Advent '10 - December 23rd
December 23rd - 2 days to go!
It took a moment for Harry's brain to catch up.
"Wha?"
"Home." Savitar said sternly. "Now."
Harry frowned and pushed himself up onto his elbows. "Home?" he asked in confusion. "But I am-"
"Your home."
Savitar mentally snarled when Harry just looked at him in confusion. Instead he untangled himself from Harry and stood up, pulling his wetsuit up from his waist and angrily shoving his arms through the sleeves.
"I don't understand…"
The words were quiet but as there was no other sound to distract from them they seemed very loud to Savitar.
He turned and looked down at Harry who was still sprawled out by his feet, his hair rumpled and sand trickling off his shoulders when he shifted.
Even with only the moon to light him, Savitar could see the lost look in his eyes.
"I would think that it was pretty obvious what I meant. Or are you too dim-witted to comprehend what I'm saying?"
Harry gritted his teeth and stood up, crossing his arms over his bare chest when another cool breeze blew across the beach. Swimming trunks did not protect against the elements.
Instead of being hurt, Savitar could see anger sparking in his eyes. It made him want him that much more but he couldn't…
"What the hell is your problem?" Harry asked angrily.
"I don't have a problem. I just want you gone."
Gods. Couldn't he see? That he needed to go home to his friends and family. That he needed to stay away from Savitar.
That this was all for the greater good!
"Like hell you do!" Harry denied, slashing his hand sharply through the air, brushing away the stupid suggestion.
"Do you think I need to lie?" Savitar asked blandly, opening his arms as if to invite Harry to contradict him.
Don't do it. Don't do it.
"Yes!"
Crap.
This wasn't going according to plan. Why the hell did he have to fall in love with someone so stubborn? He guessed this meant he would just have to take it one step further.
"Oh really." Savitar drawled with a smirk. "Why? What would I possibly gain from lying about wanting you gone?"
Harry hesitated and Savitar saw the flash of doubt in his eyes before it was quickly overruled by frustration "I don't know yet! But I know it's true!"
Savitar laughed cruelly. "You think it's true." He countered
"No, I know! I know you!" Harry was getting desperate. He could see it in his eyes and the way his breathing had picked up slightly.
For all of Harry not wanting to believe what he was hearing, there was a small part of him that took it all at face value. The part of him that had been born under the Dursley's treatment of him.
No matter that he was a man now that had accomplished great deeds, there was always going to be that small voice in the back of his thoughts, undermining every decision he made and relationship he developed.
Savitar wanted to kill the Dursley's for it. Instead he found himself ruthlessly exploiting it to keep Harry away from him. So he could be happy. Eventually.
He hated himself right now.
His reasoning's didn't stop the white hot rage but he channelled it. Used it for his own ends.
He snarled and Harry flinched back. "You think you know me." He disappeared and reappeared right behind Harry, enjoying the startled noise he made as he turned around.
"You think you know me?" He asked again as he stepped closer to Harry, trying to force Harry to take a step back.
Harry didn't move, apart from to tilt his head up so he could stare Savitar defiantly in the eye.
Savitar felt heat coil low in his stomach at the defiance and a small part of him wondered if Harry would look like that when he bent him over the-, he mentally beat that part of him down.
He turned his attention back to his Harry, "You've barely known me for a week! What makes you think you know me?" he sneered.
"I'm just special I guess." Harry snarked right back at him.
And there it was. The chance that he needed.
"Special?" he asked in disbelief, "You think you're special?"
"I'm special to you!" Harry almost shouted, "Otherwise why would you have-"
Savitar burst into laughter, wrapping his arms around his stomach. "Oh that is priceless!"
"What is?" Harry asked, automatically straightening his spine.
Savitar didn't miss this small detail and inwardly sighed in relief. He didn't like how easy he found it to hurt Harry.
He didn't stop though and kept laughing, even when he spotted a hurt look enter Harry's eyes. It disappeared though, but not as quickly as before, which Savitar chalked up to a win.
"Stop laughing at me!" Harry's hands were clenched into fists at his sides.
"You…" Savitar had to stop to take in air so he could continue, "you actually think you're special to me! That's what's funny!"
This time the hurt look didn't disappear, though Harry did tilt his chin higher in defiance of his words and the meaning behind them.
"How is that funny?"
Savitar managed to calm himself down enough to smirk and say, "I was faking it."
There was a moment's hesitation and then the hurt disappeared. "No you weren't."
Savitar wanted to punch something! How on earth could this little mortal be so secure in his belief of him? Of them? It was beyond belief!
He channelled his frustration into his voice, knowing that he'd need everything to make this work. "For the love of! Why can't you just get a clue?"
Harry looked at him sullenly and he sneered at him.
"Just how young do you think I am? I'm older than you could possibly imagine!"
