WIP Amnesty Day
Be afriad. I went digging through my hard drive. Of course all my WIPs are back from my days in the Rurouni Kenshin fandom. The reason I left was because I wrote something I didn't think I could... at risk of the horrible pun, top. And I couldn't. THAT fic is:
Title: Power Exchange
Fandom: Rurouni Kenshin
Pairing: Saitou Hajime / Sagara Sanosuke
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Bondage, Pure smut, PWP. Writen for my Demoness-hood initiation.
Anyway, my old Demoness Sisters Meimi, Yuri and Jaana convinced me to write a prequel, about Saitou's initiation into the Shinsen Gumi... Very briefly spell checked, never beta-ed. That fic:
Title: Untitled
Fandom: Rurouni Kenshin
Pairing: Hijikata Toshizo / Saitou Hajime
Rating: NC-17
Warning: More bondage, rimming, mild non-con
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
You've pushed too far
And now you've lost control can't you see-
You thought you were the master
But you're down on your knees.
--"Where Good Girls Go to Die"--
London After Midnight
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Ne, Saitou."
Dammit. It was late. He'd almost been asleep. He had to work in the morning. Dammit. Saitou slowly opened one amber eye to glare at the person who shared his bed.
"What is it, Kitten?"
"I was wondering... what was it like for you with Shinsen Gumi back in Kyoto during the war? You know, with Kenshin and the Ishin Shishi running amok."
Saitou allowed himself an inward groan. Sanosuke really had terrible timing. Despite appearances, he was beginning to feel his age. It made him remember how very young Sano was, and him...he'd be 35 on the first day of the New Year. He needed at least five hours of sleep at least every few days. He let the eye he'd opened slide closed again. "You ask too many questions, Kitten."
Sitting up, Sano huffed loudly. "You're not going to tell me, are you?"
"It was a pain in the ass. Now go to sleep." Satisfied that would close the issue, Saitou rolled over presenting only his back for perusal.
~*~*~*~
Sleep eluded Saitou as only something intangible could. Time seemed to have screeched to a standstill in the thick darkness.
He was not the sort of person to dwell needlessly on things that could not be changed. However, Sano's innocent question had caused some rather unpleasant memories to resurface. The younger police officers sometimes asked similar questions of him, and yet this particular memory had remained well forgotten, until now.
It replayed itself over and over again in his head, the recollection so vivid as to be painful. He closed his eyes against it, only to have it sharpen and twist in his brain.
It was necessary, he told himself. He couldn't allow himself to come to regret it. That choice had shaped the rest of his life, and literally made him what he was today. No- he couldn't regret it. Truly, it had been an honor, and had no permanent price, except for the memories that it had created.
He'd been 21 for quite a while- spring was just blossoming into summer in Kyoto then. That day had been unremarkable. Or perhaps it was the event itself that made the previous portion of the day seem unremarkable? It was rare that any day in Kyoto at that time passed without something of importance happening.
Vice-Commander Hijikata Toshizo had approached him in the garden that lay inside the property of the inn they were currently using as their headquarters, his beautiful face frozen and devoid of expression. He'd given his news, good news, without the slightest change of expression except the movement of his mouth.
"Saitou-san." He'd said, "You know of the organization of the troops, and that we are appointing a captain to each unit, yes?" He'd nodded, and kept his face blank. "You were suggested as captain for one of the units."
He remembered Hijikata perfectly. That day, the sun had glinted off his long glossy black locks, pulled tightly as they were into a high ponytail. A thick fringe of dark bangs fell over a smooth forehead, and past elegantly arched dark brows, stopping short of obscuring his vivid, thickly lashed blue-green eyes. The pale, slightly luminescent skin of his face was completely unmarred- a difficult feat indeed in their profession. Dramatic high cheekbones, a strait, slender nose, and a generous mouth completed his features. He was a beautiful man. Pity he was so cold.
He'd found himself absently thinking that same thing that day, even as the Vice-Commander had continued speaking to him. "We already know that you'll follow the Articles to the letter."(1)
Saitou remembered himself, so very young, agreeing quickly to that. It was almost embarrassing when he thought back on it.
"However, there will be a test." Saitou had looked sharply at his superior then, and thought he'd seen the briefest of flinches. He schooled his features back into their normal expression with no small amount of difficulty. He couldn't ask what this 'test' was either- he wasn't a coward, and certainly didn't want to appear to be so.
"A test." He'd repeated blankly, not a question, not really a statement either.
"Yes." To this day he couldn't be sure, but he thought then that the Vice-Commander had swallowed thickly, as though something was lodged in his throat. "Be here by the time specified." He was handed a small, thin square of parchment, address and time printed in neat, exact handwriting.
He took in the address, distance, and calculated the time it would take to arrive on foot without adverse encounters. During this, he stared unseeing at the paper in hand. Calculations completed, he raised his eyes, only to see Vice-Commander Hijikata's slender retreating form disappear behind the boundary wall of the property.
Glancing at the unassuming scrap of paper, he realized something about the address he'd been given. He couldn't believe that he hadn't noticed it the first time. The house was smack in the center of the Shimabara pleasure quarter. He looked up again to the section of wall that Hijikata had disappeared behind, as if it could somehow give him answers to some of the strange questions floating around in his head. Unfortunately, part of taking orders is NOT asking questions of your superiors.
~*~*~
The house wasn't particular at all- in fact; its outside was rather plain. At this hour, although it wasn't late, lantern light glowed through the shoji, making the large house appear welcoming.
