(Ouran) - .:The M Word:. .:Chapter Two:.
Title: The M Word
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Humor, (soap-opera style) Drama, MAJOR AU
Pairings or Characters: Forced!KyouKao, TamaHaru, various others
Warnings: Sexuality, pregnancy jokes, crude humor
Summary: In order to save her business, Hitachiin Yuzuha must step up to the plate, and thus force he youngest to step up to the alter. With one, Ootori Kyouya. Only problem with that? She.. kinda-told-everyone-that-Kaoru-was-a-girl...Ah, parents.
Author's Notes: Ahahahaha....Well...I must say - just enjoy. The KyouKao comes a bit later.
Previous Chapters: Prologue || Chapter One
Pornographic Dates
Kaoru subconsciously twirled an extended lock of reddish-brown hair between two fingers, adverting his gaze as if eye contact with the man across from him would out his dirty little secret. Fidgety, the red head twisted the hem of his too-short denim skirt (how did women wear these things!?!?) which seemed all too short, picking at the stitches nervously. He ignored the salad in front of him and steadily sucked down three glasses of ice water to cool the inside of his parched throat, feeling the liquid sloshing around in his empty stomach.
On the other side of the cloth covered, Western style restaurant table, Ootori Kyouya watched a point somewhere over his date’s (and he used the term most lightly) and respected Kaoru’s imposed silence. The only sound that echoed around the pair was the clinking of cutlery, the occasional call for cheque, water or desert menu, the slow instrumental chamber music, and the steady sips of water, taken in turn by the Hitachiin and the Ootori.
There was nothing. And then:
“Are you bored, Hitachiin-san.”
Amber eyes darted upward, and for a second, their gazes connected. Kaoru sensed what felt like a bead of cold sweat break out on his neck, yet when his hand flew to the nape, there was nothing there. “I - uh...A little,” he conceded, giggling sheepishly in a stupid imitation of the girl he used to go to school with.
“I apologize,” Kyouya was incredibly straight-forward, and Kaoru was incredibly taken aback.
“Uh, o! No, that’s okay. We just, eheh, haven’t really anything to talk about.” More cold sweat and more frantic picking at the hem of the skirt. Swallowing the lump in his throat, the red head tried to initiate some conversation. “Uh...Which school did you go to, Ootori-kun?”
“Ouran Academy,” the brunette replied easily before taking a bite of his dinner, chewing diligently before replying courteously, “And yourself?”
“Lu Renaissance, a private school specializing in the arts,” Kaoru answered and, sensing a null in their conversation, he tried a different tact. “Uh, what position do you work at in your family hospital?”
“I am an underling to my two older brothers, but I am typically doing the same work as them for less of the credit or recognition.”
“But you’re so young to be doing the same work as they - Aren’t you brothers in their thirties?” He was in awe.
Kyouya’s eyes seemed to narrow at this comment - and light glinted off the lenses of his glasses in a slightly ominous way. “Yes, but graduating in three years of medical school does not mean I can rest with the satisfaction of knowing I matched them, if I ever wish to go farther than that.” Something about the way he said it made the subject seemed closed, and Kaoru guessed it was a good thing that social law decreed that it was now Kyouya’s turn to start up a new topic of conversation. “And you, Hitachiin-san? What do you think of taking over your mother’s business with your brother?”
Ah, familiar ground. "Generally, yes. From what I've heard, the world of Japanese fashion is a lot less cut throat than Milan, and everyone's a;ways said that the two of us were naturals. Now all we need to do is go through our mother's personalized training, and then we're on our own pretty much." Kaoru smiled widely and genuinely for the first time since his mother had all but shoved him out of the car. Once again, it was his turn to start a new subject, and feeling unreasonably free spirited, the red head finally cut through the bush they'd both been dancing around all evening. "So, uh...what do you think about this marriage, anyway?"
In a matter of seconds, he knew that it had been a mistake to bring that up - unsafe ground to tread on. Kyouya visibly stiffened, and Kaoru felt the atmosphere temperature drop at least ten degrees as his smile dripped off his face like wet paint in the rain.
