[LOVELESS] The Butterfly Mansion
Since my departure is delayed, here's an update to satisfy you for a while (I hope)
Chapter Title: Bitter Revenge
Pairing: Soubi x Ritsuka
Rating: PG-13 for violence
Story Summary: Soubi believed his heart was completely frozen, incapable of love, unwilling to love. But Fate was about to prove him wrong.
Chapter Summary: Everything comes with a price
A/N: Personally, I don't think it's the best chapter. It's very difficult to get the characters IC and the stress wasn't helping me. It's going to be the last update for a long while because I will be away for two months. Check my LJ for detail if you care. Unbeta-ed and you might be able to tell that I've been reading Lolita again. That wonderful book is a bad influence for my psyche *sighs* Anyway, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I hereby disclaimed Loveless.
BItter Revenge
Sad could not begin to describe Soubi’s feeling when he returned to the Seven Moons two hours later. The pain was so overwhelming he felt numb. If he had thought that the two days he spent without Ritsuka was torment but this was beyond the pain he felt then, this was beyond torture, the agony that set his soul throbbing and ablaze was nameless yet real.
My brother. My lover.
What did Ritsuka mean? Who was this Seimei? The kiss they had shared before Soubi earlier was anything but innocent, the desire in it had stabbed Soubi’s heart -or what was left of it, painfully. They couldn’t be mere siblings… if they were really siblings to begin with. The dark locks of hair, captivating eyes, and pale skin were shared. The physical resemblance was uncanny. But lovers? It couldn’t possibly be. But then Soubi had never seen such gentle look upon Ritsuka’s face. He had never seen Ritsuka smiled happily. Ritsuka had never seen him with such adoring eyes. It was mere curiosity and lust that graced his eyes, his mouth, his touches whenever he was with Soubi. There was no affection that he had shown towards Seimei.
He recalled Seimei’s graceful indifference as he sat behind the desk to write down a cheque for him. The cold smile he gave Soubi when he handed him the slip of paper with a formally spoken ‘thank you for your service’ frightened Soubi. With the same smile the dark haired young man called his assistant, another cold beauty, to see him to the gate. Soubi had hoped that Ritsuka would try to stop him but the boy was talking to Seimei happily while he worked on papers his assistant had presented him earlier. Soubi had wanted to call out for the boy, to beg him to make him stay, or to leave with him but his voice failed him. He hadn’t realized it hurt so much to be ignored by Ritsuka.
My brother. My lover.
Who was Soubi to Ritsuka? What could he do? What should he do? Should he take Ritsuka away, claim him as his own as he dreamt? Should he wait for what might never be? He knew he had nothing to offer but himself. He didn’t know much about Ritsuka’s life but what little he knew of it told him that the boy lived a life far from poverty, a life he could not promise Ritsuka. Should he proceed with his selfishness, took him away when he knew not what await them? But could he remain in silence, quietly craving for the forbidden? Could he bear the loneliness after having a brief taste of love? Could he survive without Ritsuka?
The stars glittered down from the dark night sky, mocking him and his loneliness. Alone, cold, forgotten, as he used to be.
*
Ritsu couldn’t decide whether to feel amused or saddened by the sight that greeted him. His favorite employee, the stoic, beautiful Soubi, the lovelorn fool staring into the distant sky, undoubtedly longing for his Beloved. What a sight. Ritsu almost gave in to his desire for beauty but held himself back. No, it wasn’t time for that. It was time to observe. It was time for amusement.
Certainly this was amusing. He had thought -he had believed!- that he had broken Soubi. That first and last night he only wanted to test the boy, see how much it would take to crack his shell. He had seen the gap grew wider and wider, leaving only a void, a beautiful void that many wished to drown in. He had thought there was nothing one could do to mend him. The scar was carved too deep by Ritsu himself and many others who knew only to take but never to give. He had felt a certain pride as he observed Soubi bloomed into a frozen flower, eternally beautiful, eternally unattainable. He ignored the temptations for the sake of preserving the rare beauty he knew he would find nowhere else.
But then he made a small mistake. He had not foreseen it. He had not thought it was possible. The mistake was disguised so artistically that he overlooked it. Beloved. He should’ve known. The name should have warned him. Beloved. The one who was loved. The one who was loved by the unloved. The one who was loved by Soubi.
“What exactly happened between you and Beloved?” he asked coldly, not knowing how to show sympathy that Soubi might need.
Soubi closed his eyes, showing an expression of concealed pain. “Nothing.” He answered quietly.
“We both know it’s not true.” He waited for a response but Soubi chose silence. What a fool. What a lovelorn fool. “I have trained you better than to displease your customers so I believe that wasn’t the case.”
The tiny frown was his answer. Ritsu smirked, pleased to see the bitter child he had created. He wanted to see more but a certain curiosity nagged him. He wanted to preserve the bitter, cold, rare beauty. He wanted to see how much it took to completely freeze a heart. But then again…
“I expect an explanation later but for now I suggest you prepare yourself. Beloved is coming for you tonight.”
Isn’t it more entertaining to see it break to pieces?
*
Beloved? Beloved came to see him?
Anxiety almost held Soubi immobile. He had thought he was abandoned. He had thought he was left alone for good. But now Beloved came to see him. Beloved came for him! He wasn’t forgotten. He wasn’t forsaken. He wasn’t thrown away again.