He rapped politely at the frame before stepping in through the open shoji, into the house's pleasantly lit interior. Instead of being greeted by a well-dressed courtesan, an exquisitely beautiful foreign teenaged boy silently bowed to him, and gestured for him to follow. He was sure the boy had been told to look for him- the Shinsen Gumi uniform was hard to miss.
He was led down a flight of stairs, and partially if not wholly underground. As they went deeper, instinct began to scream at him- being closed in on all sides was something he was completely unused to. He'd never seen anything like this underground stairway- the lantern the boy carried was their only source of light. At the bottom, the stairs widened into a large room. The floor was lightly padded, and the walls and ceiling had been lined with dark wooden boards, polished to a lustrous sheen. A large, comfortable-looking western couch sat against one wall and several armchairs flanked it in the corners, shiny wooden in-tables the same hue as the wall sat between them. Beautiful glass lamps with crystal baubles dangling from their shades cast a soft radiance on the room.
Construction of this room alone must have cost a fortune- it contents probably several more.
Hijikata stood waiting in the middle of room, ignoring the luxurious western furniture, and wore comfortable civilian clothing. His daisho was nowhere to be seen. He realized suddenly that they had not taken his from him at the door.
"I know you must be confused, although you are hiding it very well. And so far, you've asked no questions. Admirable."
"Fukuchou..." He wasn't really sure he wanted to know what this place truly was. Even back then, it had taken a lot to spook him. If that was the Vice-Commander's intention, then it worked well.
"This is the test I spoke of. It is to gauge the extent of which you are willing to follow orders- after all, the Captains must be perfectly loyal to us if we are to ever succeed. They were all tested differently, by different people. You have always seemed willing to follow orders, but we've all sensed something unbreakable in you. And while this is not intended to break you exactly, you may find yourself... different... afterwards."
They'd given him an ultimatum it seemed. This test- whatever it was- was obviously going to be something terribly unpleasant. And while the threat of unpleasantness wasn't what worried him, as much as Fukucho's prediction that it may permanently alter him. Even now, although at some point the room itself became distant, Hijikata himself seemed to suddenly possess some sort of ungodly amount of charisma. On the outside he still appeared to be the emotionless man he always was. Although something was very different now- he just couldn't put his finger on it.
It wasn't a conscious decision. He simply found himself kneeling, palms on his knees, waiting for what was going to be demanded of him.
"Your Daisho."
He slipped the pair from him obi, and placed them on the floor, next to him. The silent boy took them, and he could almost feel them leave the room, like they were extensions of his own limbs. A door swung shut- a bolt audibly lowered into place. With each sound and feeling, something was taken from him, although at the time, he couldn't guess what.
Later, he realized that it was his freedom being taken.
Stern fingers had lifted his chin- "You'll take your oath now- if it is unbroken at the end, the title and position of Captain of the 3rd Troop is yours." Somehow, he'd remained steady while those amazing teal-colored eyes ate him alive, his own amber eyes meeting Hijikata's evenly.
"You will obey Commander Kondo Isami and I in all things."
"Yes."
"You will always follow the Articles."
"Yes."
"You will speak of this test to no one- not even Commander Kondo Isami."
Saitou had jumped at that. Was it possible the Commander didn't know how Vice-Commander Hijikata was choosing his Captains? He'd already hesitated too long- the Vice-Commander was eyeing him, waiting.
"Yes."
"Good. And now, the test. Remove your uniform."
He hoped to this day, that on the outside nothing of the turmoil he'd felt had shown. Had his shoulders drooped? Had he held the breath he'd just drawn too long? There was no way to know. Without a word, he'd stood, shrugged out of the haori, and unfastened the obi on his hakama. He'd folded both neatly before removing his kimono. Even his tabi were laid out neatly.
After he'd stripped, naked skin and old scars gleaming in the dim lamplight, he'd returned to the traditional kneeling position, as though he wasn't completely bare in front of his superior.
The Vice-Commander seemed to appraise him then- as one would look closely at the teeth of a horse to judge it's age, he was so inspected. His chin was raised, turned this way and that, his hair untied and felt, paced around to be ogled from all angles. He'd always felt himself to be a patient man, but under this level of scrutiny, even he was starting to break. The words hit him suddenly- they were the absolute last thing he'd been expecting.
"You're very sexy, in a dark, harsh sort of way. I chose well. Now, close you eyes."
Doing as instructed, darkness surrounded him. Something brushed his eyelids, and the bridge of his nose- he flinched, if only slightly. Whatever it was was tied securely behind his head.
Blindfolded. He'd been blindfolded! And intense surge of fear leapt in his gut. Instinctively his lips had parted, in an abortive attempt to cry out, although he did not. This wasn't supposed to happen.
Something was buckled tightly around his neck, and onto each wrist- every item held the same texture- Leather. His wrists had been linked together in front of him, and a rope or chain of no more then three inches connected them. More then likely it was a chain, or a metal link- he could break a rope. He was instructed to put his hands behind his neck, which he did, albeit haltingly. Every second that passed seemed like an eon, shrouded in darkness, and bound as he was.
For a long time he sensed no movement around him- although there was no way to accurately judge the passage of time, he guessed it had probably been about fifteen minutes. Not a movement, and not a sound. Not a single sign of life!
