(no subject)
Title: Lessons in Living: Chapter 12 - The Challenging Beauty of Acceptance
Series: Monoshizukanohi//Naruto AU
Author: Darkprism
Genre: Drama/Romance/Kink
Rating: Overall Mature
Pairing: Tenzou & Sai and other men in my Monoshizukanohi 'verse
Word Count: Ongoing
Warnings/Notes: THIS chapter: language, D/s, Daddy kink, toys, impact play, punishment, etc.
Spoilers: None whatsoever.
Summary: A year ago, Tenzou lost the only man he ever loved, and the only man he believes he ever will love. So when an artistic prodigy many years Tenzou's junior enters his life with determined demands for love, play, and safe harbor, Tenzou is forced to face his past, remember his promises, and challenge his presumption that forever after is final.
Sai slept sprawled almost diagonally on the mattress, sheet tangled around his legs, mouth open, soft snores, almost delicate, escaping with every slow, measured breath. Stacked in a messy pile on the nightstand, the dresser, and the floor were dozens and dozens of sketches. After... well, after everything that had happened, after somehow Tenzou had regained enough sense to walk and think, Sai had pleaded for paper, for pen, and for charcoal, if Tenzou had it.
"There's some in Jack's old studio," Tenzou had said before he thought about it, and Sai was up and away and out the door before Tenzou could think to stop him or to tell Sai where said studio had been. Sai returned moments later with a sketch pad and dozens of ways to draw. He'd sat in the floor of Tenzou's room and furiously sketched.
"Light? I need light."
Tenzou turned on every light in the room, and Sai drew and drew - so quick and with violence. Forms took vague shapes, nothing finished, but there were dozens of humanoid figures - a man, naked with a towel, him sitting in a chair, him close up, a startling clear eye, just one, and on and on. Tenzou had sat in the floor, leaning against the foot of the bed, watching and not saying a word. Sai went through the entire sketch pad and then drew on the backs of some of the pages. When he was finally done, he was blackened to the elbows and out of breath.
"Memories," he explained, smearing charcoal across his forehead when he brushed hair from his eyes. "I needed to get them down so I'd remember for later." He paused, then, as though remembering Tenzou was there. "I'm sorry, Sir. Was this bad?"
"Never," Tenzou had said. "Sai, never. Any time. Anything you need."
Sai had beamed at him, crawled closer, kissed him. It took coaxing at that point, but Tenzou got Sai to a shower not full of broken glass, and then, finally, into bed in the guest room. But only after Sai had organized the sketches - put them in order, he said. Now he slept, cage and collar still on, and Tenzou paced.
At first, he'd tried to lie down in his own bed, but that'd been futile. He'd started to clean up the glass, but there was so much and he'd cut himself in less than a minute. Later. He'd handle it later. His eyes were so dry, and he was so thirsty that he worried about his health.
The only thing that seemed to calm him down at all was watching Sai sleep, and he'd been doing it for an hour. His mind was blank, and not pleasantly so. He was confused. Faintly worried. The fear of some kind of failure loomed like an event horizon for a black hole from which there was no return. He was terrified of that sensation and had no idea why. Not really.
And something Sai had said clanged around in his mind like a monkey with a pair of cymbals: "How this ends matters so much less than letting us begin."
And another thing - where had Sai learned how to speak like that? All that use of honorifics and careful reasoning and body positioning... Sai wasn't manipulative. He was too blunt and forthright and there was nothing to manipulate around. Sai wasn't afraid of his desires nor of Tenzou not conceding to them. But that chair and how the entire blow job had gone down had been straight out of...
The grandfather clock struck the hour, and Tenzou jumped. He knew enough to know when he was in over his head, and he wasn't too proud to admit it or ask for help. When Sai woke up, when dawn finally came, the boy would expect more Scene or a reasonable explanation as to why he was being summarily packed up and put out on the sidewalk. Tenzou didn't know if he should do the first and feared he would have to do the second.
Quietly going downstairs so as not to disturb Sai, though it didn't seem as though fireworks on the top floor landing would manage that, Tenzou grabbed his phone and called up his Favorites. He hit buttons and the phone began to ring out.
"Tenzou?" Iruka answered on the fourth ring.
"Iruka?" Tenzou glanced the phone. No, he'd very clearly dialed Kakashi. "I'm sorry. I was trying to reach Kakashi."
"At one in the morning," Iruka said, not a question.
"I know. It's late. I didn't think it'd... I've disturbed you. I'm sorry. I'll-"
"We were awake, Tenzou. Stop it. It's just that Kakashi is indisposed."
It'd been a long night, and Tenzou didn't get the gist at first. Panic fluttered, instead. "Is he all right?"
Iruka chuckled. "Oh, better than." There was a pause, and then Tenzou heard the tell-tale sounds of a man very much completely and totally all right, if perhaps bound, gagged, and being consensually tormented by something with a motor, if the droning sound was any indication. Tenzou blushed, embarrassed that he wasn't faster on the take.
"I think it's a rig you'd be proud of," Iruka said. "Lots of rope. You know. But he was just getting to that place I like so much, where he forgets the weight of the world he carries around, and I'd rather not interrupt his descent."
"No, I... yes. I completely understand."
Iruka paused for a moment, then hummed. "So you'll just need to speak to me, then."
"You?" Tenzou said, wincing immediately at his tone.