Excitement and nervousness made him tremble as he prepared himself. The pattern brought only a semblance of comfort. He couldn’t dismiss the fear completely. Why would Beloved come to see him? Was he going to end everything now that his lover returned? Was he going to choose the strange beauty over Soubi’s soiled body? Why would he choose someone like Soubi over somebody as regal as Seimei apparently was?
The time ticked away, Soubi sat on the edge of the bed, feeling restless inside despite his calm countenance. Should he look forward for the arrival that might end his dreams, the first dreams he had in his entire life? Should he wish for a delay and let the longing eat his heart? Soubi couldn’t decide. He didn’t want to decide. He knew time was merciless, it would take the choices away from him. So Soubi watched the door, preparing himself for pain, knowing well that he would never be prepared at all.
The light knocking on his door made his heart leapt. He stood up slowly, took a deep breath to calm himself vainly, and went to open the door. He hesitated, touching the door knob lightly. Why did he seek for pain? Hadn’t he had enough? Hadn’t he experienced it too many times already? What was he searching for? Why did he hope? What did he hope for from Beloved? What could he offer but sorrow?
But what was the use of running away? There was nowhere for him to go. Whichever path he chose, there was only despair. He had learnt to not hope for happiness, he had stopped those dreams long ago. He had abandoned all wishes for happiness. But Beloved had awakened them, made him believe the possibilities again during those nights of passion. It was not meant to be, it was wrong, it was forbidden, but he didn’t care. It was love -yes, it was love- and it could never be wrong. Soubi twisted the door knob and opened the door, preparing himself for anything.
But nothing could prepare him for the sight that greeted him. His body chilled when he saw the dark beauty smiling at him. It was a pleasant smile but Soubi sensed wrath and raging envy behind it.
“Good evening, Soubi-kun.” Seimei greeted him politely. “May I come in?”
Soubi stepped aside tensely, allowing his guest to enter his room. Where was Ritsuka? What was he doing here? Soubi watched the young man assess his room, his attention ensnared by the beautiful view outside. What did he want? What did he want from Soubi?
“You must be wondering what I’m doing here.” Seimei began. He turned to Soubi, still smiling that deceitful smile. If only Soubi couldn’t see the hate shining behind his eyes, he would have been taken by it. But no, Soubi sensed danger from this young man; a danger more than Ritsu or any of his previous tormentor could ever present. “You must be wondering where Ritsuka is.”
“I am not expecting you. I am expecting Beloved.” Soubi finally found his voice.
Seimei’s smile grew slightly wider. “Then you are expecting me. I am Beloved.” He pulled the chair near the window and gestured to it. “Why don’t you sit down here, Soubi-kun? You look quite shaken.”
Soubi obeyed him with little hesitance. There was a power in Seimei’s voice and eyes that he could not fight even if a part of him urged him to refuse, a tiny part defeated by myriads of questions flooding his brain. He sat on the chair and tried to gather his thoughts. What was he saying? He was Beloved? But his order was clear. Ritsu would not make a mistake. He was ordered to go to the mansion to see Beloved and Ritsuka was the only one there. The boy had confirmed it, too. Ristuka said he was Beloved, he was the one who asked for Soubi’s company… He was Beloved…
“You see, Soubi-kun, my Ritsuka has apparently deceived you.” Seimei began his explanation with a light mocking tone. “He told you that he was Beloved but the truth is that he has assumed my codename and used it to ask for you.” He stopped, enjoying the sight of Soubi’s quite obvious shock. “I was introduced to the Seven Moons three years ago, when I assumed my father’s position in our company after his passing. I was intrigued, I must admit, and so I become a member of it. I never had the chance to use it, though, for I am almost constantly occupied by menial task and of course…” He paused to smile. Soubi could see that this time it was a little more genuine though no less dangerous and frightening. “Ritsuka.”
Soubi watched the young man warily. He wished he was being lied to but he could sense that this was the truth. Seimei wasn’t the kind of person who made up lies; he was the kind who twisted the truth to fit his convenience. Seimei wouldn’t come here just to lie to Soubi, he came to expose the painful truth.
“I left for Europe several months ago to attend a certain business. Before my departure, I have arranged for Ritsuka to stay in the mansion until my return. I could not leave him at home. You see, our mother is not one you would call very stable. She is especially difficult toward Ritsuka. I believe you have seen the results of her ‘affection’ toward him.”
Soubi’s breath caught, recalling the sight of Ritsuka’s tiny wounded body. So Ritsuka lied after all. They were not wounds from carelessness. He had been abused by his own mother. Was that why he was reluctant to tell Soubi? Was that why he lied? Was he trying to protect her? Was he unwilling to trust Soubi? The idea tore Soubi more than he thought it would. Was his feelings unreturned after all?
