Dollhouse AU: "Sensory [re:]Generation", 3/3 (cont)
Beginning and story information here.
*
Topher was woken by shouting.
He crawled out of his blankets. Members of the Revolution ran every which way gathering supplies, waking their compatriots and loading weapons.
Near the center of the chaos stood Caroline and Paul, conferring. Paul had a pair of long-range binoculars pressed to his eyes.
“Could be rangers,” Caroline was saying. “Odds are a thousand to one, but they might’ve spotted us on a random patrol sweep.”
“No,” Paul disagreed. “Formation’s too tight. These are military drones. Top of the line and armed.” He handed the binoculars off to her and she looked for herself. “And there’s nothing random about it. They’re headed straight towards us.”
Caroline let her arm drop. “They know where we are.”
They turned and spotted Topher at the same time. He braced himself, seeing it in their faces as both reached the same conclusion.
Caroline stormed toward him first, Paul quickly dogging her footsteps. She grabbed hold of Topher by the forearms.
“There’s no way they could’ve just found out about us. Not after we’ve been successfully hiding for years,” Caroline said through clenched teeth. “Somebody had to have told them. What did you do?”
Topher swallowed dryly, forcing himself to meet Caroline in the eyes.
“The package of data I sent. I made it like you said, but it wasn’t exactly what you asked.”
“What was it then?” Paul demanded.
“In layman’s terms? Nonsense. Gobbledygook. The message is encrypted, but when anyone decodes it, they’re not going to find bomb plans or detonation grids. They’re going to find fragments - meaningless.”
Caroline shoved him away, livid and disgusted.
Topher continued, “And I didn’t exactly hide the stream, either. It’s on a quiet back channel - but I programmed in a little set of code with an ulterior purpose. Once it hit the feed, that code turned into a beacon. A loud, shrieking one, aimed right toward getting the attention of Central. One saying ‘I’m here, come and get me’.”
“You sent them our coordinates.” Paul was dumbfounded. “What the hell is wrong with you? They’re on their way here right now. Some of these people could die, escaping!”
“You were trying to blow people up!” Topher shot back. He waved his hands. “Don’t get me wrong, I understand what you’re trying to do, really I do. More than I ever thought I could have.”
Topher breathed out, feeling drained. “But I just…can’t…be a part of this. Not like that. Not ever.”
Paul looked like he was restraining himself, and only through the greatest of effort. He turned to Caroline.
“What do we do with him?”
“Forget him,” Caroline spat. “We’ve got some seriously bigger troubles right now. We need to break camp, get the hell out of here. Try and fight them off somehow.”
She shot Topher a glare full of hostility and derision.
“Leave him to his own devices. He doesn’t stand any better a chance of getting out of here than the rest of us - and the Feds aren’t gonna care that he was the whistleblower, if they catch him. One terrorist looks like another.” Darkly, Caroline summed up, “He gets the same reward.”
With that she spun, heading off to rally her troops, Paul close by her side. Neither one of them looked back.
Topher ran, into the confusion. What else could he do? He thought maybe if he snuck off into the trees while everyone else was trying to make a stand, he might get out undetected.
He didn’t stop to think that maybe not all of the Revolutionaries would be as purpose-driven as Paul and Caroline.
Topher’s instincts kicked in at just the right time. He ducked and, by sheer luck, avoided the knife that sliced in an arc through where his head had been.
Topher turned around, fear lodged in his throat. He knew who it was.
Alpha sneered at him. He had a knife in each hand. They were under attack, everyone else was trying to get out of there, but Alpha was in no hurry. He had eyes only for Topher. He looked murderous, and disturbingly eager.
“Sniveling little turncoat,” Alpha goaded. “Did you really think I was just gonna let you walk away?”
Topher took a step back, trembling. Even knowing it’d do no good he lifted his hands in a gesture of surrender.
“Please don’t…please don’t hurt me…”
“Hurt you? Oh, such a pithy understatement for what I’m about to do.” Alpha actually laughed. Terror balled up in Topher’s chest. Alpha raised both his arms.
“Scrawny puny hacker, skinny as a rake,” he began in singsong, “Look at him shiver; look at him shake.”
Grinning, he stepped toward Topher. “How many pieces does he make? One-”
But Alpha didn’t make it past that number. He crumbled to the ground as someone behind him slammed a heavy piece of wood into the side of his skull. Alpha dropped, the knives falling from his hands.
Dominic loomed in the space where Alpha had been, dressed in dark layers, a familiar focused expression on his face.
Topher blinked, convinced that his eyes were fooling him.
“Come on,” Dominic said shortly - exactly the voice Topher remembered. He grabbed Topher’s coat by the sleeve and pulled. “Let’s get out of here.”
They ran. All around them were whistles, explosions in the dirt as drones and Revolutionaries fired at each other. People were in all directions, shouting, and they had to weave around and through them. In the commotion Topher doubted the others even noticed there was a ‘sucker there.
Dominic dragged him from the campsite, Topher doing the best he could to keep up on stumbling feet.
He was caught in the moment, all shock and fright and adrenaline, but still in his mind an astonished voice cried, Dominic is here! Dominic came to save me!
It felt like hours later when Topher finally could run no more, his muscles throbbing, his lungs heaving. He stopped, hands on his knees as he caught his breath, and Dominic let him. That’s how Topher knew they must be safe: he never would’ve been allowed the pause otherwise.
When Topher looked up again he could see they were outside the forest, hidden in a deep weed-lined ditch in the rolling terrain where it would be difficult for anyone to spot them.
But Topher hardly noticed what was around him. All he could look at was Dominic.
Dominic stared back at him with the same hard features and form Topher remembered, tall, broad-shouldered, all muscle underneath his duster. Even in the dimness his eyes were dark, hungry, and Topher realized he must’ve come a long way.
Topher thought about how he must’ve looked: starved, unwashed, in filthy mismatched clothing with stubble and uncombed hair and circles under his eyes. He tried not to shrink down, self-conscious.
Dominic’s voice was soft when he spoke but intense: “You alright?” All Topher could do was nod.
Apparently that wasn’t reassurance enough because Dominic started to check him over, frowning, eyeing him sharply for any wound.
His hands touched Topher’s body; that same cool steadiness, that same touch he had achingly tried not to think of as he lay awake those nights on the ground. Topher’s pulse fluttered.
It was quiet now. They were far away from the camp, from the Revolution, from the fighting, so that already it all seemed a distant memory. It was easy to feel like there was nothing in the whole world but him and Dominic.
Topher managed to speak. “How…how did you…?”
“As soon as the signal hit the feed, I knew it had to be your doing,” Dominic explained. “I realized you must’ve gone off with the Revolution to their hideout when you disappeared all those months ago.”
“But you came to get me. Why?”
“With the Feds on the way, I knew you’d be in trouble. Again. I didn’t have much time, so I took off right away.”
He smiled faintly at Topher. “Luckily, I had good directions.”
All Topher could do was gape, knowing he must look stupid but unable to speak.
He had missed Dominic - he had tried not to think about him, but he missed him, all the same. And yet somehow he’d forgotten, in a way where he felt awestruck now as he saw him again, just how amazing he was.
“Thank you,” Topher said at length. His voice was a murmur but he was practically gushing with gratitude. Dominic’s smile faded at the sound.
“It was nothing,” he said gruffly, looking discomfited.
“Nothing? You rescued me. You rescued me again!” Without meaning to Topher reached for him, and then noticed what he was doing and yanked his hand back, awkward. “I know I must not be exactly your favorite person, but you keep doing that. So, thank you.”
Dominic had his eyes shut, grimacing. “Topher…”
“Can’t you just let me express my gratefulness properly? The whole ‘It was nothing, citizen’ routine is kind of a letdown. I’m not about to compose epic poetry to you or anything. I just wanna say two simple words: thank-”
“Topher!” Dominic cut him off with practically a shout. Topher fell silent; they both seemed surprised by how loud his voice had been.
Dominic recovered first, jaw moving in a funny way like it was hard to get the words out. “I wanted to tell you I’m sorry.”
“You’re…sorry? For what? You didn’t-”
“I’m sorry that I lied to you.” The words rushed out in an angry mutter.
Topher stared at him. “What?”
“Back when we first met. You asked me if I was honest with you.” Dominic sighed. “I had been until that point but…after. I lied about something else.”
Topher hugged himself without realizing it. “What did you lie to me about?”
Dominic drew a steadying breath. He looked guilty. “When you told me you had feelings for me, and I said that you weren’t my type…well, that’s true, but the way I said it - the impression I probably gave - I might have been trying to mislead you.”
It took Topher almost a full minute to get the unspoken sentence there:
Into thinking I didn’t feel anything for you back.
Topher stared yet again, dumbfounded.
“You…” he began slowly, feeling like he was pulling words out of molasses. “You…jerk!” He smacked Dominic in the arm, hard as he could.
“Ow!” Dominic flinched, taken aback. “Hey!”
“You bastard! You slimy, bloodsucking, creepy bastard creep! I’m so ticked off I can’t even think of any good names to call you!”
Topher socked him a few more times, not so much throwing punches as halfheartedly flailing. Dominic caught his wrists and held him off, bemused.
Topher could feel his face heating up. He felt so angry and foolish.
“How could you?” He yanked out of Dominic’s grasp and started scrubbing the cuff of his sleeve against his face even though there was nothing to wipe off. “You knew how I felt, it took just about everything I had out of me to be able to say it in the first place, and then you went and gave me the brush-off like I was-”
“I said I was sorry, Topher. I really am,” Dominic told him, shamefaced. “That wasn’t exactly my most brilliant moment.”
“No kidding!”
“Would you calm down and let me explain?”
“Explain what?” Topher demanded hotly. “About how you hurt me into running away and almost getting myself killed by crazy terrorists and army drones and, and nature, all because I thought that you couldn’t possibly feel anything about me and it was pointless to hang around, when it turns out all along that you-”
Topher stopped. His anger cooled in a sudden instant as everything clicked and overwhelmed astonishment took its place.
“You…you like me back?” He stared into Dominic’s face, searching for any hint of a joke or another misunderstanding. “Me? Really?”
“Okay, would you stop it? You’re acting like a twelve year old girl.”