Iruka laughed. "Yes, Tenzou. Me. Even I know you well enough that if you're calling Kashi in the middle of the damned night, something's wrong, but not so wrong that you're not on our doorstep or that we're hearing about it tomorrow morning on Twitter."
"Fucking Twitter," Tenzou said with a sigh, and he ran a hand through his hair.
"I know. So, come on, then. I just adjusted settings and Kakashi. He'll be good for at least a half hour, maybe more. And I've got eyes on him. What's going on?"
"I..." Tenzou swallowed. "I don't know where to start."
"Is it your Sai? The new boy? Kakashi's kept me briefed, so to speak."
"I bet he has." Tenzou sighed. "I'm going to sound insane."
"Tenzou?"
"Mm?"
"I live with Kakashi, Naruto is like my nephew, I can still remember Neji making children weep with nothing more than a look, and I attended every one of your rather memorable birthday parties. Fond memories of the dining room table. So I might not be in the thick of it quite like Kakashi or you, but I assure you, there's very little I find off-putting."
"How are you with ghosts?" Tenzou deadpanned.
"Let's find out."
Tenzou started with the cleaners and that fiasco and culminated in the night's mirror incident and blow job. He didn't leave anything out, including the details of the Scene and his panic attack. When he was done, Iruka made a contemplative sound. "Fascinating."
"You think so?" Tenzou asked wearily, stopping his pacing and collapsing into a chair in the living room. He didn't think he could risk going into the rec room for fear the walls would start whispering again.
"Yes." A long pause. "All right, Tenzou. Do you want this put nicely or do you want this put bluntly?"
Tenzou braced. "Bluntly, please."
"All right, but just bear in mind that Kakashi is the smooth talker. I find it more difficult." He took a breath. "I think this is one issue with many layers. I believe in all sorts of things, and have had my fair share of experiences with ghosts. One memorable time in a haunted mansion comes to mind. Suffice to say, I think there are all kinds of things out there that happen that we can't easily explain.
"I also think that ghosts can be representations of our own minds. Sort of, reflections? And I think that as you've gotten to know Sai and come closer to acknowledging how you feel, your metaphoric and possibly literal ghosts have become restless. And I think that's happening because of your own fear."
"Fear of what?" Tenzou asked. "Of which?"
"And Tenzou," Iruka continued, ignoring the questions, "you're making a mistake with Sai."
Tenzou's blood ran cold. "I am?"
"Yes. You're trying to treat him as though he were a casual play partner. Someone you and Jack would have picked up at Break and had fun with for a few weeks. But Sai is not that. He's much more. He's a lover, or a potential one. Maybe even a partner. Whatever his role ultimately will be, Tenzou, you love him. And you have for a while."
Tenzou drew in a shaking breath. He stared at his feet, wiggled his toes just to make sure this was his body he was still in.
"And Tenzou, you have always had very strict rules about what you do with people in bed who weren't Jack. Even when you played all the time, even at the height of your side business and the parties, you had very clear rules. Jack was your lover; your partner and husband. The rest were men you fucked or who blew you, but you never let them cross certain lines."
It was true. Tenzou sat back in the chair and stared at the ceiling. He'd not forgotten, but he'd not thought about any of that in so long. He'd made himself not think about it. How only Jack was allowed to take him, no one else. That was a rule that Jack had made. But also Tenzou didn't blow anyone else during a Scene. He could make Jack do that, but he was not to. He could kiss other men if Jack was there, but only then. He could beat them all black and blue, so long as Jack was there - participating, watching, or just in the house, but he had to be there. Tenzou had insisted on it.
And it wasn't all fucking or beating. There were other small, particular things that Jack insisted were only for the two of them. Like ears - Tenzou's were off limits to anyone other than Jack.
"They might get your cock and your tongue up their ass and your kiss, but I'm the only one who's going to lick your ear and whisper what you like."
"Tenzou?" Iruka asked, concerned.
"I'm here," Tenzou croaked.
"Mm. I've often wondered if the reason you didn't so much as look at other men after Jack was gone was because of those rules. They all revolved around Jack being there, with you. And Jack... isn't there anymore. He's not there to say it's okay."
"He did say it," Tenzou said hoarsely, eyes wet. "Before he went, I mean. He said it. He said all the things you say, you know. When you're going and there's someone left behind that you want to be happy."
"Of course he did, but Tenzou... With his consent or not, I don't think you could break those rules except in very specific circumstances. Very specific emotional circumstances."
"What are you saying?" Tenzou asked, thinking he already knew but needing to hear it.
"I think you hold the lines you do with Sai on sex not only because of your concern for him, and I do think that's reasonable, but also because you know if you do cross those lines - break those rules that Jack told you to break - then you'd be acknowledging that you love someone else. I believe that you would only have sex with someone without Jack here if you loved them and if you thought you could love them and be with them, in a way similar to how you were with Jack. That kind of depth and connection."
"No one will ever be him, Iruka," Tenzou said, ignoring the break in his voice and wiping his face.
"I know. But with Sai, I think you've found someone you match up with so well, that it's close."
"Then why all the angst?" Tenzou said, sniffing. "Because I love him? That should be... Well, that's a good thing, isn't it?"
Iruka was quiet for a long moment. "Tenzou, yes, it's a good thing. A wonderful thing. But if you sleep with him, admit you love him, then you're doing something else, too."