As the beginnings of panic set in, a gentle hand ran delicately through his hair. It smoothed the shorter fringe that always fell into his eyes away from his face, although they sprang back immediately. Somehow, this gesture soothed his ragged nerves.
That hand drifted; it flowed down the hard corded muscles of his neck and shoulders, over taut pectorals, past a ridged abdomen, to rest at a straining thigh. There it rested for a moment, seeming to simply enjoy the mere texture of his skin.
Saitou cringed in humiliation- not only was he BLUSHING like a school boy, but he felt his manhood stir at the proximity of that gliding hand.
"Wha-" He was shushed instantly.
"Not a word, Saitou-kun. Don't make me gag you."
This... This was too much. If he hadn't been so absolutely mindlessly shocked, he probably would have laughed out loud. He understood what was happening now. He was in a brothel- no; he was UNDERNIETH a brothel where the sound couldn't carry- naked, and tied up. What was going to be done to him? Fuck. Besides feeling like an ignorant jackass, he was actually starting to be afraid. Fear was not an emotion he'd spent a lot of time with. He figured by the time this was over, he and Fear would be well acquainted.
Perhaps he was trembling, because the hand that still rested gently on his thigh disappeared, and the one that covered his mouth slid over to cup his cheek in what could almost be thought as tenderness.
"I won't hurt you, Saitou-kun. There are different definitions of rape- I view it as an assertion of power, and that does not mean that it has to be painful. Quite the opposite, in fact."
Those words did not ease him. That didn't mean he wouldn't still be taken against his will- that just meant it wouldn't hurt as much.
So this was why the oath was given before the test. He turned his head, away from the rough palm, away from any contact.
"You have my word that I will not purposely injure you." Fingers threaded through the back of his hair, tilting his head back, although he could not see. He could feel the other set of fingers tracing his lower lip. They lingered for a moment, before knuckles gently grazed his jawbone.
"You'll enjoy this, if you let yourself..." The hand disappeared from his face altogether, moving to and trailing up the inside of his thigh.
He didn't recall his skin being so sensitive to touch before- perhaps being without his sight had made his other senses more acute. The roughened fingertips did not stop there, but glided to his hip. There was a pause- it could have been two seconds or five minutes, he didn't know. He sensed the movement then, but didn't know what it was, until a warm mouth, his goddamned SUPERIOR'S mouth, engulfed the half-erect length of his manhood.
It was about then that his brain completely froze. The absolute absurdness of the situation coupled with the complete inescapability was just too much.
Distantly he'd heard someone moan- Had that been his voice? The pain caused by biting down hard on his lower lip cleared his mind somewhat. He had to endure this for whatever the duration would be, so he might as well make the best of it.
This was actually... quite different from any other time this had been done to him. This was being done by a man- the main difference from those other times- And a man knows what a man likes. A man would know that the head was the most sensitive, and therefore to focus there and not on the shaft... he would know to delve his tongue into the tiny slitted opening there, and just how hard to graze his teeth...
Vice-Commander Hijikata obviously knew. He also must have known that most men wouldn't last long under that kind of assault, because he drew away. Saitou growled in protest, not expecting the vicious slap that cuffed his cheek.
"Remember your place! I expect you to stay fully erect from now until I say otherwise, stimulated or not. I will enjoy punishing you should you choose to fail."
Choose to fail. Saitou gritted his teeth. Who -chooses- to fail? So he had to do this through sheer force of will? He could manage that. He pressed his eyes closed tighter behind the blindfold, and remembered the beautiful young girl he'd met while visiting the Daimyo in Aizu(2).
Somehow, she didn't spark his interest the way that the Vice-Commander did. There was something mysterious about him. What exactly were his motives in choosing HIM for this test? Had he been watching him, waiting for his chance?
It gave him a certain small ego boost to think that the Vice-Commander had been lusting after him. Without meaning to, and also without realizing it, his mouth twisted into a smirk of epic proportions.
Fingers like a steel vice captured his chin, wrenching his face upwards. "I don't know what you have to smirk about, Saitou-kun. You're in quite a precarious position here. You can't see, and your hands are bound... I can do anything to you I want..." His chin was released when he schooled his features back into a suitably blank expression.
His left nipple was seized violently between two twisting fingers, "I think I should teach you some humility. I'll be sure not to do anything that will scar." That last sentence was spoken with the sharp twinge of sarcasm. Fear prickled the hair on the back of his neck into rising, as he managed not to yelp when the cruel fingers changed sides.
"Stand up, and raise your hands above your head. QUICKLY." The last word was snapped out when Saitou hesitated, slight as it was. He rose out his squat with as much dignity as his could muster, and lifted his arms above his head. The link binding his hands together was in turn hooked to something above his head, and adjusted it so that his arms were just barely slack.
"Spread your legs wide." He wanted to shriek, to struggle, and most of all, he wanted to break the Vice-Commander's perfectly strait nose. He'd sworn to cooperate, but he hadn't known that it would be like this. He rested his head against one arm, his thoughts of resistance one by one draining away like leaves washed downstream.
Hands trailed down his back, massaging the muscles there, smoothing them until the tension in him was gone- this was hardly what he'd expected as "teaching him some humility". The sharp ridges were slowly, but surely worked out of the muscles that ran along his spine, his shoulder muscles soothed smooth once again. Finally after many long minutes, all ten fingers of both hands trailed delicately down the ridges of his spine, making the hair raise on the back of his neck again.
