Sunburn? Maybe
I knew it was really hard for me to get a sunburn. Maybe I did today. It's an inbetween one. I might start peeling, i might not. Or it could end up like one i had a long time ago, where i got a sunburn, lost it, then a week and a half later, it peeled. Figure that one out.
Anyway, enough gross skin peeling talk.
H is really confused about stuff right now. I dont know how to talk to him. Blah. He wont let anyone comment on his last post in LJ, so I'll comment here. He's been concerned that we dont include him in things anymore, but I'm pretty sure I've told him why. It dates back to last year in Jefferson Commons. We'd always invite him places, and he would always turn us down for Megan. WE got really frustrated, and of course, after awhile we stopped asking. Summer came, and now it's gone. Everyone is back, and he's feeling left out. What are we supposed to do? In my opinion, he's got to put himself back out there. At our party the other day, he was upstairs in his room, not downstairs socializing. Since he wasnt down there, we all figured he went to sleep. When I came back up to get Zach's towel and to take a piss, I happened to notice his light was on, and I went and got him. It's not that we dont like him, or want him there. If that was the case, we would avoid him at all costs, which of course we dont do. I think part of it is that now that he's having problems with Megan, he wants to hang out with us now, but doesnt feel like he belongs as much anymore, cause he's not used to hanging out w/ us anymore. I dont know exactly what is going on w/ those two, and quite frankly, I dont care, esp cause it's none of my business. But the fact still remains that we didnt do this, he did. I had to beg him a lot to come out with us last year, and he almost never would. I hate to see him like this, but what can I do? If we wants in on everything we do, he's got to make some effort; he should have spent the night downstairs with us. I was going back and forth, but spent the majority downstairs. I think another reason why, is because he is always at work. We cant sit around and do nothing all day, and wait for him. We all have lives too. So a lot of the time we're gone when he gets back from work. He needs to call us and hang out. I know I'm closer to him than pretty much anyone else up here, but I cant do all this by myself.
I'm having a little bit of money problems. Im gonna be 50-100 short of rent this month. Even though I've only had to ask my parents for money once ($100, but they gave me 200) since I've left the house, and they've paid my brothers rent like 4 times (prob equals $1000), I still hate to ask. I'm sure they would help me out, but sometimes I think I'm too competitive and independent. And if I dont have enough money for rent, it doesnt take a genius to figure out I dont have any money for school/classes. What am I going to do?? I have to get back into school, or it will never happen. My parents live separately now, and I'm pretty sure they're going to eventually sell the house. My dad is willing to give me 1000 dollars or a huge tv. I would love the tv, but if I can get the money in time to buy a class, Im taking the money. It's still possible to save up enough money to buy the tv from him before he needs to get rid of it. I really need to talk to him about that. But this leads me to my next topic.
School. What the fuck. lol. When it comes to this direction in my life, Im lost. Actually, this is the only direction I should be taking right now, so Im pretty much totally screwed. I can still get back into the rhythm though. I love school, or at least I did. It stopped being fun somewhere around junior yr of high school. The classes I took at FSU were easy. They were boring and a waste of time, and instead of saying "ok, they're really easy, i'll just get through them," I said, "fuck it." Plain and simple. So I tried again. And again, in every class, after about 15 min of being there, I got really bored, and starting daydreaming, and I couldnt help it. I tried to pay attention. Maybe I'm just not suited for college, and they way things are taught. Maybe lectures just dont do it for me. I've also been thinking that maybe ADD has something to do with it, but I havent made it to a doctor. Or it could be, that deep down inside, I just dont want to go to school anymore. What do I do then? There have been many successful people with only a high school diploma, but the risk is so huge. And I would be taking the hard road for the rest of my life. College is hard now, but it pays off in the end. I think that, if I can, I'll take one class this semester. Then come spring, I'm gonna take out the biggest loan I can and start taking classes full time. I'll graduate and probably be 30k in debt, but oh well. I have to do something, and do it now. This shouldnt even be an issue, so why is it? It's not that there is something wrong with me (well, maybe there is), but why does everyone else get their schoolwork taken care of, and I dont? THAT'S the big question. If I knew the answer, I could fix the problem.
It's kinda funny how people ask me about H and Megan, and Josh and Sara. "How the hell would I know?" is usually my answer. I still dont understand why they ask me....Actually, I know why they ask me, I just wish they would stop. lol
Almost all of my male and female friends keep telling me the same thing. And I just look at them weird as say, "Yeah, that's what everyone else tells me." Im sure all of you know what I'm talking about.
One good thing is that I've been living pretty much all on my own for 2 yrs. What makes this school thing harder is that I dont care so much about money, but it is a neccessity. Anybody have an opinion?
