I would friendblock this, but no point
I think maybe I should be allowed to keep a few things secret. Ya know? Even the small, insignificant things. Things that probably don't make a difference to other people. Maybe I should just come right out and tell Spencer these things, unimportant or not.
THAT DOES NOT CHANGE THE FACT THAT HE SHOULD NOT HAVE GONE INTO MY EMAIL TO GET MY ELJAY PASSWORD AND SIGN IN AS ME ON ELJAY AND READ ALL MY BLOCKED ENTRIES. AND SINCE I KNOW HE WILL FIND A WAY TO READ THIS, I MIGHT AS WELL NOT BLOCK THIS.
None of my past journal entries bear any semblance of importance. OK, people? NONE OF THEM. I think I'm allowed to delete all those entries and be *pretty* secure that no one will notice they are gone! They were my insane ramblings that I posted on a whim. They were not, and are not, meant to be taken seriously [except this one].
I want to be able to trust him. But how is he getting my trust by going into my email and getting my eljay password without even asking me first? This also explains why I have been having problems logging in...I love him. Honestly, I don't think there's any doubt how much I love Spencer. I just have problems coming out and telling him these things when I don't think they're that important in the first place. He blames himself for me not entrusting him with everything based on his having broken up with me last February. It has nothing to do with that. It had to do with my feelings of contempt for mankind itself last year. Not all of it had to do with Spencer! I was a very bitter, secretive person last year, and I'm trying really hard not to be like that again. But Spencer expects me to talk about absolutely everything, including a select few things that I wished had never happened. I even destroyed the journal in which I had cataloged everything awful that had happened during my freshman year. And I think I had every right to.
Damn....
In the meantime, I'm going to go upstairs and starve for awhile. We're all housebound, and there is no food. Pizza last night does not count, considering IT WAS SEASONED WITH GARLIC. Which I ate anyway. So I can't breathe so good right now.
THAT DOES NOT CHANGE THE FACT THAT HE SHOULD NOT HAVE GONE INTO MY EMAIL TO GET MY ELJAY PASSWORD AND SIGN IN AS ME ON ELJAY AND READ ALL MY BLOCKED ENTRIES. AND SINCE I KNOW HE WILL FIND A WAY TO READ THIS, I MIGHT AS WELL NOT BLOCK THIS.
None of my past journal entries bear any semblance of importance. OK, people? NONE OF THEM. I think I'm allowed to delete all those entries and be *pretty* secure that no one will notice they are gone! They were my insane ramblings that I posted on a whim. They were not, and are not, meant to be taken seriously [except this one].
I want to be able to trust him. But how is he getting my trust by going into my email and getting my eljay password without even asking me first? This also explains why I have been having problems logging in...I love him. Honestly, I don't think there's any doubt how much I love Spencer. I just have problems coming out and telling him these things when I don't think they're that important in the first place. He blames himself for me not entrusting him with everything based on his having broken up with me last February. It has nothing to do with that. It had to do with my feelings of contempt for mankind itself last year. Not all of it had to do with Spencer! I was a very bitter, secretive person last year, and I'm trying really hard not to be like that again. But Spencer expects me to talk about absolutely everything, including a select few things that I wished had never happened. I even destroyed the journal in which I had cataloged everything awful that had happened during my freshman year. And I think I had every right to.
Damn....
In the meantime, I'm going to go upstairs and starve for awhile. We're all housebound, and there is no food. Pizza last night does not count, considering IT WAS SEASONED WITH GARLIC. Which I ate anyway. So I can't breathe so good right now.