Those roughly callused fingers smoothed down over his buttocks, and the Vice-Commander pressed himself full length against his back, cupping one lean muscled cheek in each hand.
"You probably wondering -how- I'm going to instill that humility in you, how exactly I'm going to torture you without leaving marks or bruises of any kind. I did promise not to injure you in any way, did I not?"
"The answer, Saitou-kun, is simply this- You are a guarded person- never have you been caught pleasuring yourself, as normal young men of your age do- You do not frequent the Pleasure Quarter. Your face, although not entirely expressionless, nonetheless is a mask of veiled ego and confidence. You appear to be almost as unreadable and cold as people assume me to be."
"I'm going to change that, if only for this small space of time. You'll cry out at the things I do to you, and you'll beg me for more. And even though you'll LOVE what's being done, you'll HATE yourself for giving in. You can tell yourself now that you won't give in, but you will. You will."
Fingernails were drawn sharply over the sensitive skin of his inner thighs, and then drawn around to his rear and over again, just as sharp as before. He drew his next breath in sharply through bared teeth. Sharp teeth sunk deeply into the soft flesh of his neck.
He could not bear this humiliation. He could not. Did Hijikata just expect him to submit like... a child would to his parent? Well yes, he probably did. That's why he'd had him take that damn oath. He'd never felt quite so stupid in his life. He certainly knew he'd not be taking any more oaths without knowing what they were for! His cursed his stupidity again when a callused finger traced the cleft of his buttocks.
He knew with a certainty now that he would be raped. Although Hijikata had told him as much he hadn't really believed him. He knew because Hijikata had pulled away, and was now pulling his legs even farther apart, his feet tucked under leather straps and buckled to the floor. Horror of a kind he'd never felt before settled in the pit of his stomach and ran with freezing cold feet up and down his spine, his skin now an expanse of gooseflesh.
How does one go about accepting that they are about to be raped, regardless of how much the rapist tries to make it pleasurable? In its own way that made it even more unthinkable.
Strong hands rested on his hips- not gently, but not cruel either. Just enough to let him know that he couldn't escape what was to be done to him. He sensed the motion when his superior fell to his knees behind him.
*No way. NO FUCKING WAY!*
That warm slick tongue pierced him deftly, causing Saitou's already over-stressed nerves to fizzle and go out. That had to be what happened. Because suddenly it was seemed he was trapped inside his body, and he had no control over it, as if he were merely watching. He had no control over the fact that he was moaning like a cheap whore, and that his face showed everything too. He was loving it, just like Hijikata said he would. He WAS moaning and crying for more, and he DID hate himself for it.
It seemed to him, blind as he was, that the world was melting away. A delicate and very skilled hand had gone to work on his now painfully throbbing erection. If this kept up, he was going to orgasm so hard he'd probably pass out. He could only imagine what he looked like now- Sweat dripped off his lean, muscular frame in rivulets, and Kami-sama knew he was probably blushed pink from head to toe. His hair had been untied early on, and it clung wetly to his neck and the side of his face. Every few seconds he'd twitch or shiver- but that was to be expected.
Actually, convulsions were probably a better description of the intense body wracking shudders that were being forced on him now. They only intensified, and soon he was screaming as his orgasm crashed through his brain with a force... that was unimaginable.
Blackness.
"Saitou-kun, you must wake up. We are far from finished, and no matter how flattering it is..."
Saitou blinked. The blindfold was gone. He blinked again, and he seriously thought his eyes would roll out of their sockets. Hijikata stood in front of him, his hand covered in... an unmistakable white substance. He'd stopped speaking, and now certain that Saitou was watching, he delicately licked his hand clean taking special care on his fingers.
He knew what society had taught him to feel, and he knew what his body wanted him to feel. Society would have wanted him to be disgusted, but that was not it at all. He found the gesture so erotic that he was becoming hard again, even after the mind blowing orgasm from merely minutes ago.
"You understand what I meant by 'altered' now, don't you Saitou-kun?"
He blinked again, feeling suddenly rather like a newborn child. Certainly, sex was not new to him, but this variation was completely new. He'd always been a rather classical man, and so far had stuck to rather classical forms of pleasure. Now that he knew better, he wouldn't make that mistake again. He also understood what he'd seen looking at Hijikata earlier- it was not charisma, but thinly veiled and rampant sexuality.
"There is still more to learn Saitou-kun. We can say the test is over, and you certainly did pass. But there is still more I can teach you, if you'd care to learn." He didn't really have to move, or speak to tell his superior that he did indeed want the whole lesson. He was not one to stop short of mastery.
The delicate rose-colored lips of that beautiful face smiled, a real full smile. The Vice-Commander was a beautiful man by any standards, but all of that paled, when he truly smiled. Hijikata stepped forward and pressed himself against Saitou, and kissed him, feeding him back the taste of his own fluids. 'Tis truly amazing how a man's view of life can change in such a short space of time.
He returned his Vice-Commanders kiss with all his young fervor, wanting suddenly to finish the lesson so he could go out and practice it on his own terms.
Notes
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(1) The Shinsen Gumi Articles: in a nutshell "Do this this, this, or this, and you have to commit seppuku." I'm not kidding. More details can be found on this page in Serizawa Kamo's Rurouni Kenshin Translation index: http://victorian.fortunecity.com/stanford/130/bio2.html
(2)This "young girl" is Takagi Tokio, Saitou's future wife. ^^ They were married by the Daimyo of Aizu in 1873, Meiji Era 6. Random note for us Fangirls- Hijikata Toshizo was quite dead by the time Saitou married Tokio ^_~
No, I will NOT finish it.
