Avatar Ravings: Zuko Alone.
Ok so first of all, sorry I haven't done the posts I promised to do :( I was really busy and then I wasn't and I still didn't do them. Ugh. I blame tumblr. I need to quit it.
Anyway, thoughts.
So I've been fic planning, as I always do, and one of the fics I want to write is Ty Lee's relationship with Azula from Ty Lee's POV. I want to examine everything - why she stuck with her all those years despite the abusive nature of the relationship, and why she sided with Mai eventually, even though her bond with Azula was stronger.
And in this episode we saw a little more of their relationship. Something really simple - Azula fails at cartwheeling, and when Ty Lee shows off her gymnast skills, Azula pushes her over. And I thought, this kind of punishment has been going on all through their relationship. So why did Ty Lee put up with it?
I think their friendship started when Azula took an interest. She demanded Ty Lee be her friend, and so Ty Lee had to because Azula was in a position of such power. But she didn't mind because she admired Azula so much. In my interpretation of the relationship, Ty Lee has always adored Azula. It's a kind of adoration that's based on respect, awe, genuine affection, and a little bit of fear. But most of all I think Ty Lee values their friendship because AZULA CHOSE HER. Ty Lee said she felt invisible in her big family, like she didn't even have her own identity. But then Azula comes along and picks her out of everyone else. She pays attention to her, even if it's in a bad way at times, and that is I think the root of her allure to Ty Lee.
That, and the fact that Ty Lee had to stick with Azula if she didn't want to get burned to a crisp, is why they remained friends for so many years.
Then after school Ty Lee runs off to join the circus. Obviously this was partly to find her own identity and forge a life for herself somewhat outside the restrictions of the Fire Nation. But also I think on some level she realised how damaging her relationship with Azula was. That's why as soon as she was free she ran, even if she wasn't totally aware of why. I'm definitely going to expand on this in the fic. Maybe Ty Lee realised Azula meant more to her than she did to Azula? Maybe there's potential for some girl on girl action hehehe...
Anyway. I think the key to Ty Lee's character is her easy going nature. So when Azula demands her again, even though she doesn't want to at first, as soon as it's apparent that to deny Azula would be more dangerous, potentially fatal, hassle, to both her and her new friends, she naturally goes back. It's a combination of the carrot and the stick really: Ty Lee has motivation to go with her, because of her feelings for Azula, and her trepidation about returning to that abusive relationship is outweighed by her concern for herself and her friends if she doesn't.
I'm just rambling here, trying to work out ideas. I have a plan of how I'm going to solve the why-did-she-side-with-Mai question, but you'll have to read that in the fic :P
Another thing I was thinking over in this episode was Azula and her mother and how that relationship affected her. The way I see it is this. Azula's natural instincts are somewhat... twisted... or sadistic, for want of better words (I hate the term evil). She enjoys causing others pain, always works to her advantage, etc etc. Her mother is on some level horrified by this. She tries to hide this, but it's obvious to everyone that Zuko is her favourite. For Azula to see this is devastating: she does all she can to make her mother proud, she acts the way she was brought up to (remember she would have been expected to be sadistic by her father and grandfather, and she grew up in an environment that showed her that acting that way would reward her), but still nothing pleases her mother. I know her mother acts nice, but children can tell when their parents have an aversion to them.
This causes so much confusion in Azula. She's getting a lot of conflicting pressures on her to act different ways, and of course she goes with the behaviour that comes naturally to her. She obviously practices a lot at firebending, and there's that scene when she shows off to Firelord Azulan. I found that scene so telling. Azula does her best, and she's amazing, and she gets praise from her father. But maybe what she really wanted was her mother's praise, her mother's love. And when Zuko fails, their mother rushes over to him at once, giving him that love Azula craves.
So she starts to hate her mother for demanding her to be someone she's not, for thinking she's a monster. And so she becomes one, maybe in part to spite her mother.
Argh I'm trying to remember Azula's breakdown at the end of S3, because there are some GREAT mother scenes in that. But I can't remember it properly and I don't want to skip ahead in my rewatch so I'll have to leave it there for now. I know at one point her mother says something about always loving Azula, which isn't what Azula wants to hear. Maybe the idea that her mother hated her drove her on all those years. It was this silent, repressed rage that motivated her. It's what she built her identity on. And if her mother did love her then what? Was that despite her natural characteristics or because of them? Was it just a mother's unconditional love, and if so what does that mean? Thinking about all this is making ME pretty emotional and confused on Azula's behalf, so I can't imagine what it did to her. Ok, I can imagine but you get my point.
You know, I got these kind of mixed signals from my mother. My natural characteristics were constantly repressed. I was always told not to act the way my instincts told me to, to be someone else. Literally, my mother told me to change ALL THE WAY THROUGH MY LIFE. And while I understand why she did that - I drove away friends and was generally a misery to everyone - that has still screwed me up no end. I hate who I used to be because I'm naturally a person not worth friends, who does everything wrong. And I still have low self esteem, though I like the person I've become. ugh, fuck, I'm tearing up, so I'll stop now. But you see what I mean. In comparison to what Azula had to deal with, my problems are mild, yet they still cause me distress and psychological problems.
Anyway I'm actually still watching the episode so I better get back to that. Expect lots of lovely analysations (wtf is that even a word?) now, because that's what rewatch means in my world!!! :D Also remind me to post my HS and Avatar icons, cos I've made lots of them. And also I want to post links to videos and music you guys will love so don't let me forget that! :D
~Lili
Anyway, thoughts.
