South Park Fic: It's Called College
Hooray! So this is finally being written. Ok, so things you need to know: Wendy is a Slayer. And that's all the Buffy crossover you get (though I might slip in some funny references later on if I can think of any!). Also you need to be at least mid way through season 14 of South Park to know about Mysterion, but any other SP info isn't vital - there are references to other episodes later on but trust me, that's weeks of writing away :P
ALSO
Even if you don't like South Park or South Park fics, please try it! You may very well be surprised. I'm really pleased with this plot and I hope you will be too. The first chapter kinda sucks a little, but that's only because I wrote it while staying the night in the uni nightclub (queuing for Ball tickets, if any of you remember) so don't judge too harshly, please!
Title: It's Called College (taken from my favourite quote from my favourite episode: "Kids, what have I told you about drugs?" "There's a time and place for everything and it's called college". It's pretty much what I live by and it's on my wall :P But I digress.)
Fandom: South Park (and a little bit of BtVS)
Characters/Pairings: Wendy/Stan, Wendy/Kenny, Kenny/Kyle, Bebe, Professor Chaos and Margarine, Cartman, Kelly (from season 2), Scott Tenorman.
Summary: college is a bitch. Wendy has to deal with vamps, demons and Cartman and still get to classes on time. Not to mention Mysterion stalking her on patrol. All this really makes it hard to maintain her relationship with Stan. But when Professor Chaos unleashes hell on the town, Wendy must make unsure alliances and discovers that her affections are far from where she expected them to be...
Style: told from Wendy, Kenny, Stan, Kyle, Bebe and Margarine's point of view, but the narration focusses on Wendy and Kenny.
Link:
It’s Called College
- Wendy -
So yeah. Today’s the first day of patrolling. I allowed myself a day to get used to the college - I figured the vamps could wait a day to be staked. But today I couldn’t really put it off any longer. Sometimes I hate my job. But someone’s gotta do it, I guess.
So anyway, patrolling. I did the campus first - no action there. Saw Stan though, which was awkward. Had to lie and say I had late studying to do. I really don’t know how long I can keep this up - lying to Stan. High School was hard enough. Every time I felt close to telling him he’d say how nice it was to be normal for a change or something like that. I guess growing up with weird shit happening every week made him long for a quiet life. In any case, I didn’t want to ruin it. And now it’s 3 years since I became a Slayer and Stan still has no idea. It kills me to lie to him but what can I do? He’d totally freak out on me if I told him.
Ugh. Never mind. Patrolling.
So I checked out the town after that. On a hunch I went down to the industrial district and sure I enough, I hear screams coming from one of the warehouses. Showtime. The doors are locked so I check out the terrain. The building is pretty high but it has a flat roof... perfect. I leap in to get in through the skylights. Making sure to tread carefully (you have no idea how many times I’ve fallen through shoddy roof work when trying to rescue people) I sneak over to the window. I’m just about to smash the glass when guess what?
Fucking Mysterion is what.
So I’m looking into the room and there are four, maybe five vamps gathered around a kid, doing some kind of ritual. You know, the usual. And I’m just about to leap in to save the day when Mysterion shoots his way through the door (typical - that kid has a serious hard-on for his gun, I swear) and starts fighting. Of course I’m furious and of course he losing (please, five vamps vs one kid with no super powers? No prizes guessing who’ll go home with warm fuzzies) so I go ahead and jump through the skylight.
“Mysterion!” I yell as the glass shatters onto the floor and I plunge into the fray. “These are vampires. My kill, remember? You stick to the freaks and druggies. I know you feel right at home with them.” The vamp bitch I’m beating on senses my distraction and takes this opportunity to slam me into the wall. Grinning like a fucking loon he leers into my neck, perfectly positioned for me to knee him in the groin and shove my elbow into his nose. Hey, sometimes the oldies are the best. I soon win my fight, and brush the vamp dust off my clothes. That stuff’s a bitch to get out. Seeing Mysterion’s struggling with his opponent I easily pull her off him and stake her too.
“What can I say?” he grins, “slow night!”
“Fuck you, Kenny.”
“Mysterion!”
“Whatever.”
By this point the vamps are dust and the kid’s crying and thanking us. We cut him down then I round on Kenny.
