Going home for the first time...
I will be home tomorrow, as long as there are no problems related to snow storms and full flights and my not having a valid id and all that fun stuff.
And I am really, super nervous about the reality of going home. Highly anxious. Like stomach-rolling, eye watering, clenched jaw worried.
It's easy to be somewhere and do what you need to do when you feel like there is no other option. When another option becomes salient, it feels much harder to continue.
I desperately want to see everyone, so that's definitely the part that makes me happy, and if I hold on very tightly to that truth then I can get through tomorrow and actually having to deal with the fact that I am where I am - and not where I wish I was.
Ahhhhhh.
A small part of me is also worried because...everyone isn't where I left them.
And that is really terrifying.
And I am really, super nervous about the reality of going home. Highly anxious. Like stomach-rolling, eye watering, clenched jaw worried.
It's easy to be somewhere and do what you need to do when you feel like there is no other option. When another option becomes salient, it feels much harder to continue.
I desperately want to see everyone, so that's definitely the part that makes me happy, and if I hold on very tightly to that truth then I can get through tomorrow and actually having to deal with the fact that I am where I am - and not where I wish I was.
Ahhhhhh.
A small part of me is also worried because...everyone isn't where I left them.
And that is really terrifying.