But Dominic was smirking, faintly, in a wry self-depreciative way as he said it.
Topher felt light-headed. His stomach was doing that weird twisty thing. He had to be dreaming, only this was better and more amazing than any dream, any virtu-sim, anything.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked. “Why didn’t you just…?”
“Because I didn’t want…look, when I said you weren’t my type, I meant it, because you’re really not my type. In just about every possible way.” Dominic gave an odd laugh. “From the moment I met you, you were getting on my nerves. I’ve never known anyone who could just irritate me the way you do. But I started to realize - I don’t know, it’s as if I liked being irritated by you or something. Even while I was annoyed, I felt better around you than I did around anyone else.
“I tried to brush it off, but then, after I fed on you…”
Dominic trailed off, something coming over him. He seemed almost in pain as he was lost in the memory - except it wasn’t quite pain.
And Topher understood, because he remembered what Dominic had told him: how for a ‘sucker feeding on the blood of someone they were connected to, as their donor, tasted and felt better than it did with anyone else.
Topher took in his expression, and felt an incredulous shiver at the thought he could do that to someone like Dominic.
“You fed on me twice. Why didn’t you say something then?”
Dominic shook his head. “I didn’t want another donor. Not after…the last time.” He clenched his hands. “I didn’t want to go through that again, and I didn’t want you getting hurt either.”
“Me?” Topher exclaimed.
“I said I cared about you, didn’t I? And, well, you’re kind of…fragile.”
Dominic’s voice softened at the last word. Topher didn’t think he meant it as an insult. He didn’t think he meant “weak”. Something about how he said it, it was more like…valuable. Treasured.
Like Dominic thought Topher was something worth more than him, something that needed to be protected. Even if it meant staying away.
“You make me feel safe,” Topher told him, because he didn’t know what else to say. “And not just because you’ve saved my life what has to be, what, half a dozen times by now. It’s something about you. You’re scary, but you’re guard-dog scary, like you’re keeping all the bad stuff away.”
Topher stepped towards him. “I like feeling safe, and just having you around me, it’s like all the doubt is gone, and the uncertainty, and I don’t have to worry anymore. All I have to do is look at you, and I feel like everything is going to be okay. Always.”
“Except it isn’t, because it’s not okay, because that’s not how life works,” Dominic returned sharply.
“I know that, but, it’s just how I feel. I like that feeling. I…it makes me happy. You make me happy. How can that be a bad thing?”
“I thought it was a crush, okay? Just a passing infatuation for both of us, and if we just backed off each other and gave it time, it would go away.” Dominic sighed once more. “I would’ve preferred it to go away. Easy. I thought it would be better for the both of us, so I tried cutting it off in its tracks.”
He gestured suddenly: “I didn’t think you’d do something so stupid as run off and join the Revolution! Seriously, what were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t thinking. That was kind of the point. I didn’t want to think anymore, about how I, you know, offered myself to you and you didn’t want me.” He didn’t even feel all that melodramatic as he said: “It was kind of killing me.”
“I’m not that great, Topher. Really I’m not. I think you’re just impressed by me because you haven’t met a lot of people.”
Topher adamantly shook his head. Dominic ran a hand across his own face.
“Anyway, you can never be sure about this whole connection thing,” he muttered. “I’ll admit I’ve always been a little wary: about whether or not you really feel this way, or if it’s just some kind of reaction to whatever it is my body does when I sink my fangs in. What it is that really brings ‘suckers and donors together. Maybe it’s not…us. Maybe it’s just chemicals.”
“I already was attracted to you before you ever bit me,” Topher informed him. “Besides, that’s a wasted argument. So what if it’s chemicals? There’s chemistry, and biology, and evolutionary psychology behind every physical attraction that people ever have.”
“Topher-”
But even as Dominic said it he was starting to smile, a fondness lighting his face.
“We like people’s faces because they’re symmetrical.” Topher ticked off his fingers. “We like curves…well, on women…because they symbolize reproductive health. Big eyes and rosy cheeks make us think of youth. And don’t even get me started on pheromones!”
Dominic kissed him. Topher was caught by surprise, but he quickly reciprocated.
After a moment they separated, looking at each other with matching, slightly flustered expressions.
“You’re a lot better at that than I was expecting.” Dominic’s voice was breathless, ragged.
“I thought the fangs would be more of a problem,” Topher said in a similar fashion. “But they didn’t get in the way at all.”
There was a beat, and then they went for each other again.
This time there wasn’t just kissing: there was touching, fondling, even a little groping. Topher was okay with that. He liked it a lot, actually.
He realized Dominic was trying to steer him to the ground, and he liked that idea a lot, too.
Topher clung to Dominic, a hand tracing his bicep. Something triggered his memory: his eyes fell open and he saw Adelle DeWitt’s first name written into the other man’s skin.
A prickle of guilt struck, strong enough that as much as Topher wanted he couldn’t just let it be. He pushed Dominic off with a sound of regret.
“Wait, wait. Hang on. There’s something I should probably tell you.”
“What, right now? Really?” Dominic looked at him like he wasn’t sure whether to laugh or get severely pissed. Topher cringed.
“It’s…don’t be mad, okay? I just think that you should know. Remember the last night before I left? Remember how I went to see the Voice, and then I wouldn’t tell you what happened?”
Dominic blinked. And then, he chuckled.
“I know about you and Adelle, Topher. Is that what’s bothering you so much?”
Topher stared at him for a beat. “Huh? How did…when did you-?”
“From the moment I saw you, after. I could smell her on you. I knew right away that the two of you had been together.”
Topher was tempted to start hitting Dominic and calling him a jerk again. “I thought… you acted like you didn’t know!”
“I guess I wanted to mess with you a little,” Dominic confessed. “See if you got guilty enough to cop to it on your own.”
“Why are you so cruel? But, wait,” Topher blinked, genuinely confused; “You’re not, you aren’t jealous? I mean, I know the two of you aren’t really together anymore…”
“It’s weird, actually. You’d think I would be.” Dominic grimaced. “Maybe it’s just that if I had been jealous, I would’ve had to try and tangle out which one of you I was jealous of.”
“…Oh.” After a moment’s consideration Topher thought of something.
“Dominic? The whole time I was gone…you haven’t been avoiding her.” It was a statement, not a question. “Have you.”
Dominic looked guilty again. “No,” he told Topher, voice low. “I haven’t.”
“And you haven’t just been feeding on her.”
Dominic gave him a disbelieving look. Topher supposed it was a dumb question. He laced his hands over his knees.
After a pause Dominic went, hesitant, “Are you jealous?”
“No,” Topher realized, shaking his head. Whatever was between DeWitt and Dominic, it had been there long before Topher came along. It predated him.
Besides it was pointless, being jealous of a musical goddess made flesh.
Dominic knelt down, reaching for his face. Topher’s first thought was that there was something to brush away there, dirt or the like, but then he realized Dominic was just touching him; gently using his fingers to caress the side of Topher’s cheek and chin. All the while Dominic gazed at him raptly.
Topher couldn’t take it. He pushed Dominic’s hand away. “What happened between you and her?”
“Oh my god, Topher, would you just let it go?” Dominic rolled away from him, dropping to the ground heavily on his back. “How many times do I have to tell you it doesn’t matter anymore?”
“I want to know,” Topher insisted. “If it left you so scared of commitment you thought you never, ever wanted a donor again, I think I kinda deserve to.”
“Touché,” Dominic grunted. He stared up at the hazy night sky. “The sad thing is it’s not even a very exciting story. I came to the Orphanarium not really looking for anything, just an easier meal ticket and a place to stay. I’d been wandering ever since the change and I was sick of it. I thought it’d be nice to have a roof over my head for awhile.”
“So what changed?”
“I met her,” Dominic said, like that was the only explanation needed. But Topher supposed that it was. “She was…different. The first thing I’d been interested in a very long time. I heard she needed a guitarist, so I applied for the job.”
Topher ran weeds between his knuckles. “You already knew how to play?” He couldn’t remember ever meeting anyone who knew how to use a musical instrument. It took more focus and attention than most were willing to give.
“You know those lesson sims everyone downloads when they’re still in school and trying to fill up their downtime? ‘Learn to Bodysurf in Five Easy Steps’, things like that.”
“Sure.” Topher had done ones for horseback-riding, pastry-making, rollerblading, speaking Italian, the works. But like everyone else he’d grow bored after only a few sessions and nothing would ever stick.
“Well, I did the ones for guitar.” Dominic scowled. “Only unlike everyone else in my age group, I actually finished the damn thing. And cared about what I was learning.”
“That’s really cool,” Topher said softly. He meant it, too.
He wondered if he wanted to he could learn something like that. Except for virtu-sims and stuff on the feed, no one really had hobbies anymore.
“Anyway. I joined her band, I backed her up. And then after only a little while, I guess we just…fell into each other. Drawn to each other, you might say.”
Topher understood that perfectly; he was currently resisting the urge to tangle his fingers up in Dominic’s hair, afraid it might interrupt his story.
“She became my donor, I became her…hers.” Dominic’s mouth twitched in something that was almost, briefly, a smile. “And it worked, for three years. Until it didn’t.”
“Because?” Topher prompted, unrelenting.
“I couldn’t be at the Orphanarium anymore. I just…couldn’t. There’s a method to it, but it’s not making the world any better. It’s helping people to escape from it. Only Adelle thinks that’s what people need; an escape. I couldn’t stand being a part of it anymore, and our different views broke us apart.”
Dominic sneered. “She’s right, you know. I probably was going to walk away from her eventually. It was inevitable. But it doesn’t change the fact that she pushed me out first, and it was a slap in the face when she did.”
“But you love her. You guys are still in love with each other,” Topher protested, not getting it. “I know you are. I can see it.”
Dominic sat up, looking at him.
“You’re right; I do still have feelings for her. I probably always will.” He exhaled, sounding defeated: “But it hurts to be around her.”
Dominic shook his head, wearily. “It’s over. It has to be. I just can’t do that anymore.”
Without warning he was leaning into Topher’s space again, thumb brushing the side of his throat. Topher had to remind himself to breathe.
“Like you said. I’d rather be with someone who makes me feel happy.”
