40k Humor
Found in /tg/ on 4chan:
I accept, using my newfound army to furthur the Emperor's agenda, conquering many worlds. One day, I am approched by Horus. He says "Hey, bro, lemme show you something cool!" I think it's going to be a dead frog someone ran over with a Predator, but to my surprise, it's Chaos!
"I don't know..." I say. "Dad said not to experiment with Chaos"
"Come on, bro. All the cool Primarchs are doing it!"
I succumb to peer pressure and try Chaos. It's awesome! It gives me such a rush! Dad, of course, disowns my ass and I end up bitter and rebellious. It's not long before Chaos warps my body, giving me gruesome mutations, while all my Chaos-friendly brothers get to be cool Daemon Princes!
"Haha! I knew you couldn't handle Chaos! What a fuckin pussy!"
They shun me and leave me to mope at my disposition. Soon, even my dread legion doesn't want to hang out with me anymore. They'd rather fight for Abaddon in his Failure Crusades. I spend the rest of my life doing lectures at middle school assemblies on the dangers of using Chaos. Stay in school, kids.
I accept, using my newfound army to furthur the Emperor's agenda, conquering many worlds. One day, I am approched by Horus. He says "Hey, bro, lemme show you something cool!" I think it's going to be a dead frog someone ran over with a Predator, but to my surprise, it's Chaos!
"I don't know..." I say. "Dad said not to experiment with Chaos"
"Come on, bro. All the cool Primarchs are doing it!"
I succumb to peer pressure and try Chaos. It's awesome! It gives me such a rush! Dad, of course, disowns my ass and I end up bitter and rebellious. It's not long before Chaos warps my body, giving me gruesome mutations, while all my Chaos-friendly brothers get to be cool Daemon Princes!
"Haha! I knew you couldn't handle Chaos! What a fuckin pussy!"
They shun me and leave me to mope at my disposition. Soon, even my dread legion doesn't want to hang out with me anymore. They'd rather fight for Abaddon in his Failure Crusades. I spend the rest of my life doing lectures at middle school assemblies on the dangers of using Chaos. Stay in school, kids.