Philosophical Rambling
My brain is absolutely full to bursting, and I'm not sure what to make of it. For the first time in ages I have the urge to write again- I had the idea for a short story earlier, and it's currently festering in my over-ripe brain as such things are wont to do. It's not terribly orginal, so I may never write it. However I may find it theraputic, so I may change my mind. Who knows?
I also have gone back to reading the eastern philosophies again, and which I've been neglecting for a while. I'd read a bit of Republic by Plato, and some of Marquis De Sade's philosophical texts such as "Dialogue Between a Priest and a Dying Man", but of the eastern philosophies I've read none. I love reading them, even if I have one very fundamental problem with most of them.
That problem is that all forms of buddhism, which is my primary insterest, and the forms of yoga and tantra which I am familiar with, all have one thing in common. They abhor the practice of eating meat.
Admittedly, my personal spiritual beliefes are a strange collage which I have developed over the years from all the reading that I have done and observations that I have made in my short life. I suppose I fall somewhere in the agnostic catagory; organized religion has never made sense to me. I suppose that is part of why I've always been facinated with Zen in particular. A large part of Zen's focus is upon the sitting of Zazen, or achieving enlightenment through the practice of solitary meditations. But I digress.
Anyway, none of the eastern religions fit me because before everything else I've a firm belief in nature and evolution. People who know me well will laugh when I say I beleive in nature, because they know that I abhor it as a rule. Being out of doors, in sunlight in particular, disgusts me. What I mean by this, I suppose, is that every human is the product of the enviorment in which they were raised. Every human lives in his own world, has his own private nature and set of beliefes, standards and dreams. In general, humans are meant by means of millions of years of evolution to be omnivirous; we are meant to eat both meat and vegetables. The Buddhists beleive that harming anything is bad karma; I strongly doubt that ancient Buddhists had any concept of over-population! If humans as a whole were to give up eating meat, we'd be innundated by cows, chickens, and pigs. They'd breed freely, (as in fact we humans shamefully do now, as we're at the top of the food chain) and where would we be then? Human over-population is another matter entirely, definately reserved for a differnt post.
So I suppose that I'm very pagan in some ways then. I beleive that things travel in cycles, and in a certain natural order to things. I'm certain from observing my own behavior and the behavior of others over many years that the sun and moon tides affect they way people act. This is a well documented fact, both in the rise of hospital visits around the full moon, and in the phychological condition known as seasonal affective disorder. And as a woman, of course my life travels in thirteen twenty-eight day cycles. I mark the solstices and equinoxes although I do not celebrate them.
There are however many eastern concepts with which I agree. I was unfortunately raised with a very mid-western and therefore rather christian view of sex, although intelectually, I agree with the eastern principles on the matter. I'm slowly trying to break out of that mold.
I suppose what everything comes down to is really that you just have to do the best you can with what you have and leave the rest to Karma. All of these things fit together quite neatly in my head, but make little sense at all as I type them out. I beleive in sparing pain where possible, but inflicting it unmercifuly if the situation calls for it. I beleive every human is really their own island- as I said earlier, we are all born, live and die completely in our own selfish worlds. We've got to figure things out for ourselves, and only through close examiniation of one's own soul can this be achieved. One must understand one's own mind thoroughly before we can attempt to understand anything or anyone else. It is such that I view most of the human race with a great deal of sadness. Beleiving as I do that people are all locked in thier own bubble-enclosed worlds I see people straining to get rid of that loneliness by trying to conform to the world view, instead of taking a hard look at themselves to see what makes them tick.
It is through taking this hard and very painful look at ourselves that we become aquainted with everything that has made us what we are over the years; all the good things and all the bad things that we have gone through and suffered have come together to contruct everything about ourselves in any given moment. It makes up what we beleive, how we see other people, what defines our motivations and our dreams. When we become intimately aquainted with these things, all the wonderful traits and hideous faults that each of us has, we become more ourselves! It is through knowing ourselves completely that the film that makes up our private world-bubble thins, and allows us to meet and bond with other individuals like ourselves. Perhaps there the only real romance left in my soul is the beleife also that there is a time, a place and person for everyone. And I do beleive in Karma. If your Karma is good through hard work, you'll find those three things if you know yourself well enough to figure out what they are when they are staring you in the face. Tis such things that make life worth living! Anyway, it's late and I'm becoming incoherent. I have so much to say, my brain is so full; I can't seem to organize all of it right now.
