This is not my home
This is not my family, not my cabal. I don’t know if it ever will be. Here I am useless. In Stillwater there was always something for me to do. Mr. Charlie needed help at the shop or I could go help at the homeless shelter. I made dinner every night for a house full of people that counted on me. Alice always needed a portal somewhere or help with some problem. Dox and I would talk for hours about things going on in our lives and council each other on mundane problems. I had a purpose. Here I am extra. They don’t need me and they wouldn’t look to me even if they did. They have their cabal.
Even when I was completely nuts the brothers found a place for me in their lives. I know I shouldn’t expect things to be the same as they were at home but I don’t feel this is where I should be at all.
I love my husband and this is where he needs to be. I get that they need him. I get that he is an important part of their dynamic. I don’t want to take him away from this, but I don’t know who I am any more.
Even when I was completely nuts the brothers found a place for me in their lives. I know I shouldn’t expect things to be the same as they were at home but I don’t feel this is where I should be at all.
I love my husband and this is where he needs to be. I get that they need him. I get that he is an important part of their dynamic. I don’t want to take him away from this, but I don’t know who I am any more.