LaTeX is so horrible
So, I was using a package that was apparently incompatible with the LNCS template, but since TextMate was running pdflatex in batch mode, it just ignored the error and continued (and the TextMate output window didn't say anything!). Turns out the conference needs the file to compile with no errors (go figure), and so I had to scramble to fix it. The resulting file has oddly-placed whitespace and has some orphans (but no widows, which I think look worse), so yeah right LaTeX is so hot. Why are we using 20 year old software?