“I carefully arranged so that Ritsuka’s whereabouts remained unknown. Only several people know his position; the servants I ordered to take care of him quietly behind our mother’s back. The plan went well until several days ago when she discovered him. Thankfully some servants had been quick to persuade her to return home and I believed that there should be no more problem. Aside from that error, I thought I have been careful. But I made a slight mistake.” There, Seimei paused. His smile faltered slightly and he seemed upset. He seemed to be angry to himself, to mistakes he should not have been capable of making. “Being left alone, naturally Ritsuka felt restless. He tried to contact me several times but I was too occupied with work. It was then that he remembered this ‘club’ I once told him about. He recalled that I am a member and used my codename to ask for a company. I suppose it was by accident that he asked for you.” He glanced at Soubi coldly, assessing what he was worth. “His intention, as I discovered last night, was to gain my attention and get a company. He knew that sooner or later I would take notice of this. It took me a while before my assistant pointed out certain bills that I did not immediately recognize. I then realized that it was Ritsuka’s way of getting my attention so I went home as soon as possible. But it seems like I was late after all.”
Seimei stopped in front of Soubi, peering down at him haughtily. Soubi felt intimidated but held his ground. He could not lose to this man. He must not lose to him. Not when he knew the price at stake was Ritsuka.
“Tell me, Soubi-kun, were you the one who took Ritsuka?”
Soubi nearly winced at the hatred in the voice. But he kept his eyes on Seimei’s as he gave his answer. He would not lose Ritsuka to this person. “Yes.”
Seimei smiled but there was no mirth in his eyes, only blinding rage. Soubi felt cold suddenly. His instinct, honed from years living on the street, felt that danger was near. “I must thank you for your lessons. Ritsuka was so delighted to have learnt how to please me.” He took a step back from Soubi, still smiling that frightening smile. “Stand up, please, Soubi-kun.”
Soubi obeyed with only a brief second of hesitance. What was this man up to? He glanced questioningly when Seimei ordered him to unbutton his shirt but the look on the young man’s eyes told him to keep his silence. He quenched his loathing beneath a mask of coldness that Seimei, too, assumed.
“You are an excellent teacher and Ritsuka was a brilliant pupil. He has indeed surpassed my expectations last night.” He let the pain stabbed Soubi’s heart before continuing. Seimei stepped a little closer to Soubi, watching the defined muscles of Soubi’s torso. But there was disgust in his eyes, as proven by his reluctance to touch Soubi as if unwilling to be soiled by him. “But Soubi-kun, you have stolen what is mine to take.” Seimei reached into his pocket. Soubi didn’t let the tension showed in his body but he knew that Seimei could clearly feel his fear. The dark gleam in his eyes told him that he was enjoying Soubi’s trepidation. “You have taken him. My Ritsuka. I find it difficult to forgive.” The sharp metal glinted under the light but Soubi still did not flinch. He would not show his fear openly to this person. He would not lose. He would not give Ritsuka away. “Ritsuka is mine.”
Soubi barely felt the pain. He was silent when he felt the first sting on his vulnerable flesh. He let Seimei drew his rage, his hatred, his envy, his revenge on him. He knew it was the least he could do to pay for his sins. He also knew it showed the tiny victory he stole from Seimei. So he allowed Seimei to do as he pleased, mingled his pain with pleasure, humiliated him, hurt him over and over again. His battered body was not numb, Seimei made sure of that, he made sure that Soubi could sense every single hatred he felt for him and every single victory he took back from him.
The physical emptiness was nothing, the pain ignorable. He stared to the ceiling blankly as Seimei got dressed, not wanting to give Seimei the pleasure of seeing him break down. The young man smoothed his suit from the wrinkles and spared a pitying glance to Soubi who was lying bare on the previously white sheet, tangled in the web of thorns he had cast around himself in his search for what should not be his. For a while Soubi felt relieved that this was over and he started to plan stealing Ritsuka away from Seimei’s grasp, took him away where there would only be the two of them and be happy after an eternity of pain. But those dreams were too good to come true.
“I will see to it that you will not lay your eyes, touch him, or speak to him ever again. Ritsuka is mine and I will take what rightfully belongs to me.” He gave Soubi a cold look that clearly conveyed his loathing, showing Soubi the true monster he was. “Good bye, Soubi-kun.”
*
Kio was the first to find Soubi. He immediately called for help when he saw the bloody mess surrounding his friend and the wounds covering his slender body. Soubi’s blank stare and unresponsiveness worried him. Was he in a shock? Was he all right? Kio wanted to know but the paramedics told him to leave and left Soubi in their care. His protests fell to deaf ears. Nagisa pushed him out of the room none too gently and slammed the door in his face, finalizing the rejection.
Kio fidgeted outside the room, impatiently waiting for the results. What had happened? A guest had come for him last night, Kio heard. Had that person done it to Soubi? Anger rose within the green haired young man. Ritsu should’ve been more careful! Hadn’t he promised this would never happen to any of his employees? Hadn’t he promised them no more danger the street had been presenting them? Wasn’t that why they all agreed to work with him?
“How is he doing?”
Kio glared at his employer. His hands fisted at his sides as he allowed anger to overtake him. “You promised us this would never happen! You said you will never tolerate this here!”
“I did.” Ritsu answered quietly. He looked at the closed door and while he seemed unperturbed by the circumstance, Kio sensed that he was upset, disturbed by the fact that someone had slipped past his monitor enough to ruin Soubi. Though he didn’t show or say it, Kio felt that he was slightly guilty of what had befallen Soubi. The man, too, hadn’t seen nor wished for it to come. This thought curbed Kio’s anger slightly and he shut his mouth to stop himself from blaming Ritsu more. It wasn’t entirely the man’s fault though it would’ve been easier to blame it all on him. Even Ritsu had been fooled this time.
