Like a child...
I can't seem to bring myself to tell my mother the news. Telling E was hard, but I did it. Telling my friends was embarrassing, if anything. Telling my mom? Eh, avoiding completely!
I've been meaning to call... I mean, she's one of my best friends too. I adore my mom. And maybe that's why, at 30 years old, the thought of disappointing her or making her worry about me unnecessarily just kills me. I feel like the 10 year old who broke the favorite cookie jar all over again. Can't bring myself to 'fess up to the news, even though it's my life, my choices.
She's not going to be happy that I'm not married. Again. I know that. But I don't think running off to get hitched is the best plan at the moment.
I eased her into it today. The last I talked to her, I told her how I was leaving Bear because he cheated on me. I mean, I was in near hysterics bawling my eyes out and completely hurt. So today in my email, I mentioned that we're working it out and staying together. I'll see how she responds to that first.
Yet with my mom's incredible intuition with me, I'm probably not giving her enough credit. I'd guarantee she suspects it already if nothing else. She knows when I don't call, something is up. *sigh*
I should just tell her and get it over with. I just want to warm her up to the idea of us staying together first. And then I'll drop the bomb. She'll freak out at first and worry incessantly. Then she'll come to terms and get excited about it.
Just takes some time... Yet selfishly, in the state I'm in and as close as I am to her... all I want is my mom to lean on. But I think it would be rude of me to drop it on her like that out of nowhere...
I've been meaning to call... I mean, she's one of my best friends too. I adore my mom. And maybe that's why, at 30 years old, the thought of disappointing her or making her worry about me unnecessarily just kills me. I feel like the 10 year old who broke the favorite cookie jar all over again. Can't bring myself to 'fess up to the news, even though it's my life, my choices.
She's not going to be happy that I'm not married. Again. I know that. But I don't think running off to get hitched is the best plan at the moment.
I eased her into it today. The last I talked to her, I told her how I was leaving Bear because he cheated on me. I mean, I was in near hysterics bawling my eyes out and completely hurt. So today in my email, I mentioned that we're working it out and staying together. I'll see how she responds to that first.
Yet with my mom's incredible intuition with me, I'm probably not giving her enough credit. I'd guarantee she suspects it already if nothing else. She knows when I don't call, something is up. *sigh*
I should just tell her and get it over with. I just want to warm her up to the idea of us staying together first. And then I'll drop the bomb. She'll freak out at first and worry incessantly. Then she'll come to terms and get excited about it.
Just takes some time... Yet selfishly, in the state I'm in and as close as I am to her... all I want is my mom to lean on. But I think it would be rude of me to drop it on her like that out of nowhere...