'From The Inside Out' - Hunger Games Fanfic
Title: 'From The Inside Out'
Author: deliciouslycrzy
Characters/Pairings: Wiress, Beetee, slight Beetee/Wiress
Rating: T-lite (For violence and the vaguest hints of prostitution)
Spoilers: Only if you haven't read the books.
Summary: The cameras are always watching.
Note: This was inspired by the quote on my LJ cut, but looking at it now, I'm not entirely sure how.
She feels their greedy eyes upon their skin, those hollow orbs of the watchers- millions of them- burrowing under what they thought was the mask, just to see who they was on the outside, but only Wiress knows that what they're really doing is tearing through muscle and sinew to the core beneath, so they rip out what makes her her and Beetee Beetee and though she knows he hates it, hates her being on display for the world to see, she knows the only reason he lets them is...
The alternative.
It's only eyes, not hands - no hands except for his, and that's only when the eyes watch too much and the world spins like the face of a clock in fast forward, always a soothing pat on the head, a chaste kiss on the cheek, nothing more but Wiress doesn't mind because to her, that is all there is in the world, and Beetee does all he can to keep it that way.
Some call it selfless, his love for her.
He just says they don't know Wiress, and that always makes her giggle and hum, though she doesn't know why.
-/-/-
Her life is just
moments
cool afternoons spent in the lab with Beetee, him at his bench while she's spread out on the floor, absently playing with a still engine while her mind whirs,
his laughter, sharp and catching, like a spark in an engine, when an idea spills out into the open of their home and though its spoken out loud he knows its safe because this place is theirs, not the Capitol's
The masked fear in his eyes whenever the phone rings, and every toll of the bell just seeks to remind them both how precious the 'quiet' times are, and how close they are to losing one another
fire that burns deep with her that only ever manages to manifest itself at the strangest of times, such as when she jumps up and kisses Beetee goodbye when President Snow's assistant comes to take him away, again, and all she can do is listen to the fire and wordlessly tell him to come back to her
The songs she sings, not only for her, but for Beetee, wherever he is those particular nights, so that he can follow it home, just in case
sitting, unresponsive while in the Capitol, waiting for Beetee to come back from wherever he goes that makes his face so sad, his eyes as dark as the blood that splatters his clothes and body in the places he thinks she won't see - high up on his inner left thigh, caked behind his left ear under his glasses, dripping down his right arm and onto his palm -
The resigned misery that invades their sanctuary after ever Capitol visit, leaving a murky darkness over everything and always requiring days spent just getting back to balance, back to when the world looks right on the horizon and Beetee's the one who stops her tears, not the other way around
and finally
the screams that he thinks she doesn't hear, in the dead of the night when no one cares that you're slowly dying from the inside out.
Her life is just moments, never changing unless
-/-/-/-
She's fifteen years old and being sent off to die
She's not sure how old she is but she's being sent off to die.
The square is silent except for the breathing of thousands and the weeping of few, and as she steps up onto the stage, its just as it was twenty years ago, back when she didn't know how much blood a person can lose before death is imminent '2.24 liters on average' and when she could look at a person without imagining how they'd look with their throat slit.
The eyes are on her, seen and unseen and Beetee's there, his eyes clouded and glasses askew, but he's staring at her with the same encouragement as he did back then, though the angle's all wrong and from up here it just looks like he's in pain.
Maybe he is.
Wiress is District 3's only living female victor, so even before this second Reaping, she knew it was coming, no matter how many times Beetee whispered that she'd be alright, that he'd find a way to protect her, just like he had all those years ago.
She smiles at the thought, because although she knows she's going to die - she's not planning it or anything, she just knows, the same way as a child, she knew without asking that she would go to bed hungry- she also knows that he won't. She feels it, deep in her core, that he will outlive her, that he will be the one who has to pick up the pieces of her once she's gone, which is odd, because isn't he doing that already?
Wiress knows it's time to repay the debts.
So when the name of someone else is called and Beetee volunteers to go in his stead, she just smiles and stares dreamily at the train, grateful that he volunteered so that he'll be safe, by her side.
There's that pained smile again, not for the cameras, for her, as Beetee steps up onto the platform and now she can see the red rimming his eyes, and she thinks,
'Must be allergies,' because the alternative is improbable.
The Capitol representative directs them to shake hands, so they do.
They don't let go, and they're still holding hands as the Peacekeepers lead them away, not towards the Justice Building (“New Procedure” one of them says snidely) and really, Wiress doesn't mind, because the only person she'd ever want to say goodbye to is next to her, her other half.