“Dude, you have to stick to your game. I’m a Vampire Slayer. Doesn’t really work if someone’s staking the vamps outta the equation. Plus I can’t keep looking out for you. You keep taking on monsters stronger than you and you’re gonna get dead.”
He gives me this strange smile and goes “not a problem”.
“Whatever.” I carry the kid out of the building. “Death wish aside, I see you taking on vamps again, I’m gonna stake you.”
He just laughs, which is infuriating. Honestly, this guy is so up himself. He’s still playing superhero at 19 for fuck’s sake. Bad enough he scraped his way into my college on a scholarship (I’m still betting he cheated - no way did he get higher test scores than me). But no, that’s not enough - he has to stalk me on patrol too.
So after that lovely little encounter, Mysterion takes the kid home and I do one quick round of the cemeteries, then it’s back to my dorm. Hey, I have an early lecture tomorrow, ok? We can’t all be perky perfect Slayers.
I sneak into my room, pushing the door just-so so it doesn’t squeak but it doesn’t matter because Bebe’s up anyway. I shoot her a look as I dump my stuff on my bed. She’s fucking around with magic as usual. Damn stuff stinks the room out, but does that make her stop? Of course not.
“How’d it go?”
I growl and sit down heavily. “Mysterion.”
“Ah.” Bebe’s got a smirk on her face I don’t like the look of.
“Yeah.”
“Hey, he’s not so bad. Remember when he ran that crack crew outta town?”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, but not without pinching half their store as ‘evidence’.”
Bebe just chuckles. “Still, you can’t deny he’s really got that bad-boy thing going for him. Some girls find that quite a turn on...”
“Well not me,” I snap. “Even if Stan and I weren’t together I still would rather eat live eels than be ‘turned on’ by Kenny.” I shudder.
“Ok, ok...” But she grins and shoots me a glance. I glare and she shuts up. For now. She packs up her charms and herbs so I can sleep,
which is good of her. I’ve got two hours of psych and a journalism seminar tomorrow. Which is gonna be fun on 5 hours’ sleep. Ah well.
But even as I drift off I can’t seem to get Kenny’s stupid grin out of my head...
---
To be continued! Tomorrow, probably. Right, I'm off to watch Chuck and lust over Zachary Levi bed. If you know anyone who might like the fic feel free to give them a link to either here or where it's posted on FanFiction.net here.
~Lili
ALSO
Even if you don't like South Park or South Park fics, please try it! You may very well be surprised. I'm really pleased with this plot and I hope you will be too. The first chapter kinda sucks a little, but that's only because I wrote it while staying the night in the uni nightclub (queuing for Ball tickets, if any of you remember) so don't judge too harshly, please!
Title: It's Called College (taken from my favourite quote from my favourite episode: "Kids, what have I told you about drugs?" "There's a time and place for everything and it's called college". It's pretty much what I live by and it's on my wall :P But I digress.)
Fandom: South Park (and a little bit of BtVS)
Characters/Pairings: Wendy/Stan, Wendy/Kenny, Kenny/Kyle, Bebe, Professor Chaos and Margarine, Cartman, Kelly (from season 2), Scott Tenorman.
Summary: college is a bitch. Wendy has to deal with vamps, demons and Cartman and still get to classes on time. Not to mention Mysterion stalking her on patrol. All this really makes it hard to maintain her relationship with Stan. But when Professor Chaos unleashes hell on the town, Wendy must make unsure alliances and discovers that her affections are far from where she expected them to be...
Style: told from Wendy, Kenny, Stan, Kyle, Bebe and Margarine's point of view, but the narration focusses on Wendy and Kenny.
Link:
It’s Called College
- Wendy -
So yeah. Today’s the first day of patrolling. I allowed myself a day to get used to the college - I figured the vamps could wait a day to be staked. But today I couldn’t really put it off any longer. Sometimes I hate my job. But someone’s gotta do it, I guess.
So anyway, patrolling. I did the campus first - no action there. Saw Stan though, which was awkward. Had to lie and say I had late studying to do. I really don’t know how long I can keep this up - lying to Stan. High School was hard enough. Every time I felt close to telling him he’d say how nice it was to be normal for a change or something like that. I guess growing up with weird shit happening every week made him long for a quiet life. In any case, I didn’t want to ruin it. And now it’s 3 years since I became a Slayer and Stan still has no idea. It kills me to lie to him but what can I do? He’d totally freak out on me if I told him.
