(no subject)
So life has been so overly compilcated now for a month at least. I am still working at the school. I go to work and get through my day. I really love my student he is so cute. He is a handful but I am getting so attached that it is not good. I went on a round of failed interviews over the summer that went no where past the first round. Then I went to CSB Cambridge Savings Bank. The postion was good and I nailed the first interview. But then I guess somehow I blew the second one. Cause a few days later I got a letter in the mail saying that I was not a fit for the position. I have so much going on. My dad lost his job again. So he is home now. I feel so bad for him. Like in the morning when my mom and I are getting ready to go to work you can tell that he just doesnt know what to do with himself. I want hime to find something soon. I just want the best for him. I mean not to mention that its hard on us when he is out of a job.
Melissa has moved out. She closed on her house this weekend and should be finished moving her stuff today. I went up yesterday with my parents to see her and help out for a while. It was weird. I miss her arleady but at least for the past month we have both been very preoccupied with our lives. I havent been around much and she has been busy with house stuff. So at least its not like we have spent a lot of quality time here together and now all of a sudden she is gone. But when we were there yesterday. Todd had to go back to the house in Bridgewater and get some more stuff. So when we left to come home he still wasn't back. I didn't like leaving her there alone. I think it would be different if it wasnt her first night but I really didn't like it being her first night.
Nick left for AZ at the begining of August. As much as I didn't want to deal at all with the emotinal fallout of his leaving trying to ignore it and pretend that nothing was wrong just made things harder in the end. I have been trying now to get in touch with him because his dad passed away. It was before we met that he wasnt speaking with his dad. It took me a long time to help him break that wall and I really do think that it helped to heal nick a little as a person to be able to bridge that gap slightly. Not that he was able to forgive his dad but that I think he was at least able to make peace a little. Which above all is important.
There is so much other stuff going on my life. I have written so much in the past month about my life in my paper journal. Trying to figure out my emotins. The more I try to figuer things out the more I get confused I think. I just wish I had some direction. I just feel so alone. I feel like all of my friends are gone. Everyone is so busy right now. Getting use to their lives and the newness of everything. Life has changed so much for people its odd. I began to count on Nicole a lot this summer, and it was so great to have her back in my life. I never realized how much I missed her till I had her around so much. But right now she is doing a LOT of studying for the CPA exam. She is taking the test on Monday so she is so wrapped up in it that she is so stressed. I want to help her but there isnt much I can do. I can just sit back and support her when its done.
And don't even get my started about dateing....
I don't know I guess I am just really overwhelmed with my own emotions now and not sure where to put them. I have always been able to have them and to file them, well I guess there are just too many to file right now.
Well Melissa, Todd and Bentley are here for dinner. I have to go now and then help her finish packing a little more.
Melissa has moved out. She closed on her house this weekend and should be finished moving her stuff today. I went up yesterday with my parents to see her and help out for a while. It was weird. I miss her arleady but at least for the past month we have both been very preoccupied with our lives. I havent been around much and she has been busy with house stuff. So at least its not like we have spent a lot of quality time here together and now all of a sudden she is gone. But when we were there yesterday. Todd had to go back to the house in Bridgewater and get some more stuff. So when we left to come home he still wasn't back. I didn't like leaving her there alone. I think it would be different if it wasnt her first night but I really didn't like it being her first night.
Nick left for AZ at the begining of August. As much as I didn't want to deal at all with the emotinal fallout of his leaving trying to ignore it and pretend that nothing was wrong just made things harder in the end. I have been trying now to get in touch with him because his dad passed away. It was before we met that he wasnt speaking with his dad. It took me a long time to help him break that wall and I really do think that it helped to heal nick a little as a person to be able to bridge that gap slightly. Not that he was able to forgive his dad but that I think he was at least able to make peace a little. Which above all is important.
There is so much other stuff going on my life. I have written so much in the past month about my life in my paper journal. Trying to figure out my emotins. The more I try to figuer things out the more I get confused I think. I just wish I had some direction. I just feel so alone. I feel like all of my friends are gone. Everyone is so busy right now. Getting use to their lives and the newness of everything. Life has changed so much for people its odd. I began to count on Nicole a lot this summer, and it was so great to have her back in my life. I never realized how much I missed her till I had her around so much. But right now she is doing a LOT of studying for the CPA exam. She is taking the test on Monday so she is so wrapped up in it that she is so stressed. I want to help her but there isnt much I can do. I can just sit back and support her when its done.
And don't even get my started about dateing....
I don't know I guess I am just really overwhelmed with my own emotions now and not sure where to put them. I have always been able to have them and to file them, well I guess there are just too many to file right now.
Well Melissa, Todd and Bentley are here for dinner. I have to go now and then help her finish packing a little more.