“Nagisa-sensei, how is Soubi?” Kio asked hurriedly when Nagisa stepped out of the room.
“He has lost quite a lot of blood. The wounds are only skin deep though, neither ruptured any of his vital veins or organs. It might take a while for the scars to heal though and I’m not sure it’s not going to leave marks.” Nagisa glanced at the door nonchalantly. It was a well known fact that the doctor never liked Soubi much though she denied that it was due to her jealousy of the amount of attention Ritsu had on the blond. She did admit that she felt little pity when she saw Soubi’s bloodied form but then again, she was rarely empathetic. “He’s still in shock. He wouldn’t talk or move but other than that, he’s fine.”
Ritsu nodded. “Thank you, Nagisa.”
Nagisa nodded back though she was obviously displeased that Ritsu dismissed her so early after her duty was done. Why should she expect the cold man to ask her to stay longer, though? It was clear that he only let her stay so long for her medical skill and lack of questions just as he only needed Soubi for the money he could make for him. But was it Ritsu’s only motive in taking Soubi in? The thought made Nagisa feel more than slightly bitter. “The boy was lucky to be alive. A little longer than that and he might’ve died… but then again, seeing his mental condition right now, he might not want to live much longer. Good evening, Ritsu.”
*
It came out as more than a little surprise when Ritsu assigned Kio to care for Soubi. While Nagisa’s loud protests and insults to Ritsu did unnerve him, Kio wasn’t going to miss the opportunity. He spent many hours with Soubi, taking care for him when the blond was obviously not inclined to do so himself. The questions came soon enough, first as soft enquiries then agitated demands. Kio begged, glared, threatened, but Soubi refused to answer. What was the point? What would it bring him? Ritsuka was taken away from him. He knew no force could defeat Seimei’s insane possessiveness. He would never see the boy again.
“Leave us alone, please.”
The voice no longer had the effect it used to have on him. Soubi fixed his eyes on the ceiling above, refusing to acknowledge the new presence. He sensed hesitation before the door opened the closed, leaving him alone with his employer.
Ritsu went to the window, watching the beautiful view outside before turning to face Soubi. He was being assessed, he knew, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t care anymore. He couldn’t even find a will to be offended and to hate. All he could feel was this blankness, this deep dark abyss in his heart that nothing and no one could alleviate but Ritsuka.
Ritsuka. The name brought so much pain to Soubi so he closed his eyes. His lovely Ritsuka. His lovely Ritsuka who would never be his. Ritsuka. Ritsuka. Ritsuka.
“Aoyagi Seimei is the famous young leader of Aoyagi co. which he inherited at a very tender age. Against all expectations, he performs his duty so well that the company is far more prosperous than when his father leads it. His personal life was little known but he was celebrated as a kind, wise, mature young man.” Ritsu paused, peering down to Soubi who was trying to hold back any kind of reaction from hearing the damned name. “He hardly seemed like someone prone to violence however it seems like we have all made the wrong assumption.” He stopped again. Soubi could sense him exuding the authoritative aura that had drawn him and bind him down many years ago. He closed his eyes, trying to ignore it vainly but Ritsu wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer this time. “Who is Beloved?”
What was the point? What was the point of lying? What was the point of telling the truth? Ritsuka had been taken away from him. He was never to see the boy again. There was nothing at stake but the bittersweet memory of a boy he loved but could never have.
“What is the point?” He whispered. Days of silence had roughened his voice, making him sound as broken as he felt.
“Tell me.” Ritsu commanded; soft, cold, emotionless.
Soubi closed his eyes, knowing his employer would not leave without an answer. He could not gather the strength to lie. The more he thought of Ritsuka, the more pain he felt. His heart felt like it would burst from the fear, hatred, anger, jealousy, love, everything that Ritsuka introduced him to, everything he wished he never knew yet needed to know. What was the point of lying? What was the point of telling the truth? Ritsuka would be with him in distant memory, a sacred place in his soul he would worship every second for the rest of his life. He would be happy with his brother, his lover, and he would forget Soubi who loved him, adored him, worshipped him so much he couldn’t live without him.
The truth, Soubi.
The truth was… he loved Beloved. No, not Seimei. Not the demon in disguise. It’s Ritsuka, the sweet, innocent nymph he had tainted with his sinful love. And now he had fallen to the lap of the seductive demon who would only break him with his need to possess and take and Soubi could only observe in loneliness, in tears because it was his fault somehow and he would never stop loving Ritsuka even though he would never have him in his arm again.
Ritsu said nothing for a long moment, letting Soubi soak in the words he had forbidden himself from saying. Soubi lay vulnerable, bare, pained more than he knew he could ever be. In his mind he chanted only one name that warded away the dark despair from completely taking over his soul. Ritsuka. Ritsuka. Ritsuka. Ritsuka. Ritsuka…
“I see.” Ritsu muttered. He went to the door without sparing another glance at his employee. As his hand touched the doorknob, he paused. “I will leave for Italy in three days. If you recover in time, I might allow you to… accompany me.” He looked at Soubi over his shoulder, watching disdain crossing his face briefly. “And who knows, you might be able to once again see your beloved Ritsuka. Make your choice well, Soubi, and good night.”
