(no subject)
This time endless, this conversation never weakening, this feeling like I’m choking, it will never end, or so it seems. I feel the fist clinch around my neck, I feel my heart rising in my chest, but I still keep speaking the truth. I find myself in what I think is love, or perhaps just caring about someone more than anyone else, including my narcissistic self. A god complex maybe, but i want him to be the god of me. Why did i wait this long, to force myself into a life that i once belonged. I wish he could have heard my voice, and dried my tears sometime before. As i sit back wondering, on the times i once had, as my song about these thoughts plays on in the background, i see his face in all the years past, his voice still the same, though changed to others i hear the same one like an echo from ages passed. he has calmed my dreams, and yet everynight when i try and sleep i feel my chest sinking, my heart beggining to tear, becuase he is leaving, becuase he always was.
I shouldnt be so attached, but i cant control this anymore. I cant lie to myself.
That is not my decision.