The Power of Pain: a Willow meta.
Hi guys! So I was feeling pretty low thanks to mah troubles, and decided to watch Something Blue from BtVS S4 (skipping ahead a little in my rewatch, I know, but I just could not handle Oz-leaving trauma atm). And something occured to me. All of Willow's advances in magic have been fuelled by pain or vengeance. This is really the root of her power. In my fic Child of Vengeance (posted in full here) I imply that Willow got most of her power from Jenny's vengeance magic, amplified by D'Hoffryn. This is my canon, but even without this plot point the whole Willow's magic = pain thing really works.
So I'm gonna do a mini-meta for ya! Cos that's just how much I want to avoid my packing. Anyway. I'mma break all her magical advancements down and see if we can spot patterns. Feel free to tear this apart in the comments of course! Anyway, on to the meta.
The Power of Pain:
A Willow Meta
Ok, so the first time Willow really tries magic is of course in Becoming in season 2. She had been dabbling beforehand, but hadn't really succeeded in anything. Personally, I like to think she was motivated by frustration with her life and not being noticed to start looking into magic, which fits into the magic=pain thing. Because if you really examine Willow, she represses a whole lot of rage and frustration, which is evident even before her meltdowns in season 6. She's been bullied and ignored for years, not to mention sexually frustrated. Then along comes Buffy, all blonde-haired perfection, and introduces Willow to a whole new world where... she's still ignored. I mean forget Xander or Jonathon, Willow was the first victim in the show (ignoring one-shot characters that no-one remembers). And throughout seasons 1 and 2 she's ignored or treated like a child. It's no wonder she turned to the forbidden section of the library, desperate for a chance to prove herself and maybe, subconciously, seeking vengeance on those that belittled her.
So back to Becoming. Jenny now dead, Willow is convinced she can carry out Jenny's legacy - the spell to restore Angel's soul. "Wait", I hear you cry, "but this is a good spell! A spell of love and healing!". And on the surface it can seem that way. Restoring Angel's soul is the only way to stop Angelus and save the world. But let's not forget the origin of the spell, which was pure vengeance. Also, Jenny made no effort to alter the spell to allow Angel to experience happiness (whether this is deliberate or simply because she didn't have time we never know, but I like to think that she didn't even consider changing it because, despite her relationship with him, she was brought up to believe that vengeance was right). Which means that the spell is all vengeance. And consider what it does to Angel - having a soul for 100 years in a hell dimension? That can't be good. Anyway, so we've established that this isn't a good spell, but one born of pain and revenge.
This is really the starting point for Willow. She manages to tap into some kind of ancient power during the spell: after visibly struggling with the magic Willow's head snaps back and suddenly she begins chanting Latin, completing the spell on her own. This is never explained, which is why I like to think this is when Jenny intervened, giving her the power to complete the spell. But enough about my canon. After this brush with power, Willow becomes obsessed, practicing spells all summer. Even this early on Giles expresses concern about her fascination with magic, but it's very subtle. In any case, aside from little spells Willow's power goes into a sort of recession. She doesn't attempt anything as powerful as the spell to restore Angel's soul again until her will-be-done spell in Something Blue.
But let's not forget the next time Willow's magic is used as a plot device. I am talking of course of her involvement in the season 3 episode Dopplegangland. Again she is frustrated with being ignored, patronised and not respected. Just as it drove her to investigate magic in the first place, Willow's repressed anger with her treatment drives her to do a potentially dangerous spell with Anya. In a tradition that continues through the series, the spell goes wrong, and instead of the necklace Willow instead manages to transport an alternate version of herself across dimensions. We shouldn't ignore how powerful this is. Perhaps the reason for this surge in power is Willow's repressed anger finding a route out through her magic. And maybe I'm looking into it too much, but what if she subconciously transported the evil version of herself as a type of vengeance? After all, their encounters with Vamp!Willow do make Willow's friends appreciate and respect her more. Is it so much of a jump to think that Willow willed this to happen? She could have brought anyone through from the parallel dimension, but an evil version of herself comes through, an omninous foreshadowing of Willow's magical potential later on in the series.