TBC
A/N: seven pages with a lot of goodbyes because I am going away. Will miss your reviews greatly!
Chapter Title: Bitter Revenge
Pairing: Soubi x Ritsuka
Rating: PG-13 for violence
Story Summary: Soubi believed his heart was completely frozen, incapable of love, unwilling to love. But Fate was about to prove him wrong.
Chapter Summary: Everything comes with a price
A/N: Personally, I don't think it's the best chapter. It's very difficult to get the characters IC and the stress wasn't helping me. It's going to be the last update for a long while because I will be away for two months. Check my LJ for detail if you care. Unbeta-ed and you might be able to tell that I've been reading Lolita again. That wonderful book is a bad influence for my psyche *sighs* Anyway, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I hereby disclaimed Loveless.
BItter Revenge
Sad could not begin to describe Soubi’s feeling when he returned to the Seven Moons two hours later. The pain was so overwhelming he felt numb. If he had thought that the two days he spent without Ritsuka was torment but this was beyond the pain he felt then, this was beyond torture, the agony that set his soul throbbing and ablaze was nameless yet real.
My brother. My lover.
What did Ritsuka mean? Who was this Seimei? The kiss they had shared before Soubi earlier was anything but innocent, the desire in it had stabbed Soubi’s heart -or what was left of it, painfully. They couldn’t be mere siblings… if they were really siblings to begin with. The dark locks of hair, captivating eyes, and pale skin were shared. The physical resemblance was uncanny. But lovers? It couldn’t possibly be. But then Soubi had never seen such gentle look upon Ritsuka’s face. He had never seen Ritsuka smiled happily. Ritsuka had never seen him with such adoring eyes. It was mere curiosity and lust that graced his eyes, his mouth, his touches whenever he was with Soubi. There was no affection that he had shown towards Seimei.
He recalled Seimei’s graceful indifference as he sat behind the desk to write down a cheque for him. The cold smile he gave Soubi when he handed him the slip of paper with a formally spoken ‘thank you for your service’ frightened Soubi. With the same smile the dark haired young man called his assistant, another cold beauty, to see him to the gate. Soubi had hoped that Ritsuka would try to stop him but the boy was talking to Seimei happily while he worked on papers his assistant had presented him earlier. Soubi had wanted to call out for the boy, to beg him to make him stay, or to leave with him but his voice failed him. He hadn’t realized it hurt so much to be ignored by Ritsuka.
My brother. My lover.
Who was Soubi to Ritsuka? What could he do? What should he do? Should he take Ritsuka away, claim him as his own as he dreamt? Should he wait for what might never be? He knew he had nothing to offer but himself. He didn’t know much about Ritsuka’s life but what little he knew of it told him that the boy lived a life far from poverty, a life he could not promise Ritsuka. Should he proceed with his selfishness, took him away when he knew not what await them? But could he remain in silence, quietly craving for the forbidden? Could he bear the loneliness after having a brief taste of love? Could he survive without Ritsuka?
The stars glittered down from the dark night sky, mocking him and his loneliness. Alone, cold, forgotten, as he used to be.
*
Ritsu couldn’t decide whether to feel amused or saddened by the sight that greeted him. His favorite employee, the stoic, beautiful Soubi, the lovelorn fool staring into the distant sky, undoubtedly longing for his Beloved. What a sight. Ritsu almost gave in to his desire for beauty but held himself back. No, it wasn’t time for that. It was time to observe. It was time for amusement.
Certainly this was amusing. He had thought -he had believed!- that he had broken Soubi. That first and last night he only wanted to test the boy, see how much it would take to crack his shell. He had seen the gap grew wider and wider, leaving only a void, a beautiful void that many wished to drown in. He had thought there was nothing one could do to mend him. The scar was carved too deep by Ritsu himself and many others who knew only to take but never to give. He had felt a certain pride as he observed Soubi bloomed into a frozen flower, eternally beautiful, eternally unattainable. He ignored the temptations for the sake of preserving the rare beauty he knew he would find nowhere else.
But then he made a small mistake. He had not foreseen it. He had not thought it was possible. The mistake was disguised so artistically that he overlooked it. Beloved. He should’ve known. The name should have warned him. Beloved. The one who was loved. The one who was loved by the unloved. The one who was loved by Soubi.
“What exactly happened between you and Beloved?” he asked coldly, not knowing how to show sympathy that Soubi might need.
Soubi closed his eyes, showing an expression of concealed pain. “Nothing.” He answered quietly.
“We both know it’s not true.” He waited for a response but Soubi chose silence. What a fool. What a lovelorn fool. “I have trained you better than to displease your customers so I believe that wasn’t the case.”
The tiny frown was his answer. Ritsu smirked, pleased to see the bitter child he had created. He wanted to see more but a certain curiosity nagged him. He wanted to preserve the bitter, cold, rare beauty. He wanted to see how much it took to completely freeze a heart. But then again…
“I expect an explanation later but for now I suggest you prepare yourself. Beloved is coming for you tonight.”
Isn’t it more entertaining to see it break to pieces?
*
Beloved? Beloved came to see him?
Anxiety almost held Soubi immobile. He had thought he was abandoned. He had thought he was left alone for good. But now Beloved came to see him. Beloved came for him! He wasn’t forgotten. He wasn’t forsaken. He wasn’t thrown away again.
