Constant Thought
I get quite a bit of college mail. I used to read and save a good bit of it.
Now I just throw it away. I don't even bother opening the ones from former potential schools.
I feel as is thats what I'm doing with my dreams*. But I'm still planning on persuing a career which requires a substantial amount of further education. I just have no clue what that career may be.
*-Dreams can be defined as the period of time in which I aspired to succeed at a career in experimental psychology/psychopharmacology OR make a dream out of Lighting Design, whether it be for concerts or theatre.
Lately I've been filled with questions. To myself, to others, about myself, about others.
I almost feel as if I'm taking too many steps back.
__
The (trivial, yet potentially overwhelming) plan thus far seems to be
+Feb/March I move into new downtown location with parental units.
-Visit friend in Ft. Worth -Graduate. -Learn keyboard & become good. -Try to apprentice at one of two piercing studios. -Job? -Get a tattoo for birthday and do a suspension. -Get a car in mid to late June. -Join gym, stay healthy, be fit. -Try xxx. xxxxxxxx.(nothing bad, I'm just sick of talking about it) -Perhaps join suspension team ....
+July/August Lauren and I are relocating to an apartment in Austin.
-Go to college for basic courses. Only a few hours a week -Get a job (aka mission complicated) -Hopefully continue apprenticeschip at a different studio. -Continue practicing keyboard. -Stay healthy/fit. -xxx. xxxxxxxx some. -Suspension team? -Conventions/camps/barbecues/etc of various kinds. Maybe other kinds of traveling too.
+Summer '08 may move somewhere.
Depends on everything else. Los Angeles is still my #1 destination. North America is offering a plethora of future homes. Los Angeles, Detroit, NYC, Philladelphia, Phoenix, Toronto, Cincinatti, Seattle. There's just so many!
______
To a deaf audience,
=9th of March I'm going to San Antonio to see P9 and give Nero the damn flag. ..which I desperately need to finish.
=Music files need a severe enema. Loads of shit stuck in there :(
=My ass hurts from this wooden chair. I can't wait to have an actual computer chair.
=This computer needs to be looked at/cleaned professionally and the CD tray, which I accidently broke out, replaced.
=Tomorrow I get my synth and I will probably be hooking it up to my laptop and dedicating that machine to music.
=It's all about Crack Rock'n'Roll these days. Crack rock'n'roll and having your mind fucked.
=The future is modified. &cyborgs.
=Got new Skinny Puppy CD. I have mixed feelings about it. Still madly in love with them though. Can't wait till the tour. etc. etc.
=Saw Hannibal Rising. I had very low expectations which were met and outdone. I love any bit of gore, Hannibal, WW2/Germany, Japanese sword techniques so I'm a biased critic.
=I made a damn good attempt to walk to the movie theatre Thursday evening (9ish). While passing in front of some apartments I was approached by a mexican guy who tried to get me to go drink beer with him :P No thx. Later I was running through a field by the medical area and my shoe got stuck in mud >_< I had to walk back through the mud in my sock to find the shoe and put it back on. Not long after that I got picked up by a girl I used to have a maybe-crush on.
=One of my friends want to get his p33n pierced, so naturally I'm the chosen company in this quest. This will give me an extra opportunity to talk with/make an impression at the studio. I'm pretty sure he was serious.....
=I wanna go to prom :P I may be going to prom. :P
=I have been told I am very fucking unique several times in the past couple weeks.
=Currently reading The Antichrist by Nietzche.
=Often I find myself analyzing things to extreme degrees.
=A visit to the dentist is long overdue. Nothing is visibly wrong...I would just like to make sure I don't get ex-tweeker teeth.
=Body modification consumes my thoughts lately. It's almost like an addiction replacement for drugs..... much less destructive though.
=No matter what I'm doing with myself it seems to be self destructive one way or another.
=paranoia sucks.
=Damian is my valentine.
=I want a mint chocolate..phone!
=Shannon Larratt is cute.
=Sick of cleaning and I'm getting tired :[
=Gotta go clean (4:29am)
***********************************
Today I would like to promote Aphex Twin as good mentalfuck music. Download and listen to at a high volume WindowLicker
**********************************