Healing Demonic Scars
Ever since I spilled the beans, I'm not the same person anymore. I fear I've turned too much towards the light. But I'm easier to be around, now. My jealousy is only faintly felt, I am more paitient and tolerant and I feel better towards myself. I feel more calm and less likely to get pissed off and to take things personally. Want proof?
Yesterday, Ben told me that he made out with his ex, drunk. Sound familiar, Jules? Making out with someone else while you're engaged? ;) And I was'nt mad at him or pissed or anything. As soon as I was done reading it, I leaned back in my chair, covered my hand with my mouth and was ready to feel ultamite wrath and hurt. But all I felt was slight surprise. Nothing else, which surprised me even more. And I told him this and he was surprised too. Yet again, I shouldn't be one to talk; since I did that with my sister's newlywed, or even before my sister's fiancee. I guess I've redeemed myself by not being mad at him or anything. After all, we're only 14....we HAVE to get into other relationships before we can actually commit to one. All will be forgiven a lot easier at these times; by me, anyways. I wish I could say that this still means that I don't encourage this to happen again; but that's not what I want. I'll probably do the same and he'll do it again and we'll have every right. I don't care; I understand. (I wonder if this is why Becky wasn't mad at me? Who knows).
I dunno why but I asked White Moon to change my Indian name.....it didn't suit me anymore, and she agreed with me. So, she renamed me Silver Wolf. Which is VERY wierd because I gave that exact name to my dad.....well now I changed it to "Silver Thunder". I think this new name suits me well, and so does White Moon and Sissy. It's cool!
The maid is coming tomorrow and my grandma's waking me up early -_- so I dunno why I'm staying up late up here.....oh well, I'll take a nap after.
*-* The following is for JULES ONLY!!!*-*
Hey Jules, my piercings bleed STILL from time to time; should I take them out? How long do I have to clean them for? And here's a REAL stumper; HOW THE FUCK will I get the two barbells before I go to Belgium!? When we go back to the USA, it's for 3 FUCKING DAYS!!!! And if I ask my grandpa to go shopping for them he'll start asking quesions. HELP!!!
-Demonic_Punk
or, as my Mi'kmaq Indian sisters would say,
-Silver Wolf
Yesterday, Ben told me that he made out with his ex, drunk. Sound familiar, Jules? Making out with someone else while you're engaged? ;) And I was'nt mad at him or pissed or anything. As soon as I was done reading it, I leaned back in my chair, covered my hand with my mouth and was ready to feel ultamite wrath and hurt. But all I felt was slight surprise. Nothing else, which surprised me even more. And I told him this and he was surprised too. Yet again, I shouldn't be one to talk; since I did that with my sister's newlywed, or even before my sister's fiancee. I guess I've redeemed myself by not being mad at him or anything. After all, we're only 14....we HAVE to get into other relationships before we can actually commit to one. All will be forgiven a lot easier at these times; by me, anyways. I wish I could say that this still means that I don't encourage this to happen again; but that's not what I want. I'll probably do the same and he'll do it again and we'll have every right. I don't care; I understand. (I wonder if this is why Becky wasn't mad at me? Who knows).
I dunno why but I asked White Moon to change my Indian name.....it didn't suit me anymore, and she agreed with me. So, she renamed me Silver Wolf. Which is VERY wierd because I gave that exact name to my dad.....well now I changed it to "Silver Thunder". I think this new name suits me well, and so does White Moon and Sissy. It's cool!
The maid is coming tomorrow and my grandma's waking me up early -_- so I dunno why I'm staying up late up here.....oh well, I'll take a nap after.
*-* The following is for JULES ONLY!!!*-*
Hey Jules, my piercings bleed STILL from time to time; should I take them out? How long do I have to clean them for? And here's a REAL stumper; HOW THE FUCK will I get the two barbells before I go to Belgium!? When we go back to the USA, it's for 3 FUCKING DAYS!!!! And if I ask my grandpa to go shopping for them he'll start asking quesions. HELP!!!
-Demonic_Punk
or, as my Mi'kmaq Indian sisters would say,
-Silver Wolf