Topher felt unbelievably giddy. “I make you happy?” he managed to joke. “I thought you said I drove you crazy.”
Dominic chuckled. “Well, maybe it’s a good kind of crazy,” he murmured. He moved in.
Topher struggled to focus through his own arousal as Dominic kept pushing him back further and further, trailing all over the side of Topher’s neck with his mouth, teasing as he did everything but bite.
The enthralling coolness of his grip was strong and steady on Topher’s body; he couldn’t have broken free if he tried. Not that Topher wanted to go anywhere but exactly where he was.
“Just so we’ve got this straight,” Topher managed. “I don’t want there to be any more misunderstandings between us. Let me make sure I’ve got this perfectly clear.”
Dominic paused to speak in between deliberately licking the space just beneath Topher’s jaw with the flat of his tongue. “Go on.”
Topher swallowed. “You want to take me on as your donor,” he said hoarsely.
“Yes,” Dominic agreed. He never stopped touching or tasting him all the while. Topher didn’t know what he was going to do if he ever did.
“You want to have a relationship together. A physical, serious relationship.”
“Yes.”
“You want…” To take care of me, Topher wanted desperately to say, but that probably was a bad idea. He got the sense Dominic wouldn’t have wanted that description.
“…to be together forever,” Topher finished instead.
“Nothing lasts forever,” Dominic corrected automatically. “But I promise I’ll stay with you as long as you want me.”
“Forever, then.”
He’d had enough of the teasing - he felt like he was going to tear right out of his own skin. He opened his eyes.
“Hey, um, Dominic?” Topher murmured, pitch rising slightly. “Are you hungry?”
Dominic pulled back, eyes roving purposefully. Something more than just hunger was in his gaze - or more than one kind of hunger, anyway. His voice was low and rough with meaning: “Starved.”
Topher shivered. “Well, go on then.” He bent his head back, baring his neck to him. “Do it. Please.”
Dominic feigned a lack of comprehension. “Do what, Topher?” he prompted, very strongly. The dark blue of his eyes was midnight, drowning. “What do you want me to do? Say it right.”
Was this what Dominic was going to be like in a relationship, Topher thought: precise, dominating, always in control? The idea made him shudder, but not with fear - in fact it was the opposite.
Topher kept his lids open for long enough so he could be looking Dominic in the eye when he said it.
“Take me,” he pleaded.
Dominic grinned wickedly even as he lowered his fangs to the vein in Topher’s throat.
There were plenty of places on the body a ‘sucker could choose to draw from. But the neck, that meant something. Something personal, more intimate even than Dominic’s hands already working to unfasten the buckle on Topher’s pants.
It was Topher’s last coherent thought as he was carried away on a sea of bliss.
*
It wasn’t planned to fall asleep that way in the after, still tangled up together on the ground. It was kind of sloppy, not to mention clichéd.
But Topher had come twice and lost blood from three different places on his body. He figured he could be forgiven for getting drowsy.
When Topher opened his eyes again he wasn’t sure how much time had passed, just that it was still night. His head was pillowed on Dominic’s chest and he had both arms and part of one leg wrapped around him. Dominic’s arm was draped across Topher’s midsection, holding him to his side.
Even as Topher was only just coming to, he heard a stirring sound; Dominic was also waking.
Topher watched him as his eyes opened. His irises were still that paler shade of blue.
Dominic blinked a few times before focusing on him groggily.
“Hi,” Topher said, because even he knew “So that sex we just had was fantastic” was something real people didn’t actually say. Never mind how true it was.
Dominic may have said Topher was “not his type”, but judging from his capabilities, he had clearly been in this kind of situation before. Topher hadn’t any previous experience of this particular set, but he liked to think he’d made up for it with willingness and enthusiasm.
Dominic smiled faintly. “Hey.”
They gazed at each other sleepily for a moment, neither making an attempt to move.
Dominic cleared his throat, shifting slightly.
“So, you’re kind of a clinger,” he noted with some good-natured mockery, indicating their positions. Specifically, how while they were unconscious Topher’s body had apparently decided to try and climb Dominic’s like a wall.
“Yeah,” Topher said, slightly embarrassed. He tilted his chin towards where Dominic’s arm was curled around him protectively. “But you seem to be kind of a cuddler, though, so I think it all works out.”
Dominic chortled softly. “Guess so.”
Topher knew they should probably get up but he didn’t want to. He waited for Dominic to say something but he didn’t, so he laid his head back down and closed his eyes.
After a minute he felt Dominic’s hand move lazily, rubbing his shoulders and the nape of his neck.
Topher couldn’t remember ever feeling so safe and comfortable in any place before. He was somewhere between awake and fully asleep, feeling the stickiness of his skin against Dominic’s where their bodies pressed together.
He wanted to stay there forever, never mind the fact they were naked in a field and it was probably going to start raining polluted water on them any minute. He didn’t care. He was happy.
It was cool outside and Dominic’s skin was clammy beneath him, but Topher didn’t feel cold. In fact, he felt warm. He was light-headed and sore in a few new and different places, but he didn’t mind because it felt like a reassurance, a reminder of what had just happened - and a promise that it would happen again.
Topher lay there oblivious to the wind moving across his skin, the dirt he was lying on. Dominic’s heart was beneath his ear and he listened to its slow, soothing rhythm as it beat.
*
“Come on, sleepy-head. Time to get up.” Dominic had somehow gotten out from under him and redressed.
Topher lay flat on his back, blinking dimly. He hadn’t realized he’d fallen back asleep.
Dominic tugged at his arm. “Aww,” Topher complained.
“We have to get moving. Only a few hours until the sun’s coming up. I found a natural shelter we can hide in, but we gotta be quick.”
Topher yielded to Dominic’s admittedly very practical desire not to be immolated. With only minor grousing he climbed to his feet and pulled on his clothes.
They started walking.
Topher hadn’t realized how tired he was, but even after all that sleep he still felt exhausted. It was a struggle for him to match Dominic’s grueling pace. He kept blinking his eyes, willing himself to stay awake.
He didn’t think he should be so tired. But it’d been awhile since he’d had really athletic sex; maybe he was just out of shape.
His throat was dry but he didn’t want to ask for water until they got there. His stomach hurt too, in a sick queasy way.
After a little while Topher noticed he was shivering.
That doesn’t make any sense, he thought. I don’t feel cold.
He still felt warm. In fact, he felt really hot.
“Dominic?”
The other man turned back to him with a look of impatience.
That look faded quickly as soon as he saw Topher. “Are you okay?” Dominic started to move toward him in alarm.
“No. I don’t think I feel so good…”
Topher didn’t finish his feeble sentence. As he spoke he took a step forward, and it turned out to be one step too many.
His head spun dizzily and his vision went all blurry. The heat overwhelmed him.
He saw the ground rushing up at him. And then, blackness.
*
Everything came and went in a haze. Topher was distantly aware of hands, voices, movement, but nothing else.
He had a sense that he was swimming in and out of consciousness, but he could never remember what he saw or did there, if anything, before he sank back down.
Topher had no way of knowing how long it’d been when he finally woke up.
His lids were heavy as he pried them open. He thought he heard someone speaking, whispering and far away. There was the wipe of a cool damp cloth across his forehead.
Topher tried to speak but could only manage a groan, tongue stuck thickly to the roof of his mouth.
“There. You see? I think he’s waking.”
Topher knew that voice. How did he know that voice? He tried to remember.
“Topher? Can you hear me?”
That one was harsher, more frantic. Dominic.
Topher opened his eyes and tried to focus, looking for him. “Dominic?” He sat up, or attempted to. “Where am I?” he said slowly. “What happened?”
“Shhh. Don’t try to get up just yet, sweetheart. You’ve been very ill.”
That voice…no, not just a voice. The Voice.
Topher’s eyes flew wide in surprise. Adelle DeWitt was sitting beside him, a bowl of water in her lap. It was incongruous with the rest of her appearance because she must’ve just finished a show: clad in dark curve-hugging fabrics, her hair long and flowing and her eyes framed in electric blue.
In spite of her command Topher struggled to sit. He was in DeWitt’s bed, he realized, the covers tucked around him and wearing pajamas he didn’t recognize. The lights were dim.
Dominic stood off to the side, arms crossed. He watched Topher intently, his brow creased with lines of concern.
“Dominic,” Topher said again, choking on relief. He raised a hand toward him.
Dominic walked over and sat on the bedside. DeWitt got up, moving away.
“You scared me,” Dominic said in a gruff, accusatory tone.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t…what happened?” Topher wrinkled his eyes. “I don’t remember.”
“We were walking to shelter and you passed out. When I tried to wake you up I couldn’t, and I realized you were burning up.”
“You were very sick, for not being aware of it,” DeWitt called from where she hung back. A wry smile graced her lips as she added, “Although I’m sure all your exertions of the night previous didn’t help.”
Topher flushed as he realized Dominic must’ve filled her in. Distractedly, he thought she seemed to be taking it in stride.
“The fever.” Topher remembered watching it devastate the camp. “A sickness broke out among the Revolutionaries, right before you came for me. I must’ve caught it.”
“Luckily, we have medical resources that the likes of the Revolution do not. Some enhanced fluids, some antibiotics, and you’re as right as rain.” DeWitt drifted closer but not too close. “It’s a good thing Laurence managed to bring you back here. He’s been lurking over your bedside ever since.”
“I couldn’t think of where else to go,” Dominic muttered.
“It’s okay.” Topher put his hand on top of Dominic’s where it rested on the bedspread. “I don’t mind.”
Dominic gazed at him. His relief was palpable. His fingers molded themselves around Topher’s, holding his hand.
With forced sarcasm, he went, “So, this makes twice you’ve fainted on me. If this passing out after I’ve fed on you is gonna be a habit of yours, I’m going to have to reconsider this.”
“It’s not, I promise,” Topher said, a little too indignant. Dominic chortled.
DeWitt was watching them. Dominic had his back to her so he couldn’t see her face, but Topher could. She was smiling but it was noticeably bittersweet.
Topher tried to imagine what she was thinking. The fact they were even there meant she must’ve held no grudge against them, but he doubted she felt nothing. How could she, watching the man she’d cared for worry over and embrace another?
