--I'm tired of being everyone's pier of strength. It's not fair for me to be the "strong" and reliable one all the time. I played that shit enough with my family and look where it got me. I'm not going to put up with it anymore.
Re: holy fuck!demonfireApril 17 2002, 16:04:39 UTC
1)When's the last time I told you I hated you, it certainly wasn't 5 minutes go, which means I don't tell you I hate you every five minutes. In fact, I can't even remember the last time i told you I hated you. I can't even remember the last time I said anything BAD about you.
2) I don't ask you what's wrong anymore because every time I do, you just tell me to go away.
3) I do pay attention to you, but a lot of the time I have other people talking to me at the same time and I don't have the same amount of focus as everyone else. i need one thing at one time, and a lot of the time it's myself that takes up a bunch of time. I have a lot of different priorities than you, one includes figuring out what college I'm going to and managing to keep my grades up since I'm in the wrong tax bracket to get money for being poor.
4) I never asked you to put a mask on. I asked you to reach out for help when you need it. Because most of the time it is easily overlooked. Especially when I'm also going through a bad time. It's not easy for me to say, "Hey, why do you feel fucked up?" when I'm feeling the same way. it's not even easy when I'm not feeling fucked up. No one likes to be brought down, but I do want to help whenever I can. I can't do that if I don't know how you feel.
Re: holy fuck!metal_monkeyApril 18 2002, 05:34:52 UTC
1st--if you realize it or not you do make cracks about how i suck alot.
2nd--in the last month i can't remember even one time when you asked me what was wrong.
(i also talked to jessy this morning and realized when i don't respond that is cause {and don't take this the wrong way}your not the person i wanna talk to). you give off a feeling of indiferance and that makes me want to talk to someone that at least pretends to care about what i'm saying.
3rd--how can i reach out to some one who doesn't reach back?
Re: holy fuck!demonfireApril 18 2002, 14:26:26 UTC
1) Tell me when I make cracks about how you suck and I'll start catching myself more often.
2) We asked you what was wrong after the play. You played a little shitty game and didn't tell us what was wrong.
3) I'll reach when I have something to reach you for. Right now I don't trust you with my problems because I don't have any. Even if i did have problems, you haven't proved yourself mature enough with your own problems for me to trust you with mine.
needs a new titlemetal_monkeyApril 19 2002, 13:43:25 UTC
that would be nice if you did catch yourself more,thanks!
no i didn't play a shitty little game.i was being as nice as i could actually. i went away insted of telling you both that i really just wanted you to leave me alone(i haven't gotten that depressed in a while,at least not the same feeling from being depressed,and i just needed to be by myself).
how have i "not proved myself mature enough with my own problems"?
why should you be medealing in my problems if have no need to (sorry but the whole screwing with my lj thing is still relavant here)
and when (lately) have i tryed to help you with yours? you've made it very clear you don't want me helping.
Re: holy fuck!metal_monkeyApril 18 2002, 13:31:50 UTC
haveing you avoid me today made me think of something.
you asume i'm mad at you.
i'm not and i'm not telling you to avoid me(plus when you avoid me you avoid jessy and she wasn't to pleased with that)
the only reson i'm saying all this is because i'm being a good friend not a marshmellow.
i'm telling you what i was going to eventually, and telling you what you need to hear in order to give you a reality check.
Re: holy fuck!demonfireApril 18 2002, 14:23:55 UTC
Don't fucking say you "luv" me. Everytime you say it, I picture you saying it the same way you always do, in that stupid ass small voice that you think is cute. It irritates the hell out of me and I should have said something earlier. It makes me feel like you're just saying it to say it. Don't drag someone else into it. jessy doesn't belong in this conversation. If she wants to tell me she's pissed off at me, or "displeased" as you said, she needs to tell me and not go through you. Otherwise it's a bunch of crap and I'll ignore it. I don't care if you're mad at me or not at this point. I'm not particularly mad at you either. I just want you to realize that I'm not the only one doing things wrong in this and you need to stop blaming me for your unhappiness in the friendship. Until then, I need to take a break. If Jessy feels the urge to talk to me, she has my phone number, but you will not be the subject of the conversation.
2) I don't ask you what's wrong anymore because every time I do, you just tell me to go away.
3) I do pay attention to you, but a lot of the time I have other people talking to me at the same time and I don't have the same amount of focus as everyone else. i need one thing at one time, and a lot of the time it's myself that takes up a bunch of time. I have a lot of different priorities than you, one includes figuring out what college I'm going to and managing to keep my grades up since I'm in the wrong tax bracket to get money for being poor.
4) I never asked you to put a mask on. I asked you to reach out for help when you need it. Because most of the time it is easily overlooked. Especially when I'm also going through a bad time. It's not easy for me to say, "Hey, why do you feel fucked up?" when I'm feeling the same way. it's not even easy when I'm not feeling fucked up. No one likes to be brought down, but I do want to help whenever I can. I can't do that if I don't know how you feel.
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2nd--in the last month i can't remember even one time when you asked me what was wrong.
(i also talked to jessy this morning and realized when i don't respond that is cause {and don't take this the wrong way}your not the person i wanna talk to). you give off a feeling of indiferance and that makes me want to talk to someone that at least pretends to care about what i'm saying.
3rd--how can i reach out to some one who doesn't reach back?
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2) We asked you what was wrong after the play. You played a little shitty game and didn't tell us what was wrong.
3) I'll reach when I have something to reach you for. Right now I don't trust you with my problems because I don't have any. Even if i did have problems, you haven't proved yourself mature enough with your own problems for me to trust you with mine.
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no i didn't play a shitty little game.i was being as nice as i could actually. i went away insted of telling you both that i really just wanted you to leave me alone(i haven't gotten that depressed in a while,at least not the same feeling from being depressed,and i just needed to be by myself).
how have i "not proved myself mature enough with my own problems"?
why should you be medealing in my problems if have no need to (sorry but the whole screwing with my lj thing is still relavant here)
and when (lately) have i tryed to help you with yours? you've made it very clear you don't want me helping.
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you asume i'm mad at you.
i'm not and i'm not telling you to avoid me(plus when you avoid me you avoid jessy and she wasn't to pleased with that)
the only reson i'm saying all this is because i'm being a good friend not a marshmellow.
i'm telling you what i was going to eventually, and telling you what you need to hear in order to give you a reality check.
luv you... i hope you don't think i'm mad at you.
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if you wish me to be totally serious around you all the time i will.
jessy asked me to type what i did. she's not pissed off but not exactly happy that you were (inadvertantly i hope) avoiding her.
your taking almost every thing i say the wrong way
if you don't want to be my "friend" any more just say so.
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