Something Of A GIP
(Who made this?? I know I picked it up fairly recently, but I completely fail at remembering from where -_-)
Finally up to date on the flist again. It only took me all the way up to skip=260. Sweet jesus.
Took out some older icons I don't use so much from the rotation and added ten in.
One of the ones I took out was my BtVS "Whatever" one...only it had fallen victim to that weird lj glitch that's been going around and had been replaced by some random image of two anime guys. Lol internets. *snippy eyeroll*
Classes are pretty much going okay, I guess. I will admit I've felt incredibly flaky all week, bailing on both academic and social commitments in favor of...nothing, really. All I've done is a whole lot of walking around in circles outside and enjoying what lingers of the good weather. In favor of doing calculus, or anthropology reading, or meeting up with friends for dinner, or even watching this week's episode of Heroes (I wasn't in the mood).
It's probably the whole grad school thing that's got me feeling so lackluster. There's so much crap to do and I'm not even sure it's going to really pay off, so I'm falling into that trap where I feel so blah and overwhelmed by the whole thing I can't even attempt to start it. I've had all week to email this professor so I could talk to her about schools and I haven't even done that.
And, I'm not gonna lie, I've been skipping classes again. Almost all of Tuesday and most of my calculus lectures. For what it's worth, I may not have been missing much with the Calculus lectures: the other kids in my recitation complained that the lecturer only gives really basic examples and doesn't teach you how to do any of things you need for the homework. At least the TA is a little beter.
I've also felt totally unmotivated, creatively. Can't even remember the last time I wrote something, anything - or even worked on that vid I'm soclose to finishing. Can't remember the last time I felt like working on anything, either. A few times now I've opened up Word to try and make myself write and just haven't been able to get it to happen.
Looking back on it, I think I feel so unmotivated because I really haven't had any kind of encouragment lately: I've gotten very little feedback on all my latest fics. I know the whole point of it is to write what I want to and not worry about feedback...it's just hard to want to write something if you feel like no one's going to read it. It all becomes one big "Well, why bother??"
And so many of even my general lj posts have gotten zero comments, or maybe like two comments each from either people I know in RL or the same dozen or so people that comment every time.
(Mutual friends seventy-seven; or so my info's count claims. For a long time now lately, maybe even all summer, I've been feeling like I have more like ten. If even that. It's been awhile since I've heard from most of you. I keep having this reoccuring fear that I did something to piss a large chuck of the internet off and no one bothered to tell me.)
I missed this week's Project Runway also. And the previous week's episode of House.
(And that weird thing with my computer not playing YouTube videoes is still going on...when I try to watch on YouTube, anyway. For some reason if it's a video that's been embedded elsewhere though, like on my flist...now those play just fine. What the hell?)
Don't get me wrong: some really nice stuff has been going on in my life too. But I guess sometimes when you feel down, you just don't even want to talk about it. Right now all I want to do is hit "post" and go clear my head.
Maybe I'll feel up to giving you guys a happier post tomorrow.
Who knows? For a change, maybe I'll even manage to be interesting.
Finally up to date on the flist again. It only took me all the way up to skip=260. Sweet jesus.
Took out some older icons I don't use so much from the rotation and added ten in.
One of the ones I took out was my BtVS "Whatever" one...only it had fallen victim to that weird lj glitch that's been going around and had been replaced by some random image of two anime guys. Lol internets. *snippy eyeroll*
Classes are pretty much going okay, I guess. I will admit I've felt incredibly flaky all week, bailing on both academic and social commitments in favor of...nothing, really. All I've done is a whole lot of walking around in circles outside and enjoying what lingers of the good weather. In favor of doing calculus, or anthropology reading, or meeting up with friends for dinner, or even watching this week's episode of Heroes (I wasn't in the mood).
It's probably the whole grad school thing that's got me feeling so lackluster. There's so much crap to do and I'm not even sure it's going to really pay off, so I'm falling into that trap where I feel so blah and overwhelmed by the whole thing I can't even attempt to start it. I've had all week to email this professor so I could talk to her about schools and I haven't even done that.
And, I'm not gonna lie, I've been skipping classes again. Almost all of Tuesday and most of my calculus lectures. For what it's worth, I may not have been missing much with the Calculus lectures: the other kids in my recitation complained that the lecturer only gives really basic examples and doesn't teach you how to do any of things you need for the homework. At least the TA is a little beter.
I've also felt totally unmotivated, creatively. Can't even remember the last time I wrote something, anything - or even worked on that vid I'm soclose to finishing. Can't remember the last time I felt like working on anything, either. A few times now I've opened up Word to try and make myself write and just haven't been able to get it to happen.
Looking back on it, I think I feel so unmotivated because I really haven't had any kind of encouragment lately: I've gotten very little feedback on all my latest fics. I know the whole point of it is to write what I want to and not worry about feedback...it's just hard to want to write something if you feel like no one's going to read it. It all becomes one big "Well, why bother??"
And so many of even my general lj posts have gotten zero comments, or maybe like two comments each from either people I know in RL or the same dozen or so people that comment every time.
(Mutual friends seventy-seven; or so my info's count claims. For a long time now lately, maybe even all summer, I've been feeling like I have more like ten. If even that. It's been awhile since I've heard from most of you. I keep having this reoccuring fear that I did something to piss a large chuck of the internet off and no one bothered to tell me.)
I missed this week's Project Runway also. And the previous week's episode of House.
(And that weird thing with my computer not playing YouTube videoes is still going on...when I try to watch on YouTube, anyway. For some reason if it's a video that's been embedded elsewhere though, like on my flist...now those play just fine. What the hell?)
Don't get me wrong: some really nice stuff has been going on in my life too. But I guess sometimes when you feel down, you just don't even want to talk about it. Right now all I want to do is hit "post" and go clear my head.
Maybe I'll feel up to giving you guys a happier post tomorrow.
Who knows? For a change, maybe I'll even manage to be interesting.