Update!
The last month or so has been really enjoyeable.. I finally thought that things were coming together. I had narrowed down my search for a job, I had met someone really cool and thought things may move down towards a wonderful path of happiness. I did have to bring myself back to reality a few times and remind myself what I also need to get accomplished right now. There are a few things that I MUST get done to move on in life. There is information that I must wait for to give better direction with where life is going. I knew this but, was ignoring it. Well, tonight was the night to bring things back to reality. I had a long talk with mother, with god, and with Joe (the man I was starting to see). We have been talking for 5 months or so, but only met in person about a month ago. He lives 3 hours away (near Chicago). Money has been tight for him, so I have driven there 4 or so times over the last month and a half. I have really enjoyed my time with him. He brought up the conversation about what our relationship means. He thinks were are more than friends, but not quite boyfriends. This was last week. I wasn't quite sure how to take this, but the distance was a big factor for him to not get emotionally involved. He's also been unemployed for 2 weeks and that is tough as well.. I asked him tonight about me coming there this weekend. I had planned on it even before this past weekend opened up. He didn't respond to well and then the conversation happened. Pretty much, I figured out he doesn't think he would travel as much as I do for something; the distance is to far for him; he doesn't always like having someone pay for him; and he's not really sure if he wants in this relationship. He would like the option of meeting other people. Isn't planning on it, but wants the option right now. I've heard that before and won't touch it.. He states he want monogamy, but who knows. I bet much of this is that he doesn't want to get hurt if me moving to Chicago doesn't happen.. He's stuck where he is at and I am not..
I guess, I know what I have to get done and just can't go out on dates. I will want to get into a relationship to much.. When it's ready, it will come.. This realization really sucks, but that's life.. Ok, I am done venting.. I needed to do this before I could sleep.. Feel free to comment. But, I don't expect it. Take care all..
I guess, I know what I have to get done and just can't go out on dates. I will want to get into a relationship to much.. When it's ready, it will come.. This realization really sucks, but that's life.. Ok, I am done venting.. I needed to do this before I could sleep.. Feel free to comment. But, I don't expect it. Take care all..