Title: Power Exchange
Fandom: Rurouni Kenshin
Pairing: Saitou Hajime / Sagara Sanosuke
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Bondage, Pure smut, PWP. Writen for my Demoness-hood initiation.
Anyway, my old Demoness Sisters Meimi, Yuri and Jaana convinced me to write a prequel, about Saitou's initiation into the Shinsen Gumi... Very briefly spell checked, never beta-ed. That fic:
Title: Untitled
Fandom: Rurouni Kenshin
Pairing: Hijikata Toshizo / Saitou Hajime
Rating: NC-17
Warning: More bondage, rimming, mild non-con
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
You've pushed too far
And now you've lost control can't you see-
You thought you were the master
But you're down on your knees.
--"Where Good Girls Go to Die"--
London After Midnight
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Ne, Saitou."
Dammit. It was late. He'd almost been asleep. He had to work in the morning. Dammit. Saitou slowly opened one amber eye to glare at the person who shared his bed.
"What is it, Kitten?"
"I was wondering... what was it like for you with Shinsen Gumi back in Kyoto during the war? You know, with Kenshin and the Ishin Shishi running amok."
Saitou allowed himself an inward groan. Sanosuke really had terrible timing. Despite appearances, he was beginning to feel his age. It made him remember how very young Sano was, and him...he'd be 35 on the first day of the New Year. He needed at least five hours of sleep at least every few days. He let the eye he'd opened slide closed again. "You ask too many questions, Kitten."
Sitting up, Sano huffed loudly. "You're not going to tell me, are you?"
"It was a pain in the ass. Now go to sleep." Satisfied that would close the issue, Saitou rolled over presenting only his back for perusal.
~*~*~*~
Sleep eluded Saitou as only something intangible could. Time seemed to have screeched to a standstill in the thick darkness.
He was not the sort of person to dwell needlessly on things that could not be changed. However, Sano's innocent question had caused some rather unpleasant memories to resurface. The younger police officers sometimes asked similar questions of him, and yet this particular memory had remained well forgotten, until now.
It replayed itself over and over again in his head, the recollection so vivid as to be painful. He closed his eyes against it, only to have it sharpen and twist in his brain.
It was necessary, he told himself. He couldn't allow himself to come to regret it. That choice had shaped the rest of his life, and literally made him what he was today. No- he couldn't regret it. Truly, it had been an honor, and had no permanent price, except for the memories that it had created.
He'd been 21 for quite a while- spring was just blossoming into summer in Kyoto then. That day had been unremarkable. Or perhaps it was the event itself that made the previous portion of the day seem unremarkable? It was rare that any day in Kyoto at that time passed without something of importance happening.
Vice-Commander Hijikata Toshizo had approached him in the garden that lay inside the property of the inn they were currently using as their headquarters, his beautiful face frozen and devoid of expression. He'd given his news, good news, without the slightest change of expression except the movement of his mouth.
"Saitou-san." He'd said, "You know of the organization of the troops, and that we are appointing a captain to each unit, yes?" He'd nodded, and kept his face blank. "You were suggested as captain for one of the units."
He remembered Hijikata perfectly. That day, the sun had glinted off his long glossy black locks, pulled tightly as they were into a high ponytail. A thick fringe of dark bangs fell over a smooth forehead, and past elegantly arched dark brows, stopping short of obscuring his vivid, thickly lashed blue-green eyes. The pale, slightly luminescent skin of his face was completely unmarred- a difficult feat indeed in their profession. Dramatic high cheekbones, a strait, slender nose, and a generous mouth completed his features. He was a beautiful man. Pity he was so cold.
He'd found himself absently thinking that same thing that day, even as the Vice-Commander had continued speaking to him. "We already know that you'll follow the Articles to the letter."(1)
Saitou remembered himself, so very young, agreeing quickly to that. It was almost embarrassing when he thought back on it.
"However, there will be a test." Saitou had looked sharply at his superior then, and thought he'd seen the briefest of flinches. He schooled his features back into their normal expression with no small amount of difficulty. He couldn't ask what this 'test' was either- he wasn't a coward, and certainly didn't want to appear to be so.
"A test." He'd repeated blankly, not a question, not really a statement either.
"Yes." To this day he couldn't be sure, but he thought then that the Vice-Commander had swallowed thickly, as though something was lodged in his throat. "Be here by the time specified." He was handed a small, thin square of parchment, address and time printed in neat, exact handwriting.
He took in the address, distance, and calculated the time it would take to arrive on foot without adverse encounters. During this, he stared unseeing at the paper in hand. Calculations completed, he raised his eyes, only to see Vice-Commander Hijikata's slender retreating form disappear behind the boundary wall of the property.
Glancing at the unassuming scrap of paper, he realized something about the address he'd been given. He couldn't believe that he hadn't noticed it the first time. The house was smack in the center of the Shimabara pleasure quarter. He looked up again to the section of wall that Hijikata had disappeared behind, as if it could somehow give him answers to some of the strange questions floating around in his head. Unfortunately, part of taking orders is NOT asking questions of your superiors.
~*~*~
The house wasn't particular at all- in fact; its outside was rather plain. At this hour, although it wasn't late, lantern light glowed through the shoji, making the large house appear welcoming.
