(no subject)
Such conflict. Happy… Pissed… Sad… I don’t know. I have reasons for a lot of them, but then they get tossed in a blender together and fight it out and the product is just a stew with no real flavor (what the fuck is that analogy, I would change it but I think that its funny how my brain works).
Happy
-I’m getting an agent in town that represents a lot of the voice faculty. She books fancy parties, balls, and weddings. I wanted to just sing more, not even for money, but I am getting referred to this lady. I’m was also told to look into night club and restaurant singing. I’m excited for all this… At least if I’m stuck here I can be doing what I want.
Pissed
-My sister is coming back, supposedly to live with my parents for a while. Her husband threatened to kill himself and my sister. The baby was playing with a loaded gun when he was supposed to be watching him and my sister came home. So, the police told her to leave. She is coming here, which I think still will probably not happen. And I’m still so angry at her. But, I decided I need to put that to the side. Not forget it, but just keep it on hold. So I’m not going to avoid her. I’m going to listen to her cry and tell her I love her. And when she starts to feel better and get on her feet. I’m going to hit her in the face with a rock and yell “what the fuck is wrong with you!”. I’m pissed at myself for still loving her. I was doing so well with not caring. So well. But, if she hurts my mother again, I’m hiring someone to kick her ass. Then, maybe calling protective services and getting her baby taken away. I’m half joking about the first part, not joking about the second.
Sad
-It is there… A lot for lots of different reasons. Go away.
Happy
-I’m getting an agent in town that represents a lot of the voice faculty. She books fancy parties, balls, and weddings. I wanted to just sing more, not even for money, but I am getting referred to this lady. I’m was also told to look into night club and restaurant singing. I’m excited for all this… At least if I’m stuck here I can be doing what I want.
Pissed
-My sister is coming back, supposedly to live with my parents for a while. Her husband threatened to kill himself and my sister. The baby was playing with a loaded gun when he was supposed to be watching him and my sister came home. So, the police told her to leave. She is coming here, which I think still will probably not happen. And I’m still so angry at her. But, I decided I need to put that to the side. Not forget it, but just keep it on hold. So I’m not going to avoid her. I’m going to listen to her cry and tell her I love her. And when she starts to feel better and get on her feet. I’m going to hit her in the face with a rock and yell “what the fuck is wrong with you!”. I’m pissed at myself for still loving her. I was doing so well with not caring. So well. But, if she hurts my mother again, I’m hiring someone to kick her ass. Then, maybe calling protective services and getting her baby taken away. I’m half joking about the first part, not joking about the second.
Sad
-It is there… A lot for lots of different reasons. Go away.