Baby, please don't lose your faith in the good earth
Oscar Night Snippety-Snips:
(They're talking to Taylor Lautner on the red carpet)
"Oh, FUCK YOU! Like these frigging kids have any idea what it means to be at the Oscars. And why is Miley Cyrus there?"
(On Neil Patrick Harris' performance)
"FANS! They did a fan dance! STAND UP AND APPLAUD! What is WRONG with these people??"
(On Penelope Cruz)
"Jesus, I could listen to her read the phone book."
(On The Heart and Stroke Foundation Commercial, where they say that the sudden appearance of dizziness is a sign of stroke, and then twirl around the text on the screen)
"Well, NOW I'm fucking dizzy. I'm obviously having a stroke. What are they trying to do?"
(The Hurt Locker wins Best Original Screenplay)
"Ha. Both Tarantino and the Cohen brothers are like, '... the HELL?'"
(Sandy Powell wins for Best Costume Design)
"I think it's cool that she dedicated the award to indie/contemporary designers and everything, but she was totally UNGRACIOUS. So not classy."
(On Gabourey Sidibe who's totally having the time of her life.)
"Man, I would pee my pants if Oprah was standing up there, talking about me. I'd pee my pants if Oprah condescended to spit in my face, never mind say awesome things about me at the Oscars."
(On the Dead This Year montage)
"Are you kidding me? No Farrah? Michael Jackson steals her thunder again?"
***
In weird news, I think that Ezra Koenig of Vampire Weekend and my beloved Scott Jacoby of Bad Ronald fame are the same person. Except that Ezra Koenig is 26, and Scott Jacoby is 54.
Scott Jacoby in 1979
Ezra Koenig in 2009. THE SAME PERSON. Totally.
I have loved Scott Jacoby since I was 9, and I saw The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane on Channel 11 one night. If you've never seen that movie, you totally should - Jodie Foster plays a little girl who lives without parents or school or friends and esentially kills anyone who tries to horn in. Then she meets Mario, this other kid who's a birthday party magician, and she tells him all her homicidal secrets and then it's the two of them against the ridiculously pervy Martin Sheen. Trust me, to a 9-year-old, this is CINEMA MAGIC.
Scott Jacoby, impressing 9-year-old girls everywhere. Sigh!
Ezra Koenig, impressing 19-year-old girls everywhere.
Do you know who wrote the novel, The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane? Laird Koenig. That's just freaky.
***
Secret of the Day: I celebrated International Women's Day by watching Clueless.
(They're talking to Taylor Lautner on the red carpet)
"Oh, FUCK YOU! Like these frigging kids have any idea what it means to be at the Oscars. And why is Miley Cyrus there?"
(On Neil Patrick Harris' performance)
"FANS! They did a fan dance! STAND UP AND APPLAUD! What is WRONG with these people??"
(On Penelope Cruz)
"Jesus, I could listen to her read the phone book."
(On The Heart and Stroke Foundation Commercial, where they say that the sudden appearance of dizziness is a sign of stroke, and then twirl around the text on the screen)
"Well, NOW I'm fucking dizzy. I'm obviously having a stroke. What are they trying to do?"
(The Hurt Locker wins Best Original Screenplay)
"Ha. Both Tarantino and the Cohen brothers are like, '... the HELL?'"
(Sandy Powell wins for Best Costume Design)
"I think it's cool that she dedicated the award to indie/contemporary designers and everything, but she was totally UNGRACIOUS. So not classy."
(On Gabourey Sidibe who's totally having the time of her life.)
"Man, I would pee my pants if Oprah was standing up there, talking about me. I'd pee my pants if Oprah condescended to spit in my face, never mind say awesome things about me at the Oscars."
(On the Dead This Year montage)
"Are you kidding me? No Farrah? Michael Jackson steals her thunder again?"
***
In weird news, I think that Ezra Koenig of Vampire Weekend and my beloved Scott Jacoby of Bad Ronald fame are the same person. Except that Ezra Koenig is 26, and Scott Jacoby is 54.
Scott Jacoby in 1979
Ezra Koenig in 2009. THE SAME PERSON. Totally.
I have loved Scott Jacoby since I was 9, and I saw The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane on Channel 11 one night. If you've never seen that movie, you totally should - Jodie Foster plays a little girl who lives without parents or school or friends and esentially kills anyone who tries to horn in. Then she meets Mario, this other kid who's a birthday party magician, and she tells him all her homicidal secrets and then it's the two of them against the ridiculously pervy Martin Sheen. Trust me, to a 9-year-old, this is CINEMA MAGIC.
Scott Jacoby, impressing 9-year-old girls everywhere. Sigh!
Ezra Koenig, impressing 19-year-old girls everywhere.
Do you know who wrote the novel, The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane? Laird Koenig. That's just freaky.
***
Secret of the Day: I celebrated International Women's Day by watching Clueless.