Topher remembered what he’d seen the night he’d walked in on them. The rapture from just being around one another. The longing DeWitt had expressed. He didn’t think all of that had just gone away.
When DeWitt was Dominic’s donor, he had fed on her so often he’d been able to pass for human. To say they had a connection was an almost laughable understatement.
They both still had feelings toward one another, even now. They had to. Just because DeWitt didn’t use bitterness and anger to mask hers like Dominic, didn’t mean she wasn’t hurting like he was.
Yet DeWitt had helped save Topher, her replacement. She didn’t have to offer her assistance, but she had.
The Voice noticed Topher watching her and, to his astonishment, she broke his gaze and looked away.
Dominic cupped Topher’s face in his hands, successfully getting his attention back. Topher swallowed to clear his throat.
“So what happens now?”
DeWitt spoke unexpectedly, “We’ve already been discussing that during your convalescence, actually. If you’re still interested in working for me and helping with our virtual security, then I’d be more than happy to have you.”
Topher’s pulse fluttered with confusion. “Just me, or…?”
DeWitt gave a smile that was clearly forced. “Both of you, of course. I wouldn’t be as cruel and impractical as to try and separate a vampire from his chosen mate.”
There was no malice in the words, but Topher flinched anyway.
“It’d be safe here,” Dominic offered. He still was only looking at Topher, for all purposes ignoring the woman behind him. “I know I said I left here before because I couldn’t stand it, but…given the alternatives, there are worse things. I wouldn’t go crazy from it,” he reassured him.
Topher looked between DeWitt and Dominic. They were making it sound like it was his choice completely. Like the only one who might have issue was him.
“But what about you two?” he asked. “You don’t mind-?”
“As I said,” DeWitt’s voice was flat, toneless, “we have already discussed it.”
Dominic didn’t say anything, but gave an almost imperceptible nod.
So that’s it? Topher thought, disbelieving. They were willing to live and work around each other, to probably see each other every day, feeling what they had to be but never be allowed to act on it?
Topher knew he should be gratified, because he was about to get everything he ever could’ve wanted. He had Dominic, and he had a place he could stay forever, safe.
But all he could think was that it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair for any of them.
With both hands he reached out, squeezing Dominic’s fingers. “But you still love her.”
“We talked about this,” Dominic said, frowning. “It isn’t worth-”
“I don’t believe you.” Topher pulled his hands away. He crossed arms tightly over his chest, drawing up his shoulders and tucking his chin in.
“Topher…” Dominic sighed.
DeWitt remained silent but she watched Topher intently. Her face was guarded, unreadable.
“You said before that you didn’t want to hurt me,” Topher said to Dominic. “Well, I don’t want to hurt you, either.”
Dominic was startled. “Hurt me? How?”
“I don’t want to make you choose. I don’t want to make you choose, because I don’t want to make myself choose.” Topher sucked in a breath. “Either I get you all to myself and have to live knowing you’ll spend every day missing her, at least a little, or I have to give up and let you go be with her. I don’t want to have to make that choice.”
“You’re being ridiculous-”
“I don’t want to have to make that choice,” Topher repeated, louder, “so I won’t.”
There was a beat of complete silence. Dominic stared at him.
“What?”
“I won’t choose. You care about both of us. We both care about you.” Topher glanced up at DeWitt who was moving in, a light of understanding on her face. “And as far as I can tell, the two of us don’t hate each other,” he offered meekly, causing her to laugh. “We can make this work.”
“Wait. No.” Dominic shook his head, bewildered. “You’re saying…?”
He looked between Topher and DeWitt. Something in their expressions caused him to get to his feet, alarmed. “Oh, no way!”
“It sounds reasonable to me,” DeWitt said calmly. She sat down next to Topher. “The perfect compromise.”
“You can’t just share me,” Dominic protested, incredulous.
“And why ever not?” Without looking she took Topher’s hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. Topher mentally flailed a little from it. “Or are you just afraid you can’t handle both of us at once?”
“I just…this isn’t how it works.” Dominic sounded almost pleading, overwhelmed. “I can’t have two donors.”
“Why not?” Topher insisted. “Is there some arcane rulebook you’re not sharing with us? Some secret shadowy council that’ll swoop down on you if you bend the rules?”
“I just can’t, okay?” Dominic's head shook again, almost violently. “People don’t just get everything they want all at once. Life doesn’t work that way. There have to be sacrifices.”
“That’s what you’ve always told yourself, isn’t it? That’s how you’ve always lived your life.” DeWitt got to her feet and slinked towards him as he gazed at her helplessly.
Topher rolled onto his stomach, watching the show.
“And now that you’re being offered the chance to reach for two things you want at once, you can’t accept it. Something inside of you rails against the very idea as…avaricious, excessive.”
DeWitt ran her fingers across his hair. Dominic’s eyes darted from her to Topher, as if waiting for an objection. But none came.
“But guess what, Laurence?” She leaned forward, mouth grazing his cheekbones and the shell of his ear. “Sometimes, you really can have your cake and eat it too.”
Even though his legs were still weak Topher climbed out of bed. He came over, and DeWitt shifted to make space for him so he could wrap his arms around Dominic on the other side.
Topher rested his head against Dominic’s neck, nuzzling him.
“I want you,” he murmured. “But I want you to be happy too.”
“I am happy with you, Topher,” Dominic insisted.
“Okay.” Topher hugged him even tighter, as DeWitt continued to caress the side of Dominic’s face. “Then I want you to be even happier.”
For a moment Dominic seemed utterly incapable of speech.
“Christ almighty,” he said at length. “This is really happening, isn’t it?”
DeWitt smirked. “Yes,” she observed. “I do believe it is.”
*
Later that night Topher watched as Dominic and DeWitt kissed each other heavily from where he curled up in his corner of the bed.
The Voice’s last show for this cycle had been half an hour ago. She was still glowing from the high of her performance, raw power seeping out of her skin. Wearing nothing but matching black silk underwear she was almost hypnotic in her glory.
But as amazing as she was to look at, Dominic was more than a match. The low lights of the room reflected off his skin, outlining every hard ridge of his naked torso.
The muscles of his back rippled as he pressed himself against her on top of her. Gasping, she seized him firmly by the shoulders, pushing his head down. Dominic let her, his lips already parted as he opened his mouth.
He sank his fangs into the creamy whiteness of her skin high on the inside of her thigh. His eyes closed in ecstasy as he applied himself to her audibly, drinking her in.
DeWitt keened and moaned, coming undone even as she clenched her teeth in satisfaction, one hand curling across his scalp, knuckles tightening in his hair.
Topher was barely breathing by the time Dominic was finished. And all he’d done was bear witness. So far.
The ‘sucker lifted his head up, fangs bared, gasping, the rush manifesting as if he’d run a marathon. DeWitt sank back into the crumpled bedspread, boneless.
Topher scrambled forward. He wanted it, he wanted it bad.
“My turn,” he said pleadingly.
“Just give me a moment.” Dominic shook his head, dazedly. “Just one second.”
DeWitt crawled backwards out of their way, pulling a pillow beneath her head so she could watch from under half-lidded eyes.
Topher yanked his nightshirt to the side, exposing one shoulder. “Now,” he ordered in a husky voice.
Dominic’s hands wrapped tightly around Topher’s waist as he bit him, teeth going in at the space right between neck and collarbone.
Topher made a soft sound as his eyes closed, feeling himself soaring away.
When he came back he was curled on his side in the soft sheets. His neck tingled faintly where his blood had left him. Dominic had moved away, just out of arm’s reach.
Topher giggled faintly at the sight of Dominic’s limbs gone completely limp, his head lolling on his neck.
He moaned, back arcing, his whole body gradually undulating like he couldn’t control it.
“God,” Dominic panted. His eyes were like ice and his gaze was glassy, unfocused. He chuckled weakly. “The two of you are going to kill me. It’s too much.”
“But what a way to go,” Topher offered.
From her place enthroned far back among the cushions, DeWitt just laughed. With her foot she brushed against Dominic’s leg.
When Topher lay down to go to sleep, DeWitt kissed him on the forehead before leaning over him to kiss Dominic as well.
Topher rested his head on top of her breast, feeling her fingers run through his hair. He could feel Dominic right behind him, body molded against Topher’s in a protective line.
Topher’s eyelids lowered heavily, blinking as he drifted off to sleep.
The last thing he saw out of the corner of his eye was DeWitt and Dominic’s free hands reaching for each other around where he was nestled between them, their fingers intertwined.
*
If anyone had been paying attention, they might’ve noticed the way the encryption on feed broadcasts coming out of the Orphanarium increased dramatically in efficiency and security over the next couple of months.
What everyone did notice for certain, though, was that the Voice had changed her act.
She had altered the setup of her stage again. Once more she was on the same level as her band, just like in the old days.
A few sharp-eyed fans noticed too that her new guitarist looked familiar. Some fevered chat sessions and comparisons of old recordings made it clear: it was the same man she’d once had beside her, back again.
Where had he gone, the commentators mused? Why had he come back?
No one knew. But then, no one really cared. The Orphanarium was famous for the Voice and her power and majesty, not the musicians lucky enough to stand around her. They were just decoration. Even the devotees never bothered to learn their names.
Of greater interest to the Voice’s many followers was the other return at around the same time. The long-neglected song “Darling” had found its way into the set again, once more exalted from the stage with soaring vocals to millions of eager ears worldwide.
They sighed and swooned as they listened, and swore she’d never sung it better.
Not long after that, a brand new song was added to the retinue. It was called “Sweetheart”, and it tended to be performed in shows alongside “Darling”. As if the two were meant to be a set.
Stylistically the two tunes had next to nothing in common. It gave the fans something else to muse over, idly, in between listening to her recordings and pushing the ‘play’ command to listen to them again.
But “Sweetheart” presented something for the more analytical fans to sink their teeth into; the ones who spent hours parsing apart and discussing every hidden meaning behind every harmony and word.
They claimed the song, if you really listened to the lyrics, was in fact about a love affair between two men. Speculation raged in this corner of the following over why the Voice would choose such a topic to compose on.
To the majority of the masses it couldn’t have mattered less. They didn’t care who or what her songs might be about.
