Caitlyn
I think that holding your truth might be one of the most empowering experiences you can live. I never really thought that there would be a way to feel enlightened, but I do indeed assign the current state of being I am in to that.
So I told her, all that I had for her in me, and all that I wanted from her. She told me she was too afraid and not prepared to go so deep. Pity. I really think it would have done much for her; I would have held that space for her.
I am grateful that she was able to rouse up such a response from us. I was so worried about Joey and his well-being, but now he's trying to swim to the surface again. Even though she wasn't wanting to reciprocate, she allowed me and us to validate what we were feeling. I am strangely not unsettled as I feared I would be. I thought that sadness would accompany this, but I really don't feel any. I would have liked to been able to start that transcendence with her, but she is afraid; you cannot control other people.
I want to encourage you but I don't want to pressure you. I want to thank you, more than I can muster thanks for anyone I think. In my flow of life you have given me a stone to step on in a place where I saw not any options to continue onward. I don't know if you want to appear later down the stream, but I will respect your decision and thank you for your help. I love you.