My review in the form of notes (3.01)
Don't get me wrong. I've been a proponent for Supernatural forever. I was all about the postcards, petitions, etc. But here is a very critical review in the form of notes I took during the show of episode 3.01 "The Magnificent Seven". I love Supernatural, but I don't like where it's going. But I'm giving it a chance. So here are my thoughts, throughout the episode. Be aware that I'm seriously like a crack addled chimp and found amusement in odd things and it reads more humor than serious business. Though I totally mean it all.
Note: Obviously spoilers
Rating, taking into account the previous seasons and their premieres: C
Rating, not taking into account what they can do: B
DementedNotes regarding the Season 3 Premiere of Supernatural
A Critical Analysis in Easy To Swallow Pill Form
3.01 “The Magnificent Seven”
Part 1: Opening
+Poor what I assume is Jealousy.... You and your scruffy beard. I'm sorry your beard, I mean, your car is dirty and your trash cans are rumbling.
+Hmmmm. The crazy worm-like thunderstorm shooting out willy nilly and entering people. Men In Black all over again. But instead of cockroach aliens, we have clouds. Ooooo. Clouds.
+New opening! ... edgier? Don't know if I love or loathe.
Part 2: After Opening
+One Week later, you say.
+Oh God. That blatant sex sex sex. And out of character... WTF. So uncool. *hate*
+Music cannot even save this scene.
+New scene... but seriously. Still on horrible sex scene. Worst sex scene ever. EVER. Worst OOC. Worst setup. Worst WORST.
+Sam: read “You're dying, you deserve sex.”..... Yeah. That's totally what I watch this show for. *sigh*
+Light out now! Thank god. Less chance of sex.
+Hear those cicadas? Yeah. It's the Midwest. They turn on in the spring and go all fucking summer. Nothing new.
+Candy-gram isn't very witty. :-/
+Screaming. Let's talk about it and then slowly make our way towards it. Don't be concerned.
+Sammy thinks Bobby is Psychic.
+ “I HATE THIS FAMILY!” ROFLMAO
+Looks like a pretty nice house. We got some plants.... a porch... Dead people. Whatever.
+Beat down!
+I know what this scene needs! Odd angles and attempts at humor, because a beat down isn't dramatic enough.
+That woman's accent sounds fake. Like an exaggerated version of Lily Allen.
+Did she just say “While you're exercising them”?
+Awkward Sam. Jesus. Get a fuckin' clue. Jeez. Psh. Bah.
+Depending on what's on TV. I could so do that.
+What's up with the CLOSE UP CLOSE UP CLOSE UP TIGHT SHOT TIGHT SHOT TIGHT SHOT
+Bobby doesn't like it when you watch him change. Pervs.
+Tight shot of whore, I mean Ruby trying to perv on Bobby. *cough*sluuuuuuuut *cough*
+That woman (the blonde) has a HUGE rectangular head with an itty bitty face.
+I want the shoes, I'll bash your head in for the shoes.... poor car.
+Did her EYE just POP? Because it sure as hell looked like it.
Part 3: After the Shoe Bashing
+Better call Grissom? Shout out to CSI? I think so. Unoriginal? I also tend to think so.
+Hey. Guess what? Another flirty scene with a Jess Look-A-Like.
+What happened to the Dean that was all “SAM! Don't drink on the job! Serious Business!”
+When Bobby dresses up he looks like the Polygamist Gambling Company owner from Big Love.
+I love how Bobby immediately connects the family that died because they didn't move from the television with psycho-chick who bashes people's heads in for shoes. Because there totally aren't multiple demonic/supernatural/etc occurrences happening at the same time. Nope.
+Ha. “See?!” line. *amused*
+Ruby is apparently perving on Sam now.
+Anyone with long hair knows that even without supposedly being able to “kick-ass” at the drop of a hat, you don't just walk around with your hair perfectly split into 3 parts with 2 of them in front of your shoulders. The natural position of people with long (and especially curly) hair is to put it in the back. ACCURACY MAKES BABY JESUS STOP CRYING (at this point his crying is defaulted, so now we must make it stop).
+Fucking Ruby. Just die already. Trip over the curb in your heals and fall down the crack in a storm drain. Seriously. Do not want.
+Whoop, a crack in the floor. *gone*
+She just pulled an 1.02 Jess disappearing act. But without any reasoning or meaning.
+Apparently it's 12:07am.
+Sam just scared Dean. Bobby continued to be stoic.
+Jesus Dean. Stop fiddling with your dick. Your junk shouldn't have been in your hands in the first place.
+Bobby just swore. Put a nickel in the curse jar.
