Friends and family of the soul
I’ll apologize in advance for this being a long post. It’s been a while, and I think I have a lot to say tonight.
I have realized again how important my friends are to me. There’s a quote, I think it’s anonymous, and it goes something like this: “When ever I find myself falling I just remember that my friends are my energy.” I’ve realized that mine are more than my energy. They’re my oxygen. I’ll never get to hug my muse again, but he’s still there, and he still inspires me. My little sisters have been through too much already, and I just want to save them, but I can’t. My big sisters are at least finally doing well, and with luck it will stay that way. My big brother is too far away. My best friend called to make sure he didn’t have to go harass a professor for me. I miss them all so much, and some of them are still just moments or hours away.
Today I helped clean up the remains of an egging. Yeah, it was Halloween, and kids do stupid stuff, but this was more. They egged one vehicle of three in the drive way. They added all sorts of odd goo from little plastic things. It smelled like butterscotch pudding. And a pumpkin left smashed at the end of the drive way. While none of the people we’re fairly sure are responsible will ever read this, I like knowing that I spoiled their fun. They ruined my night, and upset the family of their intended victim, but we love her enough that we wanted to spare her the knowledge that her so-called friends, for whom she has practically walked through fire, egged her. That’s how much they really care. I think it’s sad that they are willing to just throw away such a good friend.
I just wish I were better at keeping in touch. I miss so many things and so many people. Some of the friends I used to be closest to I don’t even know how to reach any more. I’m going to do my best not to loose the rest of them. There are so many people I need to call or write, or e-mail, or track down. There are people I want to track down, just to know how their lives turned out, to know if they remember me.
I’ll try not to be so sentimental and philosophical for the rest of this, partially to keep myself from getting upset.
For those who haven’t heard from me in a while, I have been working 3rd shift at Kohl’s and I make ice cream at Bruster’s. I’m back at home with my parents. With luck, some students loans and a place to sleep I will be at school in January, in Raleigh, Cullowhee or Boone. I’m actually hoping for Boone, and please, no party/smoking jokes. You people should know me way better than that.
As I have said to many, I hate the real world, I want to go back to school. I am, and I will, and I hope to stay there the rest of my career/adult life. All my applications are in, and I am just waiting for my acceptance letters. One should arrive by thanksgiving. The others, I have no idea. Before Christmas I hope.
I’ll be in FL for Christmas, and back in Gastonia for New Years. I’m hoping to have time to see some friends and do Christmas with them before I go to FL. We’ll see how work turns out. I have to give notice and all that after all.
To all my friends and spiritual siblings, and my real sibling too: I love you guys, and I want to make sure you all know it. Life is short, and part of me worries that I’m wasting it in some ways. I wish I could spend all my time with the friends and family that matter more to me than anything else. Not only are they my energy and oxygen, they are my inspiration and my life. I exist only in the hearts and minds of those who love me.
I am a figment of the imagination, of a figment of the imagination, of a figment of my imagination.
And just because I can’t say it enough, I miss you Matt.
Heather
I have realized again how important my friends are to me. There’s a quote, I think it’s anonymous, and it goes something like this: “When ever I find myself falling I just remember that my friends are my energy.” I’ve realized that mine are more than my energy. They’re my oxygen. I’ll never get to hug my muse again, but he’s still there, and he still inspires me. My little sisters have been through too much already, and I just want to save them, but I can’t. My big sisters are at least finally doing well, and with luck it will stay that way. My big brother is too far away. My best friend called to make sure he didn’t have to go harass a professor for me. I miss them all so much, and some of them are still just moments or hours away.
Today I helped clean up the remains of an egging. Yeah, it was Halloween, and kids do stupid stuff, but this was more. They egged one vehicle of three in the drive way. They added all sorts of odd goo from little plastic things. It smelled like butterscotch pudding. And a pumpkin left smashed at the end of the drive way. While none of the people we’re fairly sure are responsible will ever read this, I like knowing that I spoiled their fun. They ruined my night, and upset the family of their intended victim, but we love her enough that we wanted to spare her the knowledge that her so-called friends, for whom she has practically walked through fire, egged her. That’s how much they really care. I think it’s sad that they are willing to just throw away such a good friend.
I just wish I were better at keeping in touch. I miss so many things and so many people. Some of the friends I used to be closest to I don’t even know how to reach any more. I’m going to do my best not to loose the rest of them. There are so many people I need to call or write, or e-mail, or track down. There are people I want to track down, just to know how their lives turned out, to know if they remember me.
I’ll try not to be so sentimental and philosophical for the rest of this, partially to keep myself from getting upset.
For those who haven’t heard from me in a while, I have been working 3rd shift at Kohl’s and I make ice cream at Bruster’s. I’m back at home with my parents. With luck, some students loans and a place to sleep I will be at school in January, in Raleigh, Cullowhee or Boone. I’m actually hoping for Boone, and please, no party/smoking jokes. You people should know me way better than that.
As I have said to many, I hate the real world, I want to go back to school. I am, and I will, and I hope to stay there the rest of my career/adult life. All my applications are in, and I am just waiting for my acceptance letters. One should arrive by thanksgiving. The others, I have no idea. Before Christmas I hope.
I’ll be in FL for Christmas, and back in Gastonia for New Years. I’m hoping to have time to see some friends and do Christmas with them before I go to FL. We’ll see how work turns out. I have to give notice and all that after all.
To all my friends and spiritual siblings, and my real sibling too: I love you guys, and I want to make sure you all know it. Life is short, and part of me worries that I’m wasting it in some ways. I wish I could spend all my time with the friends and family that matter more to me than anything else. Not only are they my energy and oxygen, they are my inspiration and my life. I exist only in the hearts and minds of those who love me.
I am a figment of the imagination, of a figment of the imagination, of a figment of my imagination.
And just because I can’t say it enough, I miss you Matt.
Heather