Excitement and nervousness made him tremble as he prepared himself. The pattern brought only a semblance of comfort. He couldn’t dismiss the fear completely. Why would Beloved come to see him? Was he going to end everything now that his lover returned? Was he going to choose the strange beauty over Soubi’s soiled body? Why would he choose someone like Soubi over somebody as regal as Seimei apparently was?
The time ticked away, Soubi sat on the edge of the bed, feeling restless inside despite his calm countenance. Should he look forward for the arrival that might end his dreams, the first dreams he had in his entire life? Should he wish for a delay and let the longing eat his heart? Soubi couldn’t decide. He didn’t want to decide. He knew time was merciless, it would take the choices away from him. So Soubi watched the door, preparing himself for pain, knowing well that he would never be prepared at all.
The light knocking on his door made his heart leapt. He stood up slowly, took a deep breath to calm himself vainly, and went to open the door. He hesitated, touching the door knob lightly. Why did he seek for pain? Hadn’t he had enough? Hadn’t he experienced it too many times already? What was he searching for? Why did he hope? What did he hope for from Beloved? What could he offer but sorrow?
But what was the use of running away? There was nowhere for him to go. Whichever path he chose, there was only despair. He had learnt to not hope for happiness, he had stopped those dreams long ago. He had abandoned all wishes for happiness. But Beloved had awakened them, made him believe the possibilities again during those nights of passion. It was not meant to be, it was wrong, it was forbidden, but he didn’t care. It was love -yes, it was love- and it could never be wrong. Soubi twisted the door knob and opened the door, preparing himself for anything.
But nothing could prepare him for the sight that greeted him. His body chilled when he saw the dark beauty smiling at him. It was a pleasant smile but Soubi sensed wrath and raging envy behind it.
“Good evening, Soubi-kun.” Seimei greeted him politely. “May I come in?”
Soubi stepped aside tensely, allowing his guest to enter his room. Where was Ritsuka? What was he doing here? Soubi watched the young man assess his room, his attention ensnared by the beautiful view outside. What did he want? What did he want from Soubi?
“You must be wondering what I’m doing here.” Seimei began. He turned to Soubi, still smiling that deceitful smile. If only Soubi couldn’t see the hate shining behind his eyes, he would have been taken by it. But no, Soubi sensed danger from this young man; a danger more than Ritsu or any of his previous tormentor could ever present. “You must be wondering where Ritsuka is.”
“I am not expecting you. I am expecting Beloved.” Soubi finally found his voice.
Seimei’s smile grew slightly wider. “Then you are expecting me. I am Beloved.” He pulled the chair near the window and gestured to it. “Why don’t you sit down here, Soubi-kun? You look quite shaken.”
Soubi obeyed him with little hesitance. There was a power in Seimei’s voice and eyes that he could not fight even if a part of him urged him to refuse, a tiny part defeated by myriads of questions flooding his brain. He sat on the chair and tried to gather his thoughts. What was he saying? He was Beloved? But his order was clear. Ritsu would not make a mistake. He was ordered to go to the mansion to see Beloved and Ritsuka was the only one there. The boy had confirmed it, too. Ristuka said he was Beloved, he was the one who asked for Soubi’s company… He was Beloved…
“You see, Soubi-kun, my Ritsuka has apparently deceived you.” Seimei began his explanation with a light mocking tone. “He told you that he was Beloved but the truth is that he has assumed my codename and used it to ask for you.” He stopped, enjoying the sight of Soubi’s quite obvious shock. “I was introduced to the Seven Moons three years ago, when I assumed my father’s position in our company after his passing. I was intrigued, I must admit, and so I become a member of it. I never had the chance to use it, though, for I am almost constantly occupied by menial task and of course…” He paused to smile. Soubi could see that this time it was a little more genuine though no less dangerous and frightening. “Ritsuka.”
Soubi watched the young man warily. He wished he was being lied to but he could sense that this was the truth. Seimei wasn’t the kind of person who made up lies; he was the kind who twisted the truth to fit his convenience. Seimei wouldn’t come here just to lie to Soubi, he came to expose the painful truth.
“I left for Europe several months ago to attend a certain business. Before my departure, I have arranged for Ritsuka to stay in the mansion until my return. I could not leave him at home. You see, our mother is not one you would call very stable. She is especially difficult toward Ritsuka. I believe you have seen the results of her ‘affection’ toward him.”
Soubi’s breath caught, recalling the sight of Ritsuka’s tiny wounded body. So Ritsuka lied after all. They were not wounds from carelessness. He had been abused by his own mother. Was that why he was reluctant to tell Soubi? Was that why he lied? Was he trying to protect her? Was he unwilling to trust Soubi? The idea tore Soubi more than he thought it would. Was his feelings unreturned after all?
“I carefully arranged so that Ritsuka’s whereabouts remained unknown. Only several people know his position; the servants I ordered to take care of him quietly behind our mother’s back. The plan went well until several days ago when she discovered him. Thankfully some servants had been quick to persuade her to return home and I believed that there should be no more problem. Aside from that error, I thought I have been careful. But I made a slight mistake.” There, Seimei paused. His smile faltered slightly and he seemed upset. He seemed to be angry to himself, to mistakes he should not have been capable of making. “Being left alone, naturally Ritsuka felt restless. He tried to contact me several times but I was too occupied with work. It was then that he remembered this ‘club’ I once told him about. He recalled that I am a member and used my codename to ask for a company. I suppose it was by accident that he asked for you.” He glanced at Soubi coldly, assessing what he was worth. “His intention, as I discovered last night, was to gain my attention and get a company. He knew that sooner or later I would take notice of this. It took me a while before my assistant pointed out certain bills that I did not immediately recognize. I then realized that it was Ritsuka’s way of getting my attention so I went home as soon as possible. But it seems like I was late after all.”