They still came from miles around to hear.
*
Topher was woken by shouting.
He crawled out of his blankets. Members of the Revolution ran every which way gathering supplies, waking their compatriots and loading weapons.
Near the center of the chaos stood Caroline and Paul, conferring. Paul had a pair of long-range binoculars pressed to his eyes.
“Could be rangers,” Caroline was saying. “Odds are a thousand to one, but they might’ve spotted us on a random patrol sweep.”
“No,” Paul disagreed. “Formation’s too tight. These are military drones. Top of the line and armed.” He handed the binoculars off to her and she looked for herself. “And there’s nothing random about it. They’re headed straight towards us.”
Caroline let her arm drop. “They know where we are.”
They turned and spotted Topher at the same time. He braced himself, seeing it in their faces as both reached the same conclusion.
Caroline stormed toward him first, Paul quickly dogging her footsteps. She grabbed hold of Topher by the forearms.
“There’s no way they could’ve just found out about us. Not after we’ve been successfully hiding for years,” Caroline said through clenched teeth. “Somebody had to have told them. What did you do?”
Topher swallowed dryly, forcing himself to meet Caroline in the eyes.
“The package of data I sent. I made it like you said, but it wasn’t exactly what you asked.”
“What was it then?” Paul demanded.
“In layman’s terms? Nonsense. Gobbledygook. The message is encrypted, but when anyone decodes it, they’re not going to find bomb plans or detonation grids. They’re going to find fragments - meaningless.”
Caroline shoved him away, livid and disgusted.
Topher continued, “And I didn’t exactly hide the stream, either. It’s on a quiet back channel - but I programmed in a little set of code with an ulterior purpose. Once it hit the feed, that code turned into a beacon. A loud, shrieking one, aimed right toward getting the attention of Central. One saying ‘I’m here, come and get me’.”
“You sent them our coordinates.” Paul was dumbfounded. “What the hell is wrong with you? They’re on their way here right now. Some of these people could die, escaping!”
“You were trying to blow people up!” Topher shot back. He waved his hands. “Don’t get me wrong, I understand what you’re trying to do, really I do. More than I ever thought I could have.”
Topher breathed out, feeling drained. “But I just…can’t…be a part of this. Not like that. Not ever.”
Paul looked like he was restraining himself, and only through the greatest of effort. He turned to Caroline.
“What do we do with him?”
“Forget him,” Caroline spat. “We’ve got some seriously bigger troubles right now. We need to break camp, get the hell out of here. Try and fight them off somehow.”
She shot Topher a glare full of hostility and derision.
“Leave him to his own devices. He doesn’t stand any better a chance of getting out of here than the rest of us - and the Feds aren’t gonna care that he was the whistleblower, if they catch him. One terrorist looks like another.” Darkly, Caroline summed up, “He gets the same reward.”
With that she spun, heading off to rally her troops, Paul close by her side. Neither one of them looked back.
Topher ran, into the confusion. What else could he do? He thought maybe if he snuck off into the trees while everyone else was trying to make a stand, he might get out undetected.
He didn’t stop to think that maybe not all of the Revolutionaries would be as purpose-driven as Paul and Caroline.
Topher’s instincts kicked in at just the right time. He ducked and, by sheer luck, avoided the knife that sliced in an arc through where his head had been.
Topher turned around, fear lodged in his throat. He knew who it was.
Alpha sneered at him. He had a knife in each hand. They were under attack, everyone else was trying to get out of there, but Alpha was in no hurry. He had eyes only for Topher. He looked murderous, and disturbingly eager.
“Sniveling little turncoat,” Alpha goaded. “Did you really think I was just gonna let you walk away?”
Topher took a step back, trembling. Even knowing it’d do no good he lifted his hands in a gesture of surrender.
“Please don’t…please don’t hurt me…”
“Hurt you? Oh, such a pithy understatement for what I’m about to do.” Alpha actually laughed. Terror balled up in Topher’s chest. Alpha raised both his arms.
“Scrawny puny hacker, skinny as a rake,” he began in singsong, “Look at him shiver; look at him shake.”
Grinning, he stepped toward Topher. “How many pieces does he make? One-”
But Alpha didn’t make it past that number. He crumbled to the ground as someone behind him slammed a heavy piece of wood into the side of his skull. Alpha dropped, the knives falling from his hands.
Dominic loomed in the space where Alpha had been, dressed in dark layers, a familiar focused expression on his face.
Topher blinked, convinced that his eyes were fooling him.
“Come on,” Dominic said shortly - exactly the voice Topher remembered. He grabbed Topher’s coat by the sleeve and pulled. “Let’s get out of here.”
They ran. All around them were whistles, explosions in the dirt as drones and Revolutionaries fired at each other. People were in all directions, shouting, and they had to weave around and through them. In the commotion Topher doubted the others even noticed there was a ‘sucker there.
Dominic dragged him from the campsite, Topher doing the best he could to keep up on stumbling feet.
He was caught in the moment, all shock and fright and adrenaline, but still in his mind an astonished voice cried, Dominic is here! Dominic came to save me!
It felt like hours later when Topher finally could run no more, his muscles throbbing, his lungs heaving. He stopped, hands on his knees as he caught his breath, and Dominic let him. That’s how Topher knew they must be safe: he never would’ve been allowed the pause otherwise.
When Topher looked up again he could see they were outside the forest, hidden in a deep weed-lined ditch in the rolling terrain where it would be difficult for anyone to spot them.
But Topher hardly noticed what was around him. All he could look at was Dominic.
Dominic stared back at him with the same hard features and form Topher remembered, tall, broad-shouldered, all muscle underneath his duster. Even in the dimness his eyes were dark, hungry, and Topher realized he must’ve come a long way.
Topher thought about how he must’ve looked: starved, unwashed, in filthy mismatched clothing with stubble and uncombed hair and circles under his eyes. He tried not to shrink down, self-conscious.
Dominic’s voice was soft when he spoke but intense: “You alright?” All Topher could do was nod.
Apparently that wasn’t reassurance enough because Dominic started to check him over, frowning, eyeing him sharply for any wound.
His hands touched Topher’s body; that same cool steadiness, that same touch he had achingly tried not to think of as he lay awake those nights on the ground. Topher’s pulse fluttered.
It was quiet now. They were far away from the camp, from the Revolution, from the fighting, so that already it all seemed a distant memory. It was easy to feel like there was nothing in the whole world but him and Dominic.
Topher managed to speak. “How…how did you…?”
“As soon as the signal hit the feed, I knew it had to be your doing,” Dominic explained. “I realized you must’ve gone off with the Revolution to their hideout when you disappeared all those months ago.”
“But you came to get me. Why?”
“With the Feds on the way, I knew you’d be in trouble. Again. I didn’t have much time, so I took off right away.”
He smiled faintly at Topher. “Luckily, I had good directions.”
All Topher could do was gape, knowing he must look stupid but unable to speak.
He had missed Dominic - he had tried not to think about him, but he missed him, all the same. And yet somehow he’d forgotten, in a way where he felt awestruck now as he saw him again, just how amazing he was.
“Thank you,” Topher said at length. His voice was a murmur but he was practically gushing with gratitude. Dominic’s smile faded at the sound.
“It was nothing,” he said gruffly, looking discomfited.
“Nothing? You rescued me. You rescued me again!” Without meaning to Topher reached for him, and then noticed what he was doing and yanked his hand back, awkward. “I know I must not be exactly your favorite person, but you keep doing that. So, thank you.”
Dominic had his eyes shut, grimacing. “Topher…”
“Can’t you just let me express my gratefulness properly? The whole ‘It was nothing, citizen’ routine is kind of a letdown. I’m not about to compose epic poetry to you or anything. I just wanna say two simple words: thank-”
“Topher!” Dominic cut him off with practically a shout. Topher fell silent; they both seemed surprised by how loud his voice had been.
Dominic recovered first, jaw moving in a funny way like it was hard to get the words out. “I wanted to tell you I’m sorry.”
“You’re…sorry? For what? You didn’t-”
“I’m sorry that I lied to you.” The words rushed out in an angry mutter.
Topher stared at him. “What?”
“Back when we first met. You asked me if I was honest with you.” Dominic sighed. “I had been until that point but…after. I lied about something else.”
Topher hugged himself without realizing it. “What did you lie to me about?”
Dominic drew a steadying breath. He looked guilty. “When you told me you had feelings for me, and I said that you weren’t my type…well, that’s true, but the way I said it - the impression I probably gave - I might have been trying to mislead you.”
It took Topher almost a full minute to get the unspoken sentence there:
Into thinking I didn’t feel anything for you back.
Topher stared yet again, dumbfounded.
“You…” he began slowly, feeling like he was pulling words out of molasses. “You…jerk!” He smacked Dominic in the arm, hard as he could.
“Ow!” Dominic flinched, taken aback. “Hey!”
“You bastard! You slimy, bloodsucking, creepy bastard creep! I’m so ticked off I can’t even think of any good names to call you!”
Topher socked him a few more times, not so much throwing punches as halfheartedly flailing. Dominic caught his wrists and held him off, bemused.
Topher could feel his face heating up. He felt so angry and foolish.
“How could you?” He yanked out of Dominic’s grasp and started scrubbing the cuff of his sleeve against his face even though there was nothing to wipe off. “You knew how I felt, it took just about everything I had out of me to be able to say it in the first place, and then you went and gave me the brush-off like I was-”
“I said I was sorry, Topher. I really am,” Dominic told him, shamefaced. “That wasn’t exactly my most brilliant moment.”
“No kidding!”
“Would you calm down and let me explain?”
“Explain what?” Topher demanded hotly. “About how you hurt me into running away and almost getting myself killed by crazy terrorists and army drones and, and nature, all because I thought that you couldn’t possibly feel anything about me and it was pointless to hang around, when it turns out all along that you-”
Topher stopped. His anger cooled in a sudden instant as everything clicked and overwhelmed astonishment took its place.
“You…you like me back?” He stared into Dominic’s face, searching for any hint of a joke or another misunderstanding. “Me? Really?”
“Okay, would you stop it? You’re acting like a twelve year old girl.”
