Zoe,
I bet you want to kick my ass right now. If it makes you feel better, I kind of want to kick my own ass for letting my guard down and for letting the boys get in the line of fire. Bad enough I got snagged; worse that Sammy did too.
We're okay. Stuck in 1930's New York City, but okay. We're looking for a way back, but I'll admit things aren't looking good on that front right now. So if you guys have a rescue in the works, I won't say no.
But if for some reason we don't make it back, there's some things I need to say. I love you. I never thought I'd fall in love again after Mary, but you changed my view on that. Changed my view on a lot of things. For the better. I consider myself incredibly lucky to have had even the short time we have had.
I never thought I'd have more kids. Grace is a miracle that can send me speechless every time I look at her. Make sure she knows her Daddy loves her and never wanted to leave her.
I'm pretty sure I don't need to ask this, but I will because it's important. Keep an eye on Dean. Between the Yellow Eyed Demon and the life I dragged him into, that boy's lost more than his share. He's going to need someone to keep him from going completely off the rails, someone to show him how to keep going.
I hope to hell you get a chance to tell me off for writing all this in person. I just needed to say these things in case I don't make it back.
All my love,
John
Dean,
I know you're probably freaking the hell out right now. Sam and I, we're safe. In New York City in 1930, but safe. We're doing everything we can to get back, just like I know you're doing everything to find us and bring us back. If it can be done, I know between us, we'll find the way to fix this.
I love you. I don't tell you that enough. More than that, I'm proud of you. And ashamed I can't remember the last time I said that. You're an amazing person, who's had to deal with way too much way too early. You've taken care of Sammy, hell you've taken care of me when I should have been the one who was making sure you were all right.
Of all the things I've done, you and Sam and Grace are the best. You're my firstborn. You're the one who made me a Dad. The first time I saw you, held you, changed me forever.
I'm proud to be your father. And if there's a way back, I swear I'll tell you that in person.
Dad