"A marriage for merit is entirely different from one out of love, but seeing as I didn't expect to engage of one in the latter category, and arrangements that benefits both parties is equally pleasing enough to compensate for any issues that arise. And think of all the pretty little children that you can give the surname ad birth rite of Ootori and dress up like little dolls, Hitachiin-san." The condescending tone made the hairs on the back of the red head's neck stand on end, and every notion of playing sweet and girly immediately flew out the window as this man insulted him indirectly.
"Don't call me that," he snapped, uncrossing his legs under the table and allowing his hands to flee hair and skirt, gripping to the edge of the table. Amber eyes narrowed. "That's what people call my mother, so why don't you cut the formalities and call me by my name, husband. And you shouldn't automatically assume I want kids, or give a damn about your name or superiority." The table shook a tad bit as he stood in stiletto heels and mini-skirt, exposing long, painfully waxed legs.
Kyouya seemed rather unfazed, but looked up with a raised eyebrow. "Would you like me to get the cheque?"
Casually, Kaoru flicked the extensions that had drifted into his face back behind his ear and made a sour face. "Well, my family is paying for the goddamned ceremony." And he turned on the balls of his feet without even saying a goodbye, reaching into his pocket to call Hikaru and demand he help him commit dating purgatory and walk out.
-
"You should have heard him!!" the younger of the Hitachiin twins sneered at his hands before pulling at the extensions and clips in the privacy of his and Hikaru's childhood bedroom. "It sounded like he was reading of a supply list: marriage, merits, profit, toothpaste, blankets and goddamned..friggin'...FUCK!" The skillfully glued plastic nails were not coming off. "And made me out to be a gold digging hussy who just wanted to have kids to ensure that I could rip him apart in a divorce!!"
Several new things had been added to the room since the time of their arrival: a long, light wooden desk with room enough for two with various design sheets and patterns splayed across its surface in a perfectly messy, yet organized sense, and two matching computer chairs, complete with arm rests and swivel power. Which was exactly what Hikaru was exploiting at the moment, the wonders of spinning while his little brother (sister) ranted, generally repeating the same thing over and over while he occasionally made smart comments that generally went ignored.
"Soak them in warm water," the elder murmured as his red faced twin resorted to using his teeth to pull the nails off.
"And, it's not even that! I don't think he liked me, or even the idea of me, and don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that I don't set him off, but I don't want to have to spend some of the most primal years of my life pretending to love someone as incapable of affection as that!!" He had managed to declaw half of his right hand (the trick was bending the tip until the glue at the cuticle broke) and impatiently moved to his left. “Nothing - NOTHING - could ever make up for Mum putting me through this. Do you think she even stopped to consider what would happen to her - to me - if anyone found out?!”
Hikaru shrugged. “We’ve never been caught breaking the rules in our various stages of mischief and scandals before. Maybe she’s using all those irate phone calls from Dad at three in the morning as assurance you won’t get found out.”
“But - but -” And now he moved to reach down his shirt and pull off his stuffed bra in a rather unorthodox and unusual manner. “But this Kyouya dude is...He’s smart! Like, I don’t think I’ll be able to keep it a secret!” Gracelessly, Kaoru allowed himself to fall backwards onto their bedroom mattress with a loud ‘thump’.
Reaching out a foot to drag on the carpet and a hand to grip the edge of the wooden desk, Hikaru pulled himself to a spin-less stop before he got motion sickness and stood to walk over to their bedside table. With a quick motion, the older red head bent to withdraw something from the bottom drawer of their bedside table, and then i a second he was on top of his brother, straddling his twin with complete disregard for the mini skirt or Kaoru’s irritability.
“Look what I got!” Gracelessly, Hikaru shoved the glossy-coated cover into his brother’s face. “Look!”
“I don’t want to look at your gay porn, Hika - Oh! Wow, is this heterosexual?!?” Attempting to struggle out from under Hikaru’s equal but seemingly inescapable weight, Kaoru paused to take in the lewd picture of a naked woman in a rather exposed position and roll his eyes.
“Happy wedding!!” The other sang teasingly, leaning back on Kaoru’s upper thighs and thumbing through the pages uninterestedly. “Figured you could pick up a few tips on...Oh, look! You can see it go all the way down, and there’s a foot-note about suppressing the gag reflexes!!”
