Confusion
My place in this world is no longer known to me. I can't decide what I want to be when I grow up, I don't understand half the things I pretend to. If I could wish or dream and those thoughts could become a reality would I even then be happy? Is it possible to be or do what it is you so desire? What do I want? Why? The questions that puzzle my brain at an hour like this.
I've come to a conclusion that I may be becoming cold hearted. It makes the world an easier place to move along in. Without regret or pain. I think I need to evaluate myself for some time. Stop doing what I am, and come to reason with myself. I was working today and a baby there died. When I chose to not care. To not consider the thoughts of those around me, and to just go off into my own self created reality, people were distraught with me. The gave me the impression that I myself had little emotions and would never feel the same way one who is to be considered normal feels. As time passes we all grow. It's a simple well known solution to our reality. Are we growing in the ways we want to be? What effort does it take to curb that growth? I hope that one day I will be as flexible as I say and act to be. I don't even understand these words that I'm writing. I am so convinced of myself. What a liar I have become. To the one who I would think would catch me. Myself.
I've come to a conclusion that I may be becoming cold hearted. It makes the world an easier place to move along in. Without regret or pain. I think I need to evaluate myself for some time. Stop doing what I am, and come to reason with myself. I was working today and a baby there died. When I chose to not care. To not consider the thoughts of those around me, and to just go off into my own self created reality, people were distraught with me. The gave me the impression that I myself had little emotions and would never feel the same way one who is to be considered normal feels. As time passes we all grow. It's a simple well known solution to our reality. Are we growing in the ways we want to be? What effort does it take to curb that growth? I hope that one day I will be as flexible as I say and act to be. I don't even understand these words that I'm writing. I am so convinced of myself. What a liar I have become. To the one who I would think would catch me. Myself.