Phones.
You know yours is fucked up when you answer a call and the handset starts dialing 2s all across the screen. Then when you hit End, it ignores you and starts dialing 4s instead. That's when you decide to rip the battery out of the smug little bastard.
You put the battery back in and turn the phone over just as the guy calls back again. You answer the call, only to find that the phone is laughing at you as it continues to dial 2s again. The 2 button is fine. The 4 button is fine. All the buttons on the pad are fine. Yet there is a continues "dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-" of 2s dialing themselves across the screen.
Meanwhile, the guy that called you has already hung up (and is probably cussing you for all the 2s in his ear).
I decided, then, to take my problem up with the motherless bitch of a phone base. It's sitting there like it hasn't done a thing; like if the silly bitch had lips, it'd be whistling innocently. I look up from the handset and coldly at it.
As if snatching the beating heart from my mortal enemy, I remove the power cord from the rear of the base. Sometimes I wish electronics could have nerve systems so I could make them feel the pain of losing their source current (oh and how it would suffer so exquisitely). Regardless, the base shuts off and resets the perpetual stroke victim still dialing happily away in my hands.
I wait five seconds and plug it back in. I think it could feel my level of annoyance. It hesitated for a moment and came back online with a *blink*blink*. Believe me, if it wouldn't have, the handset and base would have met their timely demise at the business end of my 12 gauge.
If there's one thing I can't stand it's technology that acts like the crack-head humans that made it.
You put the battery back in and turn the phone over just as the guy calls back again. You answer the call, only to find that the phone is laughing at you as it continues to dial 2s again. The 2 button is fine. The 4 button is fine. All the buttons on the pad are fine. Yet there is a continues "dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-" of 2s dialing themselves across the screen.
Meanwhile, the guy that called you has already hung up (and is probably cussing you for all the 2s in his ear).
I decided, then, to take my problem up with the motherless bitch of a phone base. It's sitting there like it hasn't done a thing; like if the silly bitch had lips, it'd be whistling innocently. I look up from the handset and coldly at it.
As if snatching the beating heart from my mortal enemy, I remove the power cord from the rear of the base. Sometimes I wish electronics could have nerve systems so I could make them feel the pain of losing their source current (oh and how it would suffer so exquisitely). Regardless, the base shuts off and resets the perpetual stroke victim still dialing happily away in my hands.
I wait five seconds and plug it back in. I think it could feel my level of annoyance. It hesitated for a moment and came back online with a *blink*blink*. Believe me, if it wouldn't have, the handset and base would have met their timely demise at the business end of my 12 gauge.
If there's one thing I can't stand it's technology that acts like the crack-head humans that made it.