Red Velvet - chapter 4
Chapter 4
Ren stood, frozen in shock as he watched the doors swing shut behind Kyoko, cutting her off from him with a plate of glass.
His fingertips burned at the light contact and he belated realised that his hand was still outstretched towards where she had stood just moments before.
His breath was coming in short, ragged gasps that didn't sound like him at all.
He blinked a few times before slowly turning his head to face Yashiro, a lost expression pasted across his face.
She was leaving? Leaving where?
Now?
Was she ever coming back?
His heart clenched at that last thought. He had just realised his own feelings; silently admitted them to himself in the darkest hour of the night.
And even if he wasn't planning on telling anyone those feelings the thought that she could leave without him still hurt.
He had thought that she would always be there, by his side, until either his feelings lessened or they didn't and he was in a position to do something about them.
He had never thought that his time would be limited.
That he would one day lose her.
His mind told him that he was an idiot to arrogantly believe that he could control all the variables.
His heart screamed at him to move; to chase her down and demand that she stay with him.
In the end he didn't remember how he got outside, all he knew was that one moment he was standing next to Yashiro, watching Kyoko walk away and the next the front door to the building was wrenched open and he was somehow only paces behind her.
A small part of his brain told him that he must have ran to get there so fast and that surely he had made a spectacle of himself - or at the very least started some sort of minor scandal.
The other part of his brain, the one that was apparently in control of all his motor functions right now, told that smaller part to shut the hell up.
And then he was reaching out, catching her arm and spinning her around. She looked surprised, caught off guard for a moment, but he wasn't thinking about that. He wasn't thinking about much at all.
His head was filled with questions and tumbling thoughts and he couldn't find a second to just stop and trying to put it all into some kind of order. He couldn't find a second to try and find the words to tell Kyoko how he felt, how she had to stay, how he couldn't bear it if she went.
He could see her mother climbing in the car that was waiting, could feel time trickling through his fingers.
"Kyoko," he breathed out, his mouth saying whatever snippet his brain thought most important. "Don't go."
"Tsuruga-san?"
"Please." and he was sure he'd be horrified later at the sound of his voice cracking on that single word.
"I can't -"
"Kyoko!" Her mother's voice barked out of the open car door, high-pitched and impatient. Ren had never hated anything as much as he did right then.
Kyoko half turned towards the waiting car, intent on following her mother's unspoken demand, but Ren kept his grip firmly on her arm, stopping her.
"Please don't go, Kyoko. You don't have to, you can stay."
The 'stay here with me' went unspoken.
"Tsuruga-san..." She looked at him, and Ren saw the sadness in her eyes. "Let me go."
"No!" He hissed. "No. There has to be some other way! Don't follow your mother blindly; you can do what you want."
"Kyoko. Get in the car."
Ren glanced away from Kyoko towards the car. He could see her mother waiting there, pale in the shadowy inside, her face cold with rage burning in her eyes. The sight sent cold chills crawling down his spine.
There was no way that he was going to let Kyoko leave with someone like that.
His resolution was jolted when Kyoko tore her arm out of his grip and took a step back, away from him.
"Kyoko?" He whispered quietly.
"You don't understand. I have been doing what I want. And that's the problem." She turned around and walked over to the open door of the car.
Ren could do nothing but watch as she raised her eyes to his for the last time, hopelessness sparkling in their depths, "Goodbye, Ren."
And then the door was slamming shut and the car driving away, but all Ren could hear was her last whisper as his world crumbled around him.