*sigh*
I know- I usually post on Myspace- but my daughter is there- and she already worries too much....
The viewing tonight was not as bad as I had expected. Gram seems to be doing OK. My aunt is as sensitive as ever, and Jas dealt with it worse than I would have ever expected. Maybe it hit too close to home. Maybe it's because we were just at another viewing... I don't know- but she didn't want to go, didn't want to go in, didn't want to stay, didn't want to see the body- didn't want to talk to any family members... She just wanted to go to the car. So- we didn't stay long. Long enough to see photos, hug family and see the body. What else is there, right? Ugh. I hate viewings. I hate all of it.
Jas also had a breakdown about family and OUR nuclear family. I think I'm going to try to find a counselor. It was NOT pretty.
Tomorrow is Rhi's heart specialist. I am scared and trying not to think about it.
Everything will be OK.
It has to be.
I am exhausted. Mentally, emotionally and physically.
I want to take a day off work, sleep in, and go for a long swim or something else with water... Something totally immersing and relaxing. But it's not really an option. Work is CRAZY. crazier than it has ever been. And I'm already taking time off for Rhi's appointment and my physical therapy. I didn't even take time off for the viewing. So yeah- a mental health day would just mean it was THAT much crazier when I got back. *sigh*
And so it goes.
The viewing tonight was not as bad as I had expected. Gram seems to be doing OK. My aunt is as sensitive as ever, and Jas dealt with it worse than I would have ever expected. Maybe it hit too close to home. Maybe it's because we were just at another viewing... I don't know- but she didn't want to go, didn't want to go in, didn't want to stay, didn't want to see the body- didn't want to talk to any family members... She just wanted to go to the car. So- we didn't stay long. Long enough to see photos, hug family and see the body. What else is there, right? Ugh. I hate viewings. I hate all of it.
Jas also had a breakdown about family and OUR nuclear family. I think I'm going to try to find a counselor. It was NOT pretty.
Tomorrow is Rhi's heart specialist. I am scared and trying not to think about it.
Everything will be OK.
It has to be.
I am exhausted. Mentally, emotionally and physically.
I want to take a day off work, sleep in, and go for a long swim or something else with water... Something totally immersing and relaxing. But it's not really an option. Work is CRAZY. crazier than it has ever been. And I'm already taking time off for Rhi's appointment and my physical therapy. I didn't even take time off for the viewing. So yeah- a mental health day would just mean it was THAT much crazier when I got back. *sigh*
And so it goes.