St. Patrick's Day in Germany
--They don't really do much of the celebrating of St. Patrick's Day in Germany. I mean, they've got it in the pubs near the base, and I'm sure the Catholic population here goes to a special mass and celebrates it in a small way, but there's no huge parade and the wearing of green and blah, blah, blah. So, had I not gone to a small gasthaus it would have been a fairly quiet night. Lucky for me, the German's like paying my tab, whoo hoo.
--So, I walk into this little bar in Obernheim (my village). There are, in the beginning, only two people besides myself, and one of them is the bar tender. Surprisingly, it's not the bar tender who speaks English, but the guy standing to my right (those Germans, they don't waste chairs on people at the bar). It's only 8 o'clock, but I'm lookin' spiff and I figure people might show up eventually and it doesn't really matter whether they speak English or not if I'm still having a good time. So I order ein grosse bier while everyone kind of ignores the fact that I can't talk. Thomas, the person sitting to my right asks me if I would like to try something stronger, I agree and he orders me a schnapps.
--For some reason, the bar tender (whose name I figure out is Hans) is reluctant to pour my drink because I guess he thinks it's too strong for me or whatever. This of course cheeses me off and I insist on taking the drink, and since I've only had three quarters of my beer I'm not drunk enough for it to even matter. I down my scnapps smooth like I've been scarfin' the schnapps since childhood. Next to me Thomas downs his not so smoothly and I feel like The Awesome because I got mine down without it searing my throat. After my second beer it's nine-thirty and no one else who speaks English has shown up yet. Thomas must feel sorry for me because I asked if the bar was normally that empty on a Friday night (more people did come, but none of them spoke English). So he offered to take me to another bar a village and a half over. The villages are usually about 4-5 km away from each other. I think this sounds okay and as the Germans are extremely polite even when they're a little drunken and grabby I agree. I ask how much I owe Hans only to discover that Thomas has paid my tab. I am just that charming.
--So we hop into the car of Thomas and speed off to Mittelbrun, which was maybe about a mile and a half up the road. Don't worry, he'd only had two drinks and was walking in the straight lines. There I met Tanya (the bar tender), a Polish woman who speaks no English but yammers at me with the pantomiming because she wants to communicate and doesn't know any other way, and Franky AKA Tulpi from Holland who does speak English. Tanya is the Awesome. She's a short, formidable little thing who gave Thomas and all the rest a bunch of lip. She came right out and said, "If my husband doesn't have a job, he doesn't have the sex." So awesome. Turns out she's actually my neighbor from down the street. She has the farm with the two Shetland ponies, two geese, two dogs, and two kids. She likes Hippos and her kids like Oreos. We downed the Jagermeister like nobody's business.
--A beer, three Jagermeister's, a pear schnapps, a Baileys Irish Liquor (2cl), and a water later and it was 1in the morning and the bar was a-closin'. They close early in the little villages, dontcha know. I think they only stayed open as late as they did because there was a dart tournament going on. They played the song "Don't Worry, Be Happy" for me because for awhile I had that dazed and glazed look from slightly too much alcohol in one sitting. I sobbered up a bit after the water and trip to the bathroom though. Good times. I got a ride home with someone who wasn't shitfaced and life was good.
--I was even invited to Thomas's 45th birthday party, which will either be on the 31st or the 1st. Me thinks Thomas was a little too drunk to remember the details. I think I'll be going back to the German pubs sooner than I thought.
-Saturday involved a trip to IKEA. My mom bought the cat a little tent. It's kinda cute. It's the red one, although it looks more pink than red. I bought for myself a flask, a new toiletry bag (which I love), a cat-shaped pillow, and a heavy duty laundry bag, which no college student should be without, especially since I break those damned mesh ones. Also, I went to the German fleamarket in Rammstein and found a beer stein that is the shit. Lucky for me it's Pewter, no lead content in my beer, thank ya much.
--So, I walk into this little bar in Obernheim (my village). There are, in the beginning, only two people besides myself, and one of them is the bar tender. Surprisingly, it's not the bar tender who speaks English, but the guy standing to my right (those Germans, they don't waste chairs on people at the bar). It's only 8 o'clock, but I'm lookin' spiff and I figure people might show up eventually and it doesn't really matter whether they speak English or not if I'm still having a good time. So I order ein grosse bier while everyone kind of ignores the fact that I can't talk. Thomas, the person sitting to my right asks me if I would like to try something stronger, I agree and he orders me a schnapps.
--For some reason, the bar tender (whose name I figure out is Hans) is reluctant to pour my drink because I guess he thinks it's too strong for me or whatever. This of course cheeses me off and I insist on taking the drink, and since I've only had three quarters of my beer I'm not drunk enough for it to even matter. I down my scnapps smooth like I've been scarfin' the schnapps since childhood. Next to me Thomas downs his not so smoothly and I feel like The Awesome because I got mine down without it searing my throat. After my second beer it's nine-thirty and no one else who speaks English has shown up yet. Thomas must feel sorry for me because I asked if the bar was normally that empty on a Friday night (more people did come, but none of them spoke English). So he offered to take me to another bar a village and a half over. The villages are usually about 4-5 km away from each other. I think this sounds okay and as the Germans are extremely polite even when they're a little drunken and grabby I agree. I ask how much I owe Hans only to discover that Thomas has paid my tab. I am just that charming.
--So we hop into the car of Thomas and speed off to Mittelbrun, which was maybe about a mile and a half up the road. Don't worry, he'd only had two drinks and was walking in the straight lines. There I met Tanya (the bar tender), a Polish woman who speaks no English but yammers at me with the pantomiming because she wants to communicate and doesn't know any other way, and Franky AKA Tulpi from Holland who does speak English. Tanya is the Awesome. She's a short, formidable little thing who gave Thomas and all the rest a bunch of lip. She came right out and said, "If my husband doesn't have a job, he doesn't have the sex." So awesome. Turns out she's actually my neighbor from down the street. She has the farm with the two Shetland ponies, two geese, two dogs, and two kids. She likes Hippos and her kids like Oreos. We downed the Jagermeister like nobody's business.
--A beer, three Jagermeister's, a pear schnapps, a Baileys Irish Liquor (2cl), and a water later and it was 1in the morning and the bar was a-closin'. They close early in the little villages, dontcha know. I think they only stayed open as late as they did because there was a dart tournament going on. They played the song "Don't Worry, Be Happy" for me because for awhile I had that dazed and glazed look from slightly too much alcohol in one sitting. I sobbered up a bit after the water and trip to the bathroom though. Good times. I got a ride home with someone who wasn't shitfaced and life was good.
--I was even invited to Thomas's 45th birthday party, which will either be on the 31st or the 1st. Me thinks Thomas was a little too drunk to remember the details. I think I'll be going back to the German pubs sooner than I thought.
-Saturday involved a trip to IKEA. My mom bought the cat a little tent. It's kinda cute. It's the red one, although it looks more pink than red. I bought for myself a flask, a new toiletry bag (which I love), a cat-shaped pillow, and a heavy duty laundry bag, which no college student should be without, especially since I break those damned mesh ones. Also, I went to the German fleamarket in Rammstein and found a beer stein that is the shit. Lucky for me it's Pewter, no lead content in my beer, thank ya much.