+Isn't that the same flask from when they introduced Bobby and he offered Dean/Sam a drink?
+HA. Bad Actress Say “Gasp!”
+It's like wolves going after a baby deer... that's locked in a bar... with possessed coyotes... that threaten you with Drain-O.
+I'm pretty sure Drain-O wouldn't instantly kill you.
+I wonder what they used as the Drain-O.
+Isn't Drain-O clear? I distinctly remember commercials saying it was clear.
+They have a hella huge amount of holy water.
+Why would you bring the guy with you? What's that going to really accomplish. Especially when he's not tied up and I'm pretty sure you can access the cab of the car through the trunk.
Part 4: After the Bar full O' crazy
+He was not bloodied. He was dead...ied.
+Bobby's serious face.
+This is my important serious time face. Let me show you it.
+When did Dean see Se7en?
+Too much TV = Sloth
+Drinking Drain-O = Glutton
+Shoe-Face-Bashing = Envy
+Bobby's angry face makes me love him more. I want to see him kill something. Maybe a bear. And then skin it with his bare hands. Fucking awesome.
+ Haha. We are legion... Online Anonymous. POOL'S CLOSED! Ha.
+Scruffy beard is scruffy
+GLUTONNY and LUUUST.
+Apparently crazy huntress who is crazy is also full of rage. Huh. Who knew.
+Definition of Humanity basically is greedy, horny, hungry animals. I'll buy into your mumbo-jumbo
+And by hell I mean the next room.
+Sammy doesn't like clowns.
+That hunter couple's house is the least inconspicuous place ever.
+Sam's bobby head is right, says Bobby.
+I don't like her.
+I'm loving this angle. Sam in the foreground, Dean in the background.
+Why does the radio always go to old school religious/country music?
+Let's go. And by let's go, I mean, let's stand up.
+What is supposed to be a “ZOMG! He's ALIVE” moment that missed.... and.... blackout
Part 5: After Hunter Dude is all Alive and Crazy and Shit.
+Bobby, you're so awesome. I love you.
+That guy's ear is pierced.
+Oh noes! You killed our daughter!
+Oh noes! I kill you!
+Oh noes! Staked!
+QUICK MUSIC. QUICK MUSIC MEANS IT IS TIME TO RUN, BITCHES.
+Fat, drunk, and stupid is EXACTLY how to go through life. Too fat to leave the house, too drunk to care, and too stupid to care.
+Dammit. Dean kissing for no reason. Why must we always have the sex. The unnecessary shock value sex.
+Pride has a receding hair line. Should probably get that plugged.
+Pride has a creepy smile. Very marionette.
+Creepy fucking eyebrows
+DEAN! STOP. FUCKING. THE. DEMON. I swear to god. I'm tired of it.
+Sam's hair sure is floppy
+Shit. Here's Ruby.
+Slow-mo so you don't realize she sucks.. notice how they've never done that for anyone else... ever.
+Totally illogical moves that would accomplish nothing.
+*sigh*
+That was very Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
+I hate you, Ruby.
+I hate you, Ruby.
+I hate you, Ruby.
+Dammit, Sam! Why did you save her?
+Ruby = Still perfect
+Sam = His shit is beat up, yo.
+Where the fuck is Dean and his dirty sex-demon-body-woman-thing.
Part 6: After Sam failed to kill Ruby (Who I Hate)
+Why do they use cans of salt? And old cans at that? You'd think just buying bags of it would be cheaper and easier to deal with.
+John's pier was taller. *woot* ftw.
+STOP. Dean cannot show interest in Ruby. I will shoot myself.
+Voldemort. You let out the 7 Deadly Sins. What's next? Voldemort. And then various antagonists from Lord of the Rings. And the vacuum from “Brave Little Toaster”
+Is it a war? No. Infestation me thinks.
+Bobby don't care BITCHES! *rides off*
+Dean's ears look more... protrusive today.
+My hair is out of place, greasy, and I'm pissed off.
+They just sucked all possible emotion out of that scene. Last season the big “Dean reveals the deal to Sam” would have been a tear jerker and emotional. Maybe some Dean!tears. But no. Recycled Croatoan speech with no emotion. Blah.
+I like that Sam looking over his shoulder “You're unbelievable” “Very true”
END
I'm kind of disappointed that there weren't any major “HOLY SHIT” moments. There wasn't any “HOLY SHIT” moments in the season finale either, not really.
Rating taking into account the previous episodes and how seasons 1 and 2 opened:
C, They can do SO much better. They completely backtracked characters. Lost all depth of character, especially with Dean. The cinematographer sucked. The artistry that has been around for the previous 2 seasons isn't there.
