Let It Be
My heart is heavy right now. Dysphoria raining ever so hard that I just want to sit here for a moment, and let it drench me out of the apathy that has chilled me to the bones. I shudder for a moment and think about what my mom always tells us when we were kids.
"Strike while the iron is hot!"
Or looking back at a time in college when I submitted my final term paper in my Developmental Psychology class, a day late, and reading what my professor had written.
"Mitch, it doesn't have to be perfect, it just have to be on time."
Need I say more that I got a low grade on that paper because I submitted it late?
Now as I type this, those words haunt me with such reverberating intensity that is making me feel sick to my stomach right now. I cannot help but think about the last thing that Laura said to me yesterday, as I was leaving the mail room.
"Mitch, 5 minutes? Cut me some slack here..."
That's exactly what is running through my head right now. The 22nd, yesterday, was the last day to apply and I still had 5 minutes before the deadline, damn it! (sorry, had to get that out of my chest)
It wouldn't have made a difference to talk to her sooner. I needed to be sure that it is what I want to do. Although, as my mentor, it would've made sense to actually voice my interest in the position to her at the very beginning, yet I still needed to have that conviction within--sure of myself, of what I want, and what I can offer.
The reason for my waiting to the very last minute to apply was not because I did not think I was right for the job, on the contrary, I know I am the best qualified candidate for the position.
I had to carefully consider what Alicia, our Executive Director, had asked of me-- to reconsider and stay on when I expressed my desire to resign a few weeks ago. I will forever cherish what she had said to me that day. It really made me feel good to know, and it is the best pat on the back of my career yet.
However, I have to think what is best for me too.
D. Chopra wrote that "Success can be defined as the continued expansion of happiness and the progressive realization of worthy goals."
Moreover, he wrote that "Success is a journey, not a destination. Material abundance, in all it's expression, happens to make the journey more enjoyable, but success includes good health, energy and enthusiasm for life, fulfilling relationship, creative freedom, and a sense of well-being."
I felt that my opportunity was there to be able to extend myself upward and outward. To reach out eagerly and without fear for a newer and richer experience.
I can probably still talk to Laura and the rest of the gods of SC of Rochester, and plead my case and maybe she'll reconsider and hire me instead of whoever she has prematurely offered the position to.
Right. *grunts* (asa ka pa, mitch)
Maybe this will prove to be a learning experience for me...
"To not wait too long, and strike while the iron is still indeed hot."
"That sometimes it doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be on time,"
"To wait at the last minute, maybe too late."
Perhaps there is a lesson to be learned here. I have to believe there is.
Okay Paul, now SING for me.
"Strike while the iron is hot!"
Or looking back at a time in college when I submitted my final term paper in my Developmental Psychology class, a day late, and reading what my professor had written.
"Mitch, it doesn't have to be perfect, it just have to be on time."
Need I say more that I got a low grade on that paper because I submitted it late?
Now as I type this, those words haunt me with such reverberating intensity that is making me feel sick to my stomach right now. I cannot help but think about the last thing that Laura said to me yesterday, as I was leaving the mail room.
"Mitch, 5 minutes? Cut me some slack here..."
That's exactly what is running through my head right now. The 22nd, yesterday, was the last day to apply and I still had 5 minutes before the deadline, damn it! (sorry, had to get that out of my chest)
It wouldn't have made a difference to talk to her sooner. I needed to be sure that it is what I want to do. Although, as my mentor, it would've made sense to actually voice my interest in the position to her at the very beginning, yet I still needed to have that conviction within--sure of myself, of what I want, and what I can offer.
The reason for my waiting to the very last minute to apply was not because I did not think I was right for the job, on the contrary, I know I am the best qualified candidate for the position.
I had to carefully consider what Alicia, our Executive Director, had asked of me-- to reconsider and stay on when I expressed my desire to resign a few weeks ago. I will forever cherish what she had said to me that day. It really made me feel good to know, and it is the best pat on the back of my career yet.
However, I have to think what is best for me too.
D. Chopra wrote that "Success can be defined as the continued expansion of happiness and the progressive realization of worthy goals."
Moreover, he wrote that "Success is a journey, not a destination. Material abundance, in all it's expression, happens to make the journey more enjoyable, but success includes good health, energy and enthusiasm for life, fulfilling relationship, creative freedom, and a sense of well-being."
I felt that my opportunity was there to be able to extend myself upward and outward. To reach out eagerly and without fear for a newer and richer experience.
I can probably still talk to Laura and the rest of the gods of SC of Rochester, and plead my case and maybe she'll reconsider and hire me instead of whoever she has prematurely offered the position to.
Right. *grunts* (asa ka pa, mitch)
Maybe this will prove to be a learning experience for me...
"To not wait too long, and strike while the iron is still indeed hot."
"That sometimes it doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be on time,"
"To wait at the last minute, maybe too late."
Perhaps there is a lesson to be learned here. I have to believe there is.
Okay Paul, now SING for me.
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