But Dominic was smirking, faintly, in a wry self-depreciative way as he said it.
Topher felt light-headed. His stomach was doing that weird twisty thing. He had to be dreaming, only this was better and more amazing than any dream, any virtu-sim, anything.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked. “Why didn’t you just…?”
“Because I didn’t want…look, when I said you weren’t my type, I meant it, because you’re really not my type. In just about every possible way.” Dominic gave an odd laugh. “From the moment I met you, you were getting on my nerves. I’ve never known anyone who could just irritate me the way you do. But I started to realize - I don’t know, it’s as if I liked being irritated by you or something. Even while I was annoyed, I felt better around you than I did around anyone else.
“I tried to brush it off, but then, after I fed on you…”
Dominic trailed off, something coming over him. He seemed almost in pain as he was lost in the memory - except it wasn’t quite pain.
And Topher understood, because he remembered what Dominic had told him: how for a ‘sucker feeding on the blood of someone they were connected to, as their donor, tasted and felt better than it did with anyone else.
Topher took in his expression, and felt an incredulous shiver at the thought he could do that to someone like Dominic.
“You fed on me twice. Why didn’t you say something then?”
Dominic shook his head. “I didn’t want another donor. Not after…the last time.” He clenched his hands. “I didn’t want to go through that again, and I didn’t want you getting hurt either.”
“Me?” Topher exclaimed.
“I said I cared about you, didn’t I? And, well, you’re kind of…fragile.”
Dominic’s voice softened at the last word. Topher didn’t think he meant it as an insult. He didn’t think he meant “weak”. Something about how he said it, it was more like…valuable. Treasured.
Like Dominic thought Topher was something worth more than him, something that needed to be protected. Even if it meant staying away.
“You make me feel safe,” Topher told him, because he didn’t know what else to say. “And not just because you’ve saved my life what has to be, what, half a dozen times by now. It’s something about you. You’re scary, but you’re guard-dog scary, like you’re keeping all the bad stuff away.”
Topher stepped towards him. “I like feeling safe, and just having you around me, it’s like all the doubt is gone, and the uncertainty, and I don’t have to worry anymore. All I have to do is look at you, and I feel like everything is going to be okay. Always.”
“Except it isn’t, because it’s not okay, because that’s not how life works,” Dominic returned sharply.
“I know that, but, it’s just how I feel. I like that feeling. I…it makes me happy. You make me happy. How can that be a bad thing?”
“I thought it was a crush, okay? Just a passing infatuation for both of us, and if we just backed off each other and gave it time, it would go away.” Dominic sighed once more. “I would’ve preferred it to go away. Easy. I thought it would be better for the both of us, so I tried cutting it off in its tracks.”
He gestured suddenly: “I didn’t think you’d do something so stupid as run off and join the Revolution! Seriously, what were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t thinking. That was kind of the point. I didn’t want to think anymore, about how I, you know, offered myself to you and you didn’t want me.” He didn’t even feel all that melodramatic as he said: “It was kind of killing me.”
“I’m not that great, Topher. Really I’m not. I think you’re just impressed by me because you haven’t met a lot of people.”
Topher adamantly shook his head. Dominic ran a hand across his own face.
“Anyway, you can never be sure about this whole connection thing,” he muttered. “I’ll admit I’ve always been a little wary: about whether or not you really feel this way, or if it’s just some kind of reaction to whatever it is my body does when I sink my fangs in. What it is that really brings ‘suckers and donors together. Maybe it’s not…us. Maybe it’s just chemicals.”
“I already was attracted to you before you ever bit me,” Topher informed him. “Besides, that’s a wasted argument. So what if it’s chemicals? There’s chemistry, and biology, and evolutionary psychology behind every physical attraction that people ever have.”
“Topher-”
But even as Dominic said it he was starting to smile, a fondness lighting his face.
“We like people’s faces because they’re symmetrical.” Topher ticked off his fingers. “We like curves…well, on women…because they symbolize reproductive health. Big eyes and rosy cheeks make us think of youth. And don’t even get me started on pheromones!”
Dominic kissed him. Topher was caught by surprise, but he quickly reciprocated.
After a moment they separated, looking at each other with matching, slightly flustered expressions.
“You’re a lot better at that than I was expecting.” Dominic’s voice was breathless, ragged.
“I thought the fangs would be more of a problem,” Topher said in a similar fashion. “But they didn’t get in the way at all.”
There was a beat, and then they went for each other again.
This time there wasn’t just kissing: there was touching, fondling, even a little groping. Topher was okay with that. He liked it a lot, actually.
He realized Dominic was trying to steer him to the ground, and he liked that idea a lot, too.
Topher clung to Dominic, a hand tracing his bicep. Something triggered his memory: his eyes fell open and he saw Adelle DeWitt’s first name written into the other man’s skin.
A prickle of guilt struck, strong enough that as much as Topher wanted he couldn’t just let it be. He pushed Dominic off with a sound of regret.
“Wait, wait. Hang on. There’s something I should probably tell you.”
“What, right now? Really?” Dominic looked at him like he wasn’t sure whether to laugh or get severely pissed. Topher cringed.
“It’s…don’t be mad, okay? I just think that you should know. Remember the last night before I left? Remember how I went to see the Voice, and then I wouldn’t tell you what happened?”
Dominic blinked. And then, he chuckled.
“I know about you and Adelle, Topher. Is that what’s bothering you so much?”
Topher stared at him for a beat. “Huh? How did…when did you-?”
“From the moment I saw you, after. I could smell her on you. I knew right away that the two of you had been together.”
Topher was tempted to start hitting Dominic and calling him a jerk again. “I thought… you acted like you didn’t know!”
“I guess I wanted to mess with you a little,” Dominic confessed. “See if you got guilty enough to cop to it on your own.”
“Why are you so cruel? But, wait,” Topher blinked, genuinely confused; “You’re not, you aren’t jealous? I mean, I know the two of you aren’t really together anymore…”
“It’s weird, actually. You’d think I would be.” Dominic grimaced. “Maybe it’s just that if I had been jealous, I would’ve had to try and tangle out which one of you I was jealous of.”
“…Oh.” After a moment’s consideration Topher thought of something.
“Dominic? The whole time I was gone…you haven’t been avoiding her.” It was a statement, not a question. “Have you.”
Dominic looked guilty again. “No,” he told Topher, voice low. “I haven’t.”
“And you haven’t just been feeding on her.”
Dominic gave him a disbelieving look. Topher supposed it was a dumb question. He laced his hands over his knees.
After a pause Dominic went, hesitant, “Are you jealous?”
“No,” Topher realized, shaking his head. Whatever was between DeWitt and Dominic, it had been there long before Topher came along. It predated him.
Besides it was pointless, being jealous of a musical goddess made flesh.
Dominic knelt down, reaching for his face. Topher’s first thought was that there was something to brush away there, dirt or the like, but then he realized Dominic was just touching him; gently using his fingers to caress the side of Topher’s cheek and chin. All the while Dominic gazed at him raptly.
Topher couldn’t take it. He pushed Dominic’s hand away. “What happened between you and her?”
“Oh my god, Topher, would you just let it go?” Dominic rolled away from him, dropping to the ground heavily on his back. “How many times do I have to tell you it doesn’t matter anymore?”
“I want to know,” Topher insisted. “If it left you so scared of commitment you thought you never, ever wanted a donor again, I think I kinda deserve to.”
“Touché,” Dominic grunted. He stared up at the hazy night sky. “The sad thing is it’s not even a very exciting story. I came to the Orphanarium not really looking for anything, just an easier meal ticket and a place to stay. I’d been wandering ever since the change and I was sick of it. I thought it’d be nice to have a roof over my head for awhile.”
“So what changed?”
“I met her,” Dominic said, like that was the only explanation needed. But Topher supposed that it was. “She was…different. The first thing I’d been interested in a very long time. I heard she needed a guitarist, so I applied for the job.”
Topher ran weeds between his knuckles. “You already knew how to play?” He couldn’t remember ever meeting anyone who knew how to use a musical instrument. It took more focus and attention than most were willing to give.
“You know those lesson sims everyone downloads when they’re still in school and trying to fill up their downtime? ‘Learn to Bodysurf in Five Easy Steps’, things like that.”
“Sure.” Topher had done ones for horseback-riding, pastry-making, rollerblading, speaking Italian, the works. But like everyone else he’d grow bored after only a few sessions and nothing would ever stick.
“Well, I did the ones for guitar.” Dominic scowled. “Only unlike everyone else in my age group, I actually finished the damn thing. And cared about what I was learning.”
“That’s really cool,” Topher said softly. He meant it, too.
He wondered if he wanted to he could learn something like that. Except for virtu-sims and stuff on the feed, no one really had hobbies anymore.
“Anyway. I joined her band, I backed her up. And then after only a little while, I guess we just…fell into each other. Drawn to each other, you might say.”
Topher understood that perfectly; he was currently resisting the urge to tangle his fingers up in Dominic’s hair, afraid it might interrupt his story.
“She became my donor, I became her…hers.” Dominic’s mouth twitched in something that was almost, briefly, a smile. “And it worked, for three years. Until it didn’t.”
“Because?” Topher prompted, unrelenting.
“I couldn’t be at the Orphanarium anymore. I just…couldn’t. There’s a method to it, but it’s not making the world any better. It’s helping people to escape from it. Only Adelle thinks that’s what people need; an escape. I couldn’t stand being a part of it anymore, and our different views broke us apart.”
Dominic sneered. “She’s right, you know. I probably was going to walk away from her eventually. It was inevitable. But it doesn’t change the fact that she pushed me out first, and it was a slap in the face when she did.”
“But you love her. You guys are still in love with each other,” Topher protested, not getting it. “I know you are. I can see it.”
Dominic sat up, looking at him.
“You’re right; I do still have feelings for her. I probably always will.” He exhaled, sounding defeated: “But it hurts to be around her.”
Dominic shook his head, wearily. “It’s over. It has to be. I just can’t do that anymore.”
Without warning he was leaning into Topher’s space again, thumb brushing the side of his throat. Topher had to remind himself to breathe.
“Like you said. I’d rather be with someone who makes me feel happy.”