He rapped politely at the frame before stepping in through the open shoji, into the house's pleasantly lit interior. Instead of being greeted by a well-dressed courtesan, an exquisitely beautiful foreign teenaged boy silently bowed to him, and gestured for him to follow. He was sure the boy had been told to look for him- the Shinsen Gumi uniform was hard to miss.
He was led down a flight of stairs, and partially if not wholly underground. As they went deeper, instinct began to scream at him- being closed in on all sides was something he was completely unused to. He'd never seen anything like this underground stairway- the lantern the boy carried was their only source of light. At the bottom, the stairs widened into a large room. The floor was lightly padded, and the walls and ceiling had been lined with dark wooden boards, polished to a lustrous sheen. A large, comfortable-looking western couch sat against one wall and several armchairs flanked it in the corners, shiny wooden in-tables the same hue as the wall sat between them. Beautiful glass lamps with crystal baubles dangling from their shades cast a soft radiance on the room.
Construction of this room alone must have cost a fortune- it contents probably several more.
Hijikata stood waiting in the middle of room, ignoring the luxurious western furniture, and wore comfortable civilian clothing. His daisho was nowhere to be seen. He realized suddenly that they had not taken his from him at the door.
"I know you must be confused, although you are hiding it very well. And so far, you've asked no questions. Admirable."
"Fukuchou..." He wasn't really sure he wanted to know what this place truly was. Even back then, it had taken a lot to spook him. If that was the Vice-Commander's intention, then it worked well.
"This is the test I spoke of. It is to gauge the extent of which you are willing to follow orders- after all, the Captains must be perfectly loyal to us if we are to ever succeed. They were all tested differently, by different people. You have always seemed willing to follow orders, but we've all sensed something unbreakable in you. And while this is not intended to break you exactly, you may find yourself... different... afterwards."
They'd given him an ultimatum it seemed. This test- whatever it was- was obviously going to be something terribly unpleasant. And while the threat of unpleasantness wasn't what worried him, as much as Fukucho's prediction that it may permanently alter him. Even now, although at some point the room itself became distant, Hijikata himself seemed to suddenly possess some sort of ungodly amount of charisma. On the outside he still appeared to be the emotionless man he always was. Although something was very different now- he just couldn't put his finger on it.
It wasn't a conscious decision. He simply found himself kneeling, palms on his knees, waiting for what was going to be demanded of him.
"Your Daisho."
He slipped the pair from him obi, and placed them on the floor, next to him. The silent boy took them, and he could almost feel them leave the room, like they were extensions of his own limbs. A door swung shut- a bolt audibly lowered into place. With each sound and feeling, something was taken from him, although at the time, he couldn't guess what.
Later, he realized that it was his freedom being taken.
Stern fingers had lifted his chin- "You'll take your oath now- if it is unbroken at the end, the title and position of Captain of the 3rd Troop is yours." Somehow, he'd remained steady while those amazing teal-colored eyes ate him alive, his own amber eyes meeting Hijikata's evenly.
"You will obey Commander Kondo Isami and I in all things."
"Yes."
"You will always follow the Articles."
"Yes."
"You will speak of this test to no one- not even Commander Kondo Isami."
Saitou had jumped at that. Was it possible the Commander didn't know how Vice-Commander Hijikata was choosing his Captains? He'd already hesitated too long- the Vice-Commander was eyeing him, waiting.
"Yes."
"Good. And now, the test. Remove your uniform."
He hoped to this day, that on the outside nothing of the turmoil he'd felt had shown. Had his shoulders drooped? Had he held the breath he'd just drawn too long? There was no way to know. Without a word, he'd stood, shrugged out of the haori, and unfastened the obi on his hakama. He'd folded both neatly before removing his kimono. Even his tabi were laid out neatly.
After he'd stripped, naked skin and old scars gleaming in the dim lamplight, he'd returned to the traditional kneeling position, as though he wasn't completely bare in front of his superior.
The Vice-Commander seemed to appraise him then- as one would look closely at the teeth of a horse to judge it's age, he was so inspected. His chin was raised, turned this way and that, his hair untied and felt, paced around to be ogled from all angles. He'd always felt himself to be a patient man, but under this level of scrutiny, even he was starting to break. The words hit him suddenly- they were the absolute last thing he'd been expecting.
"You're very sexy, in a dark, harsh sort of way. I chose well. Now, close you eyes."
Doing as instructed, darkness surrounded him. Something brushed his eyelids, and the bridge of his nose- he flinched, if only slightly. Whatever it was was tied securely behind his head.
Blindfolded. He'd been blindfolded! And intense surge of fear leapt in his gut. Instinctively his lips had parted, in an abortive attempt to cry out, although he did not. This wasn't supposed to happen.
Something was buckled tightly around his neck, and onto each wrist- every item held the same texture- Leather. His wrists had been linked together in front of him, and a rope or chain of no more then three inches connected them. More then likely it was a chain, or a metal link- he could break a rope. He was instructed to put his hands behind his neck, which he did, albeit haltingly. Every second that passed seemed like an eon, shrouded in darkness, and bound as he was.
For a long time he sensed no movement around him- although there was no way to accurately judge the passage of time, he guessed it had probably been about fifteen minutes. Not a movement, and not a sound. Not a single sign of life!
As the beginnings of panic set in, a gentle hand ran delicately through his hair. It smoothed the shorter fringe that always fell into his eyes away from his face, although they sprang back immediately. Somehow, this gesture soothed his ragged nerves.