“You are waaaay too excited about this, now get off!” He thumped Hikaru on the knee, attempting to sit up before he was forced down onto his back again by a center-fold to the face.
“Aww, come on, Kaoru-chan - my cutsie little girl - you don’t want to seem inexperienced on your wedding night~!” Hikaru laughed, tossing the porno to the side as the scuffle turned into a full-blown wrestling match with half-serious blows, which resulted on the two rolling around so much that they eventually fell onto the floor.
“‘M not a - ag! - frigg - GIRL!” Kaoru scolded, rolling on top for a second before he felt the need to pull his skirt don and was pinned in his moment of weakness.
“But you look simply ravishing!” The older drawled teasingly. “If we weren’t related, I’d have a hard time keeping my hands off you.”
“You don’t seem to have a problem with it now!”
“Ah, how rude!” Hikaru declared, looking affronted. “I could never take advantage of my poor, innocent, cutesy sister~!”
In another vain attempt to escape, Kaoru ended up on his stomach, face eating carpet. He pounded on the floor, also hit his brother in the back with his heel at the same time. “Moooooooom!!!” he hollered through the floorboard. “Hikaru’s trying to deflower me before my wedding night!!!”
“AM NOT!!” The older boy yelled back, but rolled off his twin anyway, still laughing. Eventually Kaoru started laughing too, and in a matter of seconds they were rolling around on the floor, clutching their stomachs and howling until tears gathered in the corner of their eyes.
And then they finally quieted, backs on the floor, their legs in opposite directions and tops of heads fitting snugly in the napes of necks as two sets of amber eyes stared at the ceiling. Fingers twitched, and in a second, they were interlocking hands beside their ears, fingers twisted together tightly. Things were quiet, and the room was so still that they could hear the hum of the air conditioner in the walls.
“Hey Hikaru?” Voices sounded strange, almost like an echo.
“Yeah?” Another echo.
“Give me away?” And it was only half a joke.
A moment of silence, then the feeling of the older of the Hitachiins nodding against his ear, turning his head a placing a chaste kiss in his hair. “‘Course.”
-
Pregnancy had done nothing to reduce Fuyumi’s slight obsession with making sure her ‘baby’ brother’s life was in order. The first bout of child bearing seemed to have made her overly sobby, overly hormonal and overly sweet and spontaneous with feminine actions. This one, however - round two - made her...snappish, cruel, talkative and just slightly mean sometimes. She imposed, never knocking before barging into Kyouya’s private quarters, and would often be rude, and entirely uncharacteristic trait for Fuyumi. However, Kyouya never really seemed to mind.
“So?” she demanded from her curled up position on his sofa as the bespectacled man entered his room after the ‘date’. “What did you think of her?”
Kyouya was quiet, peeling off his sweater and draping it over the back of the couch, pausing before he continued into the room to lean over the backing and give Fuyumi a swift, routine peck on the cheek. He kicked off his shoes and ran a hand through his hair. There was silence except for the rustling of cloths; she was doing his laundry again, and humming lyrics to a song she had never really heard. Her stance was...expecting.
“I think she finds me boring,” he said into the weighted silence, sounding fatigued.
“Oh?” Fuyumi’s facial expression did not change, but her voice rose in lieu of an eyebrow. “What makes you think that?”
“She walked out halfway through dinner, although not without feeding me a thorough character-assasination speech that actually seemed to have a few points - dramatized, though. On top of that, she’s loud, dresses like a pre-pubecent teenager is a pessimist and seems rather reluctant to be anywhere near me.”
Fuyumi stopped her folding and placed a hand on her budging stomach, twisting to watch her brother over her shoulder skeptically. “I’m sure you could cook up some powerpoint showing reasonable and profitable reasons and pie-chart to marry a brainless breeder from a shipping company if this girl’s too much work.”
Kyouya seemed to consider it for a second, tapping his chin and leaning casually on the low set of dark drawers that sported a social-service collection of photographs of his family and childhood. And then... “No.”
“What?”
“If this is really influential enough for father to deal with this girl’s mother, who I’m sure is twelve times worse than her, I’ll put up with her...”
Fuyumi’s eyes sparkled. “Aw, you like her! How sweet! ...Now, do you have any watermelon and water crackers with pepper jack cheese?”
