ASD

[delta_mike]

This interview with Ari Ne'eman was good reading on the subject of providing support for people with Autism-spectrum conditions. For a chap of 22 years, he's surprisingly articulate, and rather good at explaining things in ways that my brain can synthesize rapidly.

In particular, I read the line, There are a lot of social rules that we don’t

Comments

[kozue]

I don't really have much faith in doctors; my mother is one, so I'm acutely aware of how little they know about anything. Especially things which cannot be seen or prodded. Ultimately what 'they' say is AS today might be seen as quaintly extreme eccentricity tomorrow or an evil invisible mind-eating cancer which people should zap on sight next week, so I prefer to judge people by their own merits and my own rules.

I suppose it annoyed/jarred/shocked me that this person (embarrassingly, I don't actually remember who it was, although I barely know anyone so have a fairly good idea) expected me to react differently to someone due to a fairly arbitrary label. I am certain that their intentions were good, and I am the kind of person who is often cast as the Evil Villain type because of the way I communicate, so they were trying to protect you based on their superficial estimation of how I Should Be Spoken To. As it happened, we had started off on a very bad foot, but once you talked to me in a normal way [online] I was able to judge the real you and found you were a decent chap after all. I find it's so much simpler just communicating directly instead of relying on labels, recommendations and sympathy as social glue :)

It's weird, because in my mental model I have married introversion to unsociable personality types, but I have met a few introverts now (including you, of course) who crave and thrive upon social interaction in spite of their natural 'build'. It must be cruel to want it and not be able to enjoy it without putting in so much extra work. In my case, I am very much happiest with my own company, so I've been trying to understand this other flavour of introvert for a long time with some difficulty. When I speak with one of my friends who is similarly caught between wanting friends and suffering being around "noisy" social situations, I find it hard to understand why he compromises so much of himself to be part of this unfairly skewed world because my own agenda is so different. It is good reinforcement to see more introverted socialisers around. Maybe I'll come to understand the perspective one day if I hear enough about how it all fits together from various people!

It's tricky for me to accept without understanding, and I'm not sensitive enough to understand unless people show their true selves, so I end up just ignoring most of humanity where possible to avoid getting caught up on masks and expectations and rituals and other nonsense. But when someone talks to me frankly and there's no mess, it's most refreshing. Have to keep that kind of person around.

Good luck with your thesis, anyway! I imagine that it will feel so good when you have it behind you (says someone who has never done anything like that in her life). Catching up sounds interesting, though I'm rather averse to real world things. Coaxing me through my more sensible other half is usually the only way to make me leave the hermit cave.

[delta_mike]

I find it hard to think of Autism as a brain-eating cancer. Rather, I see AS conditions as simply a set of.. unusual specializations, where different parts of a person's mind develop with more or less emphasis on different layers.

There isn't an 'autistic' part of me -- instead, I think of having relatively under-developed bits of the brain that deals with social awareness, abstraction of sensory inputs and introspection, while the bits that deal with spacial visualization, rational thought and sensory processing being comparatively super-developed.

(In particular, this combination results in at least one of my super-powers: the ability to sustain, under the right conditions, epic levels of concentration.)

In my head, I think of 'introversion/extroversion' as a measure of how cognitively expensive it is to project a mask/persona/fascade when interacting with other people.

(Note that when you're talking to someone you know, trust and respect, maintaining that superficial fascade is usually unnecessary -- it's generally safe to share all your thoughts, as they really are, without having to filter them to avoid sharing personal things, or unnecessarily burdening the listener.)

If you find it a lot of effort and generally difficult, you're on the 'introverted' end of the scale, where it's difficult to engage in social interactions with unfamiliar or untrusted people.

On the other hand, if you find it relatively easy, then you're towards the 'extroverted' end of the scale. Mixing with other people at a relatively superficial level is therefore something you're likely to engage in more frequently -- or, at least, cope with better.

People with AS conditions can fall in both categories; could be relatively shy and private, or can be completely outgoing and unrestrained (though not, necessarily, tactful.)

And, on a different axis again is how much social interaction matters to a person. Most people I know value interpersonal interaction to some degree, but for some it's far more important than it is for others.

Finally, there's the notion of depth-of-understanding when it comes to how people think. I certainly know that, when I was a student, my understanding of others was inferior to most my age -- and so I did tend to blunder about somewhat, though usually in a manner people took to be well-meaning, even if I was exasperating. Today, I do better, though I can still find noisy social situations highly draining if I fail to quickly find someone I can relate to easily among the crowd.

So, you've got lots of different axes. Some combinations are more likely than others -- an extroverted, Aspergic, socially-uninterested but highly socially-competent combination seems improbable, for example. (Did I just describe Dr. House?)

My natural build isn't actually too bad. Though it has been at times most extraordinarily difficult and challenging, I've been fortunate and found some really, really good people with whom I can just interact with directly; no fascades or filters required, so it has become easy to talk to them, and sate the desire for, well, companionship and conversation.

Which is good, because, certainly at the moment, cognitive resources are in short supply, what with my impending thesis deadlines, battles against the writers-block and confidence monsters, and general weariness. I'm looking forward to a fortnight from now, when I'll be in the middle of the week I'm taking off after I've submitted the thesis. :-)

I'll poke Max and solicit suggestions for a minor catching up thing. I'm loathe to pull you out of your comfort zone unwillingly, but likewise don't want to invade your sanctum without invitation. Hopefully there's a half-way house that'll satisfy. :)