Topher felt unbelievably giddy. “I make you happy?” he managed to joke. “I thought you said I drove you crazy.”
Dominic chuckled. “Well, maybe it’s a good kind of crazy,” he murmured. He moved in.
Topher struggled to focus through his own arousal as Dominic kept pushing him back further and further, trailing all over the side of Topher’s neck with his mouth, teasing as he did everything but bite.
The enthralling coolness of his grip was strong and steady on Topher’s body; he couldn’t have broken free if he tried. Not that Topher wanted to go anywhere but exactly where he was.
“Just so we’ve got this straight,” Topher managed. “I don’t want there to be any more misunderstandings between us. Let me make sure I’ve got this perfectly clear.”
Dominic paused to speak in between deliberately licking the space just beneath Topher’s jaw with the flat of his tongue. “Go on.”
Topher swallowed. “You want to take me on as your donor,” he said hoarsely.
“Yes,” Dominic agreed. He never stopped touching or tasting him all the while. Topher didn’t know what he was going to do if he ever did.
“You want to have a relationship together. A physical, serious relationship.”
“Yes.”
“You want…” To take care of me, Topher wanted desperately to say, but that probably was a bad idea. He got the sense Dominic wouldn’t have wanted that description.
“…to be together forever,” Topher finished instead.
“Nothing lasts forever,” Dominic corrected automatically. “But I promise I’ll stay with you as long as you want me.”
“Forever, then.”
He’d had enough of the teasing - he felt like he was going to tear right out of his own skin. He opened his eyes.
“Hey, um, Dominic?” Topher murmured, pitch rising slightly. “Are you hungry?”
Dominic pulled back, eyes roving purposefully. Something more than just hunger was in his gaze - or more than one kind of hunger, anyway. His voice was low and rough with meaning: “Starved.”
Topher shivered. “Well, go on then.” He bent his head back, baring his neck to him. “Do it. Please.”
Dominic feigned a lack of comprehension. “Do what, Topher?” he prompted, very strongly. The dark blue of his eyes was midnight, drowning. “What do you want me to do? Say it right.”
Was this what Dominic was going to be like in a relationship, Topher thought: precise, dominating, always in control? The idea made him shudder, but not with fear - in fact it was the opposite.
Topher kept his lids open for long enough so he could be looking Dominic in the eye when he said it.
“Take me,” he pleaded.
Dominic grinned wickedly even as he lowered his fangs to the vein in Topher’s throat.
There were plenty of places on the body a ‘sucker could choose to draw from. But the neck, that meant something. Something personal, more intimate even than Dominic’s hands already working to unfasten the buckle on Topher’s pants.
It was Topher’s last coherent thought as he was carried away on a sea of bliss.
*
It wasn’t planned to fall asleep that way in the after, still tangled up together on the ground. It was kind of sloppy, not to mention clichéd.
But Topher had come twice and lost blood from three different places on his body. He figured he could be forgiven for getting drowsy.
When Topher opened his eyes again he wasn’t sure how much time had passed, just that it was still night. His head was pillowed on Dominic’s chest and he had both arms and part of one leg wrapped around him. Dominic’s arm was draped across Topher’s midsection, holding him to his side.
Even as Topher was only just coming to, he heard a stirring sound; Dominic was also waking.
Topher watched him as his eyes opened. His irises were still that paler shade of blue.
Dominic blinked a few times before focusing on him groggily.
“Hi,” Topher said, because even he knew “So that sex we just had was fantastic” was something real people didn’t actually say. Never mind how true it was.
Dominic may have said Topher was “not his type”, but judging from his capabilities, he had clearly been in this kind of situation before. Topher hadn’t any previous experience of this particular set, but he liked to think he’d made up for it with willingness and enthusiasm.
Dominic smiled faintly. “Hey.”
They gazed at each other sleepily for a moment, neither making an attempt to move.
Dominic cleared his throat, shifting slightly.
“So, you’re kind of a clinger,” he noted with some good-natured mockery, indicating their positions. Specifically, how while they were unconscious Topher’s body had apparently decided to try and climb Dominic’s like a wall.
“Yeah,” Topher said, slightly embarrassed. He tilted his chin towards where Dominic’s arm was curled around him protectively. “But you seem to be kind of a cuddler, though, so I think it all works out.”
Dominic chortled softly. “Guess so.”
Topher knew they should probably get up but he didn’t want to. He waited for Dominic to say something but he didn’t, so he laid his head back down and closed his eyes.
After a minute he felt Dominic’s hand move lazily, rubbing his shoulders and the nape of his neck.
Topher couldn’t remember ever feeling so safe and comfortable in any place before. He was somewhere between awake and fully asleep, feeling the stickiness of his skin against Dominic’s where their bodies pressed together.
He wanted to stay there forever, never mind the fact they were naked in a field and it was probably going to start raining polluted water on them any minute. He didn’t care. He was happy.
It was cool outside and Dominic’s skin was clammy beneath him, but Topher didn’t feel cold. In fact, he felt warm. He was light-headed and sore in a few new and different places, but he didn’t mind because it felt like a reassurance, a reminder of what had just happened - and a promise that it would happen again.
Topher lay there oblivious to the wind moving across his skin, the dirt he was lying on. Dominic’s heart was beneath his ear and he listened to its slow, soothing rhythm as it beat.
*
“Come on, sleepy-head. Time to get up.” Dominic had somehow gotten out from under him and redressed.
Topher lay flat on his back, blinking dimly. He hadn’t realized he’d fallen back asleep.
Dominic tugged at his arm. “Aww,” Topher complained.
“We have to get moving. Only a few hours until the sun’s coming up. I found a natural shelter we can hide in, but we gotta be quick.”
Topher yielded to Dominic’s admittedly very practical desire not to be immolated. With only minor grousing he climbed to his feet and pulled on his clothes.
They started walking.
Topher hadn’t realized how tired he was, but even after all that sleep he still felt exhausted. It was a struggle for him to match Dominic’s grueling pace. He kept blinking his eyes, willing himself to stay awake.
He didn’t think he should be so tired. But it’d been awhile since he’d had really athletic sex; maybe he was just out of shape.
His throat was dry but he didn’t want to ask for water until they got there. His stomach hurt too, in a sick queasy way.
After a little while Topher noticed he was shivering.
That doesn’t make any sense, he thought. I don’t feel cold.
He still felt warm. In fact, he felt really hot.
“Dominic?”
The other man turned back to him with a look of impatience.
That look faded quickly as soon as he saw Topher. “Are you okay?” Dominic started to move toward him in alarm.
“No. I don’t think I feel so good…”
Topher didn’t finish his feeble sentence. As he spoke he took a step forward, and it turned out to be one step too many.
His head spun dizzily and his vision went all blurry. The heat overwhelmed him.
He saw the ground rushing up at him. And then, blackness.
*
Everything came and went in a haze. Topher was distantly aware of hands, voices, movement, but nothing else.
He had a sense that he was swimming in and out of consciousness, but he could never remember what he saw or did there, if anything, before he sank back down.
Topher had no way of knowing how long it’d been when he finally woke up.
His lids were heavy as he pried them open. He thought he heard someone speaking, whispering and far away. There was the wipe of a cool damp cloth across his forehead.
Topher tried to speak but could only manage a groan, tongue stuck thickly to the roof of his mouth.
“There. You see? I think he’s waking.”
Topher knew that voice. How did he know that voice? He tried to remember.
“Topher? Can you hear me?”
That one was harsher, more frantic. Dominic.
Topher opened his eyes and tried to focus, looking for him. “Dominic?” He sat up, or attempted to. “Where am I?” he said slowly. “What happened?”
“Shhh. Don’t try to get up just yet, sweetheart. You’ve been very ill.”
That voice…no, not just a voice. The Voice.
Topher’s eyes flew wide in surprise. Adelle DeWitt was sitting beside him, a bowl of water in her lap. It was incongruous with the rest of her appearance because she must’ve just finished a show: clad in dark curve-hugging fabrics, her hair long and flowing and her eyes framed in electric blue.
In spite of her command Topher struggled to sit. He was in DeWitt’s bed, he realized, the covers tucked around him and wearing pajamas he didn’t recognize. The lights were dim.
Dominic stood off to the side, arms crossed. He watched Topher intently, his brow creased with lines of concern.
“Dominic,” Topher said again, choking on relief. He raised a hand toward him.
Dominic walked over and sat on the bedside. DeWitt got up, moving away.
“You scared me,” Dominic said in a gruff, accusatory tone.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t…what happened?” Topher wrinkled his eyes. “I don’t remember.”
“We were walking to shelter and you passed out. When I tried to wake you up I couldn’t, and I realized you were burning up.”
“You were very sick, for not being aware of it,” DeWitt called from where she hung back. A wry smile graced her lips as she added, “Although I’m sure all your exertions of the night previous didn’t help.”
Topher flushed as he realized Dominic must’ve filled her in. Distractedly, he thought she seemed to be taking it in stride.
“The fever.” Topher remembered watching it devastate the camp. “A sickness broke out among the Revolutionaries, right before you came for me. I must’ve caught it.”
“Luckily, we have medical resources that the likes of the Revolution do not. Some enhanced fluids, some antibiotics, and you’re as right as rain.” DeWitt drifted closer but not too close. “It’s a good thing Laurence managed to bring you back here. He’s been lurking over your bedside ever since.”
“I couldn’t think of where else to go,” Dominic muttered.
“It’s okay.” Topher put his hand on top of Dominic’s where it rested on the bedspread. “I don’t mind.”
Dominic gazed at him. His relief was palpable. His fingers molded themselves around Topher’s, holding his hand.
With forced sarcasm, he went, “So, this makes twice you’ve fainted on me. If this passing out after I’ve fed on you is gonna be a habit of yours, I’m going to have to reconsider this.”
“It’s not, I promise,” Topher said, a little too indignant. Dominic chortled.
DeWitt was watching them. Dominic had his back to her so he couldn’t see her face, but Topher could. She was smiling but it was noticeably bittersweet.
Topher tried to imagine what she was thinking. The fact they were even there meant she must’ve held no grudge against them, but he doubted she felt nothing. How could she, watching the man she’d cared for worry over and embrace another?