Seimei stopped in front of Soubi, peering down at him haughtily. Soubi felt intimidated but held his ground. He could not lose to this man. He must not lose to him. Not when he knew the price at stake was Ritsuka.
“Tell me, Soubi-kun, were you the one who took Ritsuka?”
Soubi nearly winced at the hatred in the voice. But he kept his eyes on Seimei’s as he gave his answer. He would not lose Ritsuka to this person. “Yes.”
Seimei smiled but there was no mirth in his eyes, only blinding rage. Soubi felt cold suddenly. His instinct, honed from years living on the street, felt that danger was near. “I must thank you for your lessons. Ritsuka was so delighted to have learnt how to please me.” He took a step back from Soubi, still smiling that frightening smile. “Stand up, please, Soubi-kun.”
Soubi obeyed with only a brief second of hesitance. What was this man up to? He glanced questioningly when Seimei ordered him to unbutton his shirt but the look on the young man’s eyes told him to keep his silence. He quenched his loathing beneath a mask of coldness that Seimei, too, assumed.
“You are an excellent teacher and Ritsuka was a brilliant pupil. He has indeed surpassed my expectations last night.” He let the pain stabbed Soubi’s heart before continuing. Seimei stepped a little closer to Soubi, watching the defined muscles of Soubi’s torso. But there was disgust in his eyes, as proven by his reluctance to touch Soubi as if unwilling to be soiled by him. “But Soubi-kun, you have stolen what is mine to take.” Seimei reached into his pocket. Soubi didn’t let the tension showed in his body but he knew that Seimei could clearly feel his fear. The dark gleam in his eyes told him that he was enjoying Soubi’s trepidation. “You have taken him. My Ritsuka. I find it difficult to forgive.” The sharp metal glinted under the light but Soubi still did not flinch. He would not show his fear openly to this person. He would not lose. He would not give Ritsuka away. “Ritsuka is mine.”
Soubi barely felt the pain. He was silent when he felt the first sting on his vulnerable flesh. He let Seimei drew his rage, his hatred, his envy, his revenge on him. He knew it was the least he could do to pay for his sins. He also knew it showed the tiny victory he stole from Seimei. So he allowed Seimei to do as he pleased, mingled his pain with pleasure, humiliated him, hurt him over and over again. His battered body was not numb, Seimei made sure of that, he made sure that Soubi could sense every single hatred he felt for him and every single victory he took back from him.
The physical emptiness was nothing, the pain ignorable. He stared to the ceiling blankly as Seimei got dressed, not wanting to give Seimei the pleasure of seeing him break down. The young man smoothed his suit from the wrinkles and spared a pitying glance to Soubi who was lying bare on the previously white sheet, tangled in the web of thorns he had cast around himself in his search for what should not be his. For a while Soubi felt relieved that this was over and he started to plan stealing Ritsuka away from Seimei’s grasp, took him away where there would only be the two of them and be happy after an eternity of pain. But those dreams were too good to come true.
“I will see to it that you will not lay your eyes, touch him, or speak to him ever again. Ritsuka is mine and I will take what rightfully belongs to me.” He gave Soubi a cold look that clearly conveyed his loathing, showing Soubi the true monster he was. “Good bye, Soubi-kun.”
*
Kio was the first to find Soubi. He immediately called for help when he saw the bloody mess surrounding his friend and the wounds covering his slender body. Soubi’s blank stare and unresponsiveness worried him. Was he in a shock? Was he all right? Kio wanted to know but the paramedics told him to leave and left Soubi in their care. His protests fell to deaf ears. Nagisa pushed him out of the room none too gently and slammed the door in his face, finalizing the rejection.
Kio fidgeted outside the room, impatiently waiting for the results. What had happened? A guest had come for him last night, Kio heard. Had that person done it to Soubi? Anger rose within the green haired young man. Ritsu should’ve been more careful! Hadn’t he promised this would never happen to any of his employees? Hadn’t he promised them no more danger the street had been presenting them? Wasn’t that why they all agreed to work with him?
“How is he doing?”
Kio glared at his employer. His hands fisted at his sides as he allowed anger to overtake him. “You promised us this would never happen! You said you will never tolerate this here!”
“I did.” Ritsu answered quietly. He looked at the closed door and while he seemed unperturbed by the circumstance, Kio sensed that he was upset, disturbed by the fact that someone had slipped past his monitor enough to ruin Soubi. Though he didn’t show or say it, Kio felt that he was slightly guilty of what had befallen Soubi. The man, too, hadn’t seen nor wished for it to come. This thought curbed Kio’s anger slightly and he shut his mouth to stop himself from blaming Ritsu more. It wasn’t entirely the man’s fault though it would’ve been easier to blame it all on him. Even Ritsu had been fooled this time.