I also have gone back to reading the eastern philosophies again, and which I've been neglecting for a while. I'd read a bit of Republic by Plato, and some of Marquis De Sade's philosophical texts such as "Dialogue Between a Priest and a Dying Man", but of the eastern philosophies I've read none. I love reading them, even if I have one very fundamental problem with most of them.
That problem is that all forms of buddhism, which is my primary insterest, and the forms of yoga and tantra which I am familiar with, all have one thing in common. They abhor the practice of eating meat.
Admittedly, my personal spiritual beliefes are a strange collage which I have developed over the years from all the reading that I have done and observations that I have made in my short life. I suppose I fall somewhere in the agnostic catagory; organized religion has never made sense to me. I suppose that is part of why I've always been facinated with Zen in particular. A large part of Zen's focus is upon the sitting of Zazen, or achieving enlightenment through the practice of solitary meditations. But I digress.
Anyway, none of the eastern religions fit me because before everything else I've a firm belief in nature and evolution. People who know me well will laugh when I say I beleive in nature, because they know that I abhor it as a rule. Being out of doors, in sunlight in particular, disgusts me. What I mean by this, I suppose, is that every human is the product of the enviorment in which they were raised. Every human lives in his own world, has his own private nature and set of beliefes, standards and dreams. In general, humans are meant by means of millions of years of evolution to be omnivirous; we are meant to eat both meat and vegetables. The Buddhists beleive that harming anything is bad karma; I strongly doubt that ancient Buddhists had any concept of over-population! If humans as a whole were to give up eating meat, we'd be innundated by cows, chickens, and pigs. They'd breed freely, (as in fact we humans shamefully do now, as we're at the top of the food chain) and where would we be then? Human over-population is another matter entirely, definately reserved for a differnt post.
So I suppose that I'm very pagan in some ways then. I beleive that things travel in cycles, and in a certain natural order to things. I'm certain from observing my own behavior and the behavior of others over many years that the sun and moon tides affect they way people act. This is a well documented fact, both in the rise of hospital visits around the full moon, and in the phychological condition known as seasonal affective disorder. And as a woman, of course my life travels in thirteen twenty-eight day cycles. I mark the solstices and equinoxes although I do not celebrate them.
There are however many eastern concepts with which I agree. I was unfortunately raised with a very mid-western and therefore rather christian view of sex, although intelectually, I agree with the eastern principles on the matter. I'm slowly trying to break out of that mold.
I suppose what everything comes down to is really that you just have to do the best you can with what you have and leave the rest to Karma. All of these things fit together quite neatly in my head, but make little sense at all as I type them out. I beleive in sparing pain where possible, but inflicting it unmercifuly if the situation calls for it. I beleive every human is really their own island- as I said earlier, we are all born, live and die completely in our own selfish worlds. We've got to figure things out for ourselves, and only through close examiniation of one's own soul can this be achieved. One must understand one's own mind thoroughly before we can attempt to understand anything or anyone else. It is such that I view most of the human race with a great deal of sadness. Beleiving as I do that people are all locked in thier own bubble-enclosed worlds I see people straining to get rid of that loneliness by trying to conform to the world view, instead of taking a hard look at themselves to see what makes them tick.
It is through taking this hard and very painful look at ourselves that we become aquainted with everything that has made us what we are over the years; all the good things and all the bad things that we have gone through and suffered have come together to contruct everything about ourselves in any given moment. It makes up what we beleive, how we see other people, what defines our motivations and our dreams. When we become intimately aquainted with these things, all the wonderful traits and hideous faults that each of us has, we become more ourselves! It is through knowing ourselves completely that the film that makes up our private world-bubble thins, and allows us to meet and bond with other individuals like ourselves. Perhaps there the only real romance left in my soul is the beleife also that there is a time, a place and person for everyone. And I do beleive in Karma. If your Karma is good through hard work, you'll find those three things if you know yourself well enough to figure out what they are when they are staring you in the face. Tis such things that make life worth living! Anyway, it's late and I'm becoming incoherent. I have so much to say, my brain is so full; I can't seem to organize all of it right now.