Change, and the relaxing into it.
I am having a hard time getting someone to understand "You cannot always continue to do the same thing you have always done." Eventually one must shift, habits, behaviors, thoughts and expectations. Things that have worked up to this point do not ~always~ continue to be the best plan of action.
First off, I don't like change. Honestly, I like having my comfort and things just so. I also have seen that change does happen, is healthy, and will always occur. Stagnation leads to death, which is really just the last change you go through in this form. I see myself as a flexible person, overall. I see myself as learning more about the universe around me and the spirit that is within me. Both are reflections of the same thing. Growth for me is the processing of new information. And responding to it. I was taught to take new information and use it.
Recently I've been interacting closely with someone who seemingly refuses new information. Be it how they interact with their children or grandchild to the more simple new bed sheets fit differently than a set kept for 15/20 years. One of these things really doesn't matter, the other matters greatly.
In between those is dietary needs. It is simple knowledge to me that as a person goes through life they need different things. A baby would choke on steak and might not be able to process it to the highest ability. Adults can process much more and need to maintain certain levels of nourishment to be healthy. As adults advance in age, it shifts again and sometimes supplements are added to continue the health that one has sustained up to this point.
I am so frustrated with saying 'well, maybe you need to do things differently now' and being met with "I've done it this way all of my life and done just fine".
Thanks to my spiritual training, something I continue on working with, I listen to information given to me. By listen I mean hear it with my ears, and then examine it with my heart and mind, and test if it feels like the truth to me. If it's feed back from a best friend going 'hey, maybe they mean this [X].' Or someone in opposition with me, 'You're being cranky today. And a real bitch.' Or self feed back, 'This (action) really worked! And I felt good after doing it, accomplishing it.'
Self examining a moment, interaction or experience has given me great insight into myself. IT HAS NOT ALWAYS BEEN COMFORTABLE. I mean, it can be quite painful at times. But overall, it leads me in a direction I like. I see myself moving towards a feeling of ever expanding happiness. Creating the space for "better" opportunities on all levels of my experience. Not everyone is has arrived at this place. Some are far beyond me as well.
I feel bad seeing someone stuck on something for which I see a resolution. Logically, I know they will get it when they are in a place to understand it. I feel bad but I am not willing to go above and beyond, over and over, to 'fix it for them'. Any situation is their problem. I can support them up to the point they allow. If my help, idea, solution is refused, but my attention still required, I declare it OKAY with me to say 'No'.
This has a lot to deal with my family right now. I have been looking at things here and saying "This is not healthy for me. I choose not to stay in this space. (And so mentally I am not here, but physically am.... I'm WORKING on it...) I choose not to put my energy into your upset." And I've really been looking at how there could be some guilt for not doing more. I also am examining what I am capable of, and what I am willing to do.
It is okay to not be willing to engage in an interaction that does not feed my soul, no matter who the person is. They have their issues and process AND I have mine. I consider theirs as best I am able. I see a difference when someone is considering those around them and still go through with an action and the unaware behavior of just doing an action. Are you?
How much of this rings true for you? How much is a new idea? Or reminders of old discussions?
Within this text, I am looking at what I'm doing. Looking at what it feels like. Questioning if the result is a feeling I want to continue and then making the decision to continue or end a behavior. It is that easy to fix things you are unhappy with within yourself.
I don't like change. But, I'm pretty comfortable with it.