Dear Diary:
Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy then we were captured by hillfolk never to be seen again!
...Oh wait. That's not right.
Today I was all "HEY BOYFRIEND, haven't seen you since last weekend, wanna go on a date on Sunday? I need more love!" and boyfriend was all "How did you survive before you met me?" and then I got pissed and signed off of chat. Sorry dude, girlfriend requires maintenance beyond a weekly fucking and a monthly period check. Yes sir, I made it through another month without ruining your life. Great success. Seriously. He keeps track of my cycle way better than I do. I've made it almost 27 whole years without getting pregnant, I'm pretty good at it by now.
Perhaps it is an unconscious defense mechanism but I seem to keep picking men who have no feelings or are engrossed in some sort of technology to the point that they have trouble paying attention to me. I'm fairly certain that I do not require more attention than other people do. Please pet me and tell me I look pretty. I like to make out.
I also require adventure. Srsly. I'm not talking about serious adventure here, though I like those as well. Walking to the ice cream place at dusk counts as adventure, as long as there is at least one cartwheel on the way. Drinking a bottle of wine in the grass at the U totally counts as adventure. Sneaking into abandoned buildings is definitely adventure. Moonlight bike rides, picnics, home improvement projects, art museums, grass rolling, tree climbing, hiking, alley sex, science lectures, etc. These are my favorite adventures. You may notice that this list does not include TV watching, dope smoking, or sitting quietly. I am ADD as fuck. I neeeeeeeed to do things. All of the things. ALL OF THEM. Boyfriend seems perfectly content to stick to his routine of doing only his things, then going to bed at 9pm. I have never had a boyfriend who would not oblige a request for hot sex on a Wednesday night at 7pm.
I'm partially to blame for this whole thing. He told me at the start that he tries to keep all parts of his life equal and he would not be able a raise a girlfriend higher than any of the other things. I am a gift giver, I can't help it. I make tiny interesting things and give them to him all of the time. It's just what I do for people that I love. He told me that he'd never be able to match the amount of love that I give him. I should have known better.
I am a special lady. If you know me in real life then you probably know this. I am a collector of things, a spreader of glittery sunshine joy, a pantsless reader, a shitty artist, a firecracker in the sack, a great baker, a constantly learning intellectual, an open minded adventurer, curious, occasionally macabre, circus of a lady. I'm fucking stoked to be alive and sometimes I get excited and spill things and leave my shit all over the place and say the F word in inappropriate situations. I would rather be alone then feel like a burden. I don't want to have to feel like I should stay out of the way. I don't like having to forcibly insert myself into someone's life. When you date me, you get the whole shebang-the cats, all my friends, my family, my lack of self control, poor impulse control, everything. If that makes you squirm then you are not the man for me. We'll see what happens here. I feel better already.
...Oh wait. That's not right.
Today I was all "HEY BOYFRIEND, haven't seen you since last weekend, wanna go on a date on Sunday? I need more love!" and boyfriend was all "How did you survive before you met me?" and then I got pissed and signed off of chat. Sorry dude, girlfriend requires maintenance beyond a weekly fucking and a monthly period check. Yes sir, I made it through another month without ruining your life. Great success. Seriously. He keeps track of my cycle way better than I do. I've made it almost 27 whole years without getting pregnant, I'm pretty good at it by now.
Perhaps it is an unconscious defense mechanism but I seem to keep picking men who have no feelings or are engrossed in some sort of technology to the point that they have trouble paying attention to me. I'm fairly certain that I do not require more attention than other people do. Please pet me and tell me I look pretty. I like to make out.
I also require adventure. Srsly. I'm not talking about serious adventure here, though I like those as well. Walking to the ice cream place at dusk counts as adventure, as long as there is at least one cartwheel on the way. Drinking a bottle of wine in the grass at the U totally counts as adventure. Sneaking into abandoned buildings is definitely adventure. Moonlight bike rides, picnics, home improvement projects, art museums, grass rolling, tree climbing, hiking, alley sex, science lectures, etc. These are my favorite adventures. You may notice that this list does not include TV watching, dope smoking, or sitting quietly. I am ADD as fuck. I neeeeeeeed to do things. All of the things. ALL OF THEM. Boyfriend seems perfectly content to stick to his routine of doing only his things, then going to bed at 9pm. I have never had a boyfriend who would not oblige a request for hot sex on a Wednesday night at 7pm.
I'm partially to blame for this whole thing. He told me at the start that he tries to keep all parts of his life equal and he would not be able a raise a girlfriend higher than any of the other things. I am a gift giver, I can't help it. I make tiny interesting things and give them to him all of the time. It's just what I do for people that I love. He told me that he'd never be able to match the amount of love that I give him. I should have known better.
I am a special lady. If you know me in real life then you probably know this. I am a collector of things, a spreader of glittery sunshine joy, a pantsless reader, a shitty artist, a firecracker in the sack, a great baker, a constantly learning intellectual, an open minded adventurer, curious, occasionally macabre, circus of a lady. I'm fucking stoked to be alive and sometimes I get excited and spill things and leave my shit all over the place and say the F word in inappropriate situations. I would rather be alone then feel like a burden. I don't want to have to feel like I should stay out of the way. I don't like having to forcibly insert myself into someone's life. When you date me, you get the whole shebang-the cats, all my friends, my family, my lack of self control, poor impulse control, everything. If that makes you squirm then you are not the man for me. We'll see what happens here. I feel better already.