(no subject)
So here I am, the end of the first day of the fabulous new year (end being a relative term), and I, yes have failed to make new year's resolutions. I am, however, suitably drunk, so why not? First, I'd like to point out that family is far more tolerable when drunk, even enjoyable.
Fuck resolutions. Never believed in that shit anyway. Why save all changes until one day, slam them all together, and fail to accomplish any of them? It's absolutely ridiculous. I'd like to say, though, i do want to become a happier person...but I've been working on that for a while now, and every time I make progess, something comes by and shuts me down, kinda like a hammer hitting a nail - sudden and not always head on.
That aside, I have an issue lately - growing up - I don't know a) if I can ever do it, and b) what it means. Working everyday for a living? NO. Its more like and comeplete understanding of the magnitude to whihc the world absolutely sucks and always will. It's no fucking wonder why i want to be a marine... Let's face it - the world is a cold and lonely place, where, at best, the people who care about you are there half of the time, and ones who don't put up a really good facade.
Alright, I'm not as cranky as I sound, its just stuff that's been brewing for a little while and I really have no idea what to do about it.
On the other hand in fact, alcohol is great, and so are endorphins - so even if life sucks, that's why mankind has been addicted to drugs and other intoxicating agents since the beginning of time. oh yeah.
WHat is home? where do I want to be? I hate it here, though I don't know why, somethimes? SChool hurts. What do you do?
Fuck resolutions. Never believed in that shit anyway. Why save all changes until one day, slam them all together, and fail to accomplish any of them? It's absolutely ridiculous. I'd like to say, though, i do want to become a happier person...but I've been working on that for a while now, and every time I make progess, something comes by and shuts me down, kinda like a hammer hitting a nail - sudden and not always head on.
That aside, I have an issue lately - growing up - I don't know a) if I can ever do it, and b) what it means. Working everyday for a living? NO. Its more like and comeplete understanding of the magnitude to whihc the world absolutely sucks and always will. It's no fucking wonder why i want to be a marine... Let's face it - the world is a cold and lonely place, where, at best, the people who care about you are there half of the time, and ones who don't put up a really good facade.
Alright, I'm not as cranky as I sound, its just stuff that's been brewing for a little while and I really have no idea what to do about it.
On the other hand in fact, alcohol is great, and so are endorphins - so even if life sucks, that's why mankind has been addicted to drugs and other intoxicating agents since the beginning of time. oh yeah.
WHat is home? where do I want to be? I hate it here, though I don't know why, somethimes? SChool hurts. What do you do?