On to Something Blue, which I believe to be the next step in Willow's magical development since Becoming (because although powerful, the spell in Dopplegangland was supposed to be a pretty easy one). For the first time since season 2, Willow attempts something powerful, but this time for herself. It's obvious she's fuelled by pain and grief this time. Oz has just left and she's been sinking into a depression that's overlooked by her friends. The vengeance angle is also obvious, thanks to her encounter with D'Hoffryn. We can really start to see a pattern here. So far, Willow's magical developments have come from pain-filled motivations. And her spells are most successful when her anger fuels them. D'Hoffryn recognises this saying "your magic is strong but your pain... it's like a scream that pierces dimensional walls". Already it's recognised that while she's strong magically, it's her pain that really sets her apart, that carries the real power.
But here's where Willow's magical development skews away from the pain path somewhat, which no-one can deny is thanks to Tara. With Tara's guidance and grounding, Willow becomes a stronger and stronger witch. Magic becomes more than a conduit for pain: with Tara spells are safe, soothing, even sexual. We can see Tara's calming influence when Oz comes back: whereas at one stage this confusion and emotional turmoil would have sent Willow into a downward spiral culminating in some kind of magical mishap, now, thanks to her love for Tara, Willow deals with the situation sans-magic, making her decision with minimal heartache. This Tara+magic=good formula continues into season 5 until Glory's attack in Tough Love.
It has to be said that in this time, again, Willow attempts no truly world-bendingly powerful spells. But as soon as Tara is suffering Willow pulls out all the stops and goes to attack Glory, giving us another hint of Dark Willow later on. Suddenly, fuelled by vengeance, Willow is using magicks far more powerful than anything we've seen before. Whereas in earlier seasons she's struggled to control anything telekinetically, now she shoots knives at Glory simply using her mind. Where Buffy has failed, Willow manages to hurt Glory, although she is inevitably defeated. Willow's power continues to reveal itself through the ending arc of season 5 as she protects them all from attack with a forcefield and even enters Buffy's mind. All this is done despite (or maybe fuelled by) her grief about Tara's condition, and Willow successfully navigates the storm of grief, depression, apathy and rage that the finale of season 5 is fraught with. Perhaps this is because she has become more grounded as a person, perhaps she is concentrating on her goal of healing Tara, perhaps all of this negative emotion is actually fuelling her magic. All hypothetical of course, but I like to believe the latter is true.
Anyway. I'm not even going to bother to join the dots between pain and magic for Willow's arc in season 6. We all know how it goes. Motivated by grief, Willow brings Buffy back. Motivated by frustration and intoxicated by power, Willow uses magic more. Motivated by anger, Willow erases Tara's memory. Motivated by grief, she goes off the rails. Motivated by vengeance she becomes Dark Willow. By this point the link between Willow's pain, frustration, anger and the exponential power of her magic should be obvious.
And yet it is barely addressed in the show. They completely ignore the linking factor, the common denominator EVERY TIME Willow's magic has gone wrong. Instead, in season 7, there's this feeling that magic is all bad. Oh wait, now it's ok, but not for Willow. Oh now it's only ok if it's helpful but she has to be careful. Basically, the writers totally fail to deal with the aftermath of Willow's actions in season 6, and her motivation for magic during the entire show. Which is really really shortsighted of them because hello, fangirl here, and I get the link. If they were going to use the spell in Chosen as Willow's redemption, which could have worked, they should have built up to it by, oh I don't know, maybe addressing Willow's problems with magic properly?!
Well, season 7 writing problems aside, the only time Willow attempts a spell of great power that isn't motivated by pain or vengeance, but rather hope and a desire to save the world (whatever your personal views of the spell you can't deny that it was done with good intentions), is in Chosen. Using the scythe she gives power to thousands of women worldwide, a spell that obviously makes her high (a little iffy given the season 6 arc). In any case, Willow is finally redeemed. She managed to tap into her power without pain.
So I guess my conclusion is this: Willow's magic comes from her pain, her repressed rage, her frustration. This is evident throughout the series and comes to a boiling point in season 6 where she tries to end the world. We musn't forget that she didn't just try and end the world because she was a villian, but rather to save it from the pain she felt eminating from millions. In my canon, Willow's vengeance powers (given to her by Jenny) finally burn out in season 6, leaving her with only the basic talent for magic she had, and the powers bequethed her by the English coven (via Giles). This is another potential reason for Willow's break with pain=magic in season 7 but alas, my canon is not show canon. Unfortunately this meta is somewhat without a conclusion, as season 7 totally failed to address or deal with Willow's problem with magic. I guess that the spell in Chosen not only redeemed Willow's past actions (which in itself is a little shakey, given that she's forcing power on women without their consent), but also ends Willow's use of her pain for power. Instead of using pain as a conduit to tap into her inner strength, Willow breaks out of this tradition, finally using her magical powers motivated by good intentions and hope. Pain's power over Willow is finally broken.