That hand drifted; it flowed down the hard corded muscles of his neck and shoulders, over taut pectorals, past a ridged abdomen, to rest at a straining thigh. There it rested for a moment, seeming to simply enjoy the mere texture of his skin.
Saitou cringed in humiliation- not only was he BLUSHING like a school boy, but he felt his manhood stir at the proximity of that gliding hand.
"Wha-" He was shushed instantly.
"Not a word, Saitou-kun. Don't make me gag you."
This... This was too much. If he hadn't been so absolutely mindlessly shocked, he probably would have laughed out loud. He understood what was happening now. He was in a brothel- no; he was UNDERNIETH a brothel where the sound couldn't carry- naked, and tied up. What was going to be done to him? Fuck. Besides feeling like an ignorant jackass, he was actually starting to be afraid. Fear was not an emotion he'd spent a lot of time with. He figured by the time this was over, he and Fear would be well acquainted.
Perhaps he was trembling, because the hand that still rested gently on his thigh disappeared, and the one that covered his mouth slid over to cup his cheek in what could almost be thought as tenderness.
"I won't hurt you, Saitou-kun. There are different definitions of rape- I view it as an assertion of power, and that does not mean that it has to be painful. Quite the opposite, in fact."
Those words did not ease him. That didn't mean he wouldn't still be taken against his will- that just meant it wouldn't hurt as much.
So this was why the oath was given before the test. He turned his head, away from the rough palm, away from any contact.
"You have my word that I will not purposely injure you." Fingers threaded through the back of his hair, tilting his head back, although he could not see. He could feel the other set of fingers tracing his lower lip. They lingered for a moment, before knuckles gently grazed his jawbone.
"You'll enjoy this, if you let yourself..." The hand disappeared from his face altogether, moving to and trailing up the inside of his thigh.
He didn't recall his skin being so sensitive to touch before- perhaps being without his sight had made his other senses more acute. The roughened fingertips did not stop there, but glided to his hip. There was a pause- it could have been two seconds or five minutes, he didn't know. He sensed the movement then, but didn't know what it was, until a warm mouth, his goddamned SUPERIOR'S mouth, engulfed the half-erect length of his manhood.
It was about then that his brain completely froze. The absolute absurdness of the situation coupled with the complete inescapability was just too much.
Distantly he'd heard someone moan- Had that been his voice? The pain caused by biting down hard on his lower lip cleared his mind somewhat. He had to endure this for whatever the duration would be, so he might as well make the best of it.
This was actually... quite different from any other time this had been done to him. This was being done by a man- the main difference from those other times- And a man knows what a man likes. A man would know that the head was the most sensitive, and therefore to focus there and not on the shaft... he would know to delve his tongue into the tiny slitted opening there, and just how hard to graze his teeth...
Vice-Commander Hijikata obviously knew. He also must have known that most men wouldn't last long under that kind of assault, because he drew away. Saitou growled in protest, not expecting the vicious slap that cuffed his cheek.
"Remember your place! I expect you to stay fully erect from now until I say otherwise, stimulated or not. I will enjoy punishing you should you choose to fail."
Choose to fail. Saitou gritted his teeth. Who -chooses- to fail? So he had to do this through sheer force of will? He could manage that. He pressed his eyes closed tighter behind the blindfold, and remembered the beautiful young girl he'd met while visiting the Daimyo in Aizu(2).
Somehow, she didn't spark his interest the way that the Vice-Commander did. There was something mysterious about him. What exactly were his motives in choosing HIM for this test? Had he been watching him, waiting for his chance?
It gave him a certain small ego boost to think that the Vice-Commander had been lusting after him. Without meaning to, and also without realizing it, his mouth twisted into a smirk of epic proportions.
Fingers like a steel vice captured his chin, wrenching his face upwards. "I don't know what you have to smirk about, Saitou-kun. You're in quite a precarious position here. You can't see, and your hands are bound... I can do anything to you I want..." His chin was released when he schooled his features back into a suitably blank expression.
His left nipple was seized violently between two twisting fingers, "I think I should teach you some humility. I'll be sure not to do anything that will scar." That last sentence was spoken with the sharp twinge of sarcasm. Fear prickled the hair on the back of his neck into rising, as he managed not to yelp when the cruel fingers changed sides.
"Stand up, and raise your hands above your head. QUICKLY." The last word was snapped out when Saitou hesitated, slight as it was. He rose out his squat with as much dignity as his could muster, and lifted his arms above his head. The link binding his hands together was in turn hooked to something above his head, and adjusted it so that his arms were just barely slack.
"Spread your legs wide." He wanted to shriek, to struggle, and most of all, he wanted to break the Vice-Commander's perfectly strait nose. He'd sworn to cooperate, but he hadn't known that it would be like this. He rested his head against one arm, his thoughts of resistance one by one draining away like leaves washed downstream.
Hands trailed down his back, massaging the muscles there, smoothing them until the tension in him was gone- this was hardly what he'd expected as "teaching him some humility". The sharp ridges were slowly, but surely worked out of the muscles that ran along his spine, his shoulder muscles soothed smooth once again. Finally after many long minutes, all ten fingers of both hands trailed delicately down the ridges of his spine, making the hair raise on the back of his neck again.
Those roughly callused fingers smoothed down over his buttocks, and the Vice-Commander pressed himself full length against his back, cupping one lean muscled cheek in each hand.