The realization hit Tenzou almost at the same time as he heard Sai-
"The way this ends matters so much less..."
-and Iruka say, "It means you have to face the idea of losing him, too."
"Oh hell." Tenzou dropped the hand that held the phone to his knee and covered his face with his other arm. He felt numb and hot at the same time. He pulled at the collar of his t-shirt until he heard the seams complain. Iruka was speaking again, faint and tinny, and Tenzou gathered up the willpower to put the phone back to his ear.
"-the greatest deception," Iruka was saying. "We'll all lose. We're destined to it. We spend our lives pretending we have forever knowing that we don't. I'll lose..." He clearly couldn't finish. "Or he'll lose me. I have to tell you, I hope it's me that goes last. One of us will carry that weight, and I don't want it to be him. I worry it'll break him, just like I worry it'll break me." He chuckled without mirth. "And you will lose again, Tenzou. You'll lose Kakashi or one of the kids or all of the above. And you'll lose Sai, one way or the other.
"But you can't let that rule your life. All we can do is play this game the best we can. Try to win what victories we can manage and be grateful for those spoils. Experience all life has to offer as many times and as many ways as we can figure out how to do it. It's why we love Scene; it's our chosen avenue to experience our own limits - to push them and feel and be more - in a relatively safe and sane way.
"I think your Sai has all that figured out better than the rest of us, honestly. I think that's why he's been giving you such confusing signals on the limits. I don't think he's asking you to break your word - that clearly means a lot to him. The fact that you will stand by your word, not change it or break it just because circumstances get heated might mean more than we understand to him.
"But I think he knows how you feel. I think he knows how he feels. I think he wants that emotional connection and can't put it into words, so it comes out as wanting physicality. He thinks that's what will do it for him - thinks the sex will be the connection he craves with you. And in a way, he's dead right. You wouldn't sleep with anyone other than Jack whom you didn't love. He's chosen you, and he wants to be the next one you choose."
"He already is," Tenzou said quietly.
"I know," Iruka agreed.
"What about..." Tenzou stood again, pacing. "What about the rest of it? The disturbances? The changes in Sai's behavior?"
"Well," Iruka began, clearly thinking it through. "Several things come to mind. One is that we all know people act differently during Scene. Perhaps what you witnessed was a side of Sai that only comes out when all his guards are down."
"Maybe." Tenzou mulled that over, finding that puzzle piece didn't quite fit.
"And for another thought, your conscience might be using your memory of Jack to ease your guilt about loving someone new. It's a great comfort to you, that Jack is still there, somehow. And even if he's not a ghost, he definitely lives in your mind and memories.
"But, well, maybe..." Iruka huffed a sigh that ended with a light laugh. "Maybe Jack is there. He really is a ghost. And if he is, and if you've heard him, then maybe so has Sai."
"What?" Tenzou asked, stopping still in his tracks.
"It's possible, isn't it? If you can hear him, if your cleaners can experience a fit of his frustration or rage or whatever that was, then why couldn't Sai be hearing him? Even be seeing him? Taking hints and tips and tricks? You know Jack always loved to be a mischievous little imp."
"Ha, yeah. Yeah he... Did." Tenzou trailed off, thinking of nothing and everything at the same time.
"Maybe that's why there were differences in his behavior after the dinner table scene," Iruka continued. "And good job, there, by the way. I'm stealing that."
Tenzou managed a dry chuckle. "Happy to help, but don't tell Kakashi it was my idea."
"Are you kidding? I'm going to tell him you told me to try it out, specifically." Iruka laughed, but he cut it off short. "Hm. I need to get back to Kakashi soon. Are you all right, Tenzou?"
"I'm better, yes, thank you for talking with me."
"You're welcome."
"I just have to figure out what to do, now."
Iruka made a rude noise. "Well, if your boy is anything like the more devious submissives we're familiar with, he's probably up in his room doing something he shouldn't in the hopes you'll come check on him and catch him in the act."
"Kakashi's almost out of the knots?" Tenzou guessed.
"Mm. He only struggles like this when things feel particularly-"
"Go," Tenzou said, attempting to make it sound neither like an order or like what it was: a strained effort not to envision his best friend in entirely interesting predicaments. "And Iruka, sincerely, thank you."
"We love you, Tenzou, Kakashi and I. Anything I can do to help is an honor."
Tenzou hung up the phone and stared at the floor for a long moment before he left the living room and headed for the guest room. Wicked voices of doubt demanded Tenzou explain what he would do, exactly, if he found Sai up to naughty good when alone and without Tenzou's eyes on him.
Tenzou could only answer them honestly: I have no fucking idea.
Oddly, that shut the voices down, and it was with a mostly clear head that Tenzou approached the guest room door. There was a dim light on - the bedside lamp, Tenzou thought - and the part of him that couldn't possibly fathom Sai breaking the rules, any rules, was struck dumb at the sight that greeted Tenzou when he peered into the room through the narrowly open door.
Sai was on his back, knees bent and spread wide. The cage was mostly off, only the base ring still in place, and another piece of it was in his hand as he held it up to the light, examining it. With his other hand, he was almost idly fondling his hole and fingering himself, shallowly. Facing away from the door, Sai didn't register Tenzou's presence.
Several possible scenarios laid themselves out in front of Tenzou like drawn cards.