So I'm gonna do a mini-meta for ya! Cos that's just how much I want to avoid my packing. Anyway. I'mma break all her magical advancements down and see if we can spot patterns. Feel free to tear this apart in the comments of course! Anyway, on to the meta.
The Power of Pain:
A Willow Meta
Ok, so the first time Willow really tries magic is of course in Becoming in season 2. She had been dabbling beforehand, but hadn't really succeeded in anything. Personally, I like to think she was motivated by frustration with her life and not being noticed to start looking into magic, which fits into the magic=pain thing. Because if you really examine Willow, she represses a whole lot of rage and frustration, which is evident even before her meltdowns in season 6. She's been bullied and ignored for years, not to mention sexually frustrated. Then along comes Buffy, all blonde-haired perfection, and introduces Willow to a whole new world where... she's still ignored. I mean forget Xander or Jonathon, Willow was the first victim in the show (ignoring one-shot characters that no-one remembers). And throughout seasons 1 and 2 she's ignored or treated like a child. It's no wonder she turned to the forbidden section of the library, desperate for a chance to prove herself and maybe, subconciously, seeking vengeance on those that belittled her.
So back to Becoming. Jenny now dead, Willow is convinced she can carry out Jenny's legacy - the spell to restore Angel's soul. "Wait", I hear you cry, "but this is a good spell! A spell of love and healing!". And on the surface it can seem that way. Restoring Angel's soul is the only way to stop Angelus and save the world. But let's not forget the origin of the spell, which was pure vengeance. Also, Jenny made no effort to alter the spell to allow Angel to experience happiness (whether this is deliberate or simply because she didn't have time we never know, but I like to think that she didn't even consider changing it because, despite her relationship with him, she was brought up to believe that vengeance was right). Which means that the spell is all vengeance. And consider what it does to Angel - having a soul for 100 years in a hell dimension? That can't be good. Anyway, so we've established that this isn't a good spell, but one born of pain and revenge.
This is really the starting point for Willow. She manages to tap into some kind of ancient power during the spell: after visibly struggling with the magic Willow's head snaps back and suddenly she begins chanting Latin, completing the spell on her own. This is never explained, which is why I like to think this is when Jenny intervened, giving her the power to complete the spell. But enough about my canon. After this brush with power, Willow becomes obsessed, practicing spells all summer. Even this early on Giles expresses concern about her fascination with magic, but it's very subtle. In any case, aside from little spells Willow's power goes into a sort of recession. She doesn't attempt anything as powerful as the spell to restore Angel's soul again until her will-be-done spell in Something Blue.
But let's not forget the next time Willow's magic is used as a plot device. I am talking of course of her involvement in the season 3 episode Dopplegangland. Again she is frustrated with being ignored, patronised and not respected. Just as it drove her to investigate magic in the first place, Willow's repressed anger with her treatment drives her to do a potentially dangerous spell with Anya. In a tradition that continues through the series, the spell goes wrong, and instead of the necklace Willow instead manages to transport an alternate version of herself across dimensions. We shouldn't ignore how powerful this is. Perhaps the reason for this surge in power is Willow's repressed anger finding a route out through her magic. And maybe I'm looking into it too much, but what if she subconciously transported the evil version of herself as a type of vengeance? After all, their encounters with Vamp!Willow do make Willow's friends appreciate and respect her more. Is it so much of a jump to think that Willow willed this to happen? She could have brought anyone through from the parallel dimension, but an evil version of herself comes through, an omninous foreshadowing of Willow's magical potential later on in the series.
On to Something Blue, which I believe to be the next step in Willow's magical development since Becoming (because although powerful, the spell in Dopplegangland was supposed to be a pretty easy one). For the first time since season 2, Willow attempts something powerful, but this time for herself. It's obvious she's fuelled by pain and grief this time. Oz has just left and she's been sinking into a depression that's overlooked by her friends. The vengeance angle is also obvious, thanks to her encounter with D'Hoffryn. We can really start to see a pattern here. So far, Willow's magical developments have come from pain-filled motivations. And her spells are most successful when her anger fuels them. D'Hoffryn recognises this saying "your magic is strong but your pain... it's like a scream that pierces dimensional walls". Already it's recognised that while she's strong magically, it's her pain that really sets her apart, that carries the real power.
