(no subject)
I accidentally got my mac on tonight. I incidentally used stalking to hit on a girl. There was some minor flirtation that calls to mind Ryan's infamous galoshes episode.
I was leaving Tappan on my way to the library when a girl I had never seen before exited the second floor and descended the steps in front of me. I thought nothing of it until I noticed a large text book in her hand that lead me to believe she might also be on her way to the library.
It was dark outside and though the crime alerts were far behind us I knew I was an imposing looking man, really dark and sinister, you know rapist material.
Walking down the slant from Tappan (after we both paused to observe flapjack, the local raccoon, pawing at his favorite trash can buffet) I noticed she was walking rather fast and grew concerned that she might truly be afraid of my awesome presence.
When we both turned the same direction I thought it best to say something to calm her fears in case she was going to the library that i would be following her and that I, in fact, was not a rapist.
"You aren't going to the library by any chance?"
She turned around and realized I was talking to her. "No, actually I'm not."
"Oh. I was just concerned we were both going the same direction. I didn't want to think I was stalking you when we kept turning the same direction."
She laughed.
"Don't worry. This campus is safe anyway. There was that one week of crime alerts but other than that we're fine."
"Yeah. It just seemed like you were walking awful fast."
"Oh no. I wasn't concerned."
At this point I was concerned we would still be walking in the same direction but now in uncomfortable silence.
"So where are you going, if you don't mind me asking."
"It's fine. I'm just headed to Minnich so it's not that far. Getting some early studying done?"
"Working on a project actually. That raccoon is nuts by the way."
"I thought he was flapjack?"
"Yeah, that's his name, but he's crazy."
"Yep. Well good luck."
"Thanks. It was nice not stalking you."
I've never used stalking as a good start to a conversation but I think I should begin to use it more.
"Hi, my name is Matt and I'm not stalking you."
"I know we've been in the same class the whole semester but I didn't start stalking you till now, I swear."
"Just because I'm following you everywhere you go doesn't mean I'm stalking you."
"I don't remember any restraining order."
Add those to my pick up lines poster.
I was leaving Tappan on my way to the library when a girl I had never seen before exited the second floor and descended the steps in front of me. I thought nothing of it until I noticed a large text book in her hand that lead me to believe she might also be on her way to the library.
It was dark outside and though the crime alerts were far behind us I knew I was an imposing looking man, really dark and sinister, you know rapist material.
Walking down the slant from Tappan (after we both paused to observe flapjack, the local raccoon, pawing at his favorite trash can buffet) I noticed she was walking rather fast and grew concerned that she might truly be afraid of my awesome presence.
When we both turned the same direction I thought it best to say something to calm her fears in case she was going to the library that i would be following her and that I, in fact, was not a rapist.
"You aren't going to the library by any chance?"
She turned around and realized I was talking to her. "No, actually I'm not."
"Oh. I was just concerned we were both going the same direction. I didn't want to think I was stalking you when we kept turning the same direction."
She laughed.
"Don't worry. This campus is safe anyway. There was that one week of crime alerts but other than that we're fine."
"Yeah. It just seemed like you were walking awful fast."
"Oh no. I wasn't concerned."
At this point I was concerned we would still be walking in the same direction but now in uncomfortable silence.
"So where are you going, if you don't mind me asking."
"It's fine. I'm just headed to Minnich so it's not that far. Getting some early studying done?"
"Working on a project actually. That raccoon is nuts by the way."
"I thought he was flapjack?"
"Yeah, that's his name, but he's crazy."
"Yep. Well good luck."
"Thanks. It was nice not stalking you."
I've never used stalking as a good start to a conversation but I think I should begin to use it more.
"Hi, my name is Matt and I'm not stalking you."
"I know we've been in the same class the whole semester but I didn't start stalking you till now, I swear."
"Just because I'm following you everywhere you go doesn't mean I'm stalking you."
"I don't remember any restraining order."
Add those to my pick up lines poster.