"I don't care."
"It doesn't matter if you don't care." He was getting increasingly desperate. The small part of him in the back of his thoughts was clamouring in his mind, demanding that he make this right again. That he get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness.
He ruthlessly crushed it.
"I was playing with you." He said with derision. "Seeing how far I could push you."
"Y-you're lying."
He heard the stutter and knew immediately what it was. A crack. A chink in the armour.
Suddenly it was a lot easier to find the words.
He straightened up slowly and turned to face Harry with a cruel smile on his lips. He could see the hesitance, the doubt, in Harry's eyes, even if the man refused to acknowledge it.
"I don't need to lie." He said slowly, "You saw the rooms in my house. I like the rush it gives me."
Harry stared at him in uncertainty and Savitar stalked forward. This time Harry took a step back away from him.
Finally. Progress.
"And you definitely gave me a rush." He continued walking forward. His heart both celebrating and breaking when Harry matched him for each step.
"Do you know how many people I've had in that room?" He forced himself to smile, "And they all thought they were special. Different."
Harry flinched and stumbled slightly as the sand shifted suddenly under his feet. He didn't fall though, and ignored the moment of weakness.
"I am-" He tried to deny but Savitar just cut him off.
"They were nothing but whores."
This had Harry flinching again and dropping his gaze to the floor. The voice in the back of Savitar's head screamed back to life at this and, for a brief moment, Savitar wondered why the hell he was doing this. Why he was trying to push Harry away so completely.
Surely it couldn't be that bad? Surely he could keep Harry. Keep him away from his friends and family. Keep him alone with him forever.
The voice was begging him to do something, make it right, and he was about to give into it when Harry interrupted him.
"I-I'm not a-"
The rest of his emotions shut down when he heard the hurt in his voice.
There was a small part of him that wondered if he could even stop himself anymore if he tried. That same part just used the reasoning to push Harry away even more.
He didn't deserve to be with someone so cruel.
"You've got that right." Savitar said coldly, "You were entertaining enough to take the edge of the boredom, but not enough to even think about bedding."
And then Harry looked up at him and Savitar felt his heart break.
"I…"
He laughed though, and inwardly cringed at how gleeful it sounded. "Did you think that you were even worth that much?"
"I don't believe you." Harry said in a small voice. But it was obvious that he did. The tremor belied his words and Savitar grinned, though it was more in relief that this torture was going to be over soon. That he was almost there. That he only had to push against the cracks a little harder…
"I've got what you were useful for. Begging. Please…please…" he mocked and had to restrain himself when Harry seemed to curl into himself where he stood.
"That's-"
And then Savitar knew. Knew what he had to say for Harry to leave him completely. For Harry to return to the family and friends that he needed.
"Did you think that I would waste my time on something so freakish?"
Harry's head jerked up in complete shock but Savitar couldn't stop now. Couldn't doubt himself otherwise he'd crumble.
"Get out of my sight, boy."
There was a moment's pause as the world froze. And then everything seemed to hit him all at once with the force of a sledgehammer. Harry's breath wheezed out of him in one rush and Savitar only had the capability to stand there whilst Harry looked desperately into his eyes, begging for it to be wrong.
But Savitar was numb and it must have reflected in his gaze because despair filled Harry's face and Savitar had to watch as he crumpled into himself, clutching at his hair with both hands as he murmured "No, no, no, no…" over and over again.
And Savitar was tensing, about to stride forward and oh gods this was brutal when, with an almighty crack, Harry disappeared into thin air.
The air rushed out of Savitar's lungs and he fell to his knees.
It was over, he kept repeating the fact to himself, over over over.
It wasn't helping.
Harry had started out feeling anger. Anger at Savitar when he was lying to his face and anger at the feeling of incomprehension that was flowing thick through his veins.
Why? He didn't understand!
And then the anger had turned into doubt and then hesitance and then hurt and still Savitar kept pushing pushing pushing, and it was getting worse and he couldn't stop it and he just wanted it to stop!
But it didn't. It never stopped and the voice in the back of his mind, the one that had always been there, ever since he was old enough to understand what his family were saying, started to speak. Whispering the words back at him, giving him reasons why Savitar was right. Bringing up images, memories that supported his claims, and Harry knew it was wrong. He did! But was it really…?
And then Savitar's voice seemed to overlap the voice in his head and it was all Harry could do to look at him in shock whilst the word 'freak' repeated itself over and over and over in his head, almost blocking out the last parting shot.
Harry clutched at his head when it became too much. He wanted! He wanted, he wanted…
He vaguely felt the magic crawl across his skin, turning the air around him heavy enough that he had trouble breathing.
He wanted out.
And with an almighty crack he disapparated.