So I've been fic planning, as I always do, and one of the fics I want to write is Ty Lee's relationship with Azula from Ty Lee's POV. I want to examine everything - why she stuck with her all those years despite the abusive nature of the relationship, and why she sided with Mai eventually, even though her bond with Azula was stronger.
And in this episode we saw a little more of their relationship. Something really simple - Azula fails at cartwheeling, and when Ty Lee shows off her gymnast skills, Azula pushes her over. And I thought, this kind of punishment has been going on all through their relationship. So why did Ty Lee put up with it?
I think their friendship started when Azula took an interest. She demanded Ty Lee be her friend, and so Ty Lee had to because Azula was in a position of such power. But she didn't mind because she admired Azula so much. In my interpretation of the relationship, Ty Lee has always adored Azula. It's a kind of adoration that's based on respect, awe, genuine affection, and a little bit of fear. But most of all I think Ty Lee values their friendship because AZULA CHOSE HER. Ty Lee said she felt invisible in her big family, like she didn't even have her own identity. But then Azula comes along and picks her out of everyone else. She pays attention to her, even if it's in a bad way at times, and that is I think the root of her allure to Ty Lee.
That, and the fact that Ty Lee had to stick with Azula if she didn't want to get burned to a crisp, is why they remained friends for so many years.
Then after school Ty Lee runs off to join the circus. Obviously this was partly to find her own identity and forge a life for herself somewhat outside the restrictions of the Fire Nation. But also I think on some level she realised how damaging her relationship with Azula was. That's why as soon as she was free she ran, even if she wasn't totally aware of why. I'm definitely going to expand on this in the fic. Maybe Ty Lee realised Azula meant more to her than she did to Azula? Maybe there's potential for some girl on girl action hehehe...
Anyway. I think the key to Ty Lee's character is her easy going nature. So when Azula demands her again, even though she doesn't want to at first, as soon as it's apparent that to deny Azula would be more dangerous, potentially fatal, hassle, to both her and her new friends, she naturally goes back. It's a combination of the carrot and the stick really: Ty Lee has motivation to go with her, because of her feelings for Azula, and her trepidation about returning to that abusive relationship is outweighed by her concern for herself and her friends if she doesn't.
I'm just rambling here, trying to work out ideas. I have a plan of how I'm going to solve the why-did-she-side-with-Mai question, but you'll have to read that in the fic :P
Another thing I was thinking over in this episode was Azula and her mother and how that relationship affected her. The way I see it is this. Azula's natural instincts are somewhat... twisted... or sadistic, for want of better words (I hate the term evil). She enjoys causing others pain, always works to her advantage, etc etc. Her mother is on some level horrified by this. She tries to hide this, but it's obvious to everyone that Zuko is her favourite. For Azula to see this is devastating: she does all she can to make her mother proud, she acts the way she was brought up to (remember she would have been expected to be sadistic by her father and grandfather, and she grew up in an environment that showed her that acting that way would reward her), but still nothing pleases her mother. I know her mother acts nice, but children can tell when their parents have an aversion to them.
This causes so much confusion in Azula. She's getting a lot of conflicting pressures on her to act different ways, and of course she goes with the behaviour that comes naturally to her. She obviously practices a lot at firebending, and there's that scene when she shows off to Firelord Azulan. I found that scene so telling. Azula does her best, and she's amazing, and she gets praise from her father. But maybe what she really wanted was her mother's praise, her mother's love. And when Zuko fails, their mother rushes over to him at once, giving him that love Azula craves.
So she starts to hate her mother for demanding her to be someone she's not, for thinking she's a monster. And so she becomes one, maybe in part to spite her mother.
Argh I'm trying to remember Azula's breakdown at the end of S3, because there are some GREAT mother scenes in that. But I can't remember it properly and I don't want to skip ahead in my rewatch so I'll have to leave it there for now. I know at one point her mother says something about always loving Azula, which isn't what Azula wants to hear. Maybe the idea that her mother hated her drove her on all those years. It was this silent, repressed rage that motivated her. It's what she built her identity on. And if her mother did love her then what? Was that despite her natural characteristics or because of them? Was it just a mother's unconditional love, and if so what does that mean? Thinking about all this is making ME pretty emotional and confused on Azula's behalf, so I can't imagine what it did to her. Ok, I can imagine but you get my point.
You know, I got these kind of mixed signals from my mother. My natural characteristics were constantly repressed. I was always told not to act the way my instincts told me to, to be someone else. Literally, my mother told me to change ALL THE WAY THROUGH MY LIFE. And while I understand why she did that - I drove away friends and was generally a misery to everyone - that has still screwed me up no end. I hate who I used to be because I'm naturally a person not worth friends, who does everything wrong. And I still have low self esteem, though I like the person I've become. ugh, fuck, I'm tearing up, so I'll stop now. But you see what I mean. In comparison to what Azula had to deal with, my problems are mild, yet they still cause me distress and psychological problems.
Anyway I'm actually still watching the episode so I better get back to that. Expect lots of lovely analysations (wtf is that even a word?) now, because that's what rewatch means in my world!!! :D Also remind me to post my HS and Avatar icons, cos I've made lots of them. And also I want to post links to videos and music you guys will love so don't let me forget that! :D
~Lili