Option One was to leave Sai to it. No doubt the boy would put himself back in the cage and to rights by morning. The idea rankled, but there was a weary piece of Tenzou that didn't mind the thought of leaving Sai be, of not sorting this at all but just leaving and trying to sleep again. But that seemed cowardly and, worse, it had the potential to disappoint Sai if somehow he suspected Tenzou had caught him or seen him and not done anything about it.
Option Two was to call off the Scene. Tenzou had caught Sai breaking their contract. Maybe not outright - Tenzou hadn't specifically said what Sai could and couldn't do when alone. In fact, he'd said if the cage was bothering him to come find Tenzou with the strong implication that Tenzou would take it off. Hell, he'd tried to take it off, and the boy had refused. Tenzou had specifically told Sai to take a shower and try to get some sleep, but he'd said nothing about random fondling. So long as Sai didn't get off, then he was still more or less within the boundaries.
No, it was more a breaking of the spirit of their contract than anything else. And that didn't warrant completely cutting Sai off, did it?
Tenzou didn't think so. He didn't want that, anyway, or so he discovered while watching in abject fascination as the tip of Sai's middle finger disappeared into Sai's body.
Which left Option Three: retaliation. Punishment. Finding a way to wipe the slate clean. Pretty heady stuff considering everything that had already happened that night, but Tenzou couldn't deny how fast his sadistic streak woke up and flexed at the thought. They'd discussed impact play, after all. It was supposed to be something they saved for day two, if at all, but...
It's well after midnight on day one. You know that, yes?
Hearing Jack's voice that time didn't freak Tenzou out; that was the version of Jack that resided in his skull and had been there since he and Jack had been together.
And Jack had a point. Tenzou had stored some toys in the dresser in the guest room, on the chance that perhaps they'd end up playing in the room and-
"Oh?" Sai said quietly, and it was definitely a question. "I'd thought of it, of course, but..." A pause. "How does it feel?" A pause and then a chuckle. "Okay."
Sai hopped off the bed and disappeared. Tenzou retreated into the shadows of the hallway, waiting with a thudding heart. His mind was static as Sai returned with a bottle of lube with the label rubbed off. Well used, that bottle, and it had no doubt been hidden behind half a dozen other things under the sink. Certainly, if a guest had the time to rummage, they may have found it, but Sai located the bottle with unerring accuracy in less than five seconds.
"I know, but you're here to tell me how so that I won't." Sai sounded almost irritated as he flopped onto the bed and quickly coated the cage's urethral stim with lubricant. He snorted with derision. "I wouldn't do that. I'm not an idiot and I'm not-" He stopped speaking, lowering the dripping stim to his cock and steadying the shaft with his other hand. "Thank you," he said, and then he inserted the cage's stim into the tip of his dick with a sharp hiss.
Tenzou almost echoed it, wincing and too dumbfounded by what he was hearing and then immediately too turned on as Sai slowly - carefully, and clearly with guidance - began to fuck his urethra with the stim. Sai's face twisted into a grimace caught between pain and pleasure. His belly rose and fell with deep breaths. And on the third slow insertion, a soft, "Ah" escaped his mouth as his toes curled.
Tenzou didn't remember pushing open the door and stepping into the room, but he must have made an entrance. Sai scramble-shoved himself against the headboard, the stim easing out of the tip of his dick and falling onto the sheets. Sai remained plastered to the wall for many heartbeats, not breathing but meeting Tenzou's gaze with wide, frightened eyes. They hovered there, half a dozen emotions warring inside Tenzou and clearly many also doing battle in Sai, as the boy lifted and lowered his hands, bit his lip, tried to speak, and finally slid off the bed with insane speed.
"I'm sorry, Sir I-"
Tenzou shoved Sai into the wall and kissed him with a brutality that shocked some small, quiet part of him not currently ablaze with instincts that were overriding any and all caution or possibly sense. Sai tried to meet Tenzou's urgency, but Tenzou didn't allow him enough air. Sai slapped at Tenzou's shoulders, breathing frantically through his nose. Tenzou bit Sai's lip hard enough to draw blood, and Sai cried out. Then Tenzou put a loose hand around Sai's throat, and Sai went stock still. Tenzou petted the collar, spent long seconds calling attention to it, and then sighed.
"Well. That was disappointing," Tenzou intoned, quiet and without any of the emotions lashing through him like hurricanes. He stepped away, feigning indifference, looking as though he were going to the door but with every intention of going to the dresser to retrieve toys, instead. He never made it.
"No!" Sai yelled, and then a weight struck Tenzou in the back and forced him to flex his knees and legs to find balance. Tenzou yelled in shock, and Sai clung to Tenzou's back like a demonic monkey. "No, no, no!" He chanted at a volume deafening enough that Tenzou did spare a moment to be thankful for large tracts of land between his home and his neighbors.
With a rough noise, Tenzou flung Sai off him and onto the bed. Sai was immediately trying to raise up onto his knees, and Tenzou forcefully put Sai on his back. When Sai tried to get up again, Tenzou put a heavy hand on Sai's chest and wrapped his other fist around Sai's balls. Sai made a sound like he choked on a hiccough, and Tenzou deftly tugged Sai's nuts away from Sai's body, wrapping fingers around the sac's skin while his hand held steady pressure. He did it carefully, deliberately, and Sai stopped struggling, both hands around each of Tenzou's wrists but not applying any pressure.
