I am a Unitarian Universalist
So, the conference last week was so awesome that it's taken me a week to try to get around to describing how it affected me in words.
The most glaring thing obviously, was it's complete difference from Opus. Now, some of you have already heard me rant about Opus (especially you India; you know my pain), but in case you haven't, let me touch on it briefly. I wouldn't say that I hated it, because I met some really amazing people, and have some really beautiful memories of beautiful moments that took place in Maryland, but all but one of these moments weren't directly related to the conference at all. It's just that there were problems and situations and all kinds of shit that went wrong, and the thing that ruined the conference for me was not the actual logistical problems that occured, but the way the community reacted.
I got a front row seat as all of the flaws in the community rose to the surface and took self-righteous aim at the leaders and staff members, including someone who was important to me (which only added to my anger and indignation). The way the community nit-picked, the way they moaned and groaned and bitched and questioned authority and demanded transparency. (Transparency? What does it matter? Just shut your mouth and move your fucking tent before I shove it up your ass. How's that for transparency?) There was also a common lack of appreciation for the staff, who had busted their asses and worked so hard, and yet instead of coming up and saying, "You know, you're doing a good job. Thanks for all the work that you've been doing," most people would continue to whine. All of this was due to the general sense of entitlement that at times can be very prevalent amongst the CUUYAN community.
And, lastly, I totally felt like a duck out of water. I did not feel like I belonged in the least, or feel like I was particularly welcomed into the community. For all of the community's talk of inclusivity, the community did not invite me in with open arms, and instead left me hanging around, feeling like an outsider (However, I do acknowledge that it was partly my fault too, because I didn't exactly make my best effort to integrate myself into the community. I let myself hover on the fringes because A) I never really considered myself a UU, and B) I never actually wanted to go to Opus in the first place).
So yeah, while I had good experiences, they are vastly disproportionate to the bad ones. After Opus, I felt even less like a UU, and was determined to avoid all events and conferences above the congregational level in the future.
But out of sheer curiousity and/or fear of India (who said she'd come and find me if I didn't go), I went to the DRUUMM summit.
And witnessed everything that is fun and good and beautiful about the UU community. I met more really cool people, learned so much, ate the best BBQ chicken known to man, and felt like I was home. I felt welcomed and felt like the the community embraced *all* aspects of my personality and identity and that is a very rare experience for me, because there are so many seemingly contradicting aspects of my faith, my personality, my tastes, and hell, my ethnicity, that whenever I've found acceptance in the past, it doesn't feel complete, because I'm only displaying some of these aspects at any given time and that acceptance was only based on what was there on the surface. But at DRUUMM, I could display them all and find acceptance for them all. I could be Mexican and Cambodian and Jewish and Mormon and UU and enjoy Ludacris and Beethoven AT THE SAME TIME, and it was all good. And I found true understanding from people who really know what it's like to feel like a goddamn outsider, not just within the church, but in fuckin' society as a whole.
And now, while I'm still very aware of the problems within the church and it's members, I also vividly aware of the beauty that can still be found there. When Sara, Denise and I went to the San Dieugito congregation Sunday morning to talk about DRUUMM and the conference, I got up to the pulpit and told them all of the amazing things at the conference that affected me and explained how these experiences have cemented my identity as a UU permanently. I said that it is what keeps me here, despite the problems and the drama and the negative aspects, because this is what makes it all worth it.
And I will stay. I know I'll probably encounter these flaws in the community again (maybe a lot), but I know that I'll also encounter the beauty again, and it will be worth it. That's why.
And well, I don't really have a choice anymore. I'm on motherfuckin' Steering Committee. What now, bitchez?
P.S. I love you all, but I have also discovered that I can only handle a large group of UUs for a certain amount of time before I start to lose my mind. I need a bit of recovery time before I can 'talk about my feelings in a safe space' again, or hear the words 'Organic' or 'Free-range' or 'Grass-fed' without wanting to tear my hair out. See you at GA.