“Kitchen, but you have to get it yourself.”
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Humor, (soap-opera style) Drama, MAJOR AU
Pairings or Characters: Forced!KyouKao, TamaHaru, various others
Warnings: Sexuality, pregnancy jokes, crude humor
Summary: In order to save her business, Hitachiin Yuzuha must step up to the plate, and thus force he youngest to step up to the alter. With one, Ootori Kyouya. Only problem with that? She.. kinda-told-everyone-that-Kaoru-was-a-girl...Ah, parents.
Author's Notes: Ahahahaha....Well...I must say - just enjoy. The KyouKao comes a bit later.
Previous Chapters: Prologue || Chapter One
Pornographic Dates
Kaoru subconsciously twirled an extended lock of reddish-brown hair between two fingers, adverting his gaze as if eye contact with the man across from him would out his dirty little secret. Fidgety, the red head twisted the hem of his too-short denim skirt (how did women wear these things!?!?) which seemed all too short, picking at the stitches nervously. He ignored the salad in front of him and steadily sucked down three glasses of ice water to cool the inside of his parched throat, feeling the liquid sloshing around in his empty stomach.
On the other side of the cloth covered, Western style restaurant table, Ootori Kyouya watched a point somewhere over his date’s (and he used the term most lightly) and respected Kaoru’s imposed silence. The only sound that echoed around the pair was the clinking of cutlery, the occasional call for cheque, water or desert menu, the slow instrumental chamber music, and the steady sips of water, taken in turn by the Hitachiin and the Ootori.
There was nothing. And then:
“Are you bored, Hitachiin-san.”
Amber eyes darted upward, and for a second, their gazes connected. Kaoru sensed what felt like a bead of cold sweat break out on his neck, yet when his hand flew to the nape, there was nothing there. “I - uh...A little,” he conceded, giggling sheepishly in a stupid imitation of the girl he used to go to school with.
“I apologize,” Kyouya was incredibly straight-forward, and Kaoru was incredibly taken aback.
“Uh, o! No, that’s okay. We just, eheh, haven’t really anything to talk about.” More cold sweat and more frantic picking at the hem of the skirt. Swallowing the lump in his throat, the red head tried to initiate some conversation. “Uh...Which school did you go to, Ootori-kun?”
“Ouran Academy,” the brunette replied easily before taking a bite of his dinner, chewing diligently before replying courteously, “And yourself?”
“Lu Renaissance, a private school specializing in the arts,” Kaoru answered and, sensing a null in their conversation, he tried a different tact. “Uh, what position do you work at in your family hospital?”
“I am an underling to my two older brothers, but I am typically doing the same work as them for less of the credit or recognition.”
“But you’re so young to be doing the same work as they - Aren’t you brothers in their thirties?” He was in awe.
Kyouya’s eyes seemed to narrow at this comment - and light glinted off the lenses of his glasses in a slightly ominous way. “Yes, but graduating in three years of medical school does not mean I can rest with the satisfaction of knowing I matched them, if I ever wish to go farther than that.” Something about the way he said it made the subject seemed closed, and Kaoru guessed it was a good thing that social law decreed that it was now Kyouya’s turn to start up a new topic of conversation. “And you, Hitachiin-san? What do you think of taking over your mother’s business with your brother?”
Ah, familiar ground. "Generally, yes. From what I've heard, the world of Japanese fashion is a lot less cut throat than Milan, and everyone's a;ways said that the two of us were naturals. Now all we need to do is go through our mother's personalized training, and then we're on our own pretty much." Kaoru smiled widely and genuinely for the first time since his mother had all but shoved him out of the car. Once again, it was his turn to start a new subject, and feeling unreasonably free spirited, the red head finally cut through the bush they'd both been dancing around all evening. "So, uh...what do you think about this marriage, anyway?"
In a matter of seconds, he knew that it had been a mistake to bring that up - unsafe ground to tread on. Kyouya visibly stiffened, and Kaoru felt the atmosphere temperature drop at least ten degrees as his smile dripped off his face like wet paint in the rain.
