(no subject)
i have the house to myself for about 15 more minutes. i'm supposed to be practicing, but i've got other things on my mind. The thing that's been bothering me most is the fact that i have over a month of waiting. Now that its almost time for Interlochen, i'm not sure i really want to go. I want to go to the first day of school with all the rest of you and laugh at the scrawny freshman. I want to see their confused faces and tell them to go to the fourth floor. okay, not really, i'd never do that. but you know what i mean. i watched my sisters go through that school and graduate, but by the time i finally get there, i leave. whats up with that? haha! i know i'll be fine where i'm going, but i'm tired of waiting. i want to go right now and find out if thats really what i want to do. Maybe i dont want to be a great violinist. Id have to work and i'm not sure i'm up for that. interlochen is going to be practice practice and more practice mixed in with chemistry and algebra 2. haha! but the thing i'm really bothered about is when i come home. My friends will be different-i'm not saything thats a bad thing, but i'll be different too. Will they accept me? will it really change that much? of course it will! thats just the way things are! but when everythig changes, will it be alright? i dont exactly know what i'm saying, but i think you guys get it. i got a small taste of this when i came home from my 4 week camp. It was so much fun to see everybody but things changed and i didnt know what was going on. once again-it wasn't a bad thing, but for a while i felt like a newbie. Izzy and tara got boyfriends, and then everyone was in the show, there were new people that came into the circle from HH...it was all very exciting and fun, but at the same time very dissapointing. Its very selfish of me to say all of this. to think that everything should revolve around me, and to want everything to stay the same. I know it wont, and i dont REALLY want everything to say that same. that wouldn't be exciting. I guess i just want to be able to come home to a group of people who will accept me and fill me in on whats happening.