"I'm sorry," Sai rasped.
"Sai," Tenzou warned in a low growl.
"I kissed you badly. Was that what you meant? You were disappointed. You said! I was-"
"No, Sai." Tenzou took a breath. "Try again."
Sai's eyes darted over Tenzou's features. He struggled with his words. "I... he... You're so..." His breath hitched. "He said it would be all right, and I wanted to-"
It was a sign of a truly crazy intense night that Tenzou cared less about finding out what his dead husband's ghost had been sharing with his current Scene partner and more about fixing the issues at hand, but there he was. "In this house and with that collar on, whom do you obey, boy?"
Sai swallowed. "You, Daddy."
"Don't sweet talk me," Tenzou ordered with a snarl.
"Sorry, Sir."
"Better. And what were you doing?"
"I was... I... I was using the cock cage to see what it would feel like to-"
"No, Sai." Tenzou took a breath and squeezed Sai's genitals for emphasis, loving the way Sai's jaw dropped and his eyebrows knitted together; loving the flush and the heat and stink of sweat and lust and anxiety that filled the room. "What. Were. You. Doing?"
Desire and despair did war across Sai's face, and despair won. "I don't know!" he wailed. "I don't-"
Tenzou let go of his grip on Sai and bent to prop himself up on his elbows, hovering so their noses touched. "Were you listening to someone other than me?" Tenzou asked softly, gently.
Sai nodded.
"Say it out loud, Sai."
"Yes, Sir. I was listening to-"
"And that means," Tenzou interrupted, tone full of caution, "what, boy?"
Sai's swallow was audible. "That I wasn't obeying... you?"
"Very good, boy," Tenzou said, and the tension release in Sai rolled over Tenzou like a heatwave.
"And not obeying you means I was bad," Sai said, with an alarming tone in his voice.
"Sai-"
"Which means you'll leave me?"
"No."
Panic filled Sai's eyes. "You were leaving. You turned away. You said-"
Tenzou swiftly reached down and took hold of Sai's cock, effectively cutting Sai off. He stroked with an insistent gentleness and kissed Sai with guiding force. Sai tried to kiss back, but ended up gasping into Tenzou's mouth, whole body squirming in the cage made by Tenzou's arms and body. When Sai was hard and his lower half was rising and falling to the rhythm of Tenzou's hand; when the boy was shuddering and closing in on the brink of pleasure, Tenzou slowed and released Sai.
"More?" Sai whispered at once.
"First a choice, boy," Tenzou said, and Sai nuzzled against Tenzou like a cat. "You can get off and we stop the Scene."
"No," Sai whispered fiercely.
"I wasn't finished, Sai."
"I know. But I want something else. I want to create the other option."
"What do you want?" Tenzou asked, meeting Sai's gaze.
Sai tried to kiss Tenzou, but he retreated out of the boy's range. "I disappointed you-"
"Sai-" Tenzou tried to break in to explain, again, but Sai wouldn't let him.
"-and I want to make it right. When boys are bad they..."
"They what, Sai?" Tenzou prompted.
"They get punished, don't they, Sir?"
Tenzou studied Sai. "Sometimes." He struggled and finally found the courage to continue. "And this is you talking, Sai, and not...?"
"He's not here," Sai whispered, barely audible. "He left when you came in."
"Because he'd gotten you into trouble," Tenzou said, not making it a question.
"No," Sai said, and then frowned, thinking. "At least I don't think so. He said, 'There he is' like he was proud then he left."
Jack's capacity to cause no end of chaos even from the grave was mind blowing. Tenzou rested a moment, feeling the burr of stubble on Sai's cheeks and kissing the boy's jaw. "You can make it up to me," Tenzou finally said. "You were right. That was the other option. Get off and stop the Scene or make it up to me."
Sai fisted Tenzou's t-shirt with both hands. "The second option. I want that one. So long as..."
Tenzou pushed himself up and above Sai. Balancing on one hand, he cupped Sai's jaw. "So long as what?"
Sai yanked Tenzou closer in a show of strength that reminded Tenzou that his physical control was but an illusion. Sai's mouth hovered over Tenzou's, lips almost touching. "So long as you'll make it hurt?"
Tenzou stifled a groan. "Oh, it'll hurt, boy. I'll make sure of it."
Sai's shudder was visible. He rutted against Tenzou's leg. "And can it also feel good? Just a little?"
A plan quickly sketched itself in Tenzou's mind. "That depends on how well you take the pain, Sai."
Sai dragged his teeth along Tenzou's jawline. "I'll take it, Sir. I'll show you. I will take it very well."
Heat lanced through Tenzou, and he went from half-hard to fully aroused. "We'll see, boy. First your color."
"Green," Sai all but yelled.
"Then go to the top drawer of the dresser and bring me everything you find inside." Tenzou rolled off Sai, letting him up. While Sai flew to the dresser, Tenzou slid off the mattress and stood next to the bed. Without Sai against him and driving him insane, some of his better sense returned. He weighed options: they'd done so much already. Sai seemed fine, but the crash of this Scene already had the potential to be truly epic. Tenzou would need to find a careful balance between punishment, pleasure, and pushing boundaries.
Because God knew Sai was going to put a wrecking ball through any barrier he found.