The most glaring thing obviously, was it's complete difference from Opus. Now, some of you have already heard me rant about Opus (especially you India; you know my pain), but in case you haven't, let me touch on it briefly. I wouldn't say that I hated it, because I met some really amazing people, and have some really beautiful memories of beautiful moments that took place in Maryland, but all but one of these moments weren't directly related to the conference at all. It's just that there were problems and situations and all kinds of shit that went wrong, and the thing that ruined the conference for me was not the actual logistical problems that occured, but the way the community reacted.
I got a front row seat as all of the flaws in the community rose to the surface and took self-righteous aim at the leaders and staff members, including someone who was important to me (which only added to my anger and indignation). The way the community nit-picked, the way they moaned and groaned and bitched and questioned authority and demanded transparency. (Transparency? What does it matter? Just shut your mouth and move your fucking tent before I shove it up your ass. How's that for transparency?) There was also a common lack of appreciation for the staff, who had busted their asses and worked so hard, and yet instead of coming up and saying, "You know, you're doing a good job. Thanks for all the work that you've been doing," most people would continue to whine. All of this was due to the general sense of entitlement that at times can be very prevalent amongst the CUUYAN community.
And, lastly, I totally felt like a duck out of water. I did not feel like I belonged in the least, or feel like I was particularly welcomed into the community. For all of the community's talk of inclusivity, the community did not invite me in with open arms, and instead left me hanging around, feeling like an outsider (However, I do acknowledge that it was partly my fault too, because I didn't exactly make my best effort to integrate myself into the community. I let myself hover on the fringes because A) I never really considered myself a UU, and B) I never actually wanted to go to Opus in the first place).
So yeah, while I had good experiences, they are vastly disproportionate to the bad ones. After Opus, I felt even less like a UU, and was determined to avoid all events and conferences above the congregational level in the future.
But out of sheer curiousity and/or fear of India (who said she'd come and find me if I didn't go), I went to the DRUUMM summit.
And witnessed everything that is fun and good and beautiful about the UU community. I met more really cool people, learned so much, ate the best BBQ chicken known to man, and felt like I was home. I felt welcomed and felt like the the community embraced *all* aspects of my personality and identity and that is a very rare experience for me, because there are so many seemingly contradicting aspects of my faith, my personality, my tastes, and hell, my ethnicity, that whenever I've found acceptance in the past, it doesn't feel complete, because I'm only displaying some of these aspects at any given time and that acceptance was only based on what was there on the surface. But at DRUUMM, I could display them all and find acceptance for them all. I could be Mexican and Cambodian and Jewish and Mormon and UU and enjoy Ludacris and Beethoven AT THE SAME TIME, and it was all good. And I found true understanding from people who really know what it's like to feel like a goddamn outsider, not just within the church, but in fuckin' society as a whole.
And now, while I'm still very aware of the problems within the church and it's members, I also vividly aware of the beauty that can still be found there. When Sara, Denise and I went to the San Dieugito congregation Sunday morning to talk about DRUUMM and the conference, I got up to the pulpit and told them all of the amazing things at the conference that affected me and explained how these experiences have cemented my identity as a UU permanently. I said that it is what keeps me here, despite the problems and the drama and the negative aspects, because this is what makes it all worth it.
And I will stay. I know I'll probably encounter these flaws in the community again (maybe a lot), but I know that I'll also encounter the beauty again, and it will be worth it. That's why.
And well, I don't really have a choice anymore. I'm on motherfuckin' Steering Committee. What now, bitchez?
P.S. I love you all, but I have also discovered that I can only handle a large group of UUs for a certain amount of time before I start to lose my mind. I need a bit of recovery time before I can 'talk about my feelings in a safe space' again, or hear the words 'Organic' or 'Free-range' or 'Grass-fed' without wanting to tear my hair out. See you at GA.