Rating without thinking about previous episodes and how they can do better:
B, I didn't LOATHE it with intensity. I certainly didn't like it. But I didn't loathe it. It was... meh. Forgettable.
Note: Obviously spoilers
Rating, taking into account the previous seasons and their premieres: C
Rating, not taking into account what they can do: B
DementedNotes regarding the Season 3 Premiere of Supernatural
A Critical Analysis in Easy To Swallow Pill Form
3.01 “The Magnificent Seven”
Part 1: Opening
+Poor what I assume is Jealousy.... You and your scruffy beard. I'm sorry your beard, I mean, your car is dirty and your trash cans are rumbling.
+Hmmmm. The crazy worm-like thunderstorm shooting out willy nilly and entering people. Men In Black all over again. But instead of cockroach aliens, we have clouds. Ooooo. Clouds.
+New opening! ... edgier? Don't know if I love or loathe.
Part 2: After Opening
+One Week later, you say.
+Oh God. That blatant sex sex sex. And out of character... WTF. So uncool. *hate*
+Music cannot even save this scene.
+New scene... but seriously. Still on horrible sex scene. Worst sex scene ever. EVER. Worst OOC. Worst setup. Worst WORST.
+Sam: read “You're dying, you deserve sex.”..... Yeah. That's totally what I watch this show for. *sigh*
+Light out now! Thank god. Less chance of sex.
+Hear those cicadas? Yeah. It's the Midwest. They turn on in the spring and go all fucking summer. Nothing new.
+Candy-gram isn't very witty. :-/
+Screaming. Let's talk about it and then slowly make our way towards it. Don't be concerned.
+Sammy thinks Bobby is Psychic.
+ “I HATE THIS FAMILY!” ROFLMAO
+Looks like a pretty nice house. We got some plants.... a porch... Dead people. Whatever.
+Beat down!
+I know what this scene needs! Odd angles and attempts at humor, because a beat down isn't dramatic enough.
+That woman's accent sounds fake. Like an exaggerated version of Lily Allen.
+Did she just say “While you're exercising them”?
+Awkward Sam. Jesus. Get a fuckin' clue. Jeez. Psh. Bah.
+Depending on what's on TV. I could so do that.
+What's up with the CLOSE UP CLOSE UP CLOSE UP TIGHT SHOT TIGHT SHOT TIGHT SHOT
+Bobby doesn't like it when you watch him change. Pervs.
+Tight shot of whore, I mean Ruby trying to perv on Bobby. *cough*sluuuuuuuut *cough*
+That woman (the blonde) has a HUGE rectangular head with an itty bitty face.
+I want the shoes, I'll bash your head in for the shoes.... poor car.
+Did her EYE just POP? Because it sure as hell looked like it.
Part 3: After the Shoe Bashing
+Better call Grissom? Shout out to CSI? I think so. Unoriginal? I also tend to think so.
+Hey. Guess what? Another flirty scene with a Jess Look-A-Like.
+What happened to the Dean that was all “SAM! Don't drink on the job! Serious Business!”
+When Bobby dresses up he looks like the Polygamist Gambling Company owner from Big Love.
+I love how Bobby immediately connects the family that died because they didn't move from the television with psycho-chick who bashes people's heads in for shoes. Because there totally aren't multiple demonic/supernatural/etc occurrences happening at the same time. Nope.
+Ha. “See?!” line. *amused*
+Ruby is apparently perving on Sam now.
+Anyone with long hair knows that even without supposedly being able to “kick-ass” at the drop of a hat, you don't just walk around with your hair perfectly split into 3 parts with 2 of them in front of your shoulders. The natural position of people with long (and especially curly) hair is to put it in the back. ACCURACY MAKES BABY JESUS STOP CRYING (at this point his crying is defaulted, so now we must make it stop).
+Fucking Ruby. Just die already. Trip over the curb in your heals and fall down the crack in a storm drain. Seriously. Do not want.
+Whoop, a crack in the floor. *gone*
+She just pulled an 1.02 Jess disappearing act. But without any reasoning or meaning.
+Apparently it's 12:07am.
+Sam just scared Dean. Bobby continued to be stoic.
+Jesus Dean. Stop fiddling with your dick. Your junk shouldn't have been in your hands in the first place.
+Bobby just swore. Put a nickel in the curse jar.
+Isn't that the same flask from when they introduced Bobby and he offered Dean/Sam a drink?
+HA. Bad Actress Say “Gasp!”
+It's like wolves going after a baby deer... that's locked in a bar... with possessed coyotes... that threaten you with Drain-O.
