Look who's updating!?!?!
I completely flipped out yesterday. I was so depressed, didn't eat enough, smoked far too much and drank too much coffee. Needless to say, I called my sponsor four times, the last time absolutely flipping out. It was on the verge of an anxiety attack...poor thing had to talk to me and console me, tell me to keep talking "sweetheart"...I'm just grateful as all hell right now, thinking back. I'm so motherfucking annoying, but she said it's what she signed on for and that if she picks up, then she's mine and not to appologize or worry about it.
I feel better now, after I took her suggestions last night and got some sleep. Today I've got to go to Color me Mine with a friend (inside joke...she's taking me as a "welcome home" gift. haha.), and then see my friend Carly, which should be nice. So altogether today should be calm but structured, and peaceful, I hope.
I know I haven't updated in forever...so I guess I have some to catch up on. In a nutshell: I am pretty convinced the center for Discovery in Downey, California saved my life. I haven't binged or purged since I left and I am not acting on self destructive impulses thus far into my journey home.
Things haven't been perfect. I haven't been following my meal plan, the depression is obviously there...the circumstances are the same as when I left, but I am trying to change and learn to handle them differently. I've built a wonderful new support system in NA (In treatment, they decided the Stackers abuse and other shit was more than experimentation, but addiction), with an amazing sponsor. So that is good - I have a support to go to any night I need to (a meeting) and someone to call, like last night.
I've missed y'all and hope you're well!