"You probably wondering -how- I'm going to instill that humility in you, how exactly I'm going to torture you without leaving marks or bruises of any kind. I did promise not to injure you in any way, did I not?"
"The answer, Saitou-kun, is simply this- You are a guarded person- never have you been caught pleasuring yourself, as normal young men of your age do- You do not frequent the Pleasure Quarter. Your face, although not entirely expressionless, nonetheless is a mask of veiled ego and confidence. You appear to be almost as unreadable and cold as people assume me to be."
"I'm going to change that, if only for this small space of time. You'll cry out at the things I do to you, and you'll beg me for more. And even though you'll LOVE what's being done, you'll HATE yourself for giving in. You can tell yourself now that you won't give in, but you will. You will."
Fingernails were drawn sharply over the sensitive skin of his inner thighs, and then drawn around to his rear and over again, just as sharp as before. He drew his next breath in sharply through bared teeth. Sharp teeth sunk deeply into the soft flesh of his neck.
He could not bear this humiliation. He could not. Did Hijikata just expect him to submit like... a child would to his parent? Well yes, he probably did. That's why he'd had him take that damn oath. He'd never felt quite so stupid in his life. He certainly knew he'd not be taking any more oaths without knowing what they were for! His cursed his stupidity again when a callused finger traced the cleft of his buttocks.
He knew with a certainty now that he would be raped. Although Hijikata had told him as much he hadn't really believed him. He knew because Hijikata had pulled away, and was now pulling his legs even farther apart, his feet tucked under leather straps and buckled to the floor. Horror of a kind he'd never felt before settled in the pit of his stomach and ran with freezing cold feet up and down his spine, his skin now an expanse of gooseflesh.
How does one go about accepting that they are about to be raped, regardless of how much the rapist tries to make it pleasurable? In its own way that made it even more unthinkable.
Strong hands rested on his hips- not gently, but not cruel either. Just enough to let him know that he couldn't escape what was to be done to him. He sensed the motion when his superior fell to his knees behind him.
*No way. NO FUCKING WAY!*
That warm slick tongue pierced him deftly, causing Saitou's already over-stressed nerves to fizzle and go out. That had to be what happened. Because suddenly it was seemed he was trapped inside his body, and he had no control over it, as if he were merely watching. He had no control over the fact that he was moaning like a cheap whore, and that his face showed everything too. He was loving it, just like Hijikata said he would. He WAS moaning and crying for more, and he DID hate himself for it.
It seemed to him, blind as he was, that the world was melting away. A delicate and very skilled hand had gone to work on his now painfully throbbing erection. If this kept up, he was going to orgasm so hard he'd probably pass out. He could only imagine what he looked like now- Sweat dripped off his lean, muscular frame in rivulets, and Kami-sama knew he was probably blushed pink from head to toe. His hair had been untied early on, and it clung wetly to his neck and the side of his face. Every few seconds he'd twitch or shiver- but that was to be expected.
Actually, convulsions were probably a better description of the intense body wracking shudders that were being forced on him now. They only intensified, and soon he was screaming as his orgasm crashed through his brain with a force... that was unimaginable.
Blackness.
"Saitou-kun, you must wake up. We are far from finished, and no matter how flattering it is..."
Saitou blinked. The blindfold was gone. He blinked again, and he seriously thought his eyes would roll out of their sockets. Hijikata stood in front of him, his hand covered in... an unmistakable white substance. He'd stopped speaking, and now certain that Saitou was watching, he delicately licked his hand clean taking special care on his fingers.
He knew what society had taught him to feel, and he knew what his body wanted him to feel. Society would have wanted him to be disgusted, but that was not it at all. He found the gesture so erotic that he was becoming hard again, even after the mind blowing orgasm from merely minutes ago.
"You understand what I meant by 'altered' now, don't you Saitou-kun?"
He blinked again, feeling suddenly rather like a newborn child. Certainly, sex was not new to him, but this variation was completely new. He'd always been a rather classical man, and so far had stuck to rather classical forms of pleasure. Now that he knew better, he wouldn't make that mistake again. He also understood what he'd seen looking at Hijikata earlier- it was not charisma, but thinly veiled and rampant sexuality.
"There is still more to learn Saitou-kun. We can say the test is over, and you certainly did pass. But there is still more I can teach you, if you'd care to learn." He didn't really have to move, or speak to tell his superior that he did indeed want the whole lesson. He was not one to stop short of mastery.
The delicate rose-colored lips of that beautiful face smiled, a real full smile. The Vice-Commander was a beautiful man by any standards, but all of that paled, when he truly smiled. Hijikata stepped forward and pressed himself against Saitou, and kissed him, feeding him back the taste of his own fluids. 'Tis truly amazing how a man's view of life can change in such a short space of time.
He returned his Vice-Commanders kiss with all his young fervor, wanting suddenly to finish the lesson so he could go out and practice it on his own terms.
Notes
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(1) The Shinsen Gumi Articles: in a nutshell "Do this this, this, or this, and you have to commit seppuku." I'm not kidding. More details can be found on this page in Serizawa Kamo's Rurouni Kenshin Translation index: http://victorian.fortunecity.com/stanford/130/bio2.html
(2)This "young girl" is Takagi Tokio, Saitou's future wife. ^^ They were married by the Daimyo of Aizu in 1873, Meiji Era 6. Random note for us Fangirls- Hijikata Toshizo was quite dead by the time Saitou married Tokio ^_~
No, I will NOT finish it.