Jacobs birthday party is tonight, so tonight will be just for him. I bet he'll like that.
Later,
LJ
Anyway, enough gross skin peeling talk.
H is really confused about stuff right now. I dont know how to talk to him. Blah. He wont let anyone comment on his last post in LJ, so I'll comment here. He's been concerned that we dont include him in things anymore, but I'm pretty sure I've told him why. It dates back to last year in Jefferson Commons. We'd always invite him places, and he would always turn us down for Megan. WE got really frustrated, and of course, after awhile we stopped asking. Summer came, and now it's gone. Everyone is back, and he's feeling left out. What are we supposed to do? In my opinion, he's got to put himself back out there. At our party the other day, he was upstairs in his room, not downstairs socializing. Since he wasnt down there, we all figured he went to sleep. When I came back up to get Zach's towel and to take a piss, I happened to notice his light was on, and I went and got him. It's not that we dont like him, or want him there. If that was the case, we would avoid him at all costs, which of course we dont do. I think part of it is that now that he's having problems with Megan, he wants to hang out with us now, but doesnt feel like he belongs as much anymore, cause he's not used to hanging out w/ us anymore. I dont know exactly what is going on w/ those two, and quite frankly, I dont care, esp cause it's none of my business. But the fact still remains that we didnt do this, he did. I had to beg him a lot to come out with us last year, and he almost never would. I hate to see him like this, but what can I do? If we wants in on everything we do, he's got to make some effort; he should have spent the night downstairs with us. I was going back and forth, but spent the majority downstairs. I think another reason why, is because he is always at work. We cant sit around and do nothing all day, and wait for him. We all have lives too. So a lot of the time we're gone when he gets back from work. He needs to call us and hang out. I know I'm closer to him than pretty much anyone else up here, but I cant do all this by myself.
I'm having a little bit of money problems. Im gonna be 50-100 short of rent this month. Even though I've only had to ask my parents for money once ($100, but they gave me 200) since I've left the house, and they've paid my brothers rent like 4 times (prob equals $1000), I still hate to ask. I'm sure they would help me out, but sometimes I think I'm too competitive and independent. And if I dont have enough money for rent, it doesnt take a genius to figure out I dont have any money for school/classes. What am I going to do?? I have to get back into school, or it will never happen. My parents live separately now, and I'm pretty sure they're going to eventually sell the house. My dad is willing to give me 1000 dollars or a huge tv. I would love the tv, but if I can get the money in time to buy a class, Im taking the money. It's still possible to save up enough money to buy the tv from him before he needs to get rid of it. I really need to talk to him about that. But this leads me to my next topic.
School. What the fuck. lol. When it comes to this direction in my life, Im lost. Actually, this is the only direction I should be taking right now, so Im pretty much totally screwed. I can still get back into the rhythm though. I love school, or at least I did. It stopped being fun somewhere around junior yr of high school. The classes I took at FSU were easy. They were boring and a waste of time, and instead of saying "ok, they're really easy, i'll just get through them," I said, "fuck it." Plain and simple. So I tried again. And again, in every class, after about 15 min of being there, I got really bored, and starting daydreaming, and I couldnt help it. I tried to pay attention. Maybe I'm just not suited for college, and they way things are taught. Maybe lectures just dont do it for me. I've also been thinking that maybe ADD has something to do with it, but I havent made it to a doctor. Or it could be, that deep down inside, I just dont want to go to school anymore. What do I do then? There have been many successful people with only a high school diploma, but the risk is so huge. And I would be taking the hard road for the rest of my life. College is hard now, but it pays off in the end. I think that, if I can, I'll take one class this semester. Then come spring, I'm gonna take out the biggest loan I can and start taking classes full time. I'll graduate and probably be 30k in debt, but oh well. I have to do something, and do it now. This shouldnt even be an issue, so why is it? It's not that there is something wrong with me (well, maybe there is), but why does everyone else get their schoolwork taken care of, and I dont? THAT'S the big question. If I knew the answer, I could fix the problem.
It's kinda funny how people ask me about H and Megan, and Josh and Sara. "How the hell would I know?" is usually my answer. I still dont understand why they ask me....Actually, I know why they ask me, I just wish they would stop. lol
Almost all of my male and female friends keep telling me the same thing. And I just look at them weird as say, "Yeah, that's what everyone else tells me." Im sure all of you know what I'm talking about.
One good thing is that I've been living pretty much all on my own for 2 yrs. What makes this school thing harder is that I dont care so much about money, but it is a neccessity. Anybody have an opinion?
Jacobs birthday party is tonight, so tonight will be just for him. I bet he'll like that.
Later,
LJ