It's Over
...And all of a sudden everything is green. The trees that have been dead all winter are full of the young shades of green; the dark purple-light purple-white lilacs in the alley are all blooming. It's been a rough winter. Some of the trees will never come back. I was partly hoping the one out back that I think I'm allergic to would have to be cut down, but this last week I've been seeing clusters of new leaves.
At some point, I'll plant a patio garden. I won't go out back because the dog is out there, and the dog still doesn't understand who I am through the slats in the fence. Loves me when she sees me walking down the sidewalk, anywhere else, sweetest little deer dog, doesn't trust me through the fence.
It's a slight lag getting back in the groove of things. (I won't say "normal" because fuck how they've propagandized language and our lives.) I can go to my own workplace now, that I've only been going to through this whole thing, and see my coworker's faces all day instead of this ridiculous reaching for a mask or a bandana when we go around a corner or go up front. I can go to a bar (at least the ones I go to) and not pull up a scarf as I walk in the door, just to sit down 50 feet away. I drove by Starbucks, and there are people inside at the tables on their laptops. It almost made me cry. I was a bit rough from being out with Willie the night before, the first night in over a year when we could see our bartender's faces, when we could sit next to our friends, so I was raw emotional, but when I saw that from our baseline of a liberal-ish, progressive corporation, I knew it was over.
I'm still wrestling with a lot of uncomfortable emotions, a lot of anger. I will not forget what I have heard some of you people say to each other. How some people have treated each other. I will not forget about the finger pointing and the name calling and the talking behind each other's backs. I will not forget people's stupid fucking posts on social media condemning others in the midst of all this. There are some people I don't want to associate with anymore. There are still some people making some statements and posting some things that bother me.
Ultimately, though, we're on the right track. All of a sudden, most people are a lot less angry. Most people are relieved and happy (even if they're just told they can be? Since when did we really become such followers?), and the conversations have shifted. People are starting to talk about the fun experiences they've had, the passions they have, the new things they've discovered... instead of new restrictions, mandates, case numbers, vaccine data. There's hope that soon I'll be hearing about people beginning to make plans again, taking risks to open businesses or make life changes, to travel. I really hope so.
Now that I'm getting reacclimated, I'll start doing those things too.
At some point, I'll plant a patio garden. I won't go out back because the dog is out there, and the dog still doesn't understand who I am through the slats in the fence. Loves me when she sees me walking down the sidewalk, anywhere else, sweetest little deer dog, doesn't trust me through the fence.
It's a slight lag getting back in the groove of things. (I won't say "normal" because fuck how they've propagandized language and our lives.) I can go to my own workplace now, that I've only been going to through this whole thing, and see my coworker's faces all day instead of this ridiculous reaching for a mask or a bandana when we go around a corner or go up front. I can go to a bar (at least the ones I go to) and not pull up a scarf as I walk in the door, just to sit down 50 feet away. I drove by Starbucks, and there are people inside at the tables on their laptops. It almost made me cry. I was a bit rough from being out with Willie the night before, the first night in over a year when we could see our bartender's faces, when we could sit next to our friends, so I was raw emotional, but when I saw that from our baseline of a liberal-ish, progressive corporation, I knew it was over.
I'm still wrestling with a lot of uncomfortable emotions, a lot of anger. I will not forget what I have heard some of you people say to each other. How some people have treated each other. I will not forget about the finger pointing and the name calling and the talking behind each other's backs. I will not forget people's stupid fucking posts on social media condemning others in the midst of all this. There are some people I don't want to associate with anymore. There are still some people making some statements and posting some things that bother me.
Ultimately, though, we're on the right track. All of a sudden, most people are a lot less angry. Most people are relieved and happy (even if they're just told they can be? Since when did we really become such followers?), and the conversations have shifted. People are starting to talk about the fun experiences they've had, the passions they have, the new things they've discovered... instead of new restrictions, mandates, case numbers, vaccine data. There's hope that soon I'll be hearing about people beginning to make plans again, taking risks to open businesses or make life changes, to travel. I really hope so.
Now that I'm getting reacclimated, I'll start doing those things too.