Topher remembered what he’d seen the night he’d walked in on them. The rapture from just being around one another. The longing DeWitt had expressed. He didn’t think all of that had just gone away.
When DeWitt was Dominic’s donor, he had fed on her so often he’d been able to pass for human. To say they had a connection was an almost laughable understatement.
They both still had feelings toward one another, even now. They had to. Just because DeWitt didn’t use bitterness and anger to mask hers like Dominic, didn’t mean she wasn’t hurting like he was.
Yet DeWitt had helped save Topher, her replacement. She didn’t have to offer her assistance, but she had.
The Voice noticed Topher watching her and, to his astonishment, she broke his gaze and looked away.
Dominic cupped Topher’s face in his hands, successfully getting his attention back. Topher swallowed to clear his throat.
“So what happens now?”
DeWitt spoke unexpectedly, “We’ve already been discussing that during your convalescence, actually. If you’re still interested in working for me and helping with our virtual security, then I’d be more than happy to have you.”
Topher’s pulse fluttered with confusion. “Just me, or…?”
DeWitt gave a smile that was clearly forced. “Both of you, of course. I wouldn’t be as cruel and impractical as to try and separate a vampire from his chosen mate.”
There was no malice in the words, but Topher flinched anyway.
“It’d be safe here,” Dominic offered. He still was only looking at Topher, for all purposes ignoring the woman behind him. “I know I said I left here before because I couldn’t stand it, but…given the alternatives, there are worse things. I wouldn’t go crazy from it,” he reassured him.
Topher looked between DeWitt and Dominic. They were making it sound like it was his choice completely. Like the only one who might have issue was him.
“But what about you two?” he asked. “You don’t mind-?”
“As I said,” DeWitt’s voice was flat, toneless, “we have already discussed it.”
Dominic didn’t say anything, but gave an almost imperceptible nod.
So that’s it? Topher thought, disbelieving. They were willing to live and work around each other, to probably see each other every day, feeling what they had to be but never be allowed to act on it?
Topher knew he should be gratified, because he was about to get everything he ever could’ve wanted. He had Dominic, and he had a place he could stay forever, safe.
But all he could think was that it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair for any of them.
With both hands he reached out, squeezing Dominic’s fingers. “But you still love her.”
“We talked about this,” Dominic said, frowning. “It isn’t worth-”
“I don’t believe you.” Topher pulled his hands away. He crossed arms tightly over his chest, drawing up his shoulders and tucking his chin in.
“Topher…” Dominic sighed.
DeWitt remained silent but she watched Topher intently. Her face was guarded, unreadable.
“You said before that you didn’t want to hurt me,” Topher said to Dominic. “Well, I don’t want to hurt you, either.”
Dominic was startled. “Hurt me? How?”
“I don’t want to make you choose. I don’t want to make you choose, because I don’t want to make myself choose.” Topher sucked in a breath. “Either I get you all to myself and have to live knowing you’ll spend every day missing her, at least a little, or I have to give up and let you go be with her. I don’t want to have to make that choice.”
“You’re being ridiculous-”
“I don’t want to have to make that choice,” Topher repeated, louder, “so I won’t.”
There was a beat of complete silence. Dominic stared at him.
“What?”
“I won’t choose. You care about both of us. We both care about you.” Topher glanced up at DeWitt who was moving in, a light of understanding on her face. “And as far as I can tell, the two of us don’t hate each other,” he offered meekly, causing her to laugh. “We can make this work.”
“Wait. No.” Dominic shook his head, bewildered. “You’re saying…?”
He looked between Topher and DeWitt. Something in their expressions caused him to get to his feet, alarmed. “Oh, no way!”
“It sounds reasonable to me,” DeWitt said calmly. She sat down next to Topher. “The perfect compromise.”
“You can’t just share me,” Dominic protested, incredulous.
“And why ever not?” Without looking she took Topher’s hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. Topher mentally flailed a little from it. “Or are you just afraid you can’t handle both of us at once?”
“I just…this isn’t how it works.” Dominic sounded almost pleading, overwhelmed. “I can’t have two donors.”
“Why not?” Topher insisted. “Is there some arcane rulebook you’re not sharing with us? Some secret shadowy council that’ll swoop down on you if you bend the rules?”
“I just can’t, okay?” Dominic's head shook again, almost violently. “People don’t just get everything they want all at once. Life doesn’t work that way. There have to be sacrifices.”
“That’s what you’ve always told yourself, isn’t it? That’s how you’ve always lived your life.” DeWitt got to her feet and slinked towards him as he gazed at her helplessly.
Topher rolled onto his stomach, watching the show.
“And now that you’re being offered the chance to reach for two things you want at once, you can’t accept it. Something inside of you rails against the very idea as…avaricious, excessive.”
DeWitt ran her fingers across his hair. Dominic’s eyes darted from her to Topher, as if waiting for an objection. But none came.
“But guess what, Laurence?” She leaned forward, mouth grazing his cheekbones and the shell of his ear. “Sometimes, you really can have your cake and eat it too.”
Even though his legs were still weak Topher climbed out of bed. He came over, and DeWitt shifted to make space for him so he could wrap his arms around Dominic on the other side.
Topher rested his head against Dominic’s neck, nuzzling him.
“I want you,” he murmured. “But I want you to be happy too.”
“I am happy with you, Topher,” Dominic insisted.
“Okay.” Topher hugged him even tighter, as DeWitt continued to caress the side of Dominic’s face. “Then I want you to be even happier.”
For a moment Dominic seemed utterly incapable of speech.
“Christ almighty,” he said at length. “This is really happening, isn’t it?”
DeWitt smirked. “Yes,” she observed. “I do believe it is.”
*
Later that night Topher watched as Dominic and DeWitt kissed each other heavily from where he curled up in his corner of the bed.
The Voice’s last show for this cycle had been half an hour ago. She was still glowing from the high of her performance, raw power seeping out of her skin. Wearing nothing but matching black silk underwear she was almost hypnotic in her glory.
But as amazing as she was to look at, Dominic was more than a match. The low lights of the room reflected off his skin, outlining every hard ridge of his naked torso.
The muscles of his back rippled as he pressed himself against her on top of her. Gasping, she seized him firmly by the shoulders, pushing his head down. Dominic let her, his lips already parted as he opened his mouth.
He sank his fangs into the creamy whiteness of her skin high on the inside of her thigh. His eyes closed in ecstasy as he applied himself to her audibly, drinking her in.
DeWitt keened and moaned, coming undone even as she clenched her teeth in satisfaction, one hand curling across his scalp, knuckles tightening in his hair.
Topher was barely breathing by the time Dominic was finished. And all he’d done was bear witness. So far.
The ‘sucker lifted his head up, fangs bared, gasping, the rush manifesting as if he’d run a marathon. DeWitt sank back into the crumpled bedspread, boneless.
Topher scrambled forward. He wanted it, he wanted it bad.
“My turn,” he said pleadingly.
“Just give me a moment.” Dominic shook his head, dazedly. “Just one second.”
DeWitt crawled backwards out of their way, pulling a pillow beneath her head so she could watch from under half-lidded eyes.
Topher yanked his nightshirt to the side, exposing one shoulder. “Now,” he ordered in a husky voice.
Dominic’s hands wrapped tightly around Topher’s waist as he bit him, teeth going in at the space right between neck and collarbone.
Topher made a soft sound as his eyes closed, feeling himself soaring away.
When he came back he was curled on his side in the soft sheets. His neck tingled faintly where his blood had left him. Dominic had moved away, just out of arm’s reach.
Topher giggled faintly at the sight of Dominic’s limbs gone completely limp, his head lolling on his neck.
He moaned, back arcing, his whole body gradually undulating like he couldn’t control it.
“God,” Dominic panted. His eyes were like ice and his gaze was glassy, unfocused. He chuckled weakly. “The two of you are going to kill me. It’s too much.”
“But what a way to go,” Topher offered.
From her place enthroned far back among the cushions, DeWitt just laughed. With her foot she brushed against Dominic’s leg.
When Topher lay down to go to sleep, DeWitt kissed him on the forehead before leaning over him to kiss Dominic as well.
Topher rested his head on top of her breast, feeling her fingers run through his hair. He could feel Dominic right behind him, body molded against Topher’s in a protective line.
Topher’s eyelids lowered heavily, blinking as he drifted off to sleep.
The last thing he saw out of the corner of his eye was DeWitt and Dominic’s free hands reaching for each other around where he was nestled between them, their fingers intertwined.
*
If anyone had been paying attention, they might’ve noticed the way the encryption on feed broadcasts coming out of the Orphanarium increased dramatically in efficiency and security over the next couple of months.
What everyone did notice for certain, though, was that the Voice had changed her act.
She had altered the setup of her stage again. Once more she was on the same level as her band, just like in the old days.
A few sharp-eyed fans noticed too that her new guitarist looked familiar. Some fevered chat sessions and comparisons of old recordings made it clear: it was the same man she’d once had beside her, back again.
Where had he gone, the commentators mused? Why had he come back?
No one knew. But then, no one really cared. The Orphanarium was famous for the Voice and her power and majesty, not the musicians lucky enough to stand around her. They were just decoration. Even the devotees never bothered to learn their names.
Of greater interest to the Voice’s many followers was the other return at around the same time. The long-neglected song “Darling” had found its way into the set again, once more exalted from the stage with soaring vocals to millions of eager ears worldwide.
They sighed and swooned as they listened, and swore she’d never sung it better.
Not long after that, a brand new song was added to the retinue. It was called “Sweetheart”, and it tended to be performed in shows alongside “Darling”. As if the two were meant to be a set.
Stylistically the two tunes had next to nothing in common. It gave the fans something else to muse over, idly, in between listening to her recordings and pushing the ‘play’ command to listen to them again.
But “Sweetheart” presented something for the more analytical fans to sink their teeth into; the ones who spent hours parsing apart and discussing every hidden meaning behind every harmony and word.
They claimed the song, if you really listened to the lyrics, was in fact about a love affair between two men. Speculation raged in this corner of the following over why the Voice would choose such a topic to compose on.
To the majority of the masses it couldn’t have mattered less. They didn’t care who or what her songs might be about.
They still came from miles around to hear.