There was a sickening sensation. Not just of being squeezed through a tube but so, so much worse. It seemed to last for days and he could feel his magic draining rapidly. So much so that a small part of him wondered just how far away Neratiti was to wherever he was going whilst the other, much larger part of him, blankly wondered if he was going to die before he got there.
And then his feet were slamming into the floor and he managed to see dark wood and feel the warmth before his legs gave out and he smashed into the floor.
There were twin cries of "Harry!" and it took a moment for Harry to realise that the pale blobs hovering above his head were the faces of Fred, George and Ash.
He blinked a few times, a couple of tears escaping his eyes, but made no move to get up.
He was in Sanctuary. And for some reason the thought was hilarious to him because when had he ever been given sanctuary…
"Harry, mate!"
"Speak to us!"
Harry opened his mouth to tell them that he was fine but a dry sob came out instead.
A worried looking Ash helped him sit up, leaning him back against his chest. "Harry," he said worriedly, "Harry, did something happen? Are you hurt?"
His face scrunched up and another tear trickled out of his eye as his head lolled forwards. "Called me a freak." He said quietly. "Said I wasn't good enough to be even a whore to him."
Ash tensed behind him.
He jerked his head up to look at Fred and George wildly. "Want to go home." He said desperately, "Please. I want to go home. Can we get the portkey now?"
Fred and George shared a look between them.
"The Ministry is closed right now…we'd have to wait until tomorrow…" Fred trailed off when Harry buried his head in his hands and just shook.
Ash just held him tighter. "I'll take you home. I can take you home right now."
Harry shook his head. "Don't have my stuff. Don't have my wand. Just wanted to get away. Please don't make me go back."
Ash petted his hair, rocking him gently, trying to sooth him. "Shh, it's okay. I'll get them. I know where your bedroom is. You don't have to go back."
Harry let out another dry sob and turned to bury his face in Ash's chest. Ash turned to Fred and George, not releasing Harry for a moment, shielding his form from the rest of the patrons.
"Get your stuff and come back here, as soon as possible."
Fred and George nodded, their faces pale, as they quickly disappeared.
Ash just continued to rock Harry, as his rage grew.
Within a minute Fred and George were back. Fred had the Nifflers stuck to him and George quickly summoned the gathered Puffskeins and stuck them to his body.
Ash stood, picking up Harry in his arms and nodded to the twins when they each rested a hand on him, before disappearing back to London.
Grimmauld Place was deserted. But that was normal for three in the morning. It definitely made appearing out of thin air easier.
Ash barely noticed the heavy tang of magic in the air and the fact that there was a house missing.
"Sorry," Fred said.
"We can't let you in."
"We're not the Secret Keeper."
"Safety can be found at twelve Grimmauld Place." Harry croaked and Ash was only mildly taken aback by the tall, slim building that appeared between two others. Instead all his focus was on trying to temper his rage.
Ash handed Harry over to the twins, who supported him between them, his head lolling on his chest, barely awake.
"Stay here. I'll be right back."
With a snarl of rage Ash appeared in Harry's bedroom in Neratiti, using his powers to summon all of Harry's possessions into his trunk, though being as careful as he could through his rage.
He grabbed the trunk and was about to disappear back to London again when the door clicked open and a sick looking Savitar stepped through.
He seemed shocked when he saw Ash there and opened his mouth to say something.
Ash didn't let him. The rage that had been building when he had first saw the tears, that had grown into fury when he heard that Savitar called Harry lower than a whore, spiralled completely out of control and the next thing he knew he had dropped the trunk and was on the other side of the room, his fist smashing into Savitar's face and the demon in his howling with glee when he felt the bone break and blood spurt across his knuckles.
Savitar staggered back, falling to the ground and Ash was on him instantly, fisting his wetsuit and shaking him.
"How could you?" He raged. "How could you say that to him! How could you do that to him!"
Savitar's voice was thick, "You said…you were right. He needs family and friends. This was the only way that he would stay with them."
Ash screamed in frustration and shook his friend again.
"Are you a complete and utter moron? What the hell were you thinking! Did you accidentally drown and give yourself brain damage?"
Savitar tried to push him away, "He'll go home to his family! Just like you said!"
Ash pushed himself up until he stood, pacing the floor and clutching at his hair, too enraged to do anything else. "You…you! I said he'd want to celebrate with them! Not that it was best if you completely threw him out of your life!"
"This is for the greater good."
Savitar barely got the words out before Ash rounded on him once more.
"The greater good? Do you realise that everything so far - all the shit he has had to put up with has happened because of those thrice damned words! I am so angry with you right now!"
Ash stormed over to Harry's trunk and picked it up before he rounded back on Savitar, who had turned an odd shade of beige-green, and delivered his parting blow.
"You made him cry. I hope you're happy."
Savitar bowed his head when Ash left, not even bothering to fix his nose.
He loved him. He loved him.
Dear gods what had he done?