Onward
I have begun to see mortality apply to me.
Did something stupid and had a week-long meditation about how the fuck I'm going to live what remains of my life.
Is that a call to change?
I hope so.
It is so hard to stand by and watch myself be less. Be shut down. Be scared and drawn away.
But it is so easy. Practice ruts instead of flying.
There you go, Bean.
I put that darker part of the thought here like I used to.
I have the desire to sing and soar.
I want to push past the muck of indecision and foggy forgetfulness.
I miss LJ.
I miss running.
I miss kissing.
Did something stupid and had a week-long meditation about how the fuck I'm going to live what remains of my life.
Is that a call to change?
I hope so.
It is so hard to stand by and watch myself be less. Be shut down. Be scared and drawn away.
But it is so easy. Practice ruts instead of flying.
There you go, Bean.
I put that darker part of the thought here like I used to.
I have the desire to sing and soar.
I want to push past the muck of indecision and foggy forgetfulness.
I miss LJ.
I miss running.
I miss kissing.