"A marriage for merit is entirely different from one out of love, but seeing as I didn't expect to engage of one in the latter category, and arrangements that benefits both parties is equally pleasing enough to compensate for any issues that arise. And think of all the pretty little children that you can give the surname ad birth rite of Ootori and dress up like little dolls, Hitachiin-san." The condescending tone made the hairs on the back of the red head's neck stand on end, and every notion of playing sweet and girly immediately flew out the window as this man insulted him indirectly.
"Don't call me that," he snapped, uncrossing his legs under the table and allowing his hands to flee hair and skirt, gripping to the edge of the table. Amber eyes narrowed. "That's what people call my mother, so why don't you cut the formalities and call me by my name, husband. And you shouldn't automatically assume I want kids, or give a damn about your name or superiority." The table shook a tad bit as he stood in stiletto heels and mini-skirt, exposing long, painfully waxed legs.
Kyouya seemed rather unfazed, but looked up with a raised eyebrow. "Would you like me to get the cheque?"
Casually, Kaoru flicked the extensions that had drifted into his face back behind his ear and made a sour face. "Well, my family is paying for the goddamned ceremony." And he turned on the balls of his feet without even saying a goodbye, reaching into his pocket to call Hikaru and demand he help him commit dating purgatory and walk out.
-
"You should have heard him!!" the younger of the Hitachiin twins sneered at his hands before pulling at the extensions and clips in the privacy of his and Hikaru's childhood bedroom. "It sounded like he was reading of a supply list: marriage, merits, profit, toothpaste, blankets and goddamned..friggin'...FUCK!" The skillfully glued plastic nails were not coming off. "And made me out to be a gold digging hussy who just wanted to have kids to ensure that I could rip him apart in a divorce!!"
Several new things had been added to the room since the time of their arrival: a long, light wooden desk with room enough for two with various design sheets and patterns splayed across its surface in a perfectly messy, yet organized sense, and two matching computer chairs, complete with arm rests and swivel power. Which was exactly what Hikaru was exploiting at the moment, the wonders of spinning while his little brother (sister) ranted, generally repeating the same thing over and over while he occasionally made smart comments that generally went ignored.
"Soak them in warm water," the elder murmured as his red faced twin resorted to using his teeth to pull the nails off.
"And, it's not even that! I don't think he liked me, or even the idea of me, and don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that I don't set him off, but I don't want to have to spend some of the most primal years of my life pretending to love someone as incapable of affection as that!!" He had managed to declaw half of his right hand (the trick was bending the tip until the glue at the cuticle broke) and impatiently moved to his left. “Nothing - NOTHING - could ever make up for Mum putting me through this. Do you think she even stopped to consider what would happen to her - to me - if anyone found out?!”
Hikaru shrugged. “We’ve never been caught breaking the rules in our various stages of mischief and scandals before. Maybe she’s using all those irate phone calls from Dad at three in the morning as assurance you won’t get found out.”
“But - but -” And now he moved to reach down his shirt and pull off his stuffed bra in a rather unorthodox and unusual manner. “But this Kyouya dude is...He’s smart! Like, I don’t think I’ll be able to keep it a secret!” Gracelessly, Kaoru allowed himself to fall backwards onto their bedroom mattress with a loud ‘thump’.
Reaching out a foot to drag on the carpet and a hand to grip the edge of the wooden desk, Hikaru pulled himself to a spin-less stop before he got motion sickness and stood to walk over to their bedside table. With a quick motion, the older red head bent to withdraw something from the bottom drawer of their bedside table, and then i a second he was on top of his brother, straddling his twin with complete disregard for the mini skirt or Kaoru’s irritability.
“Look what I got!” Gracelessly, Hikaru shoved the glossy-coated cover into his brother’s face. “Look!”
“I don’t want to look at your gay porn, Hika - Oh! Wow, is this heterosexual?!?” Attempting to struggle out from under Hikaru’s equal but seemingly inescapable weight, Kaoru paused to take in the lewd picture of a naked woman in a rather exposed position and roll his eyes.
“Happy wedding!!” The other sang teasingly, leaning back on Kaoru’s upper thighs and thumbing through the pages uninterestedly. “Figured you could pick up a few tips on...Oh, look! You can see it go all the way down, and there’s a foot-note about suppressing the gag reflexes!!”
“You are waaaay too excited about this, now get off!” He thumped Hikaru on the knee, attempting to sit up before he was forced down onto his back again by a center-fold to the face.