Sai dumped an armful of toys onto the foot of the bed, eying them with unveiled delight and an unflagging erection. He picked up a metal ring, almost dropping it when the weight surprised him.
"Ball stretcher and weight," Tenzou explained.
Sai mouthed the words silently and gingerly placed the ring on the bed, staring at it with unchecked curiosity. Tenzou smirked to himself, and slowly walked around to the foot of the bed, standing next to Sai. Tenzou deliberately plucked up a blindfold - heavy, padded - and after a moment the metal ring as well. Then he arranged a few paddles and a couple of floggers, all of them lighter in their impacts, in a row. "Pick your pain, Sai."
Without any deliberation, Sai snatched up the wooden paddle. It was a thin, solid piece of composite, lightweight wood that could sting up a storm but keep most of the damage on the surface of the skin. Tenzou accepted it from Sai. "Why this one?" he asked, wanting to know.
"It will hit harder than the leather ones. There aren't any with holes, which would have been my first choice. You look good with more natural materials in your hands, and it makes me feel small, like a bad boy sent to detention though I've never had detention," Sai said in a single, breathless rush. Tenzou's cock throbbed as Sai swallowed, full attention on the tool in Tenzou's hand. "I want to know how it will feel."
"Very good, boy," Tenzou said with pride warming his tone. "On the bed."
Sai didn't move. Instead, he stared at the blindfold in Tenzou's fist. "Are you going to use that, Sir?"
"Yes, boy, I'd thought I would."
Sai licked his lips. He clearly wanted to say more and hesitated.
"What is it, Sai?" Tenzou prompted.
"Could you... can I ask for something even though this is punishment?"
"Depends on what it is."
Sai nodded. "Could you tie up my hands if you're going to use the blindfold?"
Tenzou really needed to turn up the air conditioning. "Why should I do that, Sai?"
Sai hugged himself and stepped closer to Tenzou. "I want to feel like I couldn't get away and like I couldn't take off the blindfold. Even though I know I wouldn't, even if I was tempted to try." Sai frowned. "But I want to feel like I definitely couldn't do it."
Scene crash later be damned, Tenzou would get them through it. He tossed everything onto the bed and pulled Sai to him. The kiss went on for long moments, and Tenzou tried to feel every piece of Sai's skin as he gently walked Sai backward to the side of the bed. "Climb on," he ordered.
This time, Sai obeyed, coming to rest on his knees on the side of the mattress closest to Tenzou. "Good," Tenzou said. "Stay there for a moment."
Tenzou fetched the weighted ball stretcher first, opting not for the one Sai had picked up but a different one in a smaller size. It'd fit Sai's anatomy better, Tenzou thought. Both rings were on the heavier side, but far from something intended to be painful. More something meant to draw attention to sensation. When he approached Sai with it, Sai put his arms behind his back without being asked. "Any real pain, and what do you do?" Tenzou asked, opening the metal ring and carefully sliding it around the base of Sai's sac. It'd fit nice and snug against the base of the cock ring, still in place.
"Call yellow, Sir," Sai said, neck bent and watching. He sucked a sharper inhale when the short shaft of the metal ring tugged Sai's nuts away from his body. He didn't make a sound when Tenzou carefully closed the ring and let the weight go. Sai sank lower on the bed, as if that would offset the sensation in his balls, and breathed through his mouth.
"Good boy," Tenzou said. Initially, he'd intended Sai to lay flat on his belly, but after that reaction, Tenzou changed his mind. He grabbed a couple of pillows and helped Sai maneuver until Sai was bent over the pillows, knees and elbows on the bed and torso supported. Tenzou grabbed a pair of cuffs attached by links along with a short leather lead with a clasp at one end and carabiner at the other. He put Sai's wrists in the cuffs and hooked the central link to one of the metal bedposts. Without being prompted, Sai tested the hold, moaning softly when everything held him. Tenzou stroked the length of Sai's spine, sweeping his hands across Sai's ass. Tenzou reached between Sai's legs and stroked his softened cock, eliciting a flinch and gasp out of Sai. "Perfect," Tenzou murmured. He kept stroking and grabbed the blindfold with his free hand. "One more thing," he said, releasing Sai to put the blindfold around Sai's head. He adjusted the straps and made sure Sai's hair wasn't caught in his eyes.
"Feel okay?" Tenzou asked when he was done, and Sai nodded. He worried at his lower lip, again. "What color, Sai?"
"Green, Daddy," Sai said softly, and then, as though catching himself, "Sir. Green, Sir."
Tenzou caressed Sai's skin. "I can be either, here, boy," Tenzou said gently. He caught Sai's chin, studying the boy's face masked by the heavy, black blind. "I find punishment is heightened when you can't quite tell when or what is coming." He brushed a thumb across Sai's lower lip and pushed his thumb into Sai's mouth. Sai sucked at it. "And I love this, Sai. You, bent over and bound and waiting for what comes next. Knowing you picked something that will hurt." Tenzou leaned in and spoke in Sai's ear. "And it will, boy. I promise."