Ugh. Never mind. Patrolling.
So I checked out the town after that. On a hunch I went down to the industrial district and sure I enough, I hear screams coming from one of the warehouses. Showtime. The doors are locked so I check out the terrain. The building is pretty high but it has a flat roof... perfect. I leap in to get in through the skylights. Making sure to tread carefully (you have no idea how many times I’ve fallen through shoddy roof work when trying to rescue people) I sneak over to the window. I’m just about to smash the glass when guess what?
Fucking Mysterion is what.
So I’m looking into the room and there are four, maybe five vamps gathered around a kid, doing some kind of ritual. You know, the usual. And I’m just about to leap in to save the day when Mysterion shoots his way through the door (typical - that kid has a serious hard-on for his gun, I swear) and starts fighting. Of course I’m furious and of course he losing (please, five vamps vs one kid with no super powers? No prizes guessing who’ll go home with warm fuzzies) so I go ahead and jump through the skylight.
“Mysterion!” I yell as the glass shatters onto the floor and I plunge into the fray. “These are vampires. My kill, remember? You stick to the freaks and druggies. I know you feel right at home with them.” The vamp bitch I’m beating on senses my distraction and takes this opportunity to slam me into the wall. Grinning like a fucking loon he leers into my neck, perfectly positioned for me to knee him in the groin and shove my elbow into his nose. Hey, sometimes the oldies are the best. I soon win my fight, and brush the vamp dust off my clothes. That stuff’s a bitch to get out. Seeing Mysterion’s struggling with his opponent I easily pull her off him and stake her too.
“What can I say?” he grins, “slow night!”
“Fuck you, Kenny.”
“Mysterion!”
“Whatever.”
By this point the vamps are dust and the kid’s crying and thanking us. We cut him down then I round on Kenny.
“Dude, you have to stick to your game. I’m a Vampire Slayer. Doesn’t really work if someone’s staking the vamps outta the equation. Plus I can’t keep looking out for you. You keep taking on monsters stronger than you and you’re gonna get dead.”
He gives me this strange smile and goes “not a problem”.
“Whatever.” I carry the kid out of the building. “Death wish aside, I see you taking on vamps again, I’m gonna stake you.”
He just laughs, which is infuriating. Honestly, this guy is so up himself. He’s still playing superhero at 19 for fuck’s sake. Bad enough he scraped his way into my college on a scholarship (I’m still betting he cheated - no way did he get higher test scores than me). But no, that’s not enough - he has to stalk me on patrol too.
So after that lovely little encounter, Mysterion takes the kid home and I do one quick round of the cemeteries, then it’s back to my dorm. Hey, I have an early lecture tomorrow, ok? We can’t all be perky perfect Slayers.
I sneak into my room, pushing the door just-so so it doesn’t squeak but it doesn’t matter because Bebe’s up anyway. I shoot her a look as I dump my stuff on my bed. She’s fucking around with magic as usual. Damn stuff stinks the room out, but does that make her stop? Of course not.
“How’d it go?”
I growl and sit down heavily. “Mysterion.”
“Ah.” Bebe’s got a smirk on her face I don’t like the look of.
“Yeah.”
“Hey, he’s not so bad. Remember when he ran that crack crew outta town?”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, but not without pinching half their store as ‘evidence’.”
Bebe just chuckles. “Still, you can’t deny he’s really got that bad-boy thing going for him. Some girls find that quite a turn on...”
“Well not me,” I snap. “Even if Stan and I weren’t together I still would rather eat live eels than be ‘turned on’ by Kenny.” I shudder.
“Ok, ok...” But she grins and shoots me a glance. I glare and she shuts up. For now. She packs up her charms and herbs so I can sleep,
which is good of her. I’ve got two hours of psych and a journalism seminar tomorrow. Which is gonna be fun on 5 hours’ sleep. Ah well.
But even as I drift off I can’t seem to get Kenny’s stupid grin out of my head...
---
To be continued! Tomorrow, probably. Right, I'm off to watch Chuck and lust over Zachary Levi bed. If you know anyone who might like the fic feel free to give them a link to either here or where it's posted on FanFiction.net here.
~Lili