But here's where Willow's magical development skews away from the pain path somewhat, which no-one can deny is thanks to Tara. With Tara's guidance and grounding, Willow becomes a stronger and stronger witch. Magic becomes more than a conduit for pain: with Tara spells are safe, soothing, even sexual. We can see Tara's calming influence when Oz comes back: whereas at one stage this confusion and emotional turmoil would have sent Willow into a downward spiral culminating in some kind of magical mishap, now, thanks to her love for Tara, Willow deals with the situation sans-magic, making her decision with minimal heartache. This Tara+magic=good formula continues into season 5 until Glory's attack in Tough Love.
It has to be said that in this time, again, Willow attempts no truly world-bendingly powerful spells. But as soon as Tara is suffering Willow pulls out all the stops and goes to attack Glory, giving us another hint of Dark Willow later on. Suddenly, fuelled by vengeance, Willow is using magicks far more powerful than anything we've seen before. Whereas in earlier seasons she's struggled to control anything telekinetically, now she shoots knives at Glory simply using her mind. Where Buffy has failed, Willow manages to hurt Glory, although she is inevitably defeated. Willow's power continues to reveal itself through the ending arc of season 5 as she protects them all from attack with a forcefield and even enters Buffy's mind. All this is done despite (or maybe fuelled by) her grief about Tara's condition, and Willow successfully navigates the storm of grief, depression, apathy and rage that the finale of season 5 is fraught with. Perhaps this is because she has become more grounded as a person, perhaps she is concentrating on her goal of healing Tara, perhaps all of this negative emotion is actually fuelling her magic. All hypothetical of course, but I like to believe the latter is true.
Anyway. I'm not even going to bother to join the dots between pain and magic for Willow's arc in season 6. We all know how it goes. Motivated by grief, Willow brings Buffy back. Motivated by frustration and intoxicated by power, Willow uses magic more. Motivated by anger, Willow erases Tara's memory. Motivated by grief, she goes off the rails. Motivated by vengeance she becomes Dark Willow. By this point the link between Willow's pain, frustration, anger and the exponential power of her magic should be obvious.
And yet it is barely addressed in the show. They completely ignore the linking factor, the common denominator EVERY TIME Willow's magic has gone wrong. Instead, in season 7, there's this feeling that magic is all bad. Oh wait, now it's ok, but not for Willow. Oh now it's only ok if it's helpful but she has to be careful. Basically, the writers totally fail to deal with the aftermath of Willow's actions in season 6, and her motivation for magic during the entire show. Which is really really shortsighted of them because hello, fangirl here, and I get the link. If they were going to use the spell in Chosen as Willow's redemption, which could have worked, they should have built up to it by, oh I don't know, maybe addressing Willow's problems with magic properly?!
Well, season 7 writing problems aside, the only time Willow attempts a spell of great power that isn't motivated by pain or vengeance, but rather hope and a desire to save the world (whatever your personal views of the spell you can't deny that it was done with good intentions), is in Chosen. Using the scythe she gives power to thousands of women worldwide, a spell that obviously makes her high (a little iffy given the season 6 arc). In any case, Willow is finally redeemed. She managed to tap into her power without pain.
So I guess my conclusion is this: Willow's magic comes from her pain, her repressed rage, her frustration. This is evident throughout the series and comes to a boiling point in season 6 where she tries to end the world. We musn't forget that she didn't just try and end the world because she was a villian, but rather to save it from the pain she felt eminating from millions. In my canon, Willow's vengeance powers (given to her by Jenny) finally burn out in season 6, leaving her with only the basic talent for magic she had, and the powers bequethed her by the English coven (via Giles). This is another potential reason for Willow's break with pain=magic in season 7 but alas, my canon is not show canon. Unfortunately this meta is somewhat without a conclusion, as season 7 totally failed to address or deal with Willow's problem with magic. I guess that the spell in Chosen not only redeemed Willow's past actions (which in itself is a little shakey, given that she's forcing power on women without their consent), but also ends Willow's use of her pain for power. Instead of using pain as a conduit to tap into her inner strength, Willow breaks out of this tradition, finally using her magical powers motivated by good intentions and hope. Pain's power over Willow is finally broken.