“Aww, come on, Kaoru-chan - my cutsie little girl - you don’t want to seem inexperienced on your wedding night~!” Hikaru laughed, tossing the porno to the side as the scuffle turned into a full-blown wrestling match with half-serious blows, which resulted on the two rolling around so much that they eventually fell onto the floor.
“‘M not a - ag! - frigg - GIRL!” Kaoru scolded, rolling on top for a second before he felt the need to pull his skirt don and was pinned in his moment of weakness.
“But you look simply ravishing!” The older drawled teasingly. “If we weren’t related, I’d have a hard time keeping my hands off you.”
“You don’t seem to have a problem with it now!”
“Ah, how rude!” Hikaru declared, looking affronted. “I could never take advantage of my poor, innocent, cutesy sister~!”
In another vain attempt to escape, Kaoru ended up on his stomach, face eating carpet. He pounded on the floor, also hit his brother in the back with his heel at the same time. “Moooooooom!!!” he hollered through the floorboard. “Hikaru’s trying to deflower me before my wedding night!!!”
“AM NOT!!” The older boy yelled back, but rolled off his twin anyway, still laughing. Eventually Kaoru started laughing too, and in a matter of seconds they were rolling around on the floor, clutching their stomachs and howling until tears gathered in the corner of their eyes.
And then they finally quieted, backs on the floor, their legs in opposite directions and tops of heads fitting snugly in the napes of necks as two sets of amber eyes stared at the ceiling. Fingers twitched, and in a second, they were interlocking hands beside their ears, fingers twisted together tightly. Things were quiet, and the room was so still that they could hear the hum of the air conditioner in the walls.
“Hey Hikaru?” Voices sounded strange, almost like an echo.
“Yeah?” Another echo.
“Give me away?” And it was only half a joke.
A moment of silence, then the feeling of the older of the Hitachiins nodding against his ear, turning his head a placing a chaste kiss in his hair. “‘Course.”
-
Pregnancy had done nothing to reduce Fuyumi’s slight obsession with making sure her ‘baby’ brother’s life was in order. The first bout of child bearing seemed to have made her overly sobby, overly hormonal and overly sweet and spontaneous with feminine actions. This one, however - round two - made her...snappish, cruel, talkative and just slightly mean sometimes. She imposed, never knocking before barging into Kyouya’s private quarters, and would often be rude, and entirely uncharacteristic trait for Fuyumi. However, Kyouya never really seemed to mind.
“So?” she demanded from her curled up position on his sofa as the bespectacled man entered his room after the ‘date’. “What did you think of her?”
Kyouya was quiet, peeling off his sweater and draping it over the back of the couch, pausing before he continued into the room to lean over the backing and give Fuyumi a swift, routine peck on the cheek. He kicked off his shoes and ran a hand through his hair. There was silence except for the rustling of cloths; she was doing his laundry again, and humming lyrics to a song she had never really heard. Her stance was...expecting.
“I think she finds me boring,” he said into the weighted silence, sounding fatigued.
“Oh?” Fuyumi’s facial expression did not change, but her voice rose in lieu of an eyebrow. “What makes you think that?”
“She walked out halfway through dinner, although not without feeding me a thorough character-assasination speech that actually seemed to have a few points - dramatized, though. On top of that, she’s loud, dresses like a pre-pubecent teenager is a pessimist and seems rather reluctant to be anywhere near me.”
Fuyumi stopped her folding and placed a hand on her budging stomach, twisting to watch her brother over her shoulder skeptically. “I’m sure you could cook up some powerpoint showing reasonable and profitable reasons and pie-chart to marry a brainless breeder from a shipping company if this girl’s too much work.”
Kyouya seemed to consider it for a second, tapping his chin and leaning casually on the low set of dark drawers that sported a social-service collection of photographs of his family and childhood. And then... “No.”
“What?”
“If this is really influential enough for father to deal with this girl’s mother, who I’m sure is twelve times worse than her, I’ll put up with her...”
Fuyumi’s eyes sparkled. “Aw, you like her! How sweet! ...Now, do you have any watermelon and water crackers with pepper jack cheese?”
“Kitchen, but you have to get it yourself.”