Random text message jokes
Thanks Rush: "These Clintons are like cockroaches. They'll be the last thing left after a nuclear blast." -Rush Limbaugh
So Hilary decides to shave her pubes. The night after the primaries, she's out with a couple of campaign contributors, has a few drinks and gets up to make a speech.
Towards the end of this she pulls up her skirt and says "Read my lips, no more Bush!"
Do you know why sex-ed and driver's-ed are not taught on the same day in Mexico? It wears the donkey out!
(I didn't write this text, it was sent TO me, so please don't blame me!)
A teacher asked the class for a 12-letter word.
A student answered "Masturbation!"
The teacher said, "Wow, that's a mouthful."
The kid said, "No, that's a blow job"
What gets longer when pulled, fits neatly between a pair of breasts, inserts neatly in a hole & does its best work when jerked?
A seatbelt, you pervert! Buckle up!
(I want to try this on a few of the sorostitutes who come into Two Stick already smashed)
OK, make sure you're in a crowded room...now loudly say these three words fast: ALPHA KENNY BODY
Why do cows look sad when being milked?
If someone woke you up early, rubbed your titties for two hours and didn't fuck you, you'd be pissed too!
What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
So Hilary decides to shave her pubes. The night after the primaries, she's out with a couple of campaign contributors, has a few drinks and gets up to make a speech.
Towards the end of this she pulls up her skirt and says "Read my lips, no more Bush!"
Do you know why sex-ed and driver's-ed are not taught on the same day in Mexico? It wears the donkey out!
(I didn't write this text, it was sent TO me, so please don't blame me!)
A teacher asked the class for a 12-letter word.
A student answered "Masturbation!"
The teacher said, "Wow, that's a mouthful."
The kid said, "No, that's a blow job"
What gets longer when pulled, fits neatly between a pair of breasts, inserts neatly in a hole & does its best work when jerked?
A seatbelt, you pervert! Buckle up!
(I want to try this on a few of the sorostitutes who come into Two Stick already smashed)
OK, make sure you're in a crowded room...now loudly say these three words fast: ALPHA KENNY BODY
Why do cows look sad when being milked?
If someone woke you up early, rubbed your titties for two hours and didn't fuck you, you'd be pissed too!
What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
The longer you play with them, the harder they get.