“Nagisa-sensei, how is Soubi?” Kio asked hurriedly when Nagisa stepped out of the room.
“He has lost quite a lot of blood. The wounds are only skin deep though, neither ruptured any of his vital veins or organs. It might take a while for the scars to heal though and I’m not sure it’s not going to leave marks.” Nagisa glanced at the door nonchalantly. It was a well known fact that the doctor never liked Soubi much though she denied that it was due to her jealousy of the amount of attention Ritsu had on the blond. She did admit that she felt little pity when she saw Soubi’s bloodied form but then again, she was rarely empathetic. “He’s still in shock. He wouldn’t talk or move but other than that, he’s fine.”
Ritsu nodded. “Thank you, Nagisa.”
Nagisa nodded back though she was obviously displeased that Ritsu dismissed her so early after her duty was done. Why should she expect the cold man to ask her to stay longer, though? It was clear that he only let her stay so long for her medical skill and lack of questions just as he only needed Soubi for the money he could make for him. But was it Ritsu’s only motive in taking Soubi in? The thought made Nagisa feel more than slightly bitter. “The boy was lucky to be alive. A little longer than that and he might’ve died… but then again, seeing his mental condition right now, he might not want to live much longer. Good evening, Ritsu.”
*
It came out as more than a little surprise when Ritsu assigned Kio to care for Soubi. While Nagisa’s loud protests and insults to Ritsu did unnerve him, Kio wasn’t going to miss the opportunity. He spent many hours with Soubi, taking care for him when the blond was obviously not inclined to do so himself. The questions came soon enough, first as soft enquiries then agitated demands. Kio begged, glared, threatened, but Soubi refused to answer. What was the point? What would it bring him? Ritsuka was taken away from him. He knew no force could defeat Seimei’s insane possessiveness. He would never see the boy again.
“Leave us alone, please.”
The voice no longer had the effect it used to have on him. Soubi fixed his eyes on the ceiling above, refusing to acknowledge the new presence. He sensed hesitation before the door opened the closed, leaving him alone with his employer.
Ritsu went to the window, watching the beautiful view outside before turning to face Soubi. He was being assessed, he knew, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t care anymore. He couldn’t even find a will to be offended and to hate. All he could feel was this blankness, this deep dark abyss in his heart that nothing and no one could alleviate but Ritsuka.
Ritsuka. The name brought so much pain to Soubi so he closed his eyes. His lovely Ritsuka. His lovely Ritsuka who would never be his. Ritsuka. Ritsuka. Ritsuka.
“Aoyagi Seimei is the famous young leader of Aoyagi co. which he inherited at a very tender age. Against all expectations, he performs his duty so well that the company is far more prosperous than when his father leads it. His personal life was little known but he was celebrated as a kind, wise, mature young man.” Ritsu paused, peering down to Soubi who was trying to hold back any kind of reaction from hearing the damned name. “He hardly seemed like someone prone to violence however it seems like we have all made the wrong assumption.” He stopped again. Soubi could sense him exuding the authoritative aura that had drawn him and bind him down many years ago. He closed his eyes, trying to ignore it vainly but Ritsu wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer this time. “Who is Beloved?”
What was the point? What was the point of lying? What was the point of telling the truth? Ritsuka had been taken away from him. He was never to see the boy again. There was nothing at stake but the bittersweet memory of a boy he loved but could never have.
“What is the point?” He whispered. Days of silence had roughened his voice, making him sound as broken as he felt.
“Tell me.” Ritsu commanded; soft, cold, emotionless.
Soubi closed his eyes, knowing his employer would not leave without an answer. He could not gather the strength to lie. The more he thought of Ritsuka, the more pain he felt. His heart felt like it would burst from the fear, hatred, anger, jealousy, love, everything that Ritsuka introduced him to, everything he wished he never knew yet needed to know. What was the point of lying? What was the point of telling the truth? Ritsuka would be with him in distant memory, a sacred place in his soul he would worship every second for the rest of his life. He would be happy with his brother, his lover, and he would forget Soubi who loved him, adored him, worshipped him so much he couldn’t live without him.
The truth, Soubi.
The truth was… he loved Beloved. No, not Seimei. Not the demon in disguise. It’s Ritsuka, the sweet, innocent nymph he had tainted with his sinful love. And now he had fallen to the lap of the seductive demon who would only break him with his need to possess and take and Soubi could only observe in loneliness, in tears because it was his fault somehow and he would never stop loving Ritsuka even though he would never have him in his arm again.
Ritsu said nothing for a long moment, letting Soubi soak in the words he had forbidden himself from saying. Soubi lay vulnerable, bare, pained more than he knew he could ever be. In his mind he chanted only one name that warded away the dark despair from completely taking over his soul. Ritsuka. Ritsuka. Ritsuka. Ritsuka. Ritsuka…
“I see.” Ritsu muttered. He went to the door without sparing another glance at his employee. As his hand touched the doorknob, he paused. “I will leave for Italy in three days. If you recover in time, I might allow you to… accompany me.” He looked at Soubi over his shoulder, watching disdain crossing his face briefly. “And who knows, you might be able to once again see your beloved Ritsuka. Make your choice well, Soubi, and good night.”
TBC
A/N: seven pages with a lot of goodbyes because I am going away. Will miss your reviews greatly!