+I'm pretty sure Drain-O wouldn't instantly kill you.
+I wonder what they used as the Drain-O.
+Isn't Drain-O clear? I distinctly remember commercials saying it was clear.
+They have a hella huge amount of holy water.
+Why would you bring the guy with you? What's that going to really accomplish. Especially when he's not tied up and I'm pretty sure you can access the cab of the car through the trunk.
Part 4: After the Bar full O' crazy
+He was not bloodied. He was dead...ied.
+Bobby's serious face.
+This is my important serious time face. Let me show you it.
+When did Dean see Se7en?
+Too much TV = Sloth
+Drinking Drain-O = Glutton
+Shoe-Face-Bashing = Envy
+Bobby's angry face makes me love him more. I want to see him kill something. Maybe a bear. And then skin it with his bare hands. Fucking awesome.
+ Haha. We are legion... Online Anonymous. POOL'S CLOSED! Ha.
+Scruffy beard is scruffy
+GLUTONNY and LUUUST.
+Apparently crazy huntress who is crazy is also full of rage. Huh. Who knew.
+Definition of Humanity basically is greedy, horny, hungry animals. I'll buy into your mumbo-jumbo
+And by hell I mean the next room.
+Sammy doesn't like clowns.
+That hunter couple's house is the least inconspicuous place ever.
+Sam's bobby head is right, says Bobby.
+I don't like her.
+I'm loving this angle. Sam in the foreground, Dean in the background.
+Why does the radio always go to old school religious/country music?
+Let's go. And by let's go, I mean, let's stand up.
+What is supposed to be a “ZOMG! He's ALIVE” moment that missed.... and.... blackout
Part 5: After Hunter Dude is all Alive and Crazy and Shit.
+Bobby, you're so awesome. I love you.
+That guy's ear is pierced.
+Oh noes! You killed our daughter!
+Oh noes! I kill you!
+Oh noes! Staked!
+QUICK MUSIC. QUICK MUSIC MEANS IT IS TIME TO RUN, BITCHES.
+Fat, drunk, and stupid is EXACTLY how to go through life. Too fat to leave the house, too drunk to care, and too stupid to care.
+Dammit. Dean kissing for no reason. Why must we always have the sex. The unnecessary shock value sex.
+Pride has a receding hair line. Should probably get that plugged.
+Pride has a creepy smile. Very marionette.
+Creepy fucking eyebrows
+DEAN! STOP. FUCKING. THE. DEMON. I swear to god. I'm tired of it.
+Sam's hair sure is floppy
+Shit. Here's Ruby.
+Slow-mo so you don't realize she sucks.. notice how they've never done that for anyone else... ever.
+Totally illogical moves that would accomplish nothing.
+*sigh*
+That was very Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
+I hate you, Ruby.
+I hate you, Ruby.
+I hate you, Ruby.
+Dammit, Sam! Why did you save her?
+Ruby = Still perfect
+Sam = His shit is beat up, yo.
+Where the fuck is Dean and his dirty sex-demon-body-woman-thing.
Part 6: After Sam failed to kill Ruby (Who I Hate)
+Why do they use cans of salt? And old cans at that? You'd think just buying bags of it would be cheaper and easier to deal with.
+John's pier was taller. *woot* ftw.
+STOP. Dean cannot show interest in Ruby. I will shoot myself.
+Voldemort. You let out the 7 Deadly Sins. What's next? Voldemort. And then various antagonists from Lord of the Rings. And the vacuum from “Brave Little Toaster”
+Is it a war? No. Infestation me thinks.
+Bobby don't care BITCHES! *rides off*
+Dean's ears look more... protrusive today.
+My hair is out of place, greasy, and I'm pissed off.
+They just sucked all possible emotion out of that scene. Last season the big “Dean reveals the deal to Sam” would have been a tear jerker and emotional. Maybe some Dean!tears. But no. Recycled Croatoan speech with no emotion. Blah.
+I like that Sam looking over his shoulder “You're unbelievable” “Very true”
END
I'm kind of disappointed that there weren't any major “HOLY SHIT” moments. There wasn't any “HOLY SHIT” moments in the season finale either, not really.
Rating taking into account the previous episodes and how seasons 1 and 2 opened:
C, They can do SO much better. They completely backtracked characters. Lost all depth of character, especially with Dean. The cinematographer sucked. The artistry that has been around for the previous 2 seasons isn't there.
Rating without thinking about previous episodes and how they can do better:
B, I didn't LOATHE it with intensity. I certainly didn't like it. But I didn't loathe it. It was... meh. Forgettable.