful, interested tone, "Oh hey! How is your semester going?" then person B will feel like A really cares, so he is more likely to answer with a "Its going really well!" and possibly go into details, or return the question with comparable enthusiasm.
The same is true if person A seems slightly annoyed and sarcastic, as if their own semester is not going well. "*sigh* So, how's YOUR semester going?" then person B might tone down their answer, even if they are happy about something, just in case person A doesn't want to hear about it. "Eh, it's been good I guess. You know."
This seems to be true for the major spectrum of conversational tone levels, with the exceptions being at the extremes. If person A asks in such a way that person B finds uncharacteristic, person B will probably assume there is something wrong with A, and answer in a tone opposite to how the question was asked.
Example, a unrealistically cheerful person A might ask "Hey!!! How are you?? How is your semester??!" and person B might give A a strange look, and answer with a wary "Um... good?"
Or, if person A asks it in a very sad voice, B might answer in a deliberately cheerful way in attempts to change A's tone.
I might pick the rest of this up later. I just wanted to get it down. Tell me what you think. Is it stupid? Obvious? Stupidly obvious? I thought it was an interesting realization that you can be in control of the mood in most conversations you choose to start with strangers.
I was realizing how the tone of a persons answer can mirror the tone of the question that was asked, thus dictating the entire conversation. Consequently, a person who wants to ask a stranger a simple question, like "How is your semester going?" can either find themselves in a boring conversation that the other person wants to get out of, or the two of them can have an easy, lively conversation that they can both enjoy.
If person A asks in a neutral, slightly bored tone "So, how's your semester going?" and it is obvious he is just being polite, person B will recognize this and answer with the same bored tone- "Oh, fine thanks." And where does the conversation go from there? Neither of them seems very interested in talking to the other, and they both might end up thinking the other person is just boring.
However if person A tries this in a cheerful, interested tone, "Oh hey! How is your semester going?" then person B will feel like A really cares, so he is more likely to answer with a "Its going really well!" and possibly go into details, or return the question with comparable enthusiasm.
The same is true if person A seems slightly annoyed and sarcastic, as if their own semester is not going well. "*sigh* So, how's YOUR semester going?" then person B might tone down their answer, even if they are happy about something, just in case person A doesn't want to hear about it. "Eh, it's been good I guess. You know."
This seems to be true for the major spectrum of conversational tone levels, with the exceptions being at the extremes. If person A asks in such a way that person B finds uncharacteristic, person B will probably assume there is something wrong with A, and answer in a tone opposite to how the question was asked.
Example, a unrealistically cheerful person A might ask "Hey!!! How are you?? How is your semester??!" and person B might give A a strange look, and answer with a wary "Um... good?"
Or, if person A asks it in a very sad voice, B might answer in a deliberately cheerful way in attempts to change A's tone.
I might pick the rest of this up later. I just wanted to get it down. Tell me what you think. Is it stupid? Obvious? Stupidly obvious? I thought it was an interesting realization that you can be in control of the mood in most conversations you choose to start with strangers.