A shudder rocked Sai and goosebumps broke over his skin. Tenzou slid off the bed and picked up the paddle, moving it closer for when he needed it. He deliberately didn't touch Sai for a full minute, watching and biding his time. He watched Sai adjust on the bed, trying to get more comfortable and not managing it, really. When Tenzou finally touched Sai, it was to caress Sai's bound balls, and Sai jerked, the clink of metal lead loud in the room. Tenzou chuckled and began kneading Sai's ass and legs, all the while petting and tugging on Sai's bound nuts. Tenzou discovered if he did it just right, Sai whimpered around a quiet gasp, and the sound went straight to Tenzou's dick.
"W-warming up the skin," Sai said quietly.
"What's that?" Tenzou asked.
"You're warming up... my skin..." Sai repeated.
"Very good, boy. I am. You've done all your homework, haven't you?"
"Yes," Sai said.
Tenzou spanked Sai with an open palm. Sai jerked but didn't make a sound. "Yes, what, boy?"
"Sir," Sai said, voice clear and focused. "Sorry, Sir."
"Better." Tenzou resumed his massage, swiping his fingertips over Sai's hole without any probing.
"When will... when will it start, Sir?" Sai asked after a long moment of building anticipation.
"When I feel like it, boy."
Sai's head dropped onto his forearms, and Tenzou picked up the paddle. He put a knee on the bed and steadied Sai with one guiding hand on Sai's lower back. "We'll start slow. Two strikes. Each side. Here." Tenzou petted the fullest part of Sai's right ass cheek with the paddle. "And here." He did the same motion on the left side. He teased the paddle over the full of Sai's ass and thighs. "Think you can handle that?"
"Yes, Sir," Sai said, and the annoyance at the delay was clear.
Tenzou chuckled, and he petted and stroked Sai's skin with the paddle until he felt the anticipatory tension in Sai's body begin to wane. And just as Sai relaxed, Tenzou struck fast: one two, one two. Medium strength and no break in between.
Sai jerked on the chain and twisted around, as though he could see what had just happened. His mouth was open and his legs and backside flexed.
"What do you think, boy?" Tenzou asked.
"It... that was... that's not all, is it, Sir?"
"Oh, no. That's not all. You'll take two more sets like that for your punishment. And then that will be all."
"Two more sets?" Sai repeated. "That's... and then it's done, Sir?"
"It is," Tenzou confirmed. He rubbed Sai's lower back. "Is that a problem, boy?"
"N-no?" Sai said, clearly unsure. "But... if... I liked... What if I want more than that, Sir?"
Tenzou laughed. He bent and kissed the nape of Sai's neck. "If you want more after that, Sai, then it becomes something else. Something you ask for and I give you because I'm generous and because you like it."
Sai made a soft noise that was muffled by the bed. Tenzou watched him, for a moment and then took up position again. "Eight more and then we're done. You've made it up to me. Do you understand me, Sai?"
"Yes, Sir. Eight more and punishment is done."
"Good boy." Tenzou didn't give any warning. The blows rained quick and hard and in exactly the same places on each side. Sai flinched side to side and forward, and he called out a quick, staccato sound after the last strike hit.
"There. Done. And taken beautifully."
"Thank you, Sir." He was barely even breathless. Goddamn.
"Mm. Shall we undo you, then?" Tenzou asked, hand on the cuffs.
"No," Sai answered, now breathy but still clear. "Please? I want more. I think... I think I like it."
"You think so?" Tenzou asked, the wicked delight pumping through his body turning his voice into a purr.
"It stings. And it keeps stinging. It's still stinging. And it makes me feel like... like I'm trapped with it. And I want to stay trapped for a while longer. If that's... please? Sir?"
Tenzou bent and held Sai's chin, gently, as he kissed him, soft and slow. He kissed Sai's cheek and the shell of Sai's ear. "I'll trap you in your cage, sweet one." Sai's breathing hitched, and Tenzou crooned quietly. "I'll trap and keep you there this time and any time. You're one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, Sai."
Sai trembled, and Tenzou hugged him close. "Call 'yellow' if it's too much, understood?"
Sai nodded against the bed, his chin dimpled and jaw tense. Tenzou rained kisses until finally Sai gasped a breath. "Yes, Daddy."
"Good boy," Tenzou said.
Tenzou moved behind Sai, took up the paddle, and warned himself to keep count; he would not give too much or push Sai too far. He had his words, yes, but Tenzou knew himself when he was like this. He was riding a high, in control given to him by a willing partner. He'd tried MDMA once, in the Army, and often thought, years later, that the sensations of Dom high and Ecstasy were similar: on overload without actually red-lining an engine; completely on line and attuned with almost preternatural clarity.
Tenzou fucking lived for that shit, and fuck all but he'd missed it.
He began with a set of swift, medium strikes up the backs of Sai's thighs, and then, he let instinct take over. He swallowed Sai's cries and curses like fine drink, and when Sai squirmed to the headboard, Tenzou barked a laugh. "Where do you think you're going, boy?" Tenzou grabbed Sai by the bound nuts and Sai quickly followed Tenzou's pulls back into position. "Maybe I should just hang on, here, hm?"
Tenzou paddled Sai with one hand holding the boy by the ball stretcher, and Sai's indignant yells were music to Tenzou's ears.
But he kept count - how many strikes, and where, and how hard. He watched the flex of muscle and monitored the color of Sai's skin. There was a moment when they could have kept right on going, but Tenzou stopped. Sai gasped for breath, and Tenzou slid off the bed.
"One moment, love," Tenzou said. "I think we need something more."
"More?" Sai cried, alarmed.
Tenzou clucked his tongue and quickly opened a box. "Yes. More. You're doing so well that I think it's time for a little reward."
Sai moaned and arched backward, his body straining toward Tenzou. "I'm coming," Tenzou said, grabbing the lube and coating the anal plug with a generous amount of slick. It was a fat, lengthy, silicone toy that would be more challenging than what Sai had taken at the dining table, earlier. It had a powerful little motor and it was thicker in places meant to stimulate the prostate.
"I've not personally tried this model," Tenzou mused, once again on the bed behind Sai. "So I need you to tell me how it feels, mm?"
Sai's head turned toward Tenzou, so Tenzou saw when Sai's mouth dropped open so a low, guttural noise of pleasure could escape as Tenzou nudged the toy against Sai's hole. Tenzou watched Sai's body suck at the toy, stretch around it. Sai cried out when he clearly felt the full width enter him. "I know, boy, I know," Tenzou soothed. "Slowly, now. I know you can take this."
Tenzou eased the toy into Sai's body, rocking it when he felt resistance and watching with abject, heated fascination as Sai trembled and flexed and pushed into the toy and also away from it. When Sai's body gave and the toy slid deeper, Sai let out a broken cry, wordless, and Tenzou nudged the toy home. Its wide base kept it from sliding too far inside, and the material kept it from sliding out. Tenzou poured out praise as he fumbled for the remote, attached to a wire to the base of the plug. Tenzou flicked it on and watched Sai thrust against the pillows, grunting as he rutted.
"Very good, Sai," Tenzou said, back on his knees behind Sai. "Let's see how you do with this."
Tenzou allowed himself only four more firm strikes and then dropped the paddle. He licked Sai's bright red skin and sank teeth into one cheek. Sai cursed black and blue and crawled up the bed. Tenzou grabbed him and rolled Sai off the pillows and onto his back. Sai was slick with sweat and flushed all over.
He was also beautifully hard.
"I think it's time to repay favors, boy. You've earned it."
Tenzou didn't think Sai heard him, and that was all right. Tenzou bent to Sai's cock and sucked it into his mouth and down his throat in one fluid motion. Sai's sounds broke into pieces. His body went rigid. Tenzou held him down and bobbed, fast and furious and in long, deep sucks.
Sai came with a hoarse wail, and Tenzou swallowed every drop; suckled at him until Sai feebly tried to escape the sensation. He came off Sai with an obscene slurp, wiping his chin. Sai was pulling on the lead and the cuffs, and Tenzou undid the lead and quickly got Sai's wrists out of the cuffs. Sai tucked in on himself, quiet - too quiet.
The bottom fell out of Tenzou's high. "Sai?" he asked. "Hang on, Sai." He maneuvered Sai onto one side, and turned off the toy. He grasped it and eased it out of Sai's body, dropping it to one side of the bed. Still Sai was quiet and his breathing was too rapid for Tenzou's taste.
Tenzou stripped off his shirt and grabbed the blanket. He laid down next to Sai and reached for the blindfold, but when he touched it, Sai jerked away. "No!"
"Okay, Sai, okay," Tenzou said. He felt sick and terrified and the kind of desperate that made him think he was going to actually split out of his skin, but then suddenly Sai lunged at him.
"Tight," Sai said, over and over. "Tight, tight."
At first, Tenzou thought Sai might meant the blindfold, but then Sai wrapped himself around Tenzou and Tenzou understood. He pulled Sai close, tipping so no part of his ass or legs were on the bed. He hugged Sai to him, squeezing as much as he dared and then more when Sai ordered, "Tighter." Tenzou entwined their legs and cupped the back of Sai's head, tucking it under Tenzou's chin.
"I've got you," Tenzou said, and realized he'd been saying it - that and a dozen other reassuring, soft-spoken words. "I'm here. You're safe. It's me, Sai."
"I know," Sai said, clearer than Tenzou had been expecting. Tenzou held Sai like he was attempting to merge their bodies into one, and just when he began to worry again, Sai started to squirm. Tenzou let up the pressure, and Sai yanked off the blindfold. He blinked, squinting and resisting Tenzou's embrace. Tenzou relented, confused.
When Sai could finally focus, he found Tenzou's gaze and held it. He reached up to his throat and ripped off the collar in two brutal tugs. Tenzou's heart fell into his guts, but Sai kissed him, stopping the full panic descent.
"Do not," Sai said, kissing between words. "Leave me. Alone. Tonight." He put his forehead against Tenzou's. "I sleep with you."
"Yes," Tenzou said, hugging Sai to him when Sai finally let him. Tenzou thought his chest would crack from the pressure of his full heart. "I'm not going anywhere without you."
Sai sighed and relaxed and kissed Tenzou's chest, right over the pressure, as though he knew it was there.
~*~
...and yet even more tags get added to this story.
I fucking loved writing Iruka and Kakashi in this section. And 100 points to your House if you can name the story that's referred to in this chapter. *wink*
Long night of play is long; good thing these guys are basically superhuman. And at least one of them is getting some excellent tips from beyond the pale.
Thank you everyone for reading!
Enjoy - I KNOW I DID!
xoxo
<3Dee
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∞ I don’t own any characters in any fandom; I just entice them into doing things they never thought possible. The originals though, if present, are all